edgygirl Posted February 6, 2019 Share Posted February 6, 2019 I mean... I get a few of the professions are a turn off, but what’s the problem with personal trainers? Also, he ruled out most single women in metropolitan areas with his “living in a really tiny, cluttered, crappy apartment” LOL When all someone writes in their profile is negative stuff, they sound bitter and jaded. Also in his case, not generous. Again, most of us don’t look for a sugar daddy but also don’t want someone who sounds stingy. But that goes with the territory when dating divorced dads with small children. Ha! I don't find that off putting at all! If I were single that is the kind of ad I would responded. Except for the two kids part. I wouldn't want to get serious with anyone who has children that arent already adults themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted February 6, 2019 Share Posted February 6, 2019 I mean... I get a few of the professions are a turn off, but what’s the problem with personal trainers? Also, he ruled out most single women in metropolitan areas with his “living in a really tiny, cluttered, crappy apartment” LOL When all someone writes in their profile is negative stuff, they sound bitter and jaded. Also in his case, not generous. Again, most of us don’t look for a sugar daddy but also don’t want someone who sounds stingy. But that goes with the territory when dating divorced dads with small children. I know a number of personal trainers (due to my husband's prior profession). Out of the ones I know, only one makes a decent living on it (he owns his own gym, has employees etc), all the rest barely make ends meet and are often taking up side jobs etc. Just - not what I *personally* would find ideal - I tend to be compatible with fellow corporate ducks. As for tiny crappy cluttered apartments... I guess I could live with tiny and crappy, but draw the line at cluttered. I hate stuff. If there was one thing I could change about my husband would be his love of "stuff". I also tend to be more sarcastic and hard edged. The tone of that post did not bother me at all. Stingy never crossed my mind. Guess because I don't expect men to be "generous". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 I'm still stuck that anyone would ask how much you make, especially on a first date. That is so friggin' rude! If I was dating and I guy asked me that, I think my jaw would hit the floor! I wouldn't mind being asked what I do for a living,etc. but how much I make? Pffffttt.it they want to be THAT perosnal, I could always ask them some perosnal questions too. Things like"have you ever declared bankruptcy" or "how much is in your chequing account" or even better " how well are you endowed". Mind you, anyone who is so uncouth as to ask how much you make might be prone to whipping out said endowment so it could be measured. (Right now, I would like to express my eternal gratitude to whatever it is that keeps the universe humming along that I am not dating. I don't think I'd have the patience for it):D:D:D) Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 Apparently you’re not the only one frustrated. I saw the below on the dating profile of a late 40s man Wow... But note - even he knows women want a “financially secure” man. “Confident, curious, financially secure. Financially independent women only. Zero interest in supporting you in any way, shape, or form. Models, actresses, artists, photographers, yogis, personal trainers, bartenders, backpackers, sugar babies, prostitutes, and/or any one else living in a really tiny, cluttered, crappy apartment (specially with roommates) is a hard pass. Sound tough? You ought to read your sister profiles. You all need a little humility. 6’2” 200, divorced, two kids, one dog.” :lmao: I found it off putting but perhaps you can get inspired. Wow. I thought women were bad! I can’t imagine any woman responding to this. However, I actually think it’s more important for the man to find a woman of equal financial standing. You make much more than a woman and get a divorce, you are in for a world of hurt. Even with a prenup, courts will often sympathize with the woman. Ask any divorced guy who now has roommates. I was super lucky with mine. I made more but she had more cash. That plus the prenup and it set me back less than $2k for the process. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gretchen12 Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 Online dating is not reality. Just a bunch of questions and photos. Even the photos can be edited. You are not getting a clear picture. Some of those "women" asking about your income before you even met could be men running scams. Dating sites are full of scammers. Don't believe everything you read. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 “Confident, curious, financially secure. Financially independent women only. Zero interest in supporting you in any way, shape, or form. Models, actresses, artists, photographers, yogis, personal trainers, bartenders, backpackers, sugar babies, prostitutes, and/or any one else living in a really tiny, cluttered, crappy apartment (specially with roommates) is a hard pass. Sound tough? You ought to read your sister profiles. You all need a little humility. 6’2” 200, divorced, two kids, one dog.” He can't be all that bad, he has a dog... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 As is waiting until you're 30+ years old to do so. Both sets of my grandparents were married by the time they were 21, their parents probably even earlier... Mr. Lucky Yes, my grandparents got married when my grandmother was 18 and my grandfather in his 20s. I also think that there are a lot of modern "perks" that people take for granted - for instance, 200 years ago it would be MUCH more difficult for the average working-class man to get sex outside of marriage, unless he went to prostitutes. (Rich/powerful people typically get whatever they want, obviously - now, and even moreso in the Victorian era.) Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 If you are in the NY Metro area, there are a LOT of women who do just this. And most don't even blink about it. Six figures-ish in the more urban Mid Atlantic is a pretty standard compensation level for professionals with 10 years or so of experience. When you get past the 250K range as a household is when you tend to see more Nannies, housekeepers, etc. coming into play. Umm, to be fair, most of the women I know earning six figures do hire nannies, or cleaners, etc. It just doesn't make sense in terms of how much your time is worth to do it all yourself (unless you really enjoy it). And I live in a country with one of the highest minimum wages in the world. How much do you even pay a cleaner in NY, isn't the minimum wage there something like $12/hr? IMO, working a high-paying full-time job AND doing 100% of the housework in a relationship, is just a recipe for resentment. I don't think anyone is doing themselves or their family any favours by doing that. Either get the spouse to pitch in, or outsource. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 (edited) Umm, to be fair, most of the women I know earning six figures do hire nannies, or cleaners, etc. It just doesn't make sense in terms of how much your time is worth to do it all yourself (unless you really enjoy it). And I live in a country with one of the highest minimum wages in the world. How much do you even pay a cleaner in NY, isn't the minimum wage there something like $12/hr? IMO, working a high-paying full-time job AND doing 100% of the housework in a relationship, is just a recipe for resentment. I don't think anyone is doing themselves or their family any favours by doing that. Either get the spouse to pitch in, or outsource. They get good dollar to house clean around here, as most houses are at least 4,000/sq.ft and up..They aint doing it for minimum wage.. Heck, I have a tiny little 8 lb dog and it cost $60 plus tip for a grooming session... But as to what that guy put in the OLD profile, I think that's terrific...He's weeding out all the tire kickers and dreamers...The only thing I might add is "if you pass that criteria, make sure to send a pic in a two piece holding a copy of the current days newspaper"...:laugh: TFY Edited February 7, 2019 by thefooloftheyear 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted February 9, 2019 Share Posted February 9, 2019 (edited) At these advanced ages, its pretty much "what's yours is yours and whats mine is mine" outside of shared living expenses...So I cant see how it would really matter at that point.. Yes, this is generally true. But some women and men want to get married, and marrying someone means taking on a financial partner. So I do look for someone at my level or better - pretty much all women at all ages do. If I were a man, likewise, I wouldn't marry a woman who could become a big financial liability in case of divorce. The man I've been seeing the past few months is lagging a bit behind me in smart financial planning - a first for me - and honestly, it feels like a huge risk/liability to get serious with him. It's not my style to have a more casual relationship, but I don't feel at all ready to make a serious commitment, given the disparity in our approach to finances. He's going to be my boyfriend forever because of the financial risk of marrying him? Not a romantic feeling at all! Edited February 9, 2019 by Ruby Slippers Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrLewis Posted February 9, 2019 Author Share Posted February 9, 2019 Yes, this is generally true. But some women and men want to get married, and marrying someone means taking on a financial partner. So I do look for someone at my level or better - pretty much all women at all ages do. If I were a man, likewise, I wouldn't marry a woman who could become a big financial liability in case of divorce. The man I've been seeing the past few months is lagging a bit behind me in smart financial planning - a first for me - and honestly, it feels like a huge risk/liability to get serious with him. It's not my style to have a more casual relationship, but I don't feel at all ready to make a serious commitment, given the disparity in our approach to finances. He's going to be my boyfriend forever because of the financial risk of marrying him? Not a romantic feeling at all! Funny you should say that... I had the same issue with a few that I last dated as well. I never understood how they can make so much but have nothing in savings or retirement (aside from a pension or whatever their employer gives them) in their 30's or 40's. One was renting, one had a small condo, and the last had a home. However, the home was paid for by her parents; apparently. It's so hard to make an informed decision these days. I've walked away from all as it seemed I was being looked upon as a wallet, nothing more. I did chronicle the one with the home here. Sometimes I think I should make a blog on my dating adventures. Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted February 10, 2019 Share Posted February 10, 2019 LOL... you’ve created a thread to complain about how materialistic women are. Yet now you state a woman should have a certain financial level to be... worthy dating material for you? She needs retirement money AND savings, and also a paid for home (god forbid her parents helped!). I thought you believed someone should like you for you... changed your mind? Funny you should say that... I had the same issue with a few that I last dated as well. I never understood how they can make so much but have nothing in savings or retirement (aside from a pension or whatever their employer gives them) in their 30's or 40's. One was renting, one had a small condo, and the last had a home. However, the home was paid for by her parents; apparently. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 edgy, I always see good looking women in fancy cars like Lexus, BMW, Range Rovers Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 “Confident, curious, financially secure. Financially independent women only. Zero interest in supporting you in any way, shape, or form. Models, actresses, artists, photographers, yogis, personal trainers, bartenders, backpackers, sugar babies, prostitutes, and/or any one else living in a really tiny, cluttered, crappy apartment (specially with roommates) is a hard pass. Sound tough? You ought to read your sister profiles. You all need a little humility. 6’2” 200, divorced, two kids, one dog.” Interesting find. I actually agree with asking for a financially independent woman. However writing a list of negatives instead of sticking with the positives makes him sound like a cynical wanker. Though I guess he might attract a cynical bitter woman and it could be a match made in heaven. They could spend all their time looking down their noses at everyone else. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrLewis Posted February 11, 2019 Author Share Posted February 11, 2019 LOL... you’ve created a thread to complain about how materialistic women are. Yet now you state a woman should have a certain financial level to be... worthy dating material for you? She needs retirement money AND savings, and also a paid for home (god forbid her parents helped!). I thought you believed someone should like you for you... changed your mind? Umm, not really sweet cakes. Just comparing the situation from two people. I do not expect anything from another person. However, a person, man or woman, who has zero savings and zero retirement in their 40's could be a cause for alarm. Link to post Share on other sites
david2 Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 Definitely yes. Because with each passing day, we are giving less importance to emotions and the more materialistic behavior dominates our mind. Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 I vote no. Even in upper middle class circles (say, professional families in the 250-350k range) it's more acceptable than ever to drive old cars and wear plain clothes. People with money to spend are spending it on experiences, not things. Minimalism isn't just a trend, it's a recognition that most possessions aren't really necessary. Not to mention so many people have medical and/or student loan debt that excessive materialism isn't really an option. This may be distorted by actions at the extremes---billionaires buying yachts, or impoverished people buying showy jewelry as a sign of success---but I think overall it's a good time to be against mindless consumerism. More people than ever are focused on saving what they can. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 I vote yes... "The hard headed never learn" https://www.cnbc.com/2019/02/12/a-record-number-of-americans-are-90-days-behind-on-their-car-payments.html TFY Link to post Share on other sites
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