is there something "wrong" with women who don't feel the need to be a mother

[d'Arthez]

As a women, I don't support any idiot, male or female.

How would a single person be women, Elmo?

[Elmo]

How would a single person be women' date=' Elmo?[/quote']

 

 

Wow! A typo made your logic point.

 

Brilliant.

[Art_Critic]

All right this just pisses me off. It's the atitude the the rebulican media has cultivated to justify cutting welfaer spending.

 

How did you go there ?

[Merin]

 

 

Damn! LOL EDIT, EDIT, EDIT Please!

I am being quoted when I didn't say that..

Crap!

[Art_Critic]

 

 

sorry Merin.. I fixed it right away.. it took me less than 2 mins

 

Somebody had a bunch of quote text in the body of their post and it has screwed with the code

[Merin]

sorry Merin.. I fixed it right away.. it took me less than 2 mins

 

 

Thanks.

[hotgurl]

 

 

I don't know where to start with this post. It is ripe.

 

You seem a bit smart. You should learn english.

 

Not all choices are great. A stay at home mom smoking crack and beating her baby is not a great choice.

 

Look up the word valid.

 

As a women, I don't support any idiot, male or female.

 

 

wow only a bit smart, must be all the crack smoking I am doing duh!

 

 

You are using an extreme example to prove whatever your point is.

 

My point was that the choice to have children or not are both valid. and no matter what the choice women should not look down on each other and support each other. ie not be catty, or bitter or rude.

 

 

valid=well based or grounded

 

choice= well thought out plan.

 

ie. the person who makes a choice is assumed to have put some thought into said choice. getting knocked up and smoking crack not so much a a well thought out choice.

 

you are talking about a lifestyle choice that is presumably made in advance.

[lindya]

I've yet to meet a human being who doesn't have underlying "issues".

 

I can't see why not wanting to have children would, in itself, be a dysfunctional thing. If every woman in the world had a strong maternal instinct, then very shortly there wouldn't be room to swing a cat. I think nature has to balance the need for the human species to keep reproducing itself with the need to prevent it from spiralling out of control.

 

Ensuring that some women aren't particularly fussed about having children seems one of the gentler methods of population control (If Mother Nature can ever be described as "gentle"). I'd describe myself as one of those women. I actually quite like kids, but although I can see the pluses and joys of motherhood I'm just not sufficiently sold on the idea to become one myself. I see it as something people make a decision about once they've met their life partner...and even then, some couples decide they're happier just with eachother and a couple of dogs or cats.

 

Maybe that's dysfunctional? Who on earth decides these things? All I know is that provided people are happy with their lot, and not harming others, that's good enough for me.

[hotgurl]

How did you go there ?

 

I was just reading an article earlier about welfare and it got me riled up. Shana's statement made me think about it.

 

It is something that has always bugged me, how people sometimes assume things about young mothers and welfare.

 

Since I am a young mother I have been treated badly because of it. So when someone says something about adding to the welfare roll it gets me going. It is just a prejudicial assumtion.

 

 

When the best things to do to reduce welfare would be to raise wages and have national health care.

 

but I digress and let everyone go back to the original post.

[crazy_grl]

** I don't come off as being better then ANYONE, in any situation! Never. I was brought up to treat others how I would want to be treated. These people don't know how I feel about kids.. Only my boyfriend, my family and you guys here do. I just feel like I am the outcast at these parties because they seem to look at me like what, 28 and no kids, what is wrong with you... Sad but true. Do other women (well some) really follow by the rule of "your here to conceive".. or is it that these mothers look at me odd because I am the one over there hanging out with my guy and their boyfriend in conversation and fun while they are changing the diapers of their kids??

 

Shana, I don't think you're intending to come off as harsh toward mothers as you are. It sounds to me like you respect their decisions and would actually like to be friends with them, but somehow you've gotten the impression that all women who are mothers are looking down on you because you don't have kids yet. And it's started to make you look down on all mothers. They pick up on your attitude and don't want to talk to you because of it, making you resent them more, and the problem will just get worse and worse.

 

But realistically, not all mothers are thinking that. You're projecting it onto them. Instead of seeing the women you meet as mothers, who will have nothing to talk about but babies, diapers and children's book, who are going to resent you for still having a figure, look at them as individual women. Women who might just be dying to finally have a conversation that doesn't involve their kids. If you want to talk about other things, you have to start talking about them. And if the convo gets too child-heavy for you, find a way to politely excuse yourself.

 

Of course, some women are going to be the way you describe. But many aren't, and those are the women you should concern yourself with.

[Elmo]

I was just reading an article earlier about welfare and it got me riled up. Shana's statement made me think about it.

 

It is something that has always bugged me, how people sometimes assume things about young mothers and welfare.

 

Since I am a young mother I have been treated badly because of it. So when someone says something about adding to the welfare roll it gets me going. It is just a prejudicial assumtion.

 

 

When the best things to do to reduce welfare would be to raise wages and have national health care.

 

but I digress and let everyone go back to the original post.

 

The best thing to reduce welfare would be for ignorant, uneducated, unamarried women to not have children.

[Shana]

Thank you Crazy girl.. You said what I tried to get across.

 

Again, free choice for all, to have or not to have kids.. we are lucky as women to have that choice. Tell ya, I would not want to be a man without that special choice.

 

And hot girl.. I did not say ALL single moms are on welfare.. but not saying that I don't see alot of it in my side of the world. Nothing irks me more then to see the mom with 4 babies living off the tax payers and the daddy driving around in a Lexus.. now who's wrong here?

[hotgurl]

or for horny men to stop spreading thier seed or start paying child support.

 

My ex owes me $19,000 in back support. and he has another kid as well that he doesn't pay for.

 

Still even though I am college educated and make an ok wage I was doing alright then I got sick and even with co-pays I spend $200 a month in drugs but I only get 1 sick day a year and lost $7,000 last year in income spent all of my savings that is a pretty hard hit to just suck it up. I may have been able to absurb it had I had better benefits or higher pay or child support as it were I would had been better of it I quit my job and went on welfare. At least my rent would have been paid and I could have put food on the table.

[Outcast]

The best thing to reduce welfare would be for ignorant, uneducated, unamarried women to not have children.

 

(MUST....resist....MUST RESIST)

 

'Ignorant' people include those who think that only

ignorant, uneducated, unamarried women

are on welfare and that women who believe the lies of lying bastard men who marry them and then ditch them when they're pregnant or have kids are 'ignorant' rather than innocent.

[Moose]

The best thing to reduce welfare would be for ignorant, uneducated, unamarried women to not have children.

That's a pretty low blow there Elmo. This kind of mentality really helps doesn't it? Of course, this is only your opinion. Doesn't make it fact.

 

Alot can be said about the horny/drunk men who go out and poke anything moving without concerns of knockin' someone up......can you honestly say that you've never had sex outside of marriage and didn't use protection?

 

If you can, great....if not, I'd have to put you in that catagory which would make you a hypocrite............no offense.

[hotgurl]

it is excatly this kind of attitude why nothing really gets any better in America. It is such black and white narrow minded thinking. that doesn't allow for any actually empathy or progress it is all about blame and and what is being taken away from you ie tax dollars than what could be achieved by helping.

 

but I wouldn't expect you to understand or even listen to someone so ignorant.

[morrigan]

is there something "wrong" with women who don't feel the need to be a mother

 

Not any more than men who don't want children, they are fulfilled by other things in their lives.

 

It's worse if a person has or does not have children due to pressure from an SO or family and regrets the decision later.

[lilmoma1973]

Hey

I definitely don't think it is isn't anything wrong with you .. Maybe it just isn't in the cards for you to be a mother .. It is alot responsibility with being a mother you are nurturing that child for the rest of their life.. I personally couldn't imagine being without my daughter!! She is the light of my life.. I get aggrivated with her and her attitude but i don't regret having her at all she completes me.. I use to not want kids ever but i changed my mind.. I had a ss and thought that was all i wanted ..My H and i decided to have a child and i am so glad ..Right from the moment i conceived i knew i was going to have a daughter i felt it ..I hope you change your mind one day!! It is the greatest expierence you can endure .. I like the fact she needs and wants me!! When i am having a bad day I see that blonde hair blue eyes big eyes and i melt and i know as long as i have her everything will be ok.. How old are you? Maybe you are just too young right now to think about it.. Good luck

[RainyDayWoman]

How old are you? Maybe you are just too young right now to think about it.. Good luck

 

this is exactly the kind of thing that irritates me. my age has little to do with my feelings, i have always felt this way. and yes, i am old enough to make this decision for myself.

 

sure, yes, it may change, anything can change. i personally know, for me, it will not.

 

this post is not whether i personally will want children one day, but rather why some people think that those who honestly do not want them have something wrong in their heads or in their lives.

[crazy_grl]

this is exactly the kind of thing that irritates me. my age has little to do with my feelings, i have always felt this way. and yes, i am old enough to make this decision for myself.

 

That kinda thing really bugs me too. I don't think lilmoma was trying to be disrespectful in any way or that she was suggesting this, but I don't like hearing things like "when you get older or when you get married, you're going to change your mind". Maybe I will, but there's an equally good chance I won't. And I don't like it when people assume that I'm going to feel any differently later just because all women supposedly do.

[RainyDayWoman]

And I don't like it when people assume that I'm going to feel any differently later just because all women supposedly do.

 

right on the money, crazy grl.

[lilmoma1973]

Hey ,

Sorry if i offended you i was only saying i use to not want any because of my age and as i got older i changed my mind ...

[RainyDayWoman]

Hey ,

Sorry if i offended you i was only saying i use to not want any because of my age and as i got older i changed my mind ...

 

i understand. no problem.

[Just-A-Gal]

I'm straight, 39, single and childless. I also happen to work in the field of Early Childhood Education... so I love kids, especially those I don't have to take home with me! I taught preschool in my early 20's and realized then that being a "mom" is not my gig. I've never had the urge to give up my life for others (including a husband). Selfish??? YES! That's why it's a WISE decision for women like us not to have kids, it's selfless selfishness. I have very few 'married-with-children' friends who seem truley happy. I have a few very honest friends with kids who, though they love their kids, wish they had their freedom like I do. I have a lot of stressed out married/parent friends, and i do not envy them, not for one second.

 

What I don't understand is the resentment we sometimes get from some married parental types, the friends who ask over and over and over when you're getting married, 'settling' down and having kids. After a few rounds of these interrogatory questions, I generally say "enough about me, how's your marriage? how often do you have sex these days? anyone having an affair? fighting over money? getting along with the in-laws?" that usually shuts them up!

 

my 2 cents...

[bunnzy]

I think being a mother would be one of the hardest, toughest, and frustrating things anyone could do ever.

 

But I also think it is well worth it.

I havent had a child of my own yet, but look forward to it wholeheartedly. It is an ultimate expression of unselfishness to care for another person and have them rely on you as their moral compass, their taxi, chef, teacher, playmate, role model, and so much more.

 

I cant think af a greater responsibilty or a greater joy.