is there something "wrong" with women who don't feel the need to be a mother

[IhavenoFREAKINclue]

I started a thread about this a few months ago. My mother was furious with me that I didn't want kids. I am very adament about not wanting kids. Not only do i not like them, who says your supposed to get married, have kids, and die? Why is that so deeply written into society as the "mandatory life" people should be living. IMHO, people who decide not to have children are doing a very selfless act. Why bring someone in this world you don't want? And why should we get stoned for not wanting any? You should be thanking us. If we were to have kids, and not want them, give them up for adoption, get placed with this awful family, grow up into the life of crime and rob your house, you would be cursing at the person who had that kid and giving him up. So we'll kill it at the source...........DON'T HAVE KIDS.

[RainyDayWoman]

Don't know RAINYDAYWOMAN....but would you think that men who did not want to work or provide would have "underlying issues"??

 

i would not make that assumption without knowing the individual personally, and certainly not for each and every man on the planet.

[RainyDayWoman]

IMHO, people who decide not to have children are doing a very selfless act. Why bring someone in this world you don't want? And why should we get stoned for not wanting any? You should be thanking us. If we were to have kids, and not want them, give them up for adoption, get placed with this awful family, grow up into the life of crime and rob your house, you would be cursing at the person who had that kid and giving him up. So we'll kill it at the source...........DON'T HAVE KIDS.

 

i am totally with you on this. leave the child-bearing to the ones who want them.

 

i could never understand why some people make it their mission to make you feel like you're a mutant because you don't want to reproduce.

 

so it's like fine, you changed my mind. i am going to have children just for you. and since i don't want them, they are going to grow up resented and treated terribly without a real mother. i will send them to all day kindergarten to boarding school, and when they're not in school, you can baby-sit them. and then when they are 18 i will make sure they move out asap, with no help from me. they will not likely learn love, or affection, or respect. then they will get angry, and turn their anger on other people because mommy didn't love them. then they will hurt someone, and go to court, and you will read the newspaper and say "blah blah blah, another sad childshood story." unless, of course the victim is you.

 

i am not saying i would feel this way if i accidentally had a child (which should be impossible to do in these recent times, except when people are stupid) but many do. and i think a person who does it this way is the one who is imbalanced, not the one who makes a conscious choice about her own body, her own life, and the life of the child that would result otherwise.

[LucreziaBorgia]

i am not saying i would feel this way if i accidentally had a child (which should be impossible to do in these recent times, except when people are stupid) but many do. and i think a person who does it this way is the one who is imbalanced, not the one who makes a conscious choice about her own body, her own life, and the life of the child that would result otherwise.

 

Ouch. That stings. Not everyone who gets "accidentally pregnant" is stupid or imbalanced or incapable of making a conscious choice - sometimes it is product failure.

 

I was on Ortho-Novum 777 (and had been for years) when I got pregnant "accidentally". The only way it is 100% impossible for an accidental pregnancy to happen is if one partner is medically sterile, or has had the 'fertile' parts of the reproductive system removed or surgically altered to prevent any fertilization or conception - or, they abstain from sex and sexual contact.

[RainyDayWoman]

you read that wrong. or rather, my words were convoluted.

 

i meant the parent that has the child without intent and then raises that child in the scenario i put forth before that.

 

i didn't mean people who have accidents are all stupid and imbalanced...just the ones who don't want them and have them anyway and then treat them like nothing.

 

sorry if you were insulted. and i had this whole bif apology until i re- read it and realized how you had taken it.

[Shana]

I DO NOT want kids, neither does my man ... Now, should we both admit ourselfs to the psycho ward because you know, we MUST have underlying issues because we do not want kids??

 

I do not want kids because for one.. I don't want to make the time in my life to care for them, I have so much other in my life, it is full already.

 

I do not want to go through the pregnancy thing, the stretch marks, the changing of the body, the swelling, the eewwww's, nothing like that.

 

I don't see how children change a realtionship for the better (saying things were rough)... because they don't (so many seem to think a kid can change everything)... Kids are workworkwork! Kids take away from your relationship with another.. you used to be hunny and sweetie, now you are Mom and Dad to each other.

 

Young moms have kids to keep their men?? Like that has ever worked right? The only thing that happens there is the welfare line gets longer.

 

I applaud all of you who want and have children ... it is just not for me. We are lucky to have the choice as women to have or not to have. I am greatful that I do have an opportunity if wanted to have children.

 

My guy does not want children because he likes his life as it is, he is not at the beckon of a child, there is no demand for him. He likes to be free of hassle.

 

I am lucky to have a guy who does not want kids. Seems to be the #1 (next to $$$) in relationships.

[Shana]

i am totally with you on this. leave the child-bearing to the ones who want them.

 

i could never understand why some people make it their mission to make you feel like you're a mutant because you don't want to reproduce.

 

Funny story: I went to a party recently (usually rhe same bunch of people) and all the guys were drinking having a good time by the fire, chatting, laughing, doing silly things.................................... while the mothers of 1- 3 kids were in the kitchen and bathrooms or on the sidelines feeding, burping, changing and talking about the latest parenting book that;s out!!!

 

They never talk to me, ever! The guys do though. The women do treat me like an alien.. like whoa, check her out, she is in her 2o's and has no children.. So, I end up by the fire laughing with the guys.. What's that about?? Because I still have my actual figure being late in my 20's and you are all trying to shed the baby fat? I just feel like good for you all, wanting and having kids, but if your going to alienate me, I will you.

 

There still is other things to talk about other then the kids first tooth.. Lots of new mothers seem to forget that not all of us have or want kids, so when you call us up please limit the baby talk...

 

I cannot relate to mothers, they don't let me. I am too the point now that I could care less, I have a relationship that is open and free with my guy, I dont have to call someone to watch the kid if we want to go out, I can buy myself sneakers not have to sacrifice anything for a kid... I don't have to have sticky fingerprints on the windows of my cars, I don't have throw-up stains on my couch .. when the house is clean, it is clean.. I can shower whenever I want, and not cook if I don't want to.. Its a beautiful thing... I just don't like anything about gruby little kids... they are whiney, smelly, none of them look cute until the are grown some.. ahh that felt great!

[hotgurl]

there are two things in this world you are not allowed to dislike kids and dogs. you tell someone you don't like kids or dogs and they look at you like you have two heads.

I had my daughter as a surprise before doctors were telling people that antibotics lessen bc effectiviness I'd probably would have had planned kids. I love my daughther but respect people decision not to have children.

 

I'm not so good around other people kids esp little ones not so much the kids but how the parent reacts. so parents are toucky

 

but man I don't like dogs and i catch a lot of crap for that.

[RainyDayWoman]

there are two things in this world you are not allowed to dislike kids and dogs. you tell someone you don't like kids or dogs and they look at you like you have two heads.

I had my daughter as a surprise before doctors were telling people that antibotics lessen bc effectiviness I'd probably would have had planned kids. I love my daughther but respect people decision not to have children.

 

I'm not so good around other people kids esp little ones not so much the kids but how the parent reacts. so parents are toucky

 

but man I don't like dogs and i catch a lot of crap for that.

 

haha, try not liking children OR all animals!

 

actually, that's an overstatement. i love my sisters' children (one has 3 and one has 2) and i often really enjoy some people's kids. as much as i know that annoying children (like ones that hang over into your booth watching you eat at a restaurant or kick your seat on a train or something) are a product of their parents, it doesn't make me find them any less intolerable. bad parenting might make me feel bad for a child, but doesn't make me enjoy them more, that's for sure. i do think babies are adorable, and i often stop to visit with someone with a newborn...most of them love to show them off. so i get to see them, oooh and ahh, and then i get to walk away.

 

as for animals, i'm not an animal freak. i don't have a problem with them, and often i think they are cute, but i find them too much of a nuisance to take care of. i always loved animals, then i lived with a neglectful pet-owner roommate. it soured the whole deal.

 

so i guess, in reality, it isn't my actual dislike of either, it's my lack of desire to take care of them (unless it is my nieces and nephew.)

 

but i'm not irresponsible, i take very good care of my family, my boyfriend and my friends.

[shamen]

I do not have any desire to have kids either. I am perfectly content being an aunt and working hard. I know that I am far too selfish to deal with a kid in my world. The way that I look at it is: I am glad to know that I feel this way and that I haven't had any kids.

 

Now, who knows? Maybe if I met the right man tomorrow I would feel this overwhelming urge to have babies and all, but I just don't see it happening.

 

Why give up all of the time that I now have to travel and have fun for a kid? My job is already my baby. I've got enough kids with the people that I work with...!

[RainyDayWoman]

I do not have any desire to have kids either. I am perfectly content being an aunt and working hard. I know that I am far too selfish to deal with a kid in my world. The way that I look at it is: I am glad to know that I feel this way and that I haven't had any kids.

 

Now, who knows? Maybe if I met the right man tomorrow I would feel this overwhelming urge to have babies and all, but I just don't see it happening.

 

Why give up all of the time that I now have to travel and have fun for a kid? My job is already my baby. I've got enough kids with the people that I work with...!

 

 

that's why i think it is smart to wait until you're absolutely sure. if you have them and change your mind, you can't do much about it.

 

good for you.

[HokeyReligions]

i hear what you're saying, and a lot of it i do agree with.

 

i do think, though, that for some it might be about the women's movement, but for just as many, it's not--it's really just the lack of desire to have them. i don't think the movement really had much effect on me. i've felt this way since i was little. my sisters would have dolls and feed them and change them...i had dolls too, but i always made them my "friends" not my children.

 

 

I know what you mean. I didn't mean the whole womens movement, but as society progressed to what it is today, women found themselves with more options and opportunities (sought after and thrust upon them) that had an impact on our whole view of parenting. I'm sure there were many women who didn't want children a few hundred years ago either, but they didn't have a choice and some may have wanted them simply so they would have something to do!

 

I think there are a LOT of different factors that have gone into the changing society. Another of which may be because of the population explosion -- we are crowded!

[RainyDayWoman]

I know what you mean. I didn't mean the whole womens movement, but as society progressed to what it is today, women found themselves with more options and opportunities (sought after and thrust upon them) that had an impact on our whole view of parenting. I'm sure there were many women who didn't want children a few hundred years ago either, but they didn't have a choice and some may have wanted them simply so they would have something to do!

 

I think there are a LOT of different factors that have gone into the changing society. Another of which may be because of the population explosion -- we are crowded!

 

definitely! wasn't there even some country that was offering to pay women to have only one child? china maybe? i thought i remembered something like that...

[Merin]

I do not want to go through the pregnancy thing, the stretch marks, the changing of the body, the swelling, the eewwww's, nothing like that.

 

Young moms have kids to keep their men?? Like that has ever worked right? The only thing that happens there is the welfare line gets longer.

 

 

Uh... Gosh Shana thats all okay and good to go that you don't want Kid's, I have zero issue with that...

 

And I'm good to go that you don't want to go through pregnancy as well...

 

BUT being that you've NEVER been pregnant you're not qualified to say what pregnancy is like... not everyone gets stretch marks, not everyone swells to the point it's crazy AND not everyone who's given birth thought it was eww...

 

Secondly I'm a young Mom and I was actually married when I had my Little People... I didn't have them to keep my man I had them because I wanted them. I'll also add that it was MY choice to divorce my kid's Dad AND I'm not on welfare.

 

They never talk to me, ever! The guys do though. The women do treat me like an alien.. like whoa, check her out, she is in her 2o's and has no children.. So, I end up by the fire laughing with the guys.. What's that about?? Because I still have my actual figure being late in my 20's and you are all trying to shed the baby fat?

 

Maybe the Moms don't talk to you because your mind set is this..

 

I just don't like anything about gruby little kids... they are whiney, smelly, none of them look cute until the are grown some.

 

It probably has zero to do with your figure, I've had 2 kids and I have a rockin figure being late in my 20's as well... but would I want to talk to you when I know you think my Kid's are grubby, whiney, smelly and not cute... Hell no.. Would I want to talk to you when you're coming off like there is something wrong with me because I have kids so that somehow makes you better or more attractive.... nope.

 

You don't want to be judged because it is your choice to not have kids... then I guess I wonder why it is you're so judgmental of Women who made the choice to have children...

[FataMorgana]

leave the child-bearing to the ones who want them.

 

How many time have I said this in the past? so funny (and feels so good) to hear someone else say it

 

I'm with you on this one. I've always known I don't particularly want to have children, I simply enjoy my life as it is.

 

There are so many people out there that all they want from very young is to find someone, get married, start a family, raise kids.... I always say let them, good on them, they know what they want, what's wrong with the other women out there also knowing they don't want to have children?

[RainyDayWoman]

How many time have I said this in the past? so funny (and feels so good) to hear someone else say it

 

I'm with you on this one. I've always known I don't particularly want to have children, I simply enjoy my life as it is.

 

There are so many people out there that all they want from very young is to find someone, get married, start a family, raise kids.... I always say let them, good on them, they know what they want, what's wrong with the other women out there also knowing they don't want to have children?

 

well, then welcome to our club!

 

gee, there are sure are a lot of us with "imbalances" out there.....

 

and MERIN, i hear ya....one of my friends had a baby, she looked the same as always until she turned around and she looked like she swallowed a beach ball! i was so jealous, she still looked better than an unpregnant me! then she had the baby and looked even better....grrrrr at those people, but yay for them at the same time!

[Shana]

I do not want to go through the pregnancy thing, the stretch marks, the changing of the body, the swelling, the eewwww's, nothing like that.

 

Young moms have kids to keep their men?? Like that has ever worked right? The only thing that happens there is the welfare line gets longer.

 

Uh... Gosh Shana thats all okay and good to go that you don't want Kid's, I have zero issue with that...

 

And I'm good to go that you don't want to go through pregnancy as well...

 

Maybe the Moms don't talk to you because your mind set is this..

 

 

 

BUT being that you've NEVER been pregnant you're not qualified to say what pregnancy is like... not everyone gets stretch marks, not everyone swells to the point it's crazy AND not everyone who's given birth thought it was eww...

 

** This is just my take on pregnancy. I will not know what it is like, because like you said: I am not qualified. But, tell me your body has not changed whatsoever from having your little people?? Truthfully too please. Something tells me in someway it has because, it has too. There is no way your carring a child and your body is not going to change somehow. ** that is what I meant by that part of my post, but again, I am not qualified to answer, that is why I am asking you :-)

 

 

Secondly I'm a young Mom and I was actually married when I had my Little People... I didn't have them to keep my man I had them because I wanted them. I'll also add that it was MY choice to divorce my kid's Dad AND I'm not on welfare.

 

**My statement of this part does not go for everyone, I apologized for not clarifying. I have read many, many of your posts so I know where you are coming from, also, must ad that from your posts if I did have kids, I would want to be a mom like you.. you have great heart for your kids. I can tell this just from reading your posts. Kudos to you. I was talking about non committed, one night stands, young toooo young people having sex, conceiving children because hey a "doll" would be "fun" to have, or my man will stay if I have a kid .. or vice versa. Then when the kid is born.. Awe Snap! Who's going to pay now?? On the Welfare line we go.

 

This was not meant for moms like you, or Dads either, that chose and had/have a foundation to love and care for their kids.

 

 

... but would I want to talk to you when I know you think my Kid's are grubby, whiney, smelly and not cute... Hell no.. Would I want to talk to you when you're coming off like there is something wrong with me because I have kids so that somehow makes you better or more attractive.... nope.

 

** I don't come off as being better then ANYONE, in any situation! Never. I was brought up to treat others how I would want to be treated. These people don't know how I feel about kids.. Only my boyfriend, my family and you guys here do. I just feel like I am the outcast at these parties because they seem to look at me like what, 28 and no kids, what is wrong with you... Sad but true. Do other women (well some) really follow by the rule of "your here to conceive".. or is it that these mothers look at me odd because I am the one over there hanging out with my guy and their boyfriend in conversation and fun while they are changing the diapers of their kids??

 

You don't want to be judged because it is your choice to not have kids... then I guess I wonder why it is you're so judgmental of Women who made the choice to have children...

 

*** MY CHOICE. I don't like kids, but it is my choice and I could say the same for mothers... WHY ARE YOU SO JUDGEMENTAL OF WOMEN WHO DO NOT WANT KIDS????? *****

[Merin]

and MERIN, i hear ya....one of my friends had a baby, she looked the same as always until she turned around and she looked like she swallowed a beach ball! i was so jealous, she still looked better than an unpregnant me! then she had the baby and looked even better....grrrrr at those people, but yay for them at the same time!

 

LOL I was the same way when I was pregnant! I'm a very small girl to begin with, gained 20 lbs or so with each pregnancy... had 8lbs babies So yeah... I didn't wear maternity clothes because they were to big... My Dad kept saying I looked like I had swallowed a watermelon!

 

Didn't gain in my butt, or thighs...hips didn't spread... good genetics or something... and I never got a single stretch mark either.

 

Left the hospital in my regular jeans and believe it or not... LOL breast feeding helps to lose pregnancy wieght fast!

 

That was just my own little rant on some people saying that all Mom's cannot ever look the same before baby...

 

Thanks for getting me RDW

[crazy_grl]

Wow, so many women who don't want kids. you all. I've never wanted kids, and while maybe I've still got a few issues , I don't think any of them are the cause of it.

 

I have however seen women who want kids for the wrong reasons, which are obviously caused by deep underlying issues. For example, one girl had two kids by two different guys (years apart) in order to trap them into marrying her (she basically raped the second guy while he was drunk). Talk about issues...

 

There are also some people who have kids to try to fill a void in their own lives. I feel that if you're going to have a child, it should be because you have love, devotion, and time to spare, not because you feel an emptiness. I don't think that's the right reason to have a relationship or a baby.

 

I do like children though, as long as they're not mine. I enjoy playing with my niece. We have a lot of fun, and if that was all that was involved, I'd love to have kids. It'd be great to have someone who loves me unconditionally and for whom I'm one of the most important things in their life, and I get to play with every now and then. But I don't want to devote the amount of time it would take to that person, and I certainly don't want to change diapers or clean up all the things that spew from children... not to mention pregnancy and birth, which I don't find at all appealing.

 

I'd much rather live my life with just my partner so that we can focus on our own goals and on maintaining our relationship without having to worry about all the issues that kids bring.

 

Of course, it's great that other people want kids. Humanity would die off pretty quickly if no one did.

[RainyDayWoman]

Wow, so many women who don't want kids. you all. I've never wanted kids, and while maybe I've still got a few issues , I don't think any of them are the cause of it.

 

I have however seen women who want kids for the wrong reasons, which are obviously caused by deep underlying issues. For example, one girl had two kids by two different guys (years apart) in order to trap them into marrying her (she basically raped the second guy while he was drunk). Talk about issues...

 

There are also some people who have kids to try to fill a void in their own lives. I feel that if you're going to have a child, it should be because you have love, devotion, and time to spare, not because you feel an emptiness. I don't think that's the right reason to have a relationship or a baby.

 

I do like children though, as long as they're not mine. I enjoy playing with my niece. We have a lot of fun, and if that was all that was involved, I'd love to have kids. It'd be great to have someone who loves me unconditionally and for whom I'm one of the most important things in their life, and I get to play with every now and then. But I don't want to devote the amount of time it would take to that person, and I certainly don't want to change diapers or clean up all the things that spew from children... not to mention pregnancy and birth, which I don't find at all appealing.

 

I'd much rather live my life with just my partner so that we can focus on our own goals and on maintaining our relationship without having to worry about all the issues that kids bring.

 

Of course, it's great that other people want kids. Humanity would die off pretty quickly if no one did.

 

i concur, crazy_grl. very good points.

[Merin]

** This is just my take on pregnancy. I will not know what it is like, because like you said: I am not qualified. But, tell me your body has not changed whatsoever from having your little people?? Truthfully too please. Something tells me in someway it has because, it has too. There is no way your carring a child and your body is not going to change somehow. ** that is what I meant by that part of my post, but again, I am not qualified to answer, that is why I am asking you :-)

 

And I answered you TRUTHFULLY, don't think so? You're welcome to click on my profile... that is ME, that is MY BODY after 2 Babies. While you're preganant of course your body goes through changes but AGAIN having children does NOT mean that ALL WOMEN lose thier figure, develop stretch marks or become damaged.

 

I have read many, many of your posts so I know where you are coming from, also, must ad that from your posts if I did have kids, I would want to be a mom like you.. you have great heart for your kids. I can tell this just from reading your posts. Kudos to you

 

I appreciate that, Thank you. My Little Peeps are rock stars if I do say so myself LOL love them like crazy!

 

** I don't come off as being better then ANYONE, in any situation! Never. I was brought up to treat others how I would want to be treated. These people don't know how I feel about kids.. Only my boyfriend, my family and you guys here do. I just feel like I am the outcast at these parties because they seem to look at me like what, 28 and no kids, what is wrong with you... Sad but true. Do other women (well some) really follow by the rule of "your here to conceive".. or is it that these mothers look at me odd because I am the one over there hanging out with my guy and their boyfriend in conversation and fun while they are changing the diapers of their kids??

 

Well Shauna I cannot say how the Moms at gatherings feel about you one way or the other... while I'm sure there are some Women who do look at you crazy, I also think some of it may be that although you feel your not showing how you feel about kids it's instinct on the part of the Mom... and some of it may also be that because you have no interest in the PERSON looking at them as a Mom, that it makes that woman/person/mom also feel uncomfortable with you... thinking you wouldn't be interested in her or have anything in common....

 

*** MY CHOICE. I don't like kids, but it is my choice and I could say the same for mothers... WHY ARE YOU SO JUDGEMENTAL OF WOMEN WHO DO NOT WANT KIDS????? *****

 

And I've said it's YOUR CHOICE. There is no where you will ever find that I've said otherwise. I think the problem here IMO is this... this isn't a matter of Women who are ALSO Mom's VS Women who choose NOT to be Mom's and that is the feeling I'm getting from you... when you say why are MOTHERS so judgemental it is a blanket statement and thats what I don't like... I AM a Woman who just happens to be a MOM as well and I don't judge anyone for wanting or NOT wanting Kids.

 

IMO Women should support other Womens choices regardless of a desire to have or not have children.... we are ALL still WOMEN.

[Elmo]

I'm not an expert here but I'll bet anything the percentange falls around the 50% range as to how many women who don't want to have kids have underlying issues.

 

Affected by their upbringing and their past relationships..They are more selfish or hurt by their experiences

 

The other 50% just either haven't had the time or found the right guy or just doesn't want a kid.

 

My nickles worth

 

 

Now, this is interesting. Why do you see things this way?

[hotgurl]

I do not want to go through the pregnancy thing, the stretch marks, the changing of the body, the swelling, the eewwww's, nothing like that.

 

Young moms have kids to keep their men?? Like that has ever worked right? The only thing that happens there is the welfare line gets longer.

 

 

** This is just my take on pregnancy. I will not know what it is like, because like you said: I am not qualified. But, tell me your body has not changed whatsoever from having your little people?? Truthfully too please. Something tells me in someway it has because, it has too. There is no way your carring a child and your body is not going to change somehow. ** that is what I meant by that part of my post, but again, I am not qualified to answer, that is why I am asking you :-)

 

 

 

 

**My statement of this part does not go for everyone, I apologized for not clarifying. I have read many, many of your posts so I know where you are coming from, also, must ad that from your posts if I did have kids, I would want to be a mom like you.. you have great heart for your kids. I can tell this just from reading your posts. Kudos to you. I was talking about non committed, one night stands, young toooo young people having sex, conceiving children because hey a "doll" would be "fun" to have, or my man will stay if I have a kid .. or vice versa. Then when the kid is born.. Awe Snap! Who's going to pay now?? On the Welfare line we go.

 

This was not meant for moms like you, or Dads either, that chose and had/have a foundation to love and care for their kids.

 

 

 

 

** I don't come off as being better then ANYONE, in any situation! Never. I was brought up to treat others how I would want to be treated. These people don't know how I feel about kids.. Only my boyfriend, my family and you guys here do. I just feel like I am the outcast at these parties because they seem to look at me like what, 28 and no kids, what is wrong with you... Sad but true. Do other women (well some) really follow by the rule of "your here to conceive".. or is it that these mothers look at me odd because I am the one over there hanging out with my guy and their boyfriend in conversation and fun while they are changing the diapers of their kids??

 

 

 

*** MY CHOICE. I don't like kids, but it is my choice and I could say the same for mothers... WHY ARE YOU SO JUDGEMENTAL OF WOMEN WHO DO NOT WANT KIDS????? *****

 

 

All right this just pisses me off. It's the atitude the the rebulican media has cultivated to justify cutting welfaer spending.

 

I had my daughter at 16 was not planned. I didn't want to marry the guy and no I didn't go on welfare I went to college and got a career. The majority of people on welfare are stuggleing and working or had hard times.

 

And people like you act as if they are at home eating bon bon and sucking p you money. You know welfare doesn't even cover basic costs.

 

 

anyhow, Both choices are valid but since femnism I have seem a lot of women choosing not to have kids and then looking down at people with kids. It comes off in your atitude and people can tell that's why they are uncomfortable with you.

 

 

Also I know some stay at home moms nad the women who have careers and kids' act like the stay at home moms are nuts. They are all valid life choices. As women we should be supporting each other but in fact we to more to bring each other down than anything else.

[Elmo]

 

 

All right this just pisses me off. It's the atitude the the rebulican media has cultivated to justify cutting welfaer spending.

 

I had my daughter at 16 was not planned. I didn't want to marry the guy and no I didn't go on welfare I went to college and got a career. The majority of people on welfare are stuggleing and working or had hard times.

 

And people like you act as if they are at home eating bon bon and sucking p you money. You know welfare doesn't even cover basic costs.

 

 

anyhow, Both choices are valid but since femnism I have seem a lot of women choosing not to have kids and then looking down at people with kids. It comes off in your atitude and people can tell that's why they are uncomfortable with you.

 

 

Also I know some stay at home moms nad the women who have careers and kids' act like the stay at home moms are nuts. They are all valid life choices. As women we should be supporting each other but in fact we to more to bring each other down than anything else.

 

 

I don't know where to start with this post. It is ripe.

 

You seem a bit smart. You should learn english.

 

Not all choices are great. A stay at home mom smoking crack and beating her baby is not a great choice.

 

Look up the word valid.

 

As a women, I don't support any idiot, male or female.

[Merin]

 

 

I don't know where to start with this post. It is ripe.

 

You seem a bit smart. You should learn english.

 

Not all choices are great. A stay at home mom smoking crack and beating her baby is not a great choice.

 

Look up the word valid.

 

As a women, I don't support any idiot, male or female.

 

Whoa..

 

First.. It's quoted that I said that, and I didn't.

Secondly I think the point Hotgurl was trying to make is that having children or NOT having children are both valid that what is right for one person may not be right for another.

 

No where in her post did I see that she was getting at crack smoking Moms beating their kids is a great choice..

 

She wasn't saying that because we are Women we should all rally and support an abusive, or negletful Mother simply because we are of the same gender.

 

What I personally got from her post was that there isn't any reason to make this a Mom vs Not a Mom issue...