Did I come on too strong? [Updated discussion]

[d0nnivain]

You don't ask.

 

The rule is if the two people never had a discussion about being exclusive, they are not.

 

You don't make promises. You just act. Kiss her. If she asks you don't lie. You can however change the subject. If she says no to an action, then it's no.

 

Otherwise talking will ruin this because she will take it as an insult that you think she's "that kind of girl."

 

You really are not wired this way & you are going to get hurt. This girl is not your speed.

[Tagalz]

You don't ask.

 

The rule is if the two people never had a discussion about being exclusive, they are not.

 

You don't make promises. You just act. Kiss her. If she asks you don't lie. You can however change the subject. If she says no to an action, then it's no.

 

Otherwise talking will ruin this because she will take it as an insult that you think she's "that kind of girl."

 

You really are not wired this way & you are going to get hurt. This girl is not your speed.

 

Why am I going to get hurt? Me and her wants the same thing (:

[d0nnivain]

Why am I going to get hurt? Me and her wants the same thing (:

 

No you don't. You keep saying you are OK with FWB but your other statements about wanting to take her to the trampoline park or the laser tag thing and wanting to talk, wanting to cook together, wanting to tag her on social media. . . all of that screams that you want a relationship. It's wonderful to want that. Relationships are awesome, with the right person.

 

She's too young & at this point probably too damaged to want a meaningful emotional connection with another human being. She equates sex with love, then doesn't understand why all these other guys leave her.

 

You are the nice guy that girls like her -- the ones perpetually chasing the bad boys searching for their own self esteem in all the wrong beds or backseats -- chew up & spit out.

 

What you also don't realize is I am a middle aged woman telling you all this. If you actually had a so-called "alpha male" giving you dating advice here it would be much cruder.

[PRW]

What you also don't realize is I am a middle aged woman telling you all this. If you actually had a so-called "alpha male" giving you dating advice here it would be much cruder.

 

 

Our own in-house Alpha Male on staff didn't chime in yet

[PRW]

Then I just see what is happends after I have sex with her.

 

Yes there is something that says she wants FWB like she had hooked up with other guys and tried it twice with me. Now she is coming to my place without me inviting her over. She just said: "Yeah I'm coming over"

 

Also she asked me not to leave her because of that guy that left her. If that does say something

 

 

I think this chick is whacked in the head and is bad news. You might even catch something from her. I didn't tell you anything I told you so the two of your can "hit it off" and live happily ever after. The things I told you are for your own sake for whatever comes up in the future.

[Tagalz]

No you don't. You keep saying you are OK with FWB but your other statements about wanting to take her to the trampoline park or the laser tag thing and wanting to talk, wanting to cook together, wanting to tag her on social media. . . all of that screams that you want a relationship. It's wonderful to want that. Relationships are awesome, with the right person.

 

She's too young & at this point probably too damaged to want a meaningful emotional connection with another human being. She equates sex with love, then doesn't understand why all these other guys leave her.

 

You are the nice guy that girls like her -- the ones perpetually chasing the bad boys searching for their own self esteem in all the wrong beds or backseats -- chew up & spit out.

 

What you also don't realize is I am a middle aged woman telling you all this. If you actually had a so-called "alpha male" giving you dating advice here it would be much cruder.

 

Me wanting to cook for her was because I wanted relationship yes but I’m not sure If I wanted FWB that day. Some days have gone and I have had time to think and I am sure now that I want it now. I’m fine as long as she don’t leave me because what I have with her now is better than just «friends»

 

it does not have anything to say If she wants a bad guy or a nice guy. She would have hooked up with both. She just have to get older and then realise that she wants a BF.

 

Asking her to go on a date that day was a big mistake....

 

 

My friends says that I think too much and I need to have sex with her and see what happends. If she wants more sex she would contact me after that. But they also say It would be nice if I also contact her.

 

No I did not know you were middle aged woman but too me you give the best advice and even better than my friend. You have more experience than me too

Edited November 8, 2018 by Tagalz

[Tagalz]

 

My friends says that I think too much and I need to have sex with her and see what happends. If she wants more sex she would contact me after that. But they also say It would be nice if I also contact her.

 

 

Here is what I’m going to do when she’s coming over:

 

First I put on some music, and when she comes I offer her red wine. After that we have small talk like «how are you doing»? Just to minimize awkwardness. Then we watch netflix, she can decide movie if she has any idea, if not we’ll watch daredevil.

 

While it’s going on I start to kiss her and see how she reacts. If it’s positive sign then I slowly go down and baaam we are fcking.

 

What about after? I ask her if she wants to come with me and watch a movie in the cinema. If she have excuse or say no I’m fine with that.

 

I walk her out of my apartment and I’ll say this: «We should do this more often!» and as for follwing her home... no... to minimize awkwardness

Edited November 9, 2018 by Tagalz

[Tagalz]

That said, if you two are in a committed exclusive relationship because you two talked & she agreed to that, she should not be hooking up with others when she goes out. If she does hook up with others after agreeing to be your GF & only be with you, that would be cheating.

 

I suspect she's not ready for that level of commitment & she's too busy having fun. The only way to find out is to ask her on a date. On the date, give her a kiss. After the date, talk to her about your expectations & having a relationship.

 

Replying to your old comment because that’s why I feel like I should do. The date is for next week and we are going to eat dinner and then watch movie at a cinema.

 

So your saying that If she does agree do date me exlusively then she can’t hook up with other guys?

 

If so then that would be my suggestion to her.

 

Because she sent me this at night «OMG I just want to party, be drunk and stay up until 05:00 in the morning»

 

So this is what I would say on the date:

 

«It’s okay for me that you go to parties, but promise you WON’T hook up»

Edited November 10, 2018 by Tagalz

[PRW]

Replying to your old comment because that’s why I feel like I should do. The date is for next week and we are going to eat dinner and then watch movie at a cinema.

 

So your saying that If she does agree do date me exlusively then she can’t hook up with other guys?

 

If so then that would be my suggestion to her.

 

Because she sent me this at night «OMG I just want to party, be drunk and stay up until 05:00 in the morning»

 

So this is what I would say on the date:

 

«It’s okay for me that you go to parties, but promise you WON’T hook up»

 

Dude, you're whole approach to any of this is just all screwed up and your ability to process people's actions and intentions by what they say and do seems to be out of sync.

 

I'm really not trying to be insulting or anything like that, but you really have got to wake up. You are approaching this like a child.

 

Get Corey Wayne's book "How to Be a 3% Man". Read it.

[Gaeta]

Because she sent me this at night «OMG I just want to party, be drunk and stay up until 05:00 in the morning»

 

So this is what I would say on the date:

 

«It’s okay for me that you go to parties, but promise you WON’T hook up»

 

 

Why do you want to date someone that is a party animal? She has things to experience and being in a relationship isn't one of them. Look for girls your age that have already partied and want to have a bf.

 

 

 

Dating this girl is only bad news. You'll always wonder if she's hooking up, who she is out with, what could she be doing while drunk, where did she crash for the night, were there guys where she crashed for the night, is she telling you the truth, does she even remember the truch, etc etc etc, WHY would you want to put yourself through that?

[Tagalz]

Dude, you're whole approach to any of this is just all screwed up and your ability to process people's actions and intentions by what they say and do seems to be out of sync.

 

I'm really not trying to be insulting or anything like that, but you really have got to wake up. You are approaching this like a child.

 

Get Corey Wayne's book "How to Be a 3% Man". Read it.

 

So what do you suggest I do then?

[Tagalz]

Why do you want to date someone that is a party animal? She has things to experience and being in a relationship isn't one of them. Look for girls your age that have already partied and want to have a bf.

 

 

So your saying that I should wait for her to be done with the parties? That would be me waiting for maximum 5 years... Girls here in Oslo have high standards...

[Gaeta]

So your saying that I should wait for her to be done with the parties? That would be me waiting for maximum 5 years... Girls here in Oslo have high standards...

I am saying move on, go date women your age, with your level of maturity, who are in the same place in life as you are. Is there something keeping you from connecting with women your age? Why do you fall for teen girls?

[Tagalz]

I am saying move on, go date women your age, with your level of maturity, who are in the same place in life as you are. Is there something keeping you from connecting with women your age? Why do you fall for teen girls?

 

Yes it is a reason. Because my way of thinking and acting is not as like a 22 year old. More so of acting and thinking as a 18-19 year old. Even some of you and my parents say that and I totally agree.

 

Or I could just go with the flow. Since she wants to party I could take her out when she's 18. OR I could have parties at my house. The only downside to that is that whenever she feel like to party she could contact me. Meaning she would use me.

[Tagalz]

Since me and her have only been hanging out in not a romantic setting then I have to go on dates with her.

 

The date is today and my goal is to let her know that I also want to party and that we can go together. If she agrees then we party together, but for me it's a way of testing her. If she however does hook up, then I'll know she won't look for relationship.

 

Other than that on the 2th date we'll have fun. I only have the talk with her of being exclusive on the 3rd date and see how she answers.

 

That is my plan. I know it's a douchbag move to test her, but I'll have to do it to see if she's loyal.

 

Now you're thinking why 3rd date to have the talk? Because at this point I'm not sure If I want to date a girl that wants to party. And with going on dates then I'll be more sure if I want to date her or not.

[PRW]

Quote:

Originally Posted by PRW

Dude, you're whole approach to any of this is just all screwed up and your ability to process people's actions and intentions by what they say and do seems to be out of sync.

 

I'm really not trying to be insulting or anything like that, but you really have got to wake up. You are approaching this like a child.

 

Get Corey Wayne's book "How to Be a 3% Man". Read it.

So what do you suggest I do then?

The last line of the post you just replied to.

 

"Get Corey Wayne's book "How to Be a 3% Man". Read it"

 

Yes it is a reason. Because my way of thinking and acting is not as like a 22 year old. More so of acting and thinking as a 18-19 year old. Even some of you and my parents say that and I totally agree

Yes, your responses and your reasoning in this completely child-like. I'm not being insulting, just factual. So I'm echoing and affirming what your parents are saying. You really should not date,...or be screwing around with girls (literally),... until you can educate yourself on things and have a more adult viewpoint on this. Otherwise you are destine to just be miserable and probably have a collection of STDs.

[Tagalz]

you really should not date,...or be screwing around with girls (literally),... until you can educate yourself on things and have a more adult viewpoint on this. Otherwise you are destine to just be miserable and probably have a collection of STDs.

 

Well I'm still in my early 20s so I also want to have fun too. I'll use protection if I have to.

 

Okay, so I'll get Corey Wayne's book, but that doesn't mean I'll have more adult viewpoint. He's book is just for relationships

[Gaeta]

Yes it is a reason. Because my way of thinking and acting is not as like a 22 year old. More so of acting and thinking as a 18-19 year old.

Sorry, 18 year old boys don't want to lock girls in relationship and exclusivity like you do. You are 22 and you should start acting your age. You need to emotionally grow up otherwise girls will always take advantage of you and leave you bitter. At your age you should be interested in something else than going after a teen girl. Are you done with University? do you work?

[Tagalz]

Sorry, 18 year old boys don't want to lock girls in relationship and exclusivity like you do. You are 22 and you should start acting your age. You need to emotionally grow up otherwise girls will always take advantage of you and leave you bitter. At your age you should be interested in something else than going after a teen girl. Are you done with University? do you work?

 

I do work yes and I'm done with university. I am interested in something else like football. I also look for other girls on tinder

[PRW]

Well I'm still in my early 20s so I also want to have fun too. I'll use protection if I have to.

 

Okay, so I'll get Corey Wayne's book, but that doesn't mean I'll have more adult viewpoint. He's book is just for relationships

 

 

No. His book is a self-improvement book for men, within the context of dating and relationship. If you get from the book what Corey Wayne intends for you to gain it will help you in all parts of your life.

[d0nnivain]

Well I'm still in my early 20s so I also want to have fun too. I'll use protection if I have to.

 

Okay, so I'll get Corey Wayne's book, but that doesn't mean I'll have more adult viewpoint. He's book is just for relationships

 

No, his book is about how to develop self confidence. Most of what all PUA gurus spout is drivel but for a guy like you it will be gold because you have this all backwards. You have to stop sniffing after this girl some sort of homeless puppy begging for scraps.

 

I bolded the above because of course you are REQUIRED to use protection!!! You are setting yourself up for a pregnancy you can't handle and/or a life time of disease, possibly a fatal one, if you fail to use protection. We have already established this this teen you fancy has an active & robust sex life. You have no idea where she's been & or what you could possibly catch from her. Use a condom. Don't be a fool.

[Tagalz]

We have already established this this teen you fancy has an active & robust sex life. You have no idea where she's been & or what you could possibly catch from her. Use a condom. Don't be a fool.

 

I did and I’m aware of that (:

[Tagalz]

We were originally planning to eat and then go to cinema, but she had to clean her place so we just watched movies.

 

I didn’t ask her anything about exclusive. But I asked her for a 2th date on her birthday and she said that she need time to move to a new apartment.

 

When I asked her the week after she said that she need to do homework...

 

Well why didn’t she make a counter offer? I'm the one who asked for that, so it's most likely that she say no next time I ask in a few weeks.

 

There is a lot going on in my mind... like what went wrong...

 

Looking back here is what I asked her:

 

"Do you party a lot?"

 

She said: "No but I want to, I just don't know people who hosts parties"

 

I said: "Let's go together"

 

She said "Sure"

 

So the only thing she said yes to is to party, but comes up with excuses when I ask for 2th date.

Edited November 13, 2018 by Tagalz

[Tagalz]

 

Looking back here is what I asked her:

 

"Do you party a lot?"

 

She said: "No but I want to, I just don't know people who hosts parties"

 

I said: "Let's go together"

 

She said "Sure"

 

So the only thing she said yes to is to party, but comes up with excuses when I ask for 2th date.

 

Okay so she might have ended things on the dating side but it might not be over after all?

 

She clearly wants fwb. She talk about it often so in a few days I could ask her if she has anything planned. If she says no then I’ll say come over.

 

Even tho I want relationship I can accept to have fwb because it might turn into relationship.

 

A new plan: I’ll enjoy fwb with her and see where it goes. If I don’t like it then I’ll end it and look for other girls.

[d0nnivain]

OEven tho I want relationship I can accept to have fwb because it might turn into relationship.

 

No it won't. They never do. All that happens is the person who thinks FWB will turn into a relationship gets their heart broken.