Turning point Posted March 5, 2019 Posted March 5, 2019 As long as she doesn’t know that and as long as she doesn’t wise up until everything is finalized, he’s doing the best thing by taking his attoney’s advice and ‘playing nice’. I don't know where they are located but, if the divorce proceeds with her relying solely on HIS attorney that could be grounds to modify the settlement even after the divorce is final. So, while I agree "playing nice" could work out for him, it's not a fool-proof strategy since nothing in divorce ever really is.
stillafool Posted March 5, 2019 Posted March 5, 2019 I just hope my soon to be ex has the decency to do the same. Like I said, it’s in our culture. She even said she wouldn’t dare try to take what’s not hers. I think she knows word will spread fast in our asian community and it will destroy her and her family even if they are in NY. Decency? You know she has none of that by her actions with other man. If I were you I wouldn't care what her family thinks of her. I don't know how you can live with her and look at her every day.
Author Willski Posted March 5, 2019 Author Posted March 5, 2019 I don't know where they are located but, if the divorce proceeds with her relying solely on HIS attorney that could be grounds to modify the settlement even after the divorce is final. So, while I agree "playing nice" could work out for him, it's not a fool-proof strategy since nothing in divorce ever really is. I am in Texas. We are doing an uncontested divorce. 1
Author Willski Posted March 5, 2019 Author Posted March 5, 2019 Decency? You know she has none of that by her actions with other man. If I were you I wouldn't care what her family thinks of her. I don't know how you can live with her and look at her every day. That is what is killing me. Then she starts playing the poor sad, crying girl thing.
bathtub-row Posted March 5, 2019 Posted March 5, 2019 That is what is killing me. Then she starts playing the poor sad, crying girl thing. So what? She lied to you for 5 years - every single day - and pushed you away when you wanted to be intimate with her. She deserves everything she gets now. I’d tell her cry her heart out and that I hope she learned her lesson for the next sucker who’s unlucky enough to be in her life. 4
doyathinkso Posted March 5, 2019 Posted March 5, 2019 So what? She lied to you for 5 years - every single day - and pushed you away when you wanted to be intimate with her. She deserves everything she gets now. I’d tell her cry her heart out and that I hope she learned her lesson for the next sucker who’s unlucky enough to be in her life. Just in case you didn't read this the first time. 1
Marc878 Posted March 5, 2019 Posted March 5, 2019 That is what is killing me. Then she starts playing the poor sad, crying girl thing. Regret at getting caught. So what? 2
Author Willski Posted March 6, 2019 Author Posted March 6, 2019 Regret at getting caught. So what? No. I mean having to hear the drama till the D is finalized. She has been hinting bout moving out and hope she does soon. 2
Author Willski Posted March 6, 2019 Author Posted March 6, 2019 So what? She lied to you for 5 years - every single day - and pushed you away when you wanted to be intimate with her. She deserves everything she gets now. I’d tell her cry her heart out and that I hope she learned her lesson for the next sucker who’s unlucky enough to be in her life. I told her that as well. “For 5yrs you lied to my face and played a game with our marriage. I hope you learn your lesson for the next guy”. She kept telling me that she has never cheated before (I knew that she was always the one being cheated on with her passed boyfriends). I guess She thought she can try out being the cheater this time around. I told her I hope it was worth it since it cost her, her marriage and now has to work more hours so she can move out and support herself. 1
Marc878 Posted March 6, 2019 Posted March 6, 2019 This is her 1st time cheating and she only did it for 5 years? I guess in cheater logic that makes it ok? Not Let her be someone else's problem. Cut as much contact as possible 1
stillafool Posted March 6, 2019 Posted March 6, 2019 I told her I hope it was worth it since it cost her, her marriage and now has to work more hours so she can move out and support herself. I wouldn't tell her these things if I were you until she's moved out and the divorce is final. This could backfire. 1
elaine567 Posted March 6, 2019 Posted March 6, 2019 I don't know where they are located but, if the divorce proceeds with her relying solely on HIS attorney that could be grounds to modify the settlement even after the divorce is final. So, while I agree "playing nice" could work out for him, it's not a fool-proof strategy since nothing in divorce ever really is. Yes I think the OP needs to assume his wife will at some point want her legal half share. Whatever the morals of the case, she will be "poor" and will need every cent she can get.
Author Willski Posted March 26, 2019 Author Posted March 26, 2019 Just an update... my lawyer said we can set a court date for the divorce finalization after April 10th. Fingers crossed, I hope everything will be going smooth. 1
bathtub-row Posted March 26, 2019 Posted March 26, 2019 Well, I’m never one to rejoice over a divorce but this one is much-needed. I hope all goes smoothly. 1
standtall Posted March 26, 2019 Posted March 26, 2019 Just an update... my lawyer said we can set a court date for the divorce finalization after April 10th. Fingers crossed, I hope everything will be going smooth. Good job sticking to your guns. You will find someone better and loyal...they do exist. 1
Twisted Up Posted March 26, 2019 Posted March 26, 2019 She kept telling me that she has never cheated before (I knew that she was always the one being cheated on with her passed boyfriends). ...........................................
mark clemson Posted March 26, 2019 Posted March 26, 2019 Hope it goes as well as can be expected and that you are able to move on with your life soon...
michzz Posted March 26, 2019 Posted March 26, 2019 My wife and I planed to have children in two years and she wants 3-4 kids all a year apart. Is she some psycho planning a life with me and having another secret life?? Yes! Do not have children with this very dishonest person. Time for a divorce.
usa1ah Posted March 26, 2019 Posted March 26, 2019 So what? She lied to you for 5 years - every single day - and pushed you away when you wanted to be intimate with her. She deserves everything she gets now. I’d tell her cry her heart out and that I hope she learned her lesson for the next sucker who’s unlucky enough to be in her life. Great post 3
Try Posted March 26, 2019 Posted March 26, 2019 (edited) I am in Texas. We are doing an uncontested divorce.Under Texas divorce law, adultery can greatly impact how the court decides both alimony and property division. Although in Texas you can file for a “no-fault” divorce, to protect yourself from her coming back at you later claiming that she did not have legal representation, you may want to file for divorce based on adultery. If you told your lawyer about her cheating, I am surprised that your lawyer did not discuss this with you. Although you will need to show proof of the affair, the court will not expect you to prove that sexual intercourse actually happened, as long as you can show circumstantial evidence. The judge will not buy the lies that cheaters feed their spouses, as they have heard it all before. Edited March 26, 2019 by Try 1
Author Willski Posted March 29, 2019 Author Posted March 29, 2019 Under Texas divorce law, adultery can greatly impact how the court decides both alimony and property division. Although in Texas you can file for a “no-fault” divorce, to protect yourself from her coming back at you later claiming that she did not have legal representation, you may want to file for divorce based on adultery. If you told your lawyer about her cheating, I am surprised that your lawyer did not discuss this with you. Although you will need to show proof of the affair, the court will not expect you to prove that sexual intercourse actually happened, as long as you can show circumstantial evidence. The judge will not buy the lies that cheaters feed their spouses, as they have heard it all before. I told my lawyer that I found out she had a long term affair and that is why I want a divorce. My lawyer just advised me to do uncontested divorce since she is willing to let me have everything I paid for, house, cars, and my money. She signed the final decree of divorce with clauses stating I keep the house, and my money. One car is under my name and the car I bought her is still financed so all I have to do is refinance under my name only. She even signed the deed of trust for my house. If we did a divorce due to adultery she would have to lawyer up and she will still get a piece of my cake. All in all it’s like I keep what’s mine, she keeps what’s hers. Fingers crosssed. 3
aliveagain Posted March 30, 2019 Posted March 30, 2019 Listen to your lawyer, get all you can so you can build your new life. You are no longer responsible for her. Thank God you found out who she really is before you had children with her. The other man is open game, after your divorce he needs to be exposed so he learns his lesson(place of worship, his family, his business). 1
Author Willski Posted April 1, 2019 Author Posted April 1, 2019 Under Texas divorce law, adultery can greatly impact how the court decides both alimony and property division. Although in Texas you can file for a “no-fault” divorce, to protect yourself from her coming back at you later claiming that she did not have legal representation, you may want to file for divorce based on adultery. If you told your lawyer about her cheating, I am surprised that your lawyer did not discuss this with you. Although you will need to show proof of the affair, the court will not expect you to prove that sexual intercourse actually happened, as long as you can show circumstantial evidence. The judge will not buy the lies that cheaters feed their spouses, as they have heard it all before. My lawyer advices me to do uncontested divorce since she is willing to let me keep my house and money. She signed divorce decree with clauses stating I keep my house and money. She also signed a deed of trust for my house. Plan B would be divorce on grounds of adultery, but she would lawyer up and for sure we will split assets and properties. Even if I get a bigger cut, she still gets a piece of the cake.
pepperbird Posted April 2, 2019 Posted April 2, 2019 Op, I echo the advice of others to be on your guard. Once the dust settles a bit, your soon to be ex wife may well decide to lawyer up too, and it could get nasty. I suspect she signed the document out of guilt, but guilt eventually wears off. It will be replaced with the same selfish behavior that led to her affair.
Mauser96 Posted April 26, 2019 Posted April 26, 2019 (edited) I just hope she doesn't leave you desolate. Some women are just crazy... Girl at my graduate school is engaged but is flirting with me on the daily. Gave me her number and all that. I feel bad for the guy. Anyways, keep your head up, you're better than that. Cut her out ASAP. It's easier said than done, but it's the truth. Even if she does come back and you let her, it won't work out. Not with what you know now. Edited April 26, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed commercial link 1
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