elaine567 Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 You're wife obviously has issues too, in that she has accepted this and that she has shown a willingness to stay no matter what you do. I guess the fact she has 5 kids may have something to do with that... Not easy to just walk away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 I cheated on my wife with two different women. I am a ****ty person, I'll admit it. Things with this OW were not as serious or intense as with the OW, so felt like it wasn't a horrible thing to do. I love my kids and wife. We've been together longer than any of our friends and we are proud of it. People look up to us as good example of marriage. I want a family, that's why I stay. Also I've seen you talk about your image and the way people look up to you as an example several times. You are proud of it but how can you feel proud of a lie? When people tell you that you have a marriage and family they admire how can you not feel like a fraud? The people who admire you do so because they don't know who you really are. They are not really admiring you, the person they admire doesn't exist. You are not better than your divorced friends. Your divorced friends were brave enough to be authentic and to be honest about what they really wanted out of life. They didn't want to live in a broken lie of a marriage so they did something about it. Not saying being honest and authentic always leads to divorce. Some people are able to fix their broken marriages but they do that by being real and true, not by being fake, protecting a false image, while sneaking around. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 I guess the fact she has 5 kids may have something to do with that... Not easy to just walk away. True, but I believe the first three are grown already. Pretty sure the OP said there are only 2 still at home in one of his other threads 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst68 Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 Why do you feel sorry for my W? She knew who she was marrying. I had an unresolved past when we met. And I've cheated on her during the marriage. It was her choice to keep staying. You say this and then go on to say people look at you as a good example of a marriage. Can you even see the hypocrisy in this? In the way you treat your wife, by your posts here you definitely see her her as second class even last chance resort. We say poor woman because we doubt you are authentic with her, does she know you creep on your OW social media wishing you were with your 'true love' instead of being invested in her and your marriage. You are there by your own choice. I'm sure you knew contraception worked so youhiso can't use the trapped by children excuse. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 True, but I believe the first three are grown already. Pretty sure the OP said there are only 2 still at home in one of his other threads Yes but pretty young as he said 7-10 years till they are grown up. But sure, not impossible for her to be a single mom with two kids. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 Serve papers just for a simple happy birthday wish? Sounds extreme. My W won't do that. No matter what has happened over the years, she has always pursued me and the relationship. Yes, she has put up with my crap repeatedly. It's her choice. That made me feel sick to read. That's really sad and messed up. You must feel pretty awesome about yourself - two women who want you no matter how sh**y you treat them. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 Maybe the W would be hurt. But just know that it won't last. She's not going to leave. Which, based on the fact that you feel this way, gives you permission to continue treating her like crap - this the fact that you have not gone “no contact” with the OW and the birthday message. You are responsible for your own decisions, and if you treat your wife like crap it’s entirely your responsibility - whether she chooses to stay or leave is rather irrelevant. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 You have absolutely no idea what love is, OP. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 That made me feel sick to read. That's really sad and messed up. You must feel pretty awesome about yourself - two women who want you no matter how sh**y you treat them. ...three women... Link to post Share on other sites
ABernie Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 As an OW on LC, this hit me in the gut. I hope a year is enough time for your fOW to have recovered. Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 I think the OP is here to stir the pot 3 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 Serve papers just for a simple happy birthday wish? Sounds extreme. My W won't do that. No matter what has happened over the years, she has always pursued me and the relationship. Yes, she has put up with my crap repeatedly. It's her choice. And that's why you still have contact with the OW. You don't respect your wife. Your actions are not out of loving your wife. Is your goal to cause harm to women? Looks like that's what you're doing. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 I cheated on my wife with two different women. I am a ****ty person, I'll admit it. Things with this OW were not as serious or intense as with the OW, so felt like it wasn't a horrible thing to do. I love my kids and wife. We've been together longer than any of our friends and we are proud of it. People look up to us as good example of marriage. I want a family, that's why I stay. Hmmm, you must have pretending down pat. Love doesn't look like this. Your whole life is a sham. Congratulations. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Luvmykidz Posted November 17, 2018 Author Share Posted November 17, 2018 You have absolutely no idea what love is, OP. I thought I did. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Luvmykidz Posted November 17, 2018 Author Share Posted November 17, 2018 That made me feel sick to read. That's really sad and messed up. You must feel pretty awesome about yourself - two women who want you no matter how sh**y you treat them. No I don't feel awesome about myself. And the only woman that wants me is my W. I can't say I blame the ow's for wanting nothing to do with me now. I made my bed and now I'm laying in it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Luvmykidz Posted November 17, 2018 Author Share Posted November 17, 2018 Hmmm, you must have pretending down pat. Love doesn't look like this. Your whole life is a sham. Congratulations. I think I have mastered the skill of hiding what's beneath. You're right. My life is ****. I want out but don't know how to get out without ruining things even more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Luvmykidz Posted November 17, 2018 Author Share Posted November 17, 2018 As an OW on LC, this hit me in the gut. I hope a year is enough time for your fOW to have recovered. The one I'm really into wants nothing to do with me. So it looks like she's recovered. I hate that but it's best to leave well enough alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Luvmykidz Posted November 17, 2018 Author Share Posted November 17, 2018 Which, based on the fact that you feel this way, gives you permission to continue treating her like crap - this the fact that you have not gone “no contact” with the OW and the birthday message. You are responsible for your own decisions, and if you treat your wife like crap it’s entirely your responsibility - whether she chooses to stay or leave is rather irrelevant. As usual, you're a tough crowd. I know I won't receive any mercy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Luvmykidz Posted November 17, 2018 Author Share Posted November 17, 2018 I guess the fact she has 5 kids may have something to do with that... Not easy to just walk away. My W doesn't have five kids. I had a few before I met her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Luvmykidz Posted November 17, 2018 Author Share Posted November 17, 2018 But can't you show her enough respect and let the OW go? OK. Blocking her is on the table. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Luvmykidz Posted November 17, 2018 Author Share Posted November 17, 2018 (edited) By reading your first thread it seems that you had 5 children with her, three before you even got married. But when you write the history of your marriage you make it sound like you only got married because of the kids, like you never loved your wife you just got trapped by pregnancy. Yet you managed not to marry her after the first kid, and you managed not to marry her after the second kid. It was only when the third kid came along that you decided to marry. If you never loved your wife like you love the OW then why keep getting her pregnant? You have complained that your wife neglects you but how much attention could she give you when there were all those kids to attend to? I had children prior to meeting my W. My W had two babies for me before I decided to marry her. And the kids are pre-teens and beyond now. They don't require much anymore. Edited November 17, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
TheRainbow Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 If you are so unhappy then leave, let your wife go find someone who wants her. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 I had children prior to meeting my W. My W had two babies for me before I decided to marry her. And the kids are pre-teens and beyond now. They don't require much anymore. What? Your kids don't require much anymore? How much time do YOU spend with them? Spend time with any kid - especially young (yes, yours are young) and tell me how much they require. A TON! Mine are late twenties and I still spend plenty of time with them. They want input and guidance still - as they are navigating the real world. Do you ever help your wife at home? What does that look like? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 I think I have mastered the skill of hiding what's beneath. You're right. My life is ****. I want out but don't know how to get out without ruining things even more. Ya... get out...your wife deserve way better. Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst68 Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 It almost sounds like it's the fact your wife wants and loves you that makes you disrespect and treat her so disdainfully. You seem content to be miserable and just creep on these women's social media while they ignore you. If you don't want to live a life with a real woman who lives you then man up and admit everything to her. Let her go, she deserves to be loved 100%. Link to post Share on other sites
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