My girlfriend wants 50% of my business

[bathtub-row]

As a successful businessman once told me, “Partners are dead weight.”

 

Having said that, if the two of you were married, it wouldn’t matter and she wouldn’t be considered dead weight. However, as a gf, you would be completely out of your mind to entrust part of your business to her. And she’s nuts for demanding it and making you feel bad about it.

 

You’ll find that whenever you succeed, many will attempt to either take away what you have or make you feel bad about it. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about what you worked so hard for. If I were with a guy in that position, I wouldn’t even dream of telling him what your gf is telling you. She’s completely out of line doing that.

 

If I were you, I’d let her know - in no uncertain terms - that I’m the sole owner of the business and it will remain that way. If she doesn’t like that, I’d tell her to take a hike.

[Whodatdog]

Both My girlfriend and I are artists. I have been an artist for over 13 years, I have a full-time job as a paralegal, on the side I paint, am the curator of a art gallery, sell my work, and have made quite a name for myself locally. My dream has always been to quit my fulltime job and start up my own art gallery and live life as an artist.

 

I recently got into a relationship 1.5 years ago. She is also an artist but not as well known as I am but very talented. I want to start up a gallery now that I came into some money. I have shared the idea with my girlfriend and she seemed excited about it. I have a full-time job and she is a full-time artist. Financially I pay all the bills at home because she does not work, but she will help out here and there whenever she can. I have purchased approximately $2,000 worth of furniture and supplies for the business and she has chipped in approximately $300 on her end to buy things for the gallery as well.

 

I will be coming into some retirement money and will be using it all to purchase the building, construction etc. and she will be helping with her ideas and physical efforts around the gallery. Just recently we got into an argument because she brought up the fact that so wanted to be a 50% partner (on paper) in the business because she feels that she will be putting her heart, soul, efforts and time into the business. Is it fair for her to ask for that? And is it wrong or selfish of me to not want to do that? I feel that we both will be benefiting off of the business, especially since she does not work and continue to be a full-time artist through the gallery. But I feel I have more to lose if for any reason we were to break up.

 

She is making me feel guilty because she is now saying that I do not trust her and that she will be making a sacrifice living in the gallery with me until the business gets on its feet. I don't feel that I need a business partner but at the same time I do want her help. What should I do?

 

It seems you are doing the same as the bolded, plus putting your entire financial future in it. Can she even support herself without you paying all the bills?

 

Seems pretty one sided to me. Its all well and good to put your "heart and soul" into a business, but if you arent making any money, its simply a hobby.

[JPerez2781]

Thank you so much for your advice. I'll be completely honest with you, I offered her 40% and she rejected it. So, with her response and what you have advised me on this thread, I see where her intentions lie.

 

I never said I was not going to pay her for her efforts. as a matter of fact, I offered her 40% and she rejected it!

Edited February 21, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Merge

[JuneL]

Thank you so much for your advice. I'll be completely honest with you, I offered her 40% and she rejected it. So, with her response and what you have advised me on this thread, I see where her intentions lie.

 

40% was way way too much, considering she can’t even support herself working fulltime with her “talent”. Why were you okay with taking over this financial burden from her parents? I’m all for pursuing your dreams, but you don’t do this at the expense of others. You yourself have had to work hard as a paralegal to support yourself and save money to make your dreams come true.

[Art_Critic]

If you marry her she would want 100% in the divorce...

 

Be careful with people that want something for nothing at your own expense, it is a never ending well

[elaine567]

I never said I was not going to pay her for her efforts. as a matter of fact' date=' I offered her 40% and she rejected it![/quote']

I know if we tot up pure figures then she has no case, but this is also a relationship and I can kind of see her point.

She doesn't want to be at a disadvantage - "the junior partner", the 40% stake, the one with little or no say in the business, the one who has always has to defer to you.

Whilst that situation may be fine for more "traditional" women, it is probably not a dynamic that any woman who believes in equality would like to be in.

 

Also.

Is this the woman you can see yourself marrying and/or growing old with?

If so, then you may not want to ruin things, by squabbling over %s.

If not, then why are you even considering going into business with her? It could get very messy, slighted ex lovers I guess make very bad business partners.

[Whodatdog]

She rejected 40%?? Then offer her 30% and tell her its your final offer. Maybe its also time for her to start paying half of her living expenses.

[JuneL]

If being en equal partner is important to her, she should go into business with someone of her equal (capital, caliber). As simple as that.

 

I know if we tot up pure figures then she has no case, but this is also a relationship and I can kind of see her point.

She doesn't want to be at a disadvantage - "the junior partner", the 40% stake, the one with little or no say in the business, the one who has always has to defer to you. <snip>

Edited February 21, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[ChatroomHero]

I know if we tot up pure figures then she has no case, but this is also a relationship and I can kind of see her point.

She doesn't want to be at a disadvantage - "the junior partner", the 40% stake, the one with little or no say in the business, the one who has always has to defer to you. Whilst that situation may be fine for more "traditional" women, it is probably not a dynamic that any woman who believes in equality would like to be in.

Umm, "equality" is not having a partner putting up say, $50K of his or her money and the other one putting up $300 and getting equal ownership. Do you think a man wants to be in business with a woman where the man pays the bills and sacrifices his life savings and 'heart and sole' and the woman sacrifices ONLY her 'heart and sole'?

 

I don't think we have the same definition of "equal" here. It seems your definition of equal is a guy gets money to start a business and the woman is automatically entitled to half without any risk just because she is dating him.

 

I am not sure why you would think any woman "who believes in equality" would think investing $300 versus $ thousands would find that to be equal. In fact, it is the very definition of inequality. That would mean she wants an equal outcome for an unequal effort and risk. It doesn't work like that when it's your own money and livelihood is on the line.

Edited February 21, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Fix spacing

[JuneL]

^^^ Well said. No woman who wants to be an equal partner would not be ashamed having her boyfriend pay all her bills.

[bathtub-row]

You need to not offer her anything beyond a salary for hours worked. End of story. Ask anyone with a successful business and they’ll tell you that they’re continually bombarded by offers to bring on a partner or somehow get a piece of the action. If you’re going to own a business, you’re going to need to get this cemented in your way of thinking - that no one gets it unless they pay you a huge sum to buy you out. A spouse is a different thing but your gf is not your spouse. And if she ever does become your spouse, let’s all hope you don’t divorce because the writing is on the wall.

 

You know, if someone I was dating said those things to me about my business, he would be greatly diminished in my eyes. Your gf has an entitlement attitude and that’s a very slippery slope.

[d0nnivain]

Thank you so much for your advice. I'll be completely honest with you, I offered her 40% and she rejected it. So, with her response and what you have advised me on this thread, I see where her intentions lie.

 

I never said I was not going to pay her for her efforts. as a matter of fact, I offered her 40% and she rejected it!

 

 

Now you know she's greedy. Better to learn up front.

[elaine567]

Umm, "equality" is not having a partner putting up say, $50K of his or her money and the other one putting up $300 and getting equal ownership. Do you think a man wants to be in business with a woman where the man pays the bills and sacrifices his life savings and 'heart and sole soul' and the woman sacrifices ONLY her 'heart and sole soul'?

I already said if you look at the numbers they do not stack up and she has no case, but this is not only a business arrangement, this is a relationship.

It is not really just about money. This is about their life moving forward.

He thus has to decide whether he wants to put his faith into the relationship or not, as I guess no 50%, no relationship.

[S2B]

The answer is NO!

 

She hasn’t earned one thing!

 

In fact, have her start supporting HERSELF! Why does she expect more from you without adding in HER share?

 

Pay her back the $300 and pay her an hourly rate for the input she provides based on an agreed amount.

 

Stop allowing her to be entitled and a mooch! Charge her ent, have her pay her own way!

 

Looks like a woman that will only drag you down emotionally and financially.

 

Put a stop to it all before it gets out of hand!

 

In short - she deserves nothing! Zero percent of your business... but offer her an hourly wage that she must document on paper in order to be paid.

 

Be careful... a woman like that is sneaky and will try and find any way to personally benefit from YOUR hard work. Remember, she’s a mooch - strip her from any possibility of mooching off you any further!

 

Set up rules and guidelines that protect you and your future assets.

 

 

Standard answer for ANYTHING she asks for is NO!

 

SHE wants something? SHE should earn it for HERSELF!

[S2B]

Now you know she's greedy. Better to learn up front.

 

Ya, she played her hand... time to fold and end the relationship knowing she will suck the life out of you if you continue.

 

She’s an opportunist - she’s made that clear.

[JuneL]

I already said if you look at the numbers they do not stack up and she has no case, but this is not only a business arrangement, this is a relationship.

It is not really just about money. This is about their life moving forward.

He thus has to decide whether he wants to put his faith into the relationship or not, as I guess no 50%, no relationship.

 

According to your logic, the gf can ask him to give her 50% of his bank account, his retirement fund, and all his assets.

[anika99]

I know if we tot up pure figures then she has no case, but this is also a relationship and I can kind of see her point.

She doesn't want to be at a disadvantage - "the junior partner", the 40% stake, the one with little or no say in the business, the one who has always has to defer to you.

Whilst that situation may be fine for more "traditional" women, it is probably not a dynamic that any woman who believes in equality would like to be in.

 

Also.

Is this the woman you can see yourself marrying and/or growing old with?

If so, then you may not want to ruin things, by squabbling over %s.

If not, then why are you even considering going into business with her? It could get very messy, slighted ex lovers I guess make very bad business partners.

 

Huh? So women who believe in equality should be demanding 1/2 of their boyfriends business? That's a new one to me. I would think a woman who believes in equality would not think it's okay to let their boyfriend support then while they make ridiculous demands.

 

You seriously believe that it makes sense for the OP to give his gf of less than 2 yrs an equal share in his business. She could dump him in a few months and totally destroy him but you think that's okay because his gf is not some old fuddy duddy traditional woman. No she a woman who believes in equality so that makes it okay for her to make unreasonable demands that are not based on equality at all because nothing she has contributed to this relationship has been equal.

[salparadise]

I have a full-time job and she is a full-time artist. Financially I pay all the bills at home because she does not work, but she will help out here and there

 

Just recently we got into an argument because she brought up the fact that so wanted to be a 50% partner (on paper) in the business because she feels that she will be putting her heart, soul, efforts and time into the business. Is it fair for her to ask for that?

 

Oh man, this just isn't how stuff works. The fact that you even have to ask the question tells me that you need a business-financial advisor. Artists often operate on feeling and are notoriously bad at purely rational thinking. Her assumption that this is fair because she will be helping out enthusiastically is absurd.

 

Let's look at a few analogies.... if we were talking about pure cash as opposed to business equity would you be willing to write her a check for half of everything you own, including your retirement money, simply because she's your girlfriend? Of course not.

 

If this were a house valued at say 500k, would you put your girlfriend on the deed because she'll be helping you live there, and offers to help clean and decorate? Of course not.

 

This is no different. It's equivalent to giving her half of everything. She's already getting a free ride, lives her artist lifestyle and doesn't have to work because you're supporting her. Now she's asking for a fifty percent equity stake in your business without putting up a dime. Nobody in their right mind would do that. I don't even have words to express how ridiculous this sounds.

 

I think it's also unfortunate because unless she comes to some realizations with respect to how stuff actually works, she's going to be very unhappy (assuming you don't give away the farm- another analogy). Even if you were getting married you'd still retain your equity in the business as a non-marital asset (not subject to division in case of divorce). If you were to give her fifty percent (on paper), and then you two break up, you'd have to come up with that same fifty percent in cash to buy her out. And that breakup is more probable that you're imagining given the emotional reasoning behind what she apparently believes is fair.

 

From my perspective, she should be supporting your business simply because she's benefiting from it in terms of living rent free and not having to work. You have to set boundaries and quit letting her use the relationship to leverage a free ride. I hope the relationship survives this, but I think it's going to be hard now that she's laid out her terms. I didn't see the word marriage or finance' mentioned anywhere, not that it should change anything with regard to giving away half of your assets.

[JuneL]

Jeff Bezos is currenting dating a woman whom he met for doing some aerial photography for his business. Imagine this woman tells Bezos that, since she’s putting so much time and effort into helping his biz and since she is the gf, she is entitled to 50% of Bezos Amazon stocks.

[bathtub-row]

If I were this potentially starving artist female, I’d count my lucky stars that I could paint in peace while having someone take care of me. And if he opened a business, I’d either be supportive and help out without complaining, since he’s paying for most things, or I’d lay low and keep my mouth shut.

[bathtub-row]

Jeff Bezos is currenting dating a woman whom he met for doing some aerial photography for his business. Imagine this woman tells Bezos that, since she’s putting so much time and effort into helping his biz and since she is the gf, she is entitled to 50% of Bezos Amazon stocks.

 

And, better yet, imagine that he listened to that BS, offered her 40% of the company, and she turned him down. ?

[AMarriedMan]

I am not sure why you would think any woman "who believes in equality" would think investing $300 versus $ thousands would find that to be equal. In fact, it is the very definition of inequality. That would mean she wants an equal outcome for an unequal effort and risk. It doesn't work like that when it's your own money and livelihood is on the line.

 

I guess some are more equal than others ...

[AMarriedMan]

I already said if you look at the numbers they do not stack up and she has no case, but this is not only a business arrangement, this is a relationship.

It is not really just about money. This is about their life moving forward.

He thus has to decide whether he wants to put his faith into the relationship or not, as I guess no 50%, no relationship.

 

It'll be a relationship where he risks a great deal and she risks nothing. Their life will be moving in a totally wrong way if this a precedent for future risk division. OP's GF seems like a very entitled woman.

[AMarriedMan]

Both My girlfriend and I are artists. I have been an artist for over 13 years, I have a full-time job as a paralegal, on the side I paint, am the curator of a art gallery, sell my work, and have made quite a name for myself locally. My dream has always been to quit my fulltime job and start up my own art gallery and live life as an artist.

 

[...]

 

I will be coming into some retirement money and will be using it all to purchase the building, construction etc. and she will be helping with her ideas and physical efforts around the gallery. Just recently we got into an argument because she brought up the fact that so wanted to be a 50% partner (on paper) in the business because she feels that she will be putting her heart, soul, efforts and time into the business. Is it fair for her to ask for that? And is it wrong or selfish of me to not want to do that? I feel that we both will be benefiting off of the business, especially since she does not work and continue to be a full-time artist through the gallery. But I feel I have more to lose if for any reason we were to break up.

 

She is making me feel guilty because she is now saying that I do not trust her and that she will be making a sacrifice living in the gallery with me until the business gets on its feet. I don't feel that I need a business partner but at the same time I do want her help. What should I do?

 

Parasites excel at guilt-tripping. You're already paying nearly all the bills and are planning to put in your RETIREMENT MONEY!!! Your GF is living her dream being a full-time artist while you have a full-time job as a paralegal. Now she wants 50% of the business venture, too! You are dreaming of becoming a full-time artist and gallerist yourself. Never give up for your dreams for some entitled, greedy and selfish woman!

[MsJayne]

You girlfriend sounds like she's looking to ride your coat tails. If you're at retirement age I'll assume she's either the same age or within 10 - 15 years of you. If, at that age, all she's got to contribute is a paltry $300, that's not so much input into overheads as an investment in manipulating you. You say "if for any reason we break up" which means that you know this WILL happen at some stage. Get someone else to help you if you really need help, but don't let an attractive freeloader spoil your retirement plan.