Did I come on too strong? [Updated discussion]

[Normm]

I was making a clever pun.

 

 

If I can get @MidwestUSA to this thread I bet she'd figure it out in a second.

[sabaton]

I was making a clever pun.

 

 

If I can get @MidwestUSA to this thread I bet she'd figure it out in a second.

 

 

haha. Well, I'm not a very smart man.

[Tagalz]

.

 

 

1 - she's 18. She has the entire world at her feet.

2- Every man who is going to come across her is going to be sexually attracted to her.

3- she has endless options with men.

4- Unless she belongs to a more sexually forward female culture like say, Southern European women, she doesn't have to put in any of the work.

5- she doesn't feel feminine if you act in a shy manner and go about getting what you want(sex/her to become your girlfriend) like you are intimidated by her and afraid of rejection.

 

True but let's just see what happends after I ask her... I will update you on how it goes.

Edited October 31, 2018 by Tagalz

[Tagalz]

The only way I could talk about having a relationship is when we are walking home. It's awkward having that type of conversations on the buss or in the train. You see because in Oslo most of the people tries to avoid eye contact.

 

So when we are talking about that most people would look at us like we are presenting something hahah. That makes me uncomfortable because I'm talking to her and not them

 

Is it not too soon to talk about expectations? If I say I want a relationship and her to be loyal it could scare her

 

D0nnivain, I hope you read this since it got kinda swept away by my other comments.

 

One more thing. I have to take things slow. First when she come over I ask her out on a date and if she says yes then I talk about having a relationship on the way home.

 

But when is it a good timing for me to ask her out? I’m either thinking after the movie is finished or when we are eating. Also do you have any idea what we could make?

Edited November 1, 2018 by Tagalz

[d0nnivain]

D0nnivain, I hope you read this since it got kinda swept away by my other comments.

 

One more thing. I have to take things slow. First when she come over I ask her out on a date and if she says yes then I talk about having a relationship on the way home.

 

But when is it a good timing for me to ask her out? I’m either thinking after the movie is finished or when we are eating. Also do you have any idea what we could make?

 

 

You are sooooo overthinking this. All the fretting is going to make you crazy & nervous.

 

 

Just be normal. Talk to her as the conversation flows. You have known her a while. Things should be easy.

[Tagalz]

You are sooooo overthinking this. All the fretting is going to make you crazy & nervous.

 

 

Just be normal. Talk to her as the conversation flows. You have known her a while. Things should be easy.

 

Of course I'm overthinking! I have to play the cards right this time... But do you prefer to make dinner together or that I have it ready before she comes?

 

I still don't know if she could come on saturday or sunday though... because on saturday I want to relax and on sunday I'm free from work but the grocery stores are closed that day so it have to be saturday I think

 

Also I don't have to get my hopes high for her to say yes. If she rejects that then I have to be okay with it.

Edited November 1, 2018 by Tagalz

[Tagalz]

A little update!

 

I ask you for advice on what I could make when she comes over, but it seems like no one has replied. I decided to make taco's.

 

+ She just said that she has been trough a lot and she might be sad but tries not to let it get to her. I said she could talk about it so that she could get it off her chest.

 

She tells me that she had a drama with a guy and he left her. Should I be worried that she might use me to be happy?

 

It could also be that she opens up to me cause she has a lot to think about. If I listen and show that I care I would make her happy.

Edited November 3, 2018 by Tagalz

[Tagalz]

Where is everyone?

[Tagalz]

She might go out on a date with you but that is no guarantee she wants from you want you want from her, but there's no harm in trying your luck.

 

Answering your old comment because I met her today and we talked about it. She agreed to go on date and what she wants from me is to not leave her..

 

She told me that there was a guy that just dissapeared after they hooked up and she feels betrayed and lost

[LoverOfDance]

Hi Tagalz, I read the original post but not the entire thread. If she likes Tacos then Tacos was a good pick.

 

I think you should talk to this girl and be as CLEAR as you can be about your intentions.

 

I'm not sure about the whole encounter with the guy who left her. If this is something she is still upset about then ask her if she needs time to heal. Let her know you'll be there to help her through it. Like i said before, make sure she knows that you like her romantically and would like to date her when she has healed and is ready to date.

[Tagalz]

Hi Tagalz, I read the original post but not the entire thread. If she likes Tacos then Tacos was a good pick.

 

I think you should talk to this girl and be as CLEAR as you can be about your intentions.

 

I'm not sure about the whole encounter with the guy who left her. If this is something she is still upset about then ask her if she needs time to heal. Let her know you'll be there to help her through it. Like i said before, make sure she knows that you like her romantically and would like to date her when she has healed and is ready to date.

 

Hi Loverofdance!

 

Nice to see someone who is still there altough this tread is dead. Yes I know the thread is messy but no need to read from the beginning.

 

Yes we had a talk about that guy too. She don’t seem to be upset and she said that she had already forgot him.. and I trust her enough to believe that.

 

I told her to forget him and that she could trust me and then I went for the kiss.

 

After I got home she said that she had done alot of bad things in the past and was asking me to not leave her. I said I’m not but I ask you to be loyal too.

 

I have made my intentions clear. I asked her out on a date and for her to be loyal. I’m not going to say straight away that I want to be her boyfriend.. asking her on a date says that for me (:

[d0nnivain]

Good for you. Hopefully she picks you.

[Tagalz]

Good for you. Hopefully she picks you.

 

I hope so too and thanks alot for the help! I would not make it without you. Even at a age of 22 I’m not experienced when it comes to dating. Sure I have friends that are both girls and males but I have been with more guys than girls not in a gay way but I mean I have more friends that are guys

 

[]

Edited November 4, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Topical content

[Tagalz]

 

If she does agree to the date, fasten your seatbelt. I have a feeling you are in for a ride you don't expect. But be cautious.

 

Even tho she agreed to go on a date she could back off anytime I mention it or she could find a excuse for not going. All that because I haven't made any plans for when we are going out. I just met her yesterday and want to avoid talking about it and give her a breathing room because as everyone said I'm getting too attached too fast. before her 18th birthday I tell her that the date is on your birthday. Sure she will be happy

[d0nnivain]

Even tho she agreed to go on a date she could back off anytime I mention it or she could find a excuse for not going. All that because I haven't made any plans for when we are going out. I just met her yesterday and want to avoid talking about it and give her a breathing room because as everyone said I'm getting too attached too fast. before her 18th birthday I tell her that the date is on your birthday. Sure she will be happy

 

 

Oh you are so frustrating.

 

She is NOT the one who needs space. You do. Your friends are right. You are too attached. She doesn't give a flying fig.

 

She is also used to boys who move waaaayyyyy faster then you do. The more you delay, the less likely she is to say yes. She wants a man of action not an insecure boy who sits around dithering & wringing his hands. Just stop already.

 

Ask her on a date for next Friday. Do not wait until her birthday. You are putting too much sentimental stock in that. She doesn't care. Get that through your head now. You are dreaming about romance. She's into having a good time.

 

In the end this girl is going to break your heart because you are too slow & deep for her.

[Tagalz]

 

Ask her on a date for next Friday. Do not wait until her birthday. You are putting too much sentimental stock in that. She doesn't care. Get that through your head now. You are dreaming about romance. She's into having a good time.

 

In the end this girl is going to break your heart because you are too slow & deep for her.

 

I know I'm frustrating but it's because I don't have experience with dating.

 

I have had time to think and she wants me to be her friend rather than having a relationship here is the reasons:

 

1. She told me that she had trust issues because of a guy that she had hooked up with just disappeared. - Cause I'm a friend that she trusts that's why she had to let it out.

2. Invited me to the party and then give me sign that she wants to get laid. - A sign that she wants fun.

3. After the movie she also gives me sign... like poking my nose, laying her head at my shoulders She was also trying to see if there was any spark as she was just starring at me after the movie. we sat towards each other and had eye contact. - One more reason that she wants to have fun.

4. When I got home she sends me a message telling me she has done a lot of bad things in the past and asked me to not leave her - Meaning not to leave her as a friend

 

She comes to me and let it all out that means I'm a friend that she trusts. Also that indicates she is not interested in me, but might want casual sex hence the nr 2 and 3. the number 4 is the most important sign that she wants to be my friend.

 

you mean I ask her this friday? It's monday now. Forget friday I can ask her as soon as next tuesday. It would go great with what I have planned. It’s this new movie called fantastic beasts 2 that she wants to see. It will be movie first and then dinner.

Edited November 5, 2018 by Tagalz
Had to correct some words that I wrote wrong

[Tagalz]

 

In the end this girl is going to break your heart because you are too slow & deep for her.

 

Too slow and deep for what? I Don’t get it

[beautifulearth83]

Since you are already sort of seeing each other, I would just kiss her when/if the moment seems right. Then if there is electricity, you can propose being together.

[sabaton]

Of course I'm overthinking! I have to play the cards right this time... But do you prefer to make dinner together or that I have it ready before she comes?

Why are you making such a big ordeal out of this? it's a date. She's 18, not 30. She isn't expecting a dinner date worked to the 9s by the best cooks from Oslo. You're getting all nervous and anxious about it and that is going to make the date awkward.

 

Take her out to some fast food cheap joint, or a movie. Find out what sort of movies she is into, then check what's being shown on the cinemas in Oslo, and then take her out.

 

Get to the mall(with her with you) a few hours before the movie starts so that the two of you can spend time together, talking and getting to know each other, and don't have expectations. Don't think. Just feel. Just react to the stimulus that she sends back to you.

 

I still don't know if she could come on saturday or sunday though... because on saturday I want to relax and on sunday I'm free from work but the grocery stores are closed that day so it have to be saturday I think

You could relax while being in her company. Imagine that. Spending time with a pretty girl. Nothing more relaxing than that. Or you could schedule the date for sunday, and then you can always go grocery-shopping on friday or saturday, to get the provisions for saturday.

 

Also I don't have to get my hopes high for her to say yes. If she rejects that then I have to be okay with it.

haha, yes. If she rejects it, that's fine. You get the message that she isn't interested in sleeping with you, and you can move on to the thousands of pretty Norwegian girls that live in Oslo and find yourself someone who is really attracted to you.

[sabaton]

She just said that she has been trough a lot and she might be sad but tries not to let it get to her. I said she could talk about it so that she could get it off her chest.

The last thing you want to do if you want to sleep with this girl or to become her boyfriend is for you to go ahead and turn yourself into her personal best male gay friend or shrink

 

Don't do that. Don't give girls a shoulder to cry on, because if you do that they are going to use that shoulder to cry all of their personal little dramas, and they're going to never see you as you want you to be seen by a particular girl that you have your eyes on - as someone fun, someone they want to have sex with.

 

She tells me that she had a drama with a guy and he left her. Should I be worried that she might use me to be happy?

This girl literally talks to you about guys she slept with, guys that she hooked up with, and she tells you of the problems she's having with other guys? Girls don't do that.

 

When they want to sleep with a guy they don't make it so that the guy thinks she's sleeping with other guys, that they're dating other guys.

 

But she does it. Which makes me think she is not all that interested in dating you, nor in sleeping with you, and she just sees you as a friend. Does she even know this that you have planned is a date? Or does she think you're just wanting to hang out with her?

 

It could also be that she opens up to me cause she has a lot to think about. If I listen and show that I care I would make her happy

And then if you do that you end up in the friendzone and you spend the next 3 years or 5 or 10 pinning after this girl while she goes from guy to guy, coming back to you to complain about Johnny or Brad and how they sleep with her and then they don't bother calling her during the day.

 

Nah, bro. It's time you man up and you go up to that girl and you hit on her. Flirt with her, tease her, try to kiss her. If she doesn't flirt with you, if she doesn't want to kiss you - you have your answer.

 

She sees you as an enuch.

 

 

She told me that there was a guy that just dissapeared after they hooked up and she feels betrayed and lost

 

 

Seriously? This girl is using you as her personal therapist and you still think you have a shot with her?

[sabaton]

Yes we had a talk about that guy too. She don’t seem to be upset and she said that she had already forgot him.. and I trust her enough to believe that.

This girl had sex with this guy and she literally just forgot about him? doesn't it make you feel that she tosses guys away like we do to kleenex tissues after we're done with them?

 

That whole, '' this guy used me, but now I'm fine'' spiel I've also heard before. When girls say that I just laugh. They're trying to figure out if they can use you as their personal therapist and best male gay friend. The thing to do is to laugh and then to hit on them.

 

Those that are into you will quickly forget the nonsense they were just saying. Those who aren't into you are going to get mad and threaten you with never speaking to you again.

 

I told her to forget him and that she could trust me and then I went for the kiss.

After I got home she said that she had done alot of bad things in the past and was asking me to not leave her. I said I’m not but I ask you to be loyal too.

lol this girl is setting you up to turn you into her personal therapists. It won't take long before you find yourself spending hours listening to her many myriad complains about the guys who slept with her.

 

I have made my intentions clear. I asked her out on a date and for her to be loyal. I’m not going to say straight away that I want to be her boyfriend.. asking her on a date says that for me

1)Girl hooks up with her close friends.

2)Girl complains about being pumped and dumped.

3)Girl has as a habit of having casual sex.

4)You seem like a sensitive, sweet guy with little experience with girls like this one.

5)Bro, you gonna end up seriously hurt by this girl, when she goes back to the way she is, the way her nature is.

 

It's fine if you are like her. But I have my serious doubts that you are.

[d0nnivain]

Too slow and deep for what? I Don’t get it

 

She is used to guys who hit it & quit it. She's part of the hook up culture.

 

You want to take your time, to get to know her, to romance her to have long talks with her about life, philosophy & the future. She isn't going to appreciate any of that. She's looking for action.

 

I get that you are inexperienced but with this girl you are going to have to run before you even know how to crawl.

 

By ask her out I mean as soon as possible set up a date for this Friday. Do not wait until her birthday. By then she will have gone through 4-5 other guys. She is not a sit on the sidelines & wait until she's 18 type of girl.

 

I fear she will rip your heart out & you won't even know why because she is operating at a pace you can't even comprehend.

[Tagalz]

 

 

This girl literally talks to you about guys she slept with, guys that she hooked up with, and she tells you of the problems she's having with other guys? Girls don't do that.

 

When they want to sleep with a guy they don't make it so that the guy thinks she's sleeping with other guys, that they're dating other guys.

 

But she does it. Which makes me think she is not all that interested in dating you, nor in sleeping with you, and she just sees you as a friend. Does she even know this that you have planned is a date? Or does she think you're just wanting to hang out with her?

 

 

Nah, bro. It's time you man up and you go up to that girl and you hit on her. Flirt with her, tease her, try to kiss her. If she doesn't flirt with you, if she doesn't want to kiss you - you have your answer.

 

She sees you as an enuch.

 

Seriously? This girl is using you as her personal therapist and you still think you have a shot with her?

 

I don't know if you saw my last post, but all that she has been doing in some friends stuff. She is telling me about a guy because she sees me as a friend that she trusts. At least that's what I think.

 

I have planned to ask her next tuesday, but I haven't told her anything. Yeah the only thing for me is to hit on her... that's when I'm not her therapists

[Tagalz]

This girl had sex with this guy and she literally just forgot about him? doesn't it make you feel that she tosses guys away like we do to kleenex tissues after we're done with them?

 

That whole, '' this guy used me, but now I'm fine'' spiel I've also heard before. When girls say that I just laugh. They're trying to figure out if they can use you as their personal therapist and best male gay friend. The thing to do is to laugh and then to hit on them.

 

 

1)Girl hooks up with her close friends.

2)Girl complains about being pumped and dumped.

3)Girl has as a habit of having casual sex.

4)You seem like a sensitive, sweet guy with little experience with girls like this one.

5)Bro, you gonna end up seriously hurt by this girl, when she goes back to the way she is, the way her nature is.

 

It's fine if you are like her. But I have my serious doubts that you are.

 

Yes it does make me feel that she tosses guys away but she complains about it and guys to that same to her. It's never ending and she wishes she could do things to change that. Meaning she wants casual sex. I will take your advice and hit on her.

 

If she wants to be my friend I'm fine with that too, but since she wants casual sex I'm in on it... I just have to make a move

[Tagalz]

 

You want to take your time, to get to know her, to romance her to have long talks with her about life, philosophy & the future. She isn't going to appreciate any of that. She's looking for action.

 

 

By ask her out I mean as soon as possible set up a date for this Friday. Do not wait until her birthday. By then she will have gone through 4-5 other guys. She is not a sit on the sidelines & wait until she's 18 type of girl.

 

 

She's not interested in relationship if you have seen my last post. I have to be in the hook up culture with her and make it clear that she could come to me anytime for casual sex.

 

I'll ask her now and see what she replies. My plan is to eat dinner and then watch movies