Women's minds are tricky

[some_username1]

In most cases the number one non physical factor in a woman's attraction is respect. If she doesn't respect you then it can never work and nobody respects a man who is willing to give up his self respect and dignity for a date. A man can be respectful and honorable and be a gentleman but he should always have self respect and always let it be known that while a great woman is a wonderful addition he can live a great life on his own as well.

 

Yep, letting a woman know you are prepared to walk away from the negotiating table is powerful stuff.

[Rayce]

Exactly, we have an entire generation that has been brainwashed by movies and novels in which the guy keeps chasing the girl forever and finally they live happily ever after.

 

This is me... the Cinderella syndrome. You can blame Walt Disney. lol..

[elaine567]

This is me... the Cinderella syndrome. You can blame Walt Disney. lol..

 

 

Like Keira Knightley, I would ban Cinderella.

[alphamale]

In most cases the number one non physical factor in a woman's attraction is respect. If she doesn't respect you then it can never work and nobody respects a man who is willing to give up his self respect and dignity for a date. A man can be respectful and honorable and be a gentleman but he should always have self respect and always let it be known that while a great woman is a wonderful addition he can live a great life on his own as well.

that about says it all

[Rayce]

Like Keira Knightley, I would ban Cinderella.

 

Would you close Disneyland too?

[elaine567]

Yep, letting a woman know you are prepared to walk away from the negotiating table is powerful stuff.

 

 

Maybe, but is it not a breeding ground for resentment too?

[Woggle]

Some women are attracted to jerks and bad boys because they mimic strong men with self respect but you can have all those qualities and still be honorable and any woman who keeps going back to men who mistreat is one you don't want anyway. What man in his right mind would even want a woman who acts like she is allergic to healthy relationships? Just move on and hope for their sake that they get their head screwed on straight one day.

[Woggle]

Maybe, but is it not a breeding ground for resentment too?

 

Not at all. It lets a woman know that you will not tolerate being mistreated and you would rather be alone than with somebody who doesn't treat you well.

 

There is no need to ban Disney or any fairytale. Teach your kids the difference between reality and fantasy and to not take relationship advice from cartoons and they should be fine.

[basil67]

In most cases the number one non physical factor in a woman's attraction is respect. If she doesn't respect you then it can never work and nobody respects a man who is willing to give up his self respect and dignity for a date. A man can be respectful and honorable and be a gentleman but he should always have self respect and always let it be known that while a great woman is a wonderful addition he can live a great life on his own as well.

 

Is it fair to say that a man also needs to respect a woman in order to pursue a long term thing with her? And for him to know that while he's a great addition, she can live a great life on her own?

 

Being prepared to walk away has always served me well.

[major_merrick]

I've dated a lot of women, and I think women end up being tricky because they are EXPECTED to be tricky and raised that way. We are expected to be attractive and likeable. We can whine and manipulate so that we don't seem pushy. We are told that guys don't like an aggressive or pushy girl. Girls that are aggressive are more "masculine." "Good girls" don't wear T-shirts and jeans, get dirty, wear army boots, make loud noises, throw things, or get in bar fights.

 

Me - I tend to be straightforward. I like a bit of teasing and chasing, but in the end I just grab what I want and hang on. I don't care as much about being likeable or gentle. If I'm not attached to someone or needing to get something (like my paycheck) I absolutely will offend people. Sometimes I like tossing the apple of discord just to watch the fight. Sometimes it mortifies my husband, but he knows that it is me being normal and I'm not hiding anything. Tricky? Not my style. Emotional? Definitely. But what is on the surface is what's underneath too. Not much to hide, and not much reason to hide it.

[Gretchen12]

Whatever you say about women, remember that includes your mother and your daughter.

 

It is often the mother that has the closest contact with young children. And most kindergarten and elementary schoolteachers are women. If women are such emotional and confusing people, all of us are in trouble.

[manfrombelow2]

1/ Thanks for the reminder. I am fully aware of that. I am also aware this fact has nothing to do with my topic.

 

Whatever you say about women, remember that includes your mother and your daughter.

 

2/ That's why we need the fathers too, HELLO?

 

It is often the mother that has the closest contact with young children. And most kindergarten and elementary schoolteachers are women. If women are such emotional and confusing people, all of us are in trouble.

[Mrin]

Dude here.

 

I dunno man. I could be totally wrong here (ladies, please let me know if I am) but in my experience what most women really want is for the guy to just own it. Be authentic. If you're going to be the nice guy, then be the nice guy. If you're going to be Mr. Romantic, then be him. If you're going to be the jerk, then jerk away. They just want to be with the real you, not the "you" that you become to please them. Because that's not the real you.

 

To use your example - If I bring a woman flowers in the middle of the night, it isn't because she wants me to. It is because I want to and I want her to know it. See the difference there?

 

They want to see the real you and then they can decide if the real you is something they want in their lives.

 

I think we men have a tendency to game-ify women. That they're some 27th level Boss in a video game or a riddle... or worse - some transactional equation where X, Y and Z actions will result in A, B and C. It isn't the actions, "moves" or deeds that women respond to, it is the motivation and person behind them. For the most part. Totally generalizing here.

 

So what's a Cro-Magnon dude like me to do when faced with such perplexing logic? Be yourself. Also listen, a lot. Women will tell you tons of stuff if you just listen. It might not be direct and obvious all the time but just pay attention. Also, if you must ask, don't just say "what do you want me to do?" Instead, try "how would you like to feel?" Listen to her answer and then you figure out how to make her feel that way. If you can't do that, you're missing the point.

 

Am I totally off base?

 

 

Mrin

[basil67]

It works for me Mrin

[manfrombelow2]

It's not about WHO wants it. It's about the consequence of the action.

 

And I never said a man is forever forbidden to performe such an act (bring a woman flowers in the middle of the night), what I meant is he must not do it when they start dating.

 

When a man and a woman are officially in a official relationship, that's another entirely different story. That's when you can bring her a garden of flowers if you want. But that's another entirely different story.

 

 

To use your example - If I bring a woman flowers in the middle of the night, it isn't because she wants me to. It is because I want to and I want her to know it. See the difference there.

Edited January 22, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed personal attack

[Nilfiry]

Eh, deep down, most people do not know what they really want anyway, men and women. That is why most people spend so much time in and out of the dating game, so they can have a chance to finally figure it all out. It also does not help that most people do not know how to reconcile logic and emotions either. Most of the time you ask a person why they are feeling a certain way, they would not be able to tell you or even describe why because they have no control over their emotional state.

 

Nevertheless, that does not mean people are hard to figure out because at the root of it all, everyone wants the same thing. If you can understand the basis for all of all of your needs, you would naturally start to understand everyone else as well. The only difference is that everyone has their own style, their own flavor, and their own methods in going about pursing their needs.

[littleblackheart]

I'm still not clear on why someone would find it appropriate to give you flowers in the middle of the night when you're not in a clearly defined relationship?

 

After a couple of dates, if I get flowers in the night from a near stranger, I freak the hell out. Major creep vibes.

 

I've had that done to me when I was a student working at my local supermarket. This guy would come to my station every day to buy random stuff and waited for me at closing time with a bunch of flowers one evening. I did not find this remotely romantic...

 

You need to provide a more detailed context to your theory.

[sabaton]

From my experience, most of the time, you should not ask a woman the "what do you want me to do" question because even themselves don't understand how women work.

Why would you ask anyone what they want you to do? Just live your life accordingly to what makes you happy, and if people don't like it that's their problem, not yours.

 

For example, most girls would think that they want a romantic guy to bring them flowers in the middle of the night, or they would think they want a guy to text them first the morning after their 1st date... etc...

You don't know most of the women who are alive, and why do you call women ''girls?'' Women stop being girls as soon as they hit the age of 18. They look young, yes, that's the whole point, but they're adults. Women. Not girls.

 

Some women are going to like the guy to bring flowers, others are not. Just play it safe and don't bring the girl anything. Your company is good enough. If it ain't.. she can go find herself another guy. For the most part, women who barely know a guy don't want him to get all mushy-feely. It sends vibes that he's crazy, legit. Take her to a coffee date, see if there's chemistry there, pay for your coffee, and wait a few days before contacting her. In the meantime, work on other girls. Do that, until one of them puts out.

 

BUT, here is where the tragedy begins, if a guy actually does that, it immediately sends a message to women's unconscious mind that this guy is weak, needy and unworthy, which automatically lowers their attraction for the guy.

When women want to bang you, they don't play games. They don't need a guy to play mind games to increase their level of interest in you. Go to the gym. Increase your body mass to the point where you become an impressive physical specimen, if you are a skinny guy, lose weight and get toned if you are overweight -> https://i2.wp.com/mtsusidelines.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/Creed-2-1.jpg?fit=940%2C580

 

And then meet women. Don't ''date''. Dating is what you do with a woman after you've had sex with her. Hang out. Tell her that you're going to this place or that other place, and ask her if she'd like to tag along. Don't spend money on a woman. You should only be spending money on a woman after you're in a relationship with her and getting laid frequently.

 

Talk and pursue with other women. When ONE woman is being lukewarm about you, you won't care because when you are talking to five, ten women at the same time, being rejected by one doesn't matter as there's going to be at least a couple women who'll let you smash in the meantime.

 

And what one woman likes, another woman is turned off. There was one girl who got actually turned off that I was being romantic to her, and when I began being myself(arrogant, cocky, entitled) she responded far better in the manner that I wanted her to respond to me, whereas there was another girl to whom I was my fratboy self, and she rejected me and blocked me outright.

 

Just go talk to women, and eventually you'll find enough women to sleep with you. Or date you, if that's what you want.

 

And that's when things would fall down, and we have another guy crying on LS.

Honestly, the reason why we have guys on LS crying is because they had sheltered lives growing up with little contact with the opposite sex. I'm a second generation American, and as a kid I was taken often to my grandparents homeland, and I saw 12, 14 year old boys out on the streets all day long playing soccer and running and going to the beach, flirting with girls every chance they got.

 

Over here in the US, kids spend more time playing video games and eating doritos than they do talking to girls, and that results in a bunch of guys who come to LS to ask stuff like, ''huh, this girl looked at me for 1 second when she got up to leave the bus she was in, and I was in the way. Does she like me?!''

 

So yeah. What women think they want and what they actually want are totally different.

Nah. When a woman plays hard to get it's because.

 

A) She's hot and you aren't.

B)She's having sex with other men, so she ain't getting thirsty enough to sleep with you.

C) She's a gold-digger.

Edited January 22, 2019 by sabaton

[losangelena]

Lol, this thread.

 

Yes, please, men, DO tell us confused, emotional women what we’re all about. I’m dying to hear more.

[basil67]

and as a kid I was taken often to my grandparents homeland, and I saw 12, 14 year old boys out on the streets all day long playing soccer and running and going to the beach, flirting with girls every chance they got.

 

I think single sex schools also have a bit to answer for when it comes to people who can't relate to the opposite sex. School isn't just about academics - it's also about learning interpersonal skills.

[basil67]

Lol, this thread.

 

Yes, please, men, DO tell us confused, emotional women what we’re all about. I’m dying to hear more.

 

There's no point - we wouldn't understand it anyway

[sabaton]

Lol, this thread.

 

Yes, please, men, DO tell us confused, emotional women what we’re all about. I’m dying to hear more.

 

bro, if the girl is ''confused'' it's because she's really not into him. Get my homeboy Brad Pitt a bottle of restorative youth, bring him back to the age of 30 when he filmed Fight Club, load up his arms with boxes of the most cheesy chocolate and teddy bears, tell him to act like Edward Cullen in Twilight, then put him in front of women and let's see how many women will reject him because he brought them flowers too soon

 

Boys, lift. Lift hard. Get a tan. A natural tan, not one of those Donald Trump tans. Maximize as much as you can your facial aesthetics, go to the dentist and get yourself that generic Hollywood smile, buy expensive clothes, and then head out to meet women. You guys problem is not women ''not knowing what they want,'' they perfectly know what they want, and in many cases, they don't want you.

 

So, improve yourself, become aesthetic. Or lower your standards in women. Either way, there's no problem or fault with a woman who rejects you. It's all on you, baby boy. Every time a woman rejects me, it's because I'm not hot enough for her. It has nothing to do with women ''being immature and not't knowing what they want''.

Edited January 22, 2019 by sabaton

[losangelena]

bro, if the girl is ''confused'' it's because she's really not into him. Get my homeboy Brad Pitt a bottle of restorative youth, bring him back to the age of 30 when he filmed Fight Club, load up his arms with boxes of the most cheesy chocolate and teddy bears, tell him to act like Edward Cullen in Twilight, then put him in front of women and let's see how many women will reject him because he brought them flowers too soon

 

Boys, lift. Lift hard. Get a tan. A natural tan, not one of those Donald Trump tans. Maximize as much as you can your facial aesthetics, go to the dentist and get yourself that generic Hollywood smile, buy expensive clothes, and then head out to meet women. You guys problem is not women ''not knowing what they want,'' they perfectly know what they want, and in many cases, they don't want you.

 

So, improve yourself, become aesthetic. Or lower your standards in women. Either way, there's no problem or fault with a woman who rejects you. It's all on you, baby boy. Every time a woman rejects me, it's because I'm not hot enough for her. It has nothing to do with women ''being immature and not't knowing what they want''.

 

I’m a woman, bro.

 

And you clearly don’t understand sarcasm when it smacks you in the face. Try again.

[sabaton]

I’m a woman, bro.

 

And you clearly don’t understand sarcasm when it smacks you in the face. Try again.

 

 

Why are you being rude to me? Last I checked there is no reason for a passive-aggressive post such as that one coming my way. I'm trying to help this guy figure out that the problem he's meeting lies not in women but in him, and you act that way, when I was giving him tips?

 

really, bro?

 

 

That makes me sad. Legit.

[SophieG]

Boys, lift. Lift hard. Get a tan. A natural tan, not one of those Donald Trump tans. Maximize as much as you can your facial aesthetics, go to the dentist and get yourself that generic Hollywood smile, buy expensive clothes, and then head out to meet women. You guys problem is not women ''not knowing what they want,'' they perfectly know what they want, and in many cases, they don't want you.

 

So, improve yourself, become aesthetic.

 

Do you really think that all women want the six pack, muscled, handsome, Hollywood looking guy?