stillafool Posted April 26, 2019 Posted April 26, 2019 I didn’t buy the story, I just didn’t want have hard evidence. But yeah always always listen to your instincts. Why wouldn't you want hard evidence of her cheating? You should insist she go home to her parents. It is not your responsibility to make sure she completes school. Let her transfer to her home town and finish nursing school. You owe her nothing. She was never in love with you and the only reason she wants to reconcile is to have someone take care of her. Tell her to ask her boss to do it.
stillafool Posted April 26, 2019 Posted April 26, 2019 (edited) I just hope she doesn't leave you desolate. Some women are just crazy... Girl at my graduate school is engaged but is flirting with me on the daily. Gave me her number and all that. I feel bad for the guy. Anyways, keep your head up, you're better than that. Cut her out ASAP. It's easier said than done, but it's the truth. Even if she does come back and you let her, it won't work out. Not with what you know now. It's an epidemic. My friend's daughter is due to get married in June and is having an affair with another man. My friend is trying to get her to cancel the wedding and come clean. Edited April 26, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed commercial link 1
Author Willski Posted May 6, 2019 Author Posted May 6, 2019 My divorce was finalized May 2nd. I keep my money, my cars and my house. She wanted to work things out but understood that that she destroyed everything and just wanted me to be happy. Hopefully she will not file an appeal, less than 30 days to go till everything is set in stone. I put my older brother as beneficiary for my term life insurance and told him, “just make sure you burry me! Lol” 5
bigman1 Posted May 7, 2019 Posted May 7, 2019 (edited) Fantastic news. Check to make sure that she is off everything like emergency contact, survivors benefits for other things. Seriously do a full sweep to make sure she is off EVERYTHING. You'd be amazed at what she might be listed on. Insurance agent told me about an ex wife who showed up and claimed money as she was listed on, I think it was, an annuity or some sort of investment deal. It may have been a bond. Told to me about 5 years ago, so memory fails, but lesson was learned. Swooped in got the money and ran. Do a deep scan. Edited May 7, 2019 by bigman1 clean up
mark clemson Posted May 7, 2019 Posted May 7, 2019 Good for you that you got what you felt was a fair outcome. Hope you are continuing to make progress emotionally as well and that this helps to bring some additional closure for you. 1
Clay Posted May 7, 2019 Posted May 7, 2019 Good for you. I think you were right to turn her away on the chance to reconcile. I doubt seriously after having a 5 year affair she learned overnight how to be a faithful woman. C
truf Posted May 8, 2019 Posted May 8, 2019 Keep us updated. Also, destroy them both when it's really finalized. I might be vengeful, but being manipulated and cheated on for 5 years (meeting 15 times is a lie, it'll probably be at least 15 times a year) is terrible. And since it's the truth, why shouldn't anyone else know? It's the right thing to do, haha. Everyone deserves to know the truth Anyway, hope you're doing well and that the divorce will be finalized how you want it to.
Author Willski Posted June 16, 2019 Author Posted June 16, 2019 Quick update. 30days passed my divorce and everything is final and set in stone. No appeal from my ex wife. I keep my house, money and cars. I’m doing better and Will focus on myself for a little bit. 7
mark clemson Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 Congrats on the divorce working out well at least. 1
Buffer Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 Quick update. 30days passed my divorce and everything is final and set in stone. No appeal from my ex wife. I keep my house, money and cars. I’m doing better and Will focus on myself for a little bit. Congratulations for this as long as it is what you want. All the best for your new life.
Author Willski Posted June 17, 2019 Author Posted June 17, 2019 Has she been still trying to get you back? She kept asking me to withdraw our divorce. she kept telling me she made a mistake and she was meant to spend the rest of her life with me if I would let her. She cried all day when it was final. And She keeps telling me that she was just fooled by the other man. He was married and she knew it. I don’t want to look back when I’m old and remember what she did to me, so I knew I was out. 1
Clay Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 If she really loved you the way she is talking to you now that affair would have never lasted five years. She would have ended it as soon as it started. I think what your seeing now is her fear of really just being alone. I am sure a good part of the reason I stayed with my Serial cheating xW was just because of that and our children. Your right about looking back. Its been twelve years since our divorce and I am still distraught over how long I stayed with her. It just eats me up inside of how stupid I was for letting her destroy me like that. I think its just going to take me more time. You at least can move on with your life knowing you did the right thing once you were made aware of what had happened. I wouldn't be mean to her. I would just wish her the best in her life and encourage her to go learn why she cheated and get help with that before she enters into another relationship. That's the best anyone could hope for in my mind. My xW is still a complete flake and cheater. Some people you cant help. I am glad this is finally over with for you. Keep one thing in mind. You stayed faithful to her. That is something to be proud of. Stay strong. C
michzz Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 (edited) She kept asking me to withdraw our divorce. she kept telling me she made a mistake and she was meant to spend the rest of her life with me if I would let her. She cried all day when it was final. And She keeps telling me that she was just fooled by the other man. He was married and she knew it. I don’t want to look back when I’m old and remember what she did to me, so I knew I was out. Even now she blame shifts. My ex-wife who infected me with HPV that has caused a throat cancer, said that same kind of crap as we divorced. Her affair was most of a decade. It is an extremely deliberate and hostile thing to do, to cheat for such a long time. Crocodile tears is all she is shedding. Move on glad you are free of her betrayal. And do get tested for STIs, make sure she didn't give you a disease. Edited June 17, 2019 by michzz
healing light Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 Wow, I think this is the most smooth/fastest divorce I have read of on these boards. Amazed at your resolve. A multi-year affair sounds so painful... My ex-wife who infected me with HPV that has caused a throat cancer, said that same kind of crap as we divorced. Her affair was most of a decade. I agree that you should get checked for STIs to be on the safe side. Side note: keep in mind that they do not test men for HPV, so there's no way to know you have it unless you are symptomatic. Most are not. A man can walk around with clean STD results and continue spreading HPV to his partners. It can express many years or decades later, which means you can't necessarily blame your current partner for it unless you were never sexually active with anyone else prior to your marriage. Even though it's extremely common, doctors don't even regularly test women for it unless their pap smear comes back irregular. How are you coping emotionally? 1
Marc878 Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 She kept asking me to withdraw our divorce. she kept telling me she made a mistake and she was meant to spend the rest of her life with me if I would let her. She cried all day when it was final. And She keeps telling me that she was just fooled by the other man. He was married and she knew it. I don’t want to look back when I’m old and remember what she did to me, so I knew I was out. Nope, she knew exactly what she was doing. They all think a second chance is guaranteed 1
michzz Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 Side note: keep in mind that they do not test men for HPV, so there's no way to know you have it unless you are symptomatic. Most are not. A man can walk around with clean STD results and continue spreading HPV to his partners. It can express many years or decades later, which means you can't necessarily blame your current partner for it unless you were never sexually active with anyone else prior to your marriage. Not to thread jack, but when I was diagnosed with the cancer, they did a throat biopsy and confirmed that my ex had given me HPV--two strains, many years before it erupted in cancer. Routine STI screening won't find it
Mrs._December Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 She kept asking me to withdraw our divorce. she kept telling me she made a mistake and she was meant to spend the rest of her life with me if I would let her. She cried all day when it was final. And She keeps telling me that she was just fooled by the other man. He was married and she knew it. I don’t want to look back when I’m old and remember what she did to me, so I knew I was out. Gosh, I want SO badly to run and get my crying towel so I can commiserate with this poor, heartbroken creature. Not. Smartest decision EVER dumping this cheating, lying, manipulative POS, Willski. You know what they say - "leave a cheater, gain a life." Good for you. 3
stillafool Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 (edited) She kept asking me to withdraw our divorce. she kept telling me she made a mistake and she was meant to spend the rest of her life with me if I would let her. She cried all day when it was final. And She keeps telling me that she was just fooled by the other man. He was married and she knew it. I don’t want to look back when I’m old and remember what she did to me, so I knew I was out. So glad you're on the other side of your pain and are moving forward. You did the right thing because you would never be able to get over the deceit of 5 years of your life with someone who you thought was your best friend and life partner. The other man did not fool her she's a grown woman and knew exactly what she was getting into. Maybe if it happened once but 5 years of cheating without blinking an eye and still not taking responsibility for what she did; but is now blaming it solely on the OM. Did his wife find out? I hope so. The good news is there are plenty of women who are faithful and would love to have a man like you so no worries about that. I admire you for being strong enough to walk away. If you haven't already, please get tested for STIs. Edited June 18, 2019 by stillafool 1
Author Willski Posted August 2, 2019 Author Posted August 2, 2019 STD test came back all negative. I am in the clear. Trying to get back up and gonna build the courage up to go out and meet someone. July 27th I traded in the 2013 4Runner Limited that I bought for ex wife. I got myself a new 2019 4Runner TRD Pro. I asked her to sign the paperwork at the dealer since it was under both our names, but I paid for. She asked me “your buying a new car?” I said yeah “I don’t want to be reminded of you when I drive the old one.” I guess I am very lucky to get to keep my house, money and cars. Now I just have to find the one... 4
Clay Posted August 2, 2019 Posted August 2, 2019 Good for you. I would have told her the same thing. The truth needs to be said. There is nothing wrong with being honest. Its hard for me to understand when people cheat they are surprised they don't get a second chance. If the house is next on the list I would work my way in that direction next. Just smile when you drive your new SUV around. Nothing better than starting over. I just paid off my Camaro and I am already thinking of selling it and giving a serious hard look at that new corvette. I would have never had any of those choices in my life had I stayed married to my xW. Life is better when you invest in you.
Buffer Posted August 4, 2019 Posted August 4, 2019 She kept asking me to withdraw our divorce. she kept telling me she made a mistake and she was meant to spend the rest of her life with me if I would let her. She cried all day when it was final. And She keeps telling me that she was just fooled by the other man. He was married and she knew it. I don’t want to look back when I’m old and remember what she did to me, so I knew I was out. Well time to move forward Yes it is sad when D is finalised, when one of the parties want R. Yet it is what both parties want or need to move forward. In her mind it was a five year mistake, she was fooled and or manipulated for five years by a well off married man. I think not. Five years of lying, five years of thinking of how to meet him over you, five years of denial of what the marriage needed so to preference her needs with MM. Her tears are real, but for her stature in her family, as well as what she lost. You are both young, time to move fwd, find a new partner to share you life with. Learn from the past, to look at the future. Your ExWW had five years to stop what she was undertaking, to move towards R. She chose not to. She new of the consequences of the A. Due to her family history. Good luck.
Turning point Posted August 5, 2019 Posted August 5, 2019 Ultimately, it's not the affair that forces us apart. Its the deception, and five years is a level of deception that few people could abide. Five years is not a mistake - it's a sustained effort and we know that intuitively. Even if we can get past the sexual component of the affair, we can almost never get past the personality traits laid bare by the deception. 1
Dimjo9 Posted January 27, 2020 Posted January 27, 2020 On 3/4/2019 at 7:57 AM, Willski said: I’ve been married 6yrs and My wife had a 5yr affair with her old boss that is 18yrs older than her I am 34 and she is 31 now. She used to work as his nanny and she said he would always tell her she was beautiful, one in a million, and that he would leave his family and marry her. She said they had sex once at his house while she was working as his naany and quit after it happened. At first I thought something was off because she would have texts late at night and would hide her phone under her pillow when she slept, but never had any hard evidence. She would say it was his 8yr old daughter texting her but I would counter with at 12mn on a school night? Then when she quit she would have some comparisons with how I am and her old boss was. “Oh mr.x would always throw away clutter, mr.x doesn’t buy new cars, mr.x doesn’t doesn’t have a 75” tv. After a while I would always say “why are you mr.x’s girlfriend??” And she would say “ew that old guy gross”. On Jan.18th we were home and she said the hospital called her to come in, so I asked her if we can get intimate before she left and she said ok just make it quick. Quite a surprise to me since we only get intimate once a month or once every 6 weeks and everythime I initiate she would 95% of the time get mad and say she is tired for the passed 4yrs. She would never initiate. So come Jan.19th she leaves her phone on the counter while she takes a shower. My instincts tell me to look in her phone. I look through her texts and calls, nothing out of the ordinary. I look at her pictures I found a selfie Jan.18th 1:30pm waring hospital scrubs and little makeup, then another selfie at 4pm full makeup, dangling earrings and date outfit. I go through her email inbox and nothing. I look in her email sent box and I find all the emails she sent him backed all the way to August 2018. Last email she sent him was on Jan.19th 8am “it was nice seeing you too honey. Hope you feel better. Enjoy hunting this weekend. Mwah!”. I saw emails 3 emails where she asked him to make love to her and she even sent 3 nude photos to him. When I confronted her she denied until I showed her her emails (I took screen shots). Now she said she just liked the attention and they only met about 15 times since it started. Mr.x is very busy being a Vice President of a big company. Now she wants to reconcile and move on saying it was a big mistake and she has never done anything like this before. I knew her a long time and all her ex’s (5) just took advantage of her and disappeared. She was a really nice person, would never risk anything. Doesn’t drink, go to clubs or stay out late, perfect goody two shoes girl. So I wanted to be the man to treat her right. We we’re together 3yrs before I asked her to marry me, so I knew her quite well even before dating. I filed for divorce and she signed paperwork stating I keep our house, my money and my cars my lawyer drawer up. I pay for everything. She only pays for groceries. Now she wants to reconcile and move forward. She really scared me because I thought I knew her 100% and now I find out she had another side to her I never knew. And the capability of the other side scares me. She says it was a mistake and regets ever cheating on me. It hurts to know she would always push me away but emailed the OM for sex. I told the OMs wife about it and she asked me to text and email her all the screen shots I took. She is a CFO at a very big hospital in my city. I feel lost and scared of being a lone again. Before her I was in a relationship for 9yrs and was engaged. And my wife and I have been together for 9yrs total as well. My wife and I planed to have children in two years and she wants 3-4 kids all a year apart. Is she some psycho planning a life with me and having another secret life?? Hi Wilski, Get out of the marriage while you still can.. the longer you stay, her grip on you will be so tight.. She knows your weak & easily persuaded.. If you want to stay with her, your life will be like a cuckold H (sorry for the word).. This will be forever or you rather be hurt, feel the pain but will be able to move forward.. We got only 1 life in the end you can’t rewind this or like a movie re-shoot the scene. Your W is mistress of Mr X, telling his wife won’t matter.. She probably knows & accepted it.. as long as H goes home every night “who cares”.. i will share an excerpt from INVICTUS “ i am the master of my faith, captain of my soul”.. YOU CHOOSE YOUR PATH - cuckold H for life or move forward & enjoy life..
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