Author Only-yours Posted January 22, 2019 Author Share Posted January 22, 2019 Till you land a hot woman who gives you an instant boner when you are around her, then you will change your perspective... You are just trying to excuse away the fact you haven't found the one yet but when you do all bets will be off.. I am not trying to make excuses here. I would not form a long term relationship with a woman who think she is just giving sex to me without desiring sex herself no matter how hot she is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Only-yours Posted January 22, 2019 Author Share Posted January 22, 2019 (edited) No, I'm saying you're passive aggressive because of your passive aggressive statements in your OP. <snip> Could you please enlighten me about what is so passive aggresive about my statement? Edited January 22, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 22, 2019 Share Posted January 22, 2019 For me it was the title of your thread. It made it sound like you wanted to get married but then never have sex with your wife because all women were users. You have since clarified that you are simply looking for a woman who's desire & sex drive match yours & that you don't want somebody who uses sex as a weapon or as a way of controlling somebody. That is just fine. It was your reference to marriage that caused me confusion. I think you would agree that a man who married a woman by promising her a healthy sex life, then turned around & said I prefer celibacy would be doing the exact thing you don't want some woman to do to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Only-yours Posted January 22, 2019 Author Share Posted January 22, 2019 because: 1) You are not offering a standard relationship. That's fine, but you need to be very sure that the person you try to enter a relationship with knows what you are and are not offering. 2) You appear to have issues which you are addressing in a manipulative way. You're saying a lot of angry things about what you think other people want from you (which you may not be correct about) and pushing your decisions off on them... blaming "people" for what you're doing. You're not saying much about what you personally want. That suggests you are not currently in touch with what you want, which suggests that a relationship with you has the risk of you emotionally imploding and blaming your partner for "making" you do something you didn't want. 1) Firstly, I don't know what makes you think I am not offering standard relationship. I would obviously talk to my partner before entering into a long-term relationship about what I do and don't want. 2) Secondly, I don't believe I am addressing issues in a manipulative way. When I get responses like "women do not owe you politeness", "Who cares how you feel?", "You deserve to be humiliated", etc, I get the idea that it is much better to live life like a celibate monk rather than getting humiliated for what and who you are. Such responses like "women do not owe you politeness", "Who cares how you feel", etc make me think that I should compromise my self respect and let women to insult me, humiliate me, or manipulate me. The thing is that in no way I will compromise my self respect for women. I would rather remain celibate, but I shall never compromise my self respect for women. If you think that I am addressing things in manipulative way, then let it be. I will remain celibate for the rest of my life until or unless I find a woman who views me as a man with feelings, not a prisoner whom she could torture. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Only-yours Posted January 22, 2019 Author Share Posted January 22, 2019 (edited) For me it was the title of your thread. It made it sound like you wanted to get married but then never have sex with your wife because all women were users. You have since clarified that you are simply looking for a woman who's desire & sex drive match yours & that you don't want somebody who uses sex as a weapon or as a way of controlling somebody. That is just fine. It was your reference to marriage that caused me confusion. I think you would agree that a man who married a woman by promising her a healthy sex life, then turned around & said I prefer celibacy would be doing the exact thing you don't want some woman to do to you. The main point is that I do not really feel attracted to a woman who does not not have the same sex drive as me. I mean I might be sexually attracted to her, but I may not be attracted to her on psychological or emotional level in a long term relationship. d0nnivain, please pay attention to these words of mine so that you might try to understand what I am actually trying to say: When I said that I would remain celibate in marriage, what I actually meant was that I would rather remain celibate in such marriage where the woman thinks sex is her "job" and does not desire or want sex herself and withholds sex. I would rather choose to remain celibate than forming relationship with women (not my wife, I'm not married yet) who think that I should compromise my self respect and allow them to humiliate me just because I chose to approach them. I would rather remain celibate if women (not my wife, I am not married yet) think that it is ok to humiliate me just because I chose to approach them. The good thing is that I actually like horny women. I have no problem if a woman is sexually open and isn't shy. d0nnivain, even in one of your post you mentioned that you were romantically attracted to a man, but you chose not to be intimate with him sexually just because he would think that you are sexually open. Even you overlook the fact that not all men think that way, and I am one of them. I believe that if there is no sexual thrill in a marriage, then it is just more like a "job" where man looks like "employer" and woman looks like "employee" providing sex to the man. I can understand that romantic and sexual attraction are two different things. However, the main thing is that I do not view sex as a "job" where a man is the "employer" and his woman is his "employee". I think that sex should be enjoyed by both men and women. d0nnivain, I have a question for you. You wrote that it would be deceitful on my part if before marriage I make a woman believe that I want a healthy robust sex life, then after marriage I decided to choose celibacy and choose not to even touch her. So my question for you is why would it be deceitful if sex is all for me and all about me? Why would it be deceitful ON MY PART? This is the main question for YOU. It is just useless to have sex with a woman who FAKES orgasms just to fool me into believing that I am pleasing her sexually. Unfortunately, this is exactly what many women are doing (i.e. faking orgasms). According to a study around 80 percent women fake orgasms Source: Sorry, guys: 80 percent of women fake it - Health - Sexual health - Sexploration | NBC News d0nnivain, so the question still stands. Why would it be deceitful on my part if I chose celibacy after claiming that I want a healthy sex with the woman I am planning to marry if sex is all for me and all about me? Edited January 22, 2019 by Only-yours Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted January 22, 2019 Share Posted January 22, 2019 (edited) 1) Firstly, I don't know what makes you think I am not offering standard relationship. I would obviously talk to my partner before entering into a long-term relationship about what I do and don't want. You said you wanted to get married and stay celibate. That is not standard. 2) Secondly, I don't believe I am addressing issues in a manipulative way. When I get responses like "women do not owe you politeness", "Who cares how you feel?", "You deserve to be humiliated", etc, I get the idea that it is much better to live life like a celibate monk rather than getting humiliated for what and who you are. Such responses like "women do not owe you politeness", "Who cares how you feel", etc make me think that I should compromise my self respect and let women to insult me, humiliate me, or manipulate me. You talk about these "responses" as if there's a giant conspiracy against you where none exists. I have not seen these "responses" you are talking about, and do not know if you are completely misrepresenting what people said to you. Do you think that these so-called responses are sensible ways for other people to think and feel? Do you think that they are common? Do you think that everyone around you believes that you deserve to be humiliated? If you actually believe that everyone around you hates you and is conspiring against you, then you need to talk to a therapist, because you are suffering from paranoia and need help to get a better understanding of the world before you do yourself harm. If you don't actually believe that everyone around you believes these things, then why are you using them as justification for your actions? It sounds like an over-the-top reaction which isn't actually serious but is meant to elicit sympathy. If you think that I am addressing things in manipulative way, then let it be. I will remain celibate for the rest of my life until or unless I find a woman who views me as a man with feelings, not a prisoner whom she could torture. It's completely reasonable to avoid getting into relationships with people who only want to use you. What does that have to do with "living a celibate life in marriage" which was the topic of your thread? Are you suggesting that you want marry an evil woman and stay with her forever but not have sex with her? Edited January 25, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 22, 2019 Share Posted January 22, 2019 The thing is that in no way I will compromise my self respect for women. Who is asking you to? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted January 22, 2019 Share Posted January 22, 2019 It is just useless to have sex with a woman who FAKES orgasms just to fool me into believing that I am pleasing her sexually. Unfortunately, this is exactly what many women are doing (i.e. faking orgasms). According to a study around 80 percent women fake orgasms Source: Sorry, guys: 80 percent of women fake it - Health - Sexual health - Sexploration | NBC News I don't doubt there are times my wive has sex with me even though she thinks the end result won't be a mind-blowing orgasm for her. I see that as love and commitment and I do the same for her. Not quite sure why you see that as manipulation and deceit? Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Only-yours Posted January 23, 2019 Author Share Posted January 23, 2019 I don't doubt there are times my wive has sex with me even though she thinks the end result won't be a mind-blowing orgasm for her. I see that as love and commitment and I do the same for her. Not quite sure why you see that as manipulation and deceit? Mr. Lucky No, I do not see that as manipulation or deceit. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 I asked who is asking you to do this (compromise your self respect) and for some reason you didn't answer. Who is asking you to do this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Only-yours Posted January 23, 2019 Author Share Posted January 23, 2019 I asked who is asking you to do this (compromise your self respect) and for some reason you didn't answer. Who is asking you to do this? No one asked me to compromise my self respect for women. I just felt that it is ok for some women to humiliate me just because I approach them. Anyway, I am just suffering from depression because of some past bad experiences. I might be wrong because I think I just took things too far. I'm working out on several things in life right now, as I need time to find solutions to my problems. I just hope I will recover soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 Wishing you the best in your recovery and hope you are in a better place soon. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Only-yours Posted January 24, 2019 Author Share Posted January 24, 2019 Sorry about the age mistake. There are lots of women out there ( pepperbird raises her hand) that view sex as if it's something really special. To us, it's the ultimate bonding experience. Like I said, the keys are honesty and patience. In the meantime, every friendship or romantic relationship you have will teach you about yourself, which is great. The more you learn, the better you'll be able to recognize the woman who's a great fit for you when you find her. Thanks, dear. You just motivated me. I really appreciate you, dear. Your advice was far much better than other's. Link to post Share on other sites
MountainGirl111 Posted January 25, 2019 Share Posted January 25, 2019 I Anyway, after thinking about it a lot, I have decided that I will never approach opposite gender anymore. I will not approach my own gender either because I am not a homosexual. I will marry a woman because I want kid, but apart from that I will never have sex with her or even touch her. I will be "respecting" her by not having sex with her, and I will never "violate" her in this way. If this is what people want me to do, then they got it. . Kind of getting into the all or nothing mentality here. You might want to re-think this. Is it really all or nothing? I mean, c'mon.... Now, just about the time you have truly given up approaching the opposite sex is also about the time you may stumble upon or stumble into someone of the opposite sex who is a good match for you.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Only-yours Posted February 2, 2019 Author Share Posted February 2, 2019 (edited) What does that have to do with "living a celibate life in marriage" which was the topic of your thread? Are you suggesting that you want marry an evil woman and stay with her forever but not have sex with her? I do not want sympathy or evil woman. Now what I actually want do is marry a woman and withhold sex. That is actually what I want to do. If a woman can live without sex, then I can also live without sex. I have been living without sex for 11 years. Now what I will do is marry a woman and purposely withhold sex and emotional intimacy to prove that I can live without her. I do not owe sex to anyone even if that person is my wife. I have adopted MGTOW Lifestyle. Edited February 2, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator edited quote Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted February 2, 2019 Share Posted February 2, 2019 This is the most extreme opinion I have read on LS, I think from a man. You are very very hard on yourself. This is only the internet so don't change your life based on some messages here or your real experiences so far. Wait a good long while and see if you change your mind. Talk to some optimistic realistic singles. Or even move to another location. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Only-yours Posted February 2, 2019 Author Share Posted February 2, 2019 This is the most extreme opinion I have read on LS, I think from a man. You are very very hard on yourself. This is only the internet so don't change your life based on some messages here or your real experiences so far. Wait a good long while and see if you change your mind. Talk to some optimistic realistic singles. Or even move to another location. You do realize that opinions here are given by real humans, right? I really don't care about what people think about me, anyway. But the thing is that now I have finally decided to accept the challenge that I can live without intimacy and emotional support. Surely I will marry a woman bu that would be a sexless and emotionless relationship. I will definitely withhold sex and intimacy. This is exactly what I will do now. I do NOT owe sex to anyone even if it is my wife. Women are not entitled to sex even after they become our wives. I have finally adopted the MGTOW lifestyle, but I will still marry because I want kids. People would love to call me evil, insane, etc. But I really don't care. Call me whatever you want, I would now actually love to withhold affection and sex to see her suffer. This is exactly what I want to do to make me happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 Y Surely I will marry a woman bu that would be a sexless and emotionless relationship. I will definitely withhold sex and intimacy. This is exactly what I will do now. I do NOT owe sex to anyone even if it is my wife. Women are not entitled to sex even after they become our wives. I have finally adopted the MGTOW lifestyle, but I will still marry because I want kids. People would love to call me evil, insane, etc. But I really don't care. Call me whatever you want, I would now actually love to withhold affection and sex to see her suffer. This is exactly what I want to do to make me happy. Sounds like you're going to be an emotional suicide bomber, giving yourself up for the cause. You do know you need "intimacy" to have kids, right? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 Surely I will marry a woman but that would be a sexless and emotionless relationship. I will definitely withhold sex and intimacy. Call me whatever you want, I would now actually love to withhold affection and sex to see her suffer. Good luck finding a woman who will agree your terms. To say this discussion is disturbing is an understatement. Please OP, seek counselling. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 Call me whatever you want, I would now actually love to withhold affection and sex to see her suffer. This is exactly what I want to do to make me happy. You wrote this today ^^ But when you joined just 7 months ago you wrote >>I am a 25 year old young guy. I believe I can treat women better than other men. I may treat you like my queen. I would always love you and be the first person to be with you in your difficult times and happy times as well.... I would want to be sexually and romantically intimate with my woman daily or even twice a day. This is because I would love to be intimate with my woman because I love her. << I don't think I've ever seen such a swift turn around. What has happened between now and then to make switch from you idealising being a loving, thoughtful husband to being a cruel one? Also, you say you want children. Do you realise what a dreadful parent you'd be if you were wanting them live with you in a house of cruelty and misery? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Tantrum Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 Where are all these women who have humiliated you or tried to control you with sex? Sounds to me like you've read some things suggesting or stating that women do this, and have gotten way ahead of yourself, assuming that this is what will happen if you get into a relationship. I've read the accounts you've related in other threads about your interactions with women you were attracted to, and I simply see no evidence of this humiliating/manipulative behavior in your history as you've described it. Why do you assume that this is the way any hypothetical future relationship would be? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 I do not want sympathy or evil woman. Now what I actually want do is marry a woman and withhold sex. That is actually what I want to do. If a woman can live without sex, then I can also live without sex. I have been living without sex for 11 years. Now what I will do is marry a woman and purposely withhold sex and emotional intimacy to prove that I can live without her. I do not owe sex to anyone even if that person is my wife. I have adopted MGTOW Lifestyle. While I still have absolutely no idea why you would want this, you have said you want this. You must tell any one you try dating about this desire on your part. Most women will not be OK with it. But if you find somebody who is, she is probably your soul mate. If you go into marriage without disclosing this you are being the evil manipulative person you are trying to avoid. Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 Hahaha. Because the goal is to what? See if you can get divorced? Why not just remain single if this is your objective? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 Hahaha. Because the goal is to what? See if you can get divorced? Why not just remain single if this is your objective? No, I think the goal here is punish women for their perceived wrong doing... The end result, if he marries and treats his wife poorly, will be divorce. And yes, staying single would most definitely be cheaper... and easier... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 Ah...I get it. This is all about "punishing" women. That's scary. Link to post Share on other sites
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