aliveagain Posted March 30, 2019 Share Posted March 30, 2019 Listen to your lawyer, get all you can so you can build your new life. You are no longer responsible for her. Thank God you found out who she really is before you had children with her. The other man is open game, after your divorce he needs to be exposed so he learns his lesson(place of worship, his family, his business). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Willski Posted April 1, 2019 Author Share Posted April 1, 2019 Under Texas divorce law, adultery can greatly impact how the court decides both alimony and property division. Although in Texas you can file for a “no-fault” divorce, to protect yourself from her coming back at you later claiming that she did not have legal representation, you may want to file for divorce based on adultery. If you told your lawyer about her cheating, I am surprised that your lawyer did not discuss this with you. Although you will need to show proof of the affair, the court will not expect you to prove that sexual intercourse actually happened, as long as you can show circumstantial evidence. The judge will not buy the lies that cheaters feed their spouses, as they have heard it all before. My lawyer advices me to do uncontested divorce since she is willing to let me keep my house and money. She signed divorce decree with clauses stating I keep my house and money. She also signed a deed of trust for my house. Plan B would be divorce on grounds of adultery, but she would lawyer up and for sure we will split assets and properties. Even if I get a bigger cut, she still gets a piece of the cake. Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted April 2, 2019 Share Posted April 2, 2019 Op, I echo the advice of others to be on your guard. Once the dust settles a bit, your soon to be ex wife may well decide to lawyer up too, and it could get nasty. I suspect she signed the document out of guilt, but guilt eventually wears off. It will be replaced with the same selfish behavior that led to her affair. Link to post Share on other sites
Mauser96 Posted April 26, 2019 Share Posted April 26, 2019 (edited) I just hope she doesn't leave you desolate. Some women are just crazy... Girl at my graduate school is engaged but is flirting with me on the daily. Gave me her number and all that. I feel bad for the guy. Anyways, keep your head up, you're better than that. Cut her out ASAP. It's easier said than done, but it's the truth. Even if she does come back and you let her, it won't work out. Not with what you know now. Edited April 26, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed commercial link 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 26, 2019 Share Posted April 26, 2019 I didn’t buy the story, I just didn’t want have hard evidence. But yeah always always listen to your instincts. Why wouldn't you want hard evidence of her cheating? You should insist she go home to her parents. It is not your responsibility to make sure she completes school. Let her transfer to her home town and finish nursing school. You owe her nothing. She was never in love with you and the only reason she wants to reconcile is to have someone take care of her. Tell her to ask her boss to do it. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 26, 2019 Share Posted April 26, 2019 (edited) I just hope she doesn't leave you desolate. Some women are just crazy... Girl at my graduate school is engaged but is flirting with me on the daily. Gave me her number and all that. I feel bad for the guy. Anyways, keep your head up, you're better than that. Cut her out ASAP. It's easier said than done, but it's the truth. Even if she does come back and you let her, it won't work out. Not with what you know now. It's an epidemic. My friend's daughter is due to get married in June and is having an affair with another man. My friend is trying to get her to cancel the wedding and come clean. Edited April 26, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed commercial link 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Willski Posted May 6, 2019 Author Share Posted May 6, 2019 My divorce was finalized May 2nd. I keep my money, my cars and my house. She wanted to work things out but understood that that she destroyed everything and just wanted me to be happy. Hopefully she will not file an appeal, less than 30 days to go till everything is set in stone. I put my older brother as beneficiary for my term life insurance and told him, “just make sure you burry me! Lol” 5 Link to post Share on other sites
bigman1 Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 (edited) Fantastic news. Check to make sure that she is off everything like emergency contact, survivors benefits for other things. Seriously do a full sweep to make sure she is off EVERYTHING. You'd be amazed at what she might be listed on. Insurance agent told me about an ex wife who showed up and claimed money as she was listed on, I think it was, an annuity or some sort of investment deal. It may have been a bond. Told to me about 5 years ago, so memory fails, but lesson was learned. Swooped in got the money and ran. Do a deep scan. Edited May 7, 2019 by bigman1 clean up Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 Good for you that you got what you felt was a fair outcome. Hope you are continuing to make progress emotionally as well and that this helps to bring some additional closure for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 Good for you. I think you were right to turn her away on the chance to reconcile. I doubt seriously after having a 5 year affair she learned overnight how to be a faithful woman. C Link to post Share on other sites
truf Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 Keep us updated. Also, destroy them both when it's really finalized. I might be vengeful, but being manipulated and cheated on for 5 years (meeting 15 times is a lie, it'll probably be at least 15 times a year) is terrible. And since it's the truth, why shouldn't anyone else know? It's the right thing to do, haha. Everyone deserves to know the truth Anyway, hope you're doing well and that the divorce will be finalized how you want it to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Willski Posted June 16, 2019 Author Share Posted June 16, 2019 Quick update. 30days passed my divorce and everything is final and set in stone. No appeal from my ex wife. I keep my house, money and cars. I’m doing better and Will focus on myself for a little bit. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted June 16, 2019 Share Posted June 16, 2019 Has she been still trying to get you back? Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 Congrats on the divorce working out well at least. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Buffer Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 Quick update. 30days passed my divorce and everything is final and set in stone. No appeal from my ex wife. I keep my house, money and cars. I’m doing better and Will focus on myself for a little bit. Congratulations for this as long as it is what you want. All the best for your new life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Willski Posted June 17, 2019 Author Share Posted June 17, 2019 Has she been still trying to get you back? She kept asking me to withdraw our divorce. she kept telling me she made a mistake and she was meant to spend the rest of her life with me if I would let her. She cried all day when it was final. And She keeps telling me that she was just fooled by the other man. He was married and she knew it. I don’t want to look back when I’m old and remember what she did to me, so I knew I was out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 If she really loved you the way she is talking to you now that affair would have never lasted five years. She would have ended it as soon as it started. I think what your seeing now is her fear of really just being alone. I am sure a good part of the reason I stayed with my Serial cheating xW was just because of that and our children. Your right about looking back. Its been twelve years since our divorce and I am still distraught over how long I stayed with her. It just eats me up inside of how stupid I was for letting her destroy me like that. I think its just going to take me more time. You at least can move on with your life knowing you did the right thing once you were made aware of what had happened. I wouldn't be mean to her. I would just wish her the best in her life and encourage her to go learn why she cheated and get help with that before she enters into another relationship. That's the best anyone could hope for in my mind. My xW is still a complete flake and cheater. Some people you cant help. I am glad this is finally over with for you. Keep one thing in mind. You stayed faithful to her. That is something to be proud of. Stay strong. C Link to post Share on other sites
michzz Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 (edited) She kept asking me to withdraw our divorce. she kept telling me she made a mistake and she was meant to spend the rest of her life with me if I would let her. She cried all day when it was final. And She keeps telling me that she was just fooled by the other man. He was married and she knew it. I don’t want to look back when I’m old and remember what she did to me, so I knew I was out. Even now she blame shifts. My ex-wife who infected me with HPV that has caused a throat cancer, said that same kind of crap as we divorced. Her affair was most of a decade. It is an extremely deliberate and hostile thing to do, to cheat for such a long time. Crocodile tears is all she is shedding. Move on glad you are free of her betrayal. And do get tested for STIs, make sure she didn't give you a disease. Edited June 17, 2019 by michzz Link to post Share on other sites
healing light Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 Wow, I think this is the most smooth/fastest divorce I have read of on these boards. Amazed at your resolve. A multi-year affair sounds so painful... My ex-wife who infected me with HPV that has caused a throat cancer, said that same kind of crap as we divorced. Her affair was most of a decade. I agree that you should get checked for STIs to be on the safe side. Side note: keep in mind that they do not test men for HPV, so there's no way to know you have it unless you are symptomatic. Most are not. A man can walk around with clean STD results and continue spreading HPV to his partners. It can express many years or decades later, which means you can't necessarily blame your current partner for it unless you were never sexually active with anyone else prior to your marriage. Even though it's extremely common, doctors don't even regularly test women for it unless their pap smear comes back irregular. How are you coping emotionally? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 She kept asking me to withdraw our divorce. she kept telling me she made a mistake and she was meant to spend the rest of her life with me if I would let her. She cried all day when it was final. And She keeps telling me that she was just fooled by the other man. He was married and she knew it. I don’t want to look back when I’m old and remember what she did to me, so I knew I was out. Nope, she knew exactly what she was doing. They all think a second chance is guaranteed 1 Link to post Share on other sites
michzz Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 Side note: keep in mind that they do not test men for HPV, so there's no way to know you have it unless you are symptomatic. Most are not. A man can walk around with clean STD results and continue spreading HPV to his partners. It can express many years or decades later, which means you can't necessarily blame your current partner for it unless you were never sexually active with anyone else prior to your marriage. Not to thread jack, but when I was diagnosed with the cancer, they did a throat biopsy and confirmed that my ex had given me HPV--two strains, many years before it erupted in cancer. Routine STI screening won't find it Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs._December Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 She kept asking me to withdraw our divorce. she kept telling me she made a mistake and she was meant to spend the rest of her life with me if I would let her. She cried all day when it was final. And She keeps telling me that she was just fooled by the other man. He was married and she knew it. I don’t want to look back when I’m old and remember what she did to me, so I knew I was out. Gosh, I want SO badly to run and get my crying towel so I can commiserate with this poor, heartbroken creature. Not. Smartest decision EVER dumping this cheating, lying, manipulative POS, Willski. You know what they say - "leave a cheater, gain a life." Good for you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 (edited) She kept asking me to withdraw our divorce. she kept telling me she made a mistake and she was meant to spend the rest of her life with me if I would let her. She cried all day when it was final. And She keeps telling me that she was just fooled by the other man. He was married and she knew it. I don’t want to look back when I’m old and remember what she did to me, so I knew I was out. So glad you're on the other side of your pain and are moving forward. You did the right thing because you would never be able to get over the deceit of 5 years of your life with someone who you thought was your best friend and life partner. The other man did not fool her she's a grown woman and knew exactly what she was getting into. Maybe if it happened once but 5 years of cheating without blinking an eye and still not taking responsibility for what she did; but is now blaming it solely on the OM. Did his wife find out? I hope so. The good news is there are plenty of women who are faithful and would love to have a man like you so no worries about that. I admire you for being strong enough to walk away. If you haven't already, please get tested for STIs. Edited June 18, 2019 by stillafool 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Willski Posted August 2, 2019 Author Share Posted August 2, 2019 STD test came back all negative. I am in the clear. Trying to get back up and gonna build the courage up to go out and meet someone. July 27th I traded in the 2013 4Runner Limited that I bought for ex wife. I got myself a new 2019 4Runner TRD Pro. I asked her to sign the paperwork at the dealer since it was under both our names, but I paid for. She asked me “your buying a new car?” I said yeah “I don’t want to be reminded of you when I drive the old one.” I guess I am very lucky to get to keep my house, money and cars. Now I just have to find the one... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 Good for you. I would have told her the same thing. The truth needs to be said. There is nothing wrong with being honest. Its hard for me to understand when people cheat they are surprised they don't get a second chance. If the house is next on the list I would work my way in that direction next. Just smile when you drive your new SUV around. Nothing better than starting over. I just paid off my Camaro and I am already thinking of selling it and giving a serious hard look at that new corvette. I would have never had any of those choices in my life had I stayed married to my xW. Life is better when you invest in you. Link to post Share on other sites
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