Wife had a 5yr affair

[Willski]

Does the boss's wife know? She deserves to and you deserve to ruin him. Don't play too nice with the guy who helped ruin your family.

 

I called his wife and told him everything. She had me text and email all screen shots I saved. She is a CFO of a big hospital where I live. She was pissed and said “my marriage is a sham! we have children!”. She even told me to not tell my wife she knew so she can play it off and dig in her husbands phone and computer. Fingers crossed she divorced him and takes him to the bank.

[Willski]

Legally, the house is joint property and he can’t just kick her out. As long as she doesn’t know that and as long as she doesn’t wise up until everything is finalized, he’s doing the best thing by taking his attoney’s advice and ‘playing nice’.

 

And I agree, he needs to thank his lucky stars no children are involved.

 

This 60-90 days are gonna be the longest 60-90 days of my life...

[BaileyB]

Takes 60-90 days to finalize the divorce. My lawyer wants me to keep her happy so she won’t appeal the D and try to take half.l

 

She would have to be stupid not to get a lawyer. I’m not sure I would rely on her continued compliance, especially as the reality of her situation hits home and the fear of supporting herself starts to sink in...

[Willski]

She would have to be stupid not to get a lawyer. I’m not sure I would rely on her continued compliance, especially as the reality of her situation hits home and the fear of supporting herself starts to sink in...

 

Her older sister got a divorce last year because she caught her husband cheating. She took what was hers and left him with what was his. I just hope my soon to be ex has the decency to do the same. Like I said, it’s in our culture. She even said she wouldn’t dare try to take what’s not hers. I think she knows word will spread fast in our asian community and it will destroy her and her family even if they are in NY.

Edited March 5, 2019 by Willski
Grammar

[Turning point]

As long as she doesn’t know that and as long as she doesn’t wise up until everything is finalized, he’s doing the best thing by taking his attoney’s advice and ‘playing nice’.

 

I don't know where they are located but, if the divorce proceeds with her relying solely on HIS attorney that could be grounds to modify the settlement even after the divorce is final. So, while I agree "playing nice" could work out for him, it's not a fool-proof strategy since nothing in divorce ever really is.

[stillafool]

I just hope my soon to be ex has the decency to do the same. Like I said, it’s in our culture. She even said she wouldn’t dare try to take what’s not hers. I think she knows word will spread fast in our asian community and it will destroy her and her family even if they are in NY.

 

Decency? You know she has none of that by her actions with other man. If I were you I wouldn't care what her family thinks of her. I don't know how you can live with her and look at her every day.

[Willski]

I don't know where they are located but, if the divorce proceeds with her relying solely on HIS attorney that could be grounds to modify the settlement even after the divorce is final. So, while I agree "playing nice" could work out for him, it's not a fool-proof strategy since nothing in divorce ever really is.

 

I am in Texas. We are doing an uncontested divorce.

[Willski]

Decency? You know she has none of that by her actions with other man. If I were you I wouldn't care what her family thinks of her. I don't know how you can live with her and look at her every day.

 

That is what is killing me. Then she starts playing the poor sad, crying girl thing.

[bathtub-row]

That is what is killing me. Then she starts playing the poor sad, crying girl thing.

 

So what? She lied to you for 5 years - every single day - and pushed you away when you wanted to be intimate with her. She deserves everything she gets now. I’d tell her cry her heart out and that I hope she learned her lesson for the next sucker who’s unlucky enough to be in her life.

[doyathinkso]

So what? She lied to you for 5 years - every single day - and pushed you away when you wanted to be intimate with her. She deserves everything she gets now. I’d tell her cry her heart out and that I hope she learned her lesson for the next sucker who’s unlucky enough to be in her life.

 

 

 

 

Just in case you didn't read this the first time.

[Marc878]

That is what is killing me. Then she starts playing the poor sad, crying girl thing.

 

Regret at getting caught. So what?

[Willski]

Regret at getting caught. So what?

 

No. I mean having to hear the drama till the D is finalized. She has been hinting bout moving out and hope she does soon.

[Willski]

So what? She lied to you for 5 years - every single day - and pushed you away when you wanted to be intimate with her. She deserves everything she gets now. I’d tell her cry her heart out and that I hope she learned her lesson for the next sucker who’s unlucky enough to be in her life.

 

I told her that as well. “For 5yrs you lied to my face and played a game with our marriage. I hope you learn your lesson for the next guy”. She kept telling me that she has never cheated before (I knew that she was always the one being cheated on with her passed boyfriends). I guess She thought she can try out being the cheater this time around. I told her I hope it was worth it since it cost her, her marriage and now has to work more hours so she can move out and support herself.

[Marc878]

This is her 1st time cheating and she only did it for 5 years? I guess in cheater logic that makes it ok? Not

 

Let her be someone else's problem.

 

Cut as much contact as possible

[stillafool]

I told her I hope it was worth it since it cost her, her marriage and now has to work more hours so she can move out and support herself.

 

I wouldn't tell her these things if I were you until she's moved out and the divorce is final. This could backfire.

[elaine567]

I don't know where they are located but, if the divorce proceeds with her relying solely on HIS attorney that could be grounds to modify the settlement even after the divorce is final. So, while I agree "playing nice" could work out for him, it's not a fool-proof strategy since nothing in divorce ever really is.

 

Yes I think the OP needs to assume his wife will at some point want her legal half share.

Whatever the morals of the case, she will be "poor" and will need every cent she can get.

[Willski]

Just an update... my lawyer said we can set a court date for the divorce finalization after April 10th. Fingers crossed, I hope everything will be going smooth.

[bathtub-row]

Well, I’m never one to rejoice over a divorce but this one is much-needed. I hope all goes smoothly.

[standtall]

Just an update... my lawyer said we can set a court date for the divorce finalization after April 10th. Fingers crossed, I hope everything will be going smooth.

 

Good job sticking to your guns. You will find someone better and loyal...they do exist.

[Twisted Up]

She kept telling me that she has never cheated before (I knew that she was always the one being cheated on with her passed boyfriends).

 

 

...........................................

[mark clemson]

Hope it goes as well as can be expected and that you are able to move on with your life soon...

[michzz]

 

My wife and I planed to have children in two years and she wants 3-4 kids all a year apart. Is she some psycho planning a life with me and having another secret life??

 

Yes! Do not have children with this very dishonest person.

 

Time for a divorce.

[usa1ah]

So what? She lied to you for 5 years - every single day - and pushed you away when you wanted to be intimate with her. She deserves everything she gets now. I’d tell her cry her heart out and that I hope she learned her lesson for the next sucker who’s unlucky enough to be in her life.

 

Great post???

[Try]

I am in Texas. We are doing an uncontested divorce.

Under Texas divorce law, adultery can greatly impact how the court decides both alimony and property division. Although in Texas you can file for a “no-fault” divorce, to protect yourself from her coming back at you later claiming that she did not have legal representation, you may want to file for divorce based on adultery. If you told your lawyer about her cheating, I am surprised that your lawyer did not discuss this with you. Although you will need to show proof of the affair, the court will not expect you to prove that sexual intercourse actually happened, as long as you can show circumstantial evidence. The judge will not buy the lies that cheaters feed their spouses, as they have heard it all before. Edited March 26, 2019 by Try

[Willski]

Under Texas divorce law, adultery can greatly impact how the court decides both alimony and property division. Although in Texas you can file for a “no-fault” divorce, to protect yourself from her coming back at you later claiming that she did not have legal representation, you may want to file for divorce based on adultery. If you told your lawyer about her cheating, I am surprised that your lawyer did not discuss this with you. Although you will need to show proof of the affair, the court will not expect you to prove that sexual intercourse actually happened, as long as you can show circumstantial evidence. The judge will not buy the lies that cheaters feed their spouses, as they have heard it all before.

 

I told my lawyer that I found out she had a long term affair and that is why I want a divorce. My lawyer just advised me to do uncontested divorce since she is willing to let me have everything I paid for, house, cars, and my money. She signed the final decree of divorce with clauses stating I keep the house, and my money. One car is under my name and the car I bought her is still financed so all I have to do is refinance under my name only. She even signed the deed of trust for my house. If we did a divorce due to adultery she would have to lawyer up and she will still get a piece of my cake. All in all it’s like I keep what’s mine, she keeps what’s hers. Fingers crosssed.