nychic009 Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 (edited) I have posted here before about this guy I was dating, we broke up but kept texting. So basically yesterday he came to mine and we had a conversation where he apologized, said how much he misses me and wants to make things work with me, etc, and we decided to give it a try.<snip> Just wait when he's back and you can ask him in person. No need to over analyze because it can be so many different things, a lot might not be related to you that can affect why he did that. Edited February 15, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetgirl2019 Posted February 15, 2019 Author Share Posted February 15, 2019 (edited) In that case, he should have been honest and tell me what's going on. Honesty is the basis of any healthy relationship. Edited February 15, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact quote of prior post Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 I get the feeling that if he hadn't kissed you and shown affection you would still be upset. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nychic009 Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 In that case, he should have been honest and tell me what's going on. Honesty is the basis of any healthy relationship. That’s your outlook your needs. Not him. It’s not all about you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetgirl2019 Posted February 15, 2019 Author Share Posted February 15, 2019 I get the feeling that if he hadn't kissed you and shown affection you would still be upset. He did a lot more than just kissing me and showing affection. And then stopping? That's what got me upset. It wasn't the first time we would have sex and we are going to be a week without seeing each other. Doesn't make sense to me and I felt it as some sort of power play. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetgirl2019 Posted February 15, 2019 Author Share Posted February 15, 2019 That’s your outlook your needs. Not him. It’s not all about you. Well, in this case it was about me. If it was the other way around, me masturbating him and getting him really aroused and then when he asked if I want to go to the bedroom I say no, then it would be about him and me just being plain mean. If I didn't want to have sex, I don't need to get him really aroused and then leave. We're not teenagers. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 (edited) Whoa hold up...so he made sure he teased the crap out of you, and left you hanging. And he gives you this excuse that "We should wait til I get back...." Don't you see, He's a manipulative jerk, he's playing games with you, he wants you to be confused, he wants to mess you up. Breakup with him and go have sex with someone else. I am serious, this guy is bad news girl. I have a feeling when he gets back he's going to tell you he's changed his mind, that it was a mistake, and breakup with you. Edited February 15, 2019 by smackie9 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetgirl2019 Posted February 15, 2019 Author Share Posted February 15, 2019 (edited) Whoa hold up...so he made sure he teased the crap out of you, and left you hanging. And he gives you this excuse that "We should wait til I get back...." Don't you see, He's a manipulative jerk, he's playing games with you, he wants you to be confused, he wants to mess you up. Breakup with him and go have sex with someone else. I am serious, this guy is bad news girl. I have a feeling when he gets back he's going to tell you he's changed his mind, that it was a mistake, and breakup with you. Wow, thank you, finally someone understands what happened, is not me who's crazy. Yes I don't think is normal to tease the crap out of me and leave me hanging. If he didn't want to have sex, then go home and don't do that to me. And especially telling to my face "yes I know it's frustrating..." And he was also very aroused and making a big effort to stop. It really did sound manipulative. Like to leave me hanging so I want him more and I'm here all keen when he comes back. But is having the opposite effect. I'm starting to think with so many guys in the world that would be keen to have sex with me, why am I spending time with a guy that does this? And what really pi**** me off is the bulls*** that he is a very sweet guy with good intentions of spending quality time with me and not rushing things. Maybe it will be me who will change my mind and break up with him when he comes back. Edited February 15, 2019 by sweetgirl2019 Link to post Share on other sites
nychic009 Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 (edited) Wow, thank you, finally someone understands what happened, is not me who's crazy.<snip> Most men are not “manipulative” like women and think ahead/plan strategies to get certain outcomes. Except when courting the girl. In your case I just think he had a change of heart at the moment for whatever reason. But didn’t want to address it on the spot bc he’s still Processing so he gave you some bs excuse. Maybe he’s unsure about your relationship and didn’t want to lead you on. I’m not sure. But I don’t think he intentionally thought of a plan to manipulate you. I would just hold off contact and let him initiate from here. His messages are mixed and you don’t want to pursue. Let him show you his cards. Edited February 15, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote 1 Link to post Share on other sites
olivetree Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 It sucks to get all riled up and then to be let down, but why do you assume he manipulated you... does he have other manipulative behaviour? It seems more plausible that he realized it was a bad idea at the time. He already said he didn't want to spend the night, and then it just sounds like things got carried away. Maybe he doesn't want to rush your reunion, or maybe he just wanted an early night before his trip. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 He did a lot more than just kissing me and showing affection. And then stopping? That's what got me upset. It wasn't the first time we would have sex and we are going to be a week without seeing each other. Doesn't make sense to me and I felt it as some sort of power play. Maybe he just wasn't feeling you at that moment. Were you clean? Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs._December Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 Is this same guy that you said you were breaking up with back in January, due to his shady behavior and his LYING? I guess you changed your mind because you're still seeing him. Is he the same guy who wouldn't even tell his own son he'd be going abroad for a week, and who tried to sugarcoat some shady behavior of his until you had to drag it out of him, and then had some kind of drama queen meltdown about you texting instead of calling or some other nonsense? I would have blown my brains out by now if I had to deal with such a child. I don't mean this disrespectfully, but why do you continually put up this immature man-child? With his continued show of complete immaturity that you keep posting about, I keep thinking I'm reading about some 19 year old teenage boy and then I remember this guy has his OWN teenage son and is probably 40 years old or so! Hard to believe. It's just been NOTHING but bull**** with this guy. You made a smart decision to dump him but then not so wisely have continued being involved with him. And not surprisingly, it's MORE of the same old bull**** with him. He's obviously emotionally stunted and you keep trying to get him to act like an ADULT man but that's not happening. You need to stop wasting your time with this science experiment. It's not your job to fix what's wrong with him. Don't you want BETTER for yourself? Stop continually lowering the bar just to keep this fool in your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetgirl2019 Posted February 15, 2019 Author Share Posted February 15, 2019 Maybe he just wasn't feeling you at that moment. Were you clean? Are you serious? He was very hard into it if you know what I mean. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetgirl2019 Posted February 15, 2019 Author Share Posted February 15, 2019 (edited) Is this same guy that you said you were breaking up with back in January, due to his shady behavior and his LYING? I guess you changed your mind because you're still seeing him. <snip> Thank you, I needed to hear all that. Yes he is a 40 year old but still behaving like a teenager in many ways. Edited February 15, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 It seems more plausible that he realized it was a bad idea at the time. He already said he didn't want to spend the night, and then it just sounds like things got carried away. Maybe he doesn't want to rush your reunion, or maybe he just wanted an early night before his trip. No that is not how guys think. What he did was intentional. Link to post Share on other sites
pandagirl2018 Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 Maybe by the time he went to yours he has had sex before with someone else or he had someone else waiting for him after he left yours. It is weird his behaviour. I could understand it if he was only going to be away for a couple of days, or if he couldn’t sleep at yours and didn’t want to leave you right after sex, but with him being away for a whole week I see no problem in staying with you even if he had to rush the next morning to go to work. I agree it would have been an opportunity to connect with each other and is absurd to get aroused to that point and then leave. Did he forget the condoms? I would get very angry too if my boyfriend did that to me. Is like cooking a meal, and then saying you can only eat it in a week. Makes no sense. Feels like some sort of game and intentional. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetgirl2019 Posted February 15, 2019 Author Share Posted February 15, 2019 No that is not how guys think. What he did was intentional. Of course it was, I felt it immediately when he did it. What kind of guy turns on his girlfriend to then say no to having sex with her? It made me feel stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
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