sabaton Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 My answer: The party started at 7PM I arrived at about 11PM. I took me so long because I had dinner with members of my family. They went home at 10PM and when I came home my phone needed to charge. That is why I came late. Why did your family dinner take so long?? did you guys go out to the city and it's hours and hours away from your house?? Couldn't you have taken the charger with you to the restaurant and charge there?? Why did you go to the restaurant with your phone's battery almost dead? You could have charged it before going to the restaurant, yes? My answer: It was 4 people at the same house. And I'm not sure if all of them were male friends. Last night was 3 guys. Alright, I'm confused. Do you mean to say that she had 3 guys at her home the other day, or that she had sex with those male friends? Why do you think Tobbe had a negative attitude? It might be because he have feelings for her. Possibly so. Remember that guys very rarely befriend women they aren't attracted to in some level. And there's lots of guys that go years wanting to sleep with their female friends but never make a move, and act passive-aggressive with the guys who are now circling their crushes trying to sleep with them. Remember Kriss and him were playing with each others hair before I came to the party. Not only that but she said she had been sleeping with him before. Bro. She had sex with him in her past and it wouldn't surprise me if they're still having sex. Guy gets jealous of you while he's playing with her hair and has already slept with her before she met you???? This guy probably wants to keep her as a friends with benefits sex partner but you coming along and possibly becoming the girl's boyfriend will likely result on him losing out on easy sex. And by before it might be a long time ago before I knew Kriss. Even if it was long time ago, Tobbe seems to still have feelings. If that is wrong then it can be that Tobbe knew I was going to hook up so he had to be negative. yeah... underage girl, at least one dude who slept with her and is probably doing it still, jealous guy, other guys around her. You're up for a whole lotta of drama my man.
Author Tagalz Posted October 28, 2018 Author Posted October 28, 2018 (edited) Alright, I'm confused. Do you mean to say that she had 3 guys at her home the other day, or that she had sex with those male friends? My family dinner took so long because we were talking a lot and time flies when that happends. I did not bring my charger because I forgot it. But I get it, it's a lame excuse I have to come early next time. Let's talk about how Tobbe is bothering me. Do you mean to say that she had 3 guys at her home the other day, or that she had sex with those male friends? 3 guys because we were 3 guys last night. 2 of them went home but that's not what I'm talking about (: When Kriss said she slept with 4 guys she ment the party that they had a long time ago at her friends house (Julia). And in the group of 4 was Tobbe. So what's why it's makes sense that they have had sex in the past as you already have said. Not only do you agree, but Kriss told it to me by giving hints. She is honest tho she gets credit for that, but it need to stop. I can't do anything if Kriss have had sex with him before in the past. they are a lot of girls who have sex before finding a boyfriend. But she is still having sex with him and that is bothering me. Yeah I know.. I want to stay away from the drama. Do you have any advice on what I should do? I'm thinking I could speak to Tobbe or I could talk to Kriss. Edited October 28, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author Tagalz Posted October 28, 2018 Author Posted October 28, 2018 Sabaton Oh and another thing! It might be just me overthinking, because we're not sure if Tobbe is still sleeping with Kriss. It can also be that Tobbe was negative for other reasons. I haven't told you, but it's not the first time me meeting him. Because Kriss is telling something that had happend a long time ago so it doesn't mean that it still counts as today. Also that Kriss and Tobbe was playing with each others hair can be a friend thing so we don't have to jump to conclussion too fast. And me talking to Kriss is too late, I could have done it when we where on the buss. If I bring this up next time I meet her then It would seem like I'm thinking too much about it. I'm gonna let it go for this time, but when it happends again I would talk to her.
Author Tagalz Posted October 28, 2018 Author Posted October 28, 2018 (edited) Hi! Let me tell you a backstory. It's important because It would clear things up easily. But this is bothering me big time and I want to stay away from the drama. So I went to a party last night with a girl that I'm dating (Girl 1) and it was a guy who is very good friends with her. (Guy 1) Also that party was hosted by her female friend (Girl 2) She was the one who invited me to the party, but I could not attend because I had dinner with members of my family. While I had dinner she sends me a video of them playing with each others hair. Now It could be a friends thing or it could not that's what I don't know. I told her that I would be late and when I came to the party that guy didn't even wanted to say hi to me. He was just looking at he's home screen. I had to call by he's name before he said hi. That body language was not good, but not only that, but he even said that the song I picked was weird meaning I have a weird music taste. That is not nice, but I'm not taking this seriously because not everyone has the same taste. In short he had a negative attitude towards me. Later that night Girl 1 told me this that happened a long time ago: She and Guy 1 had been to the same party at the same house before with Girl 2 as a host. Girl 1 told me that she had slept with 4 other people that day (Not talking about last nights party) and she had been sleeping with guy 1. Not to get confused but she did not have sex with 4 people, just 4 in the same bed. More so that she was sleeping next to guy 1. Even if girl 1 told me that this happened a long time ago so it doesn't count as today. And even if she said "Before" I don't know before by 1 month? or 6 months. If it was recent, then she is lying to me by saying before. But the thing is, is she still sleeping with guy 1? Why was guy 1 so negative towards me? I'm thinking it could be that guy 1 still has feelings for her and wants to keep her as a friend so they could still have sex. But gets jealous of me because I might end up being her boyfriend. Also I don't want to jump to conclussion as wether his attitude had anything to say about his feelings for her. What should I do? Talk to girl 1 about it? Edited October 28, 2018 by Tagalz
Author Tagalz Posted October 28, 2018 Author Posted October 28, 2018 Find girl 3. Should I ask her this on snapchat: "Is it something between you and tobbe?" Tobbe is that guy who is jealous
Mrs._December Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 Wrong. We are dating but we haven’t make it official. Well according to your first post, you're NOT dating - not 'officially.' So if you're not 'officially' dating, then you're NOT exclusive and you have no right to any expectations with regard to her time. You seem desperate and controlling and I can understand why she's trying to keep you at arm's length. You're way too intense and way too invested in her - and she's nowhere NEAR that stage with you. Keep it up and you're going to scare her off. At the end of the day, she's a 17 year old kid with not a lot of life experience. Give her some breathing room for the love of Pete. 1
Author Tagalz Posted October 28, 2018 Author Posted October 28, 2018 You seem desperate and controlling and I can understand why she's trying to keep you at arm's length. You're way too intense. Keep it up and you're going to scare her off. Yeah of course I’m controlling and desperate because I don’t want a girl who is sleeping with other guys. That’s why I also don’t know how to react and treat this situation as I have never been in such. I have talked to my parents and they say I’m jumping to conclussion and that I should not think about it. I know... when we were sleeping she always wanted me by her side. I did not try to take her clothes off or something. She even took her foot and pushed me aside this morning. I’m just going to not send her snaps and I will try to ask her to meet in 2 weeks time. Meanwhile I can focus on other things
Author Tagalz Posted October 28, 2018 Author Posted October 28, 2018 I want to read other people’s opinion. As I said I have never been in such situation where I’m dating a girl while she is possibly sleeping with another guy. My parents say I don’t need to think much because 1. Them playing with each other hairs is a friend thing. 2. Her sleeping with Tobbe happened long time ago. 3. Tobbe’s attitude may have been other reasons. What I’m thinking is to focus on my own things so I can give her a breathing room. She even pushed me aside with her foot this morning and that is a clear sign that she thinks I’m to needy
Author Tagalz Posted October 28, 2018 Author Posted October 28, 2018 (edited) Hi! So I have been dating this girl called Kriss for some time now and yesterday got me screwed up big time so I want to write down my emotions because I need help! I have not been in this situation before so I don't know what to do and handle it. First I forgot to bring something to the party and second I came late... but that's not important. The girl is 17 and will be 18 in a few weeks. While I'm 22 years old. So when the party was over everyone went to bed and I slept with her (Not sex, just sleeping beside her) and she was very playful stroking me by my arm and she wanted me by her side very often. We both were touching each other body parts. (not to be confused, but I did not took her clothes off) SO in the morning she used her foot to push me aside which for some reason I don't know why. The one way to look at it is that I was too desperate making moves and she wasn't in on that. I'm afraid that I scare her off now and she won't reply to me back on snapchat. She said she wanted to meet me this weekend and asked when I'm free from work. I said: Sure I'm free on saturday And she just said nice, so I replied back with I see you then. She did not answer back. Edited October 28, 2018 by Tagalz
Garcon1986 Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 Don't worry too much about this laddie. You are 22, you have oodles of time to refine your relationship skills. You've put the ball in her court to come back at you and show whether she is dedicated to you or not. At 18, most everybody is looking around for the most desirable and meaty fish. I wouldn't rely on her to put everything down for you. She is simply looking around and doesn't care about your emotions quite as much as you think. The most powerful negotiating position is to be able to walk away and mean it. I would cut your losses and leave, and date another more mature woman. Let this experience be nice and fuzzy for the physical part, but let this be one small date in the big ocean. You've got a world of opportunities ahead of you.
Author Tagalz Posted October 28, 2018 Author Posted October 28, 2018 Don't worry too much about this laddie. You are 22, you have oodles of time to refine your relationship skills. You've put the ball in her court to come back at you and show whether she is dedicated to you or not. At 18, most everybody is looking around for the most desirable and meaty fish. I wouldn't rely on her to put everything down for you. She is simply looking around and doesn't care about your emotions quite as much as you think. The most powerful negotiating position is to be able to walk away and mean it. I would cut your losses and leave, and date another more mature woman. Let this experience be nice and fuzzy for the physical part, but let this be one small date in the big ocean. You've got a world of opportunities ahead of you. Yeah but I want to date her, and I just don't want to screw it up
Garcon1986 Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 If she didn't answer back, its possible she is still in the shopping for other guys mindset, and also possible that she is busy, and also possible that she isn't interested enough in you to give you all her attention. I would only allow yourself to text her twice about a followup date, and if she turns you down, you move on to the next one. The sad thing about dating is that women don't always return our emotions no matter how genuine they are. The good thing about dating, is that there is always another bus in 15 minutes.
preraph Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 If you always text back, it's neverending. You have to stop at some point when there's no need for a response back. So just touch base with her on Friday and see if you're still on for Saturday. 1
Author Tagalz Posted October 28, 2018 Author Posted October 28, 2018 Actually it is true... it’s nothing to reply back when I send her saying «See you then» But do you have any advice on what I should do? I’m thinking to give her breathing room after that situation last night...
Author Tagalz Posted October 28, 2018 Author Posted October 28, 2018 (edited) Hi! I have been dating this girl for a while now. She’s 17 and will be 18 in a few weeks. I’m 22 years old. She invited me to the party and we had lots of fun but there is two things that are bothering me. I have to let my emotion come trough and I desperately need help because I have never been in such situation. Before the party she sends me a video on snapchat of her and a guy playing with each others hairs. Which I didn’t like. Imagine If I didn’t come, she would hook up with that guy. So that guy goes to the same school as she does so they know each other very well. The girl I’m dating even told me once she slept with him at a party but was a while ago. That guy was not even nice to me as well calling me a weirdo with bad music taste. So he is proably jealous, but the big question is are they still having sex? The second thing is that I tried to make a move when I was sleeping besides her. Or it was more she that was more playful. She even pushed me aside this morning with her foot. Now I’m afraid that I scare her off.... and I won’t say sorry because insecurities turns girl off... any advice? Edited October 28, 2018 by Tagalz
Author Tagalz Posted October 28, 2018 Author Posted October 28, 2018 give her breathing room Thanks man!
Larry56 Posted October 29, 2018 Posted October 29, 2018 Sounds like she's testing to see how far she can go with trying to manipulate/test the waters on how you'll react to her doing things that WOULD make a guy jealous. To be honest. It does not sound like this woman respects you that much if she's sending you provocative snaps like that. Two questions. Was she likes this to begin with? or did this start happening after a few weeks/months?
Author Tagalz Posted October 29, 2018 Author Posted October 29, 2018 Sounds like she's testing to see how far she can go with trying to manipulate/test the waters on how you'll react to her doing things that WOULD make a guy jealous. To be honest. It does not sound like this woman respects you that much if she's sending you provocative snaps like that. Two questions. Was she likes this to begin with? or did this start happening after a few weeks/months? Yeah not only does it sounds like she is testing me but just the thought about she possible having sex with thay guy is driving me crazy. That guy went home but even if he wasn’t there she could for sure slept with other guys. I really want to talk about it with her but don’t know If i should, your opinion? I don’t want to come across as a guy with many insecurities.. it would turn her off No she was not like this at the beginning. It started a week ago when we were at a gaming event. She seems to not feel comfortable with me and always have to bring a friend or two.
Author Tagalz Posted October 30, 2018 Author Posted October 30, 2018 (edited) I got time to think and I was just overreacting. I do regret on not having sex with ****. We were just teasing each other the whole night... how can did I not do it? I feel so dumb because now the chances are low. One thing that is still bothering me is if there is something between **** and ***** Edited October 30, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed IRL names, let's not do that
d0nnivain Posted October 30, 2018 Posted October 30, 2018 Oh for pity's sake. People need the background from this other thread to understand: https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/668061-did-i-came-out-too-strong-updated-discussion-5.html You are 22. She is 17. You go back & forth about whether you are dating. You said something about waiting until she was 18 to officially ask her. Here's the thing: you are only dating her in your own mind, not in her reality. From her perspective you have never asked her out on a proper date & she thinks the time you spend together is just as friends. In that vain she is free to date other men & have sex with them. This Tobbe character is a prime example. The girl in Q did reach out to you at the party, asking you to come rescue her from Tobbe & you did. Then you go on & on about his body language & that he didn't say hi to you when you arrived late. It was after 10 pm & he'd been at the party since it's beginning at 7. He was probably drunk or at least buzzed. Plus he was looking at his phone. The world doesn't revolve around you. He didn't know you were coming to the party. He didn't care. He wasn't waiting for you. What body language did you expect from him? The girl told you that she had been with Tobbe in the past & has slept in the same bed with him & others. Presumably that was in the past. She was reaching out to you the night of the party. That is some indication that she would like to pursue things with you. At this point your chances are only low if you continue to dither & fail to take action. Ask the girl on a proper date already & discuss your mutual expectations. 2
Author Tagalz Posted October 30, 2018 Author Posted October 30, 2018 The girl told you that she had been with Tobbe in the past & has slept in the same bed with him & others. Presumably that was in the past. She was reaching out to you the night of the party. That is some indication that she would like to pursue things with you. At this point your chances are only low if you continue to dither & fail to take action. Ask the girl on a proper date already & discuss your mutual expectations. How do I discuss mutual expectation? So I’m just going to tell her my feelings? Like this: «We have been together for a long time now and I always enjoy being with you. So I was thinking I could take you out on a date how does it sound?»
d0nnivain Posted October 30, 2018 Posted October 30, 2018 How do I discuss mutual expectation? So I’m just going to tell her my feelings? Like this: «We have been together for a long time now and I always enjoy being with you. So I was thinking I could take you out on a date how does it sound?» It sounds terrible. You haven't been together so stop acting like you have been. Just ask her on a date. 1
Author Tagalz Posted October 30, 2018 Author Posted October 30, 2018 It sounds terrible. Well do you have anything better I could say? What do you think of this?: "I enjoy your company and I would like to ask you out for a date?"
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