Orokotikki Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 I mean at this point really though, I would be doubtful such a picture even existed (or if it existed if it was actually of her). A simple knock on the door (or visit to the store) and saying "Don't take pictures of me" would seem pretty sufficient and likely garner the desired reaction of the action no longer being taken. If something arises afterwards it is harassment or stalking. If you feel real strongly about it, get audio record of her telling him not to, so as to establish precedent that he had already been informed his attention was unwanted. Although she may get angry if she is lining him up as new plan B. (sorry couldn't help it been biting my tongue on that since the thread started.) And to clarify I say that not out of anything she may or may not wear or whatever, but because of the relationship history of it having begun as an affair. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 I totally agree. It’s like blaming a woman for getting raped because of what she wore. Except his gf is not here to complain about her neighbor. The OP suspected the gf was having an affair recently because the cap of his body wash was not fully closed. He also accused the gf of letting neighbors help her mow her lawn. There are too many other amusing examples. Nobody is blaming the gf here; but given how hypersensitive this guy is and how the gf enjoys attention, it’s not unlikely she didn’t tell him the full story. Wouldn’t he accuse her of having an affair with the neighbor if she admitted that they’re friends? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 Except his gf is not here to complain about her neighbor. The OP suspected the gf was having an affair recently because the cap of his body wash was not fully closed. He also accused the gf of letting neighbors help her mow her lawn. There are too many other amusing examples. Nobody is blaming the gf here; but given how hypersensitive this guy is and how the gf enjoys attention, it’s not unlikely she didn’t tell him the full story. Wouldn’t he accuse her of having an affair with the neighbor if she admitted that they’re friends? I don’t know about all that since he seems to have his GFs back in all of this when he said some people need to lay off her because this isn’t her fault. Why are you looking to put all the fault on her? Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 I get people will gawk at her out in public the way she dresses sometimes. I get she doesn't cover up enough taking the dogs out at 4:30 AM while it's still dark but it's dark and she doesn't expect anyone to be out. We had a discussion about that last night and she is going to stop that. What bothers me is the neighbor taking her pic from I assume inside his house of my gf cutting her grass. This was without my gf knowing. She was probably in yoga pants and athletic tank top. That is beyond creepy. Then he posts the picture at his slurpy store without her permission. I have dealt with a creepy neighbor before who eventually assaulted another neighbor. I don't want this to escalate to that. Some people need to stop acting like my gf is in the wrong here. Yes, that’s my point. He doesn’t have the right to do that and his behavior is wrong on so many levels. It could definitely escalate and I’m glad your gf understands that. It was pretty brazen of that guy to put her pic up in the store. He was pretty confident that you or her or someone who knew her wouldn’t see it. That tells me he’s a little off his rocker. You’re right to be wary of this guy. You know, it may be worth talking to the cops because he may have a criminal record. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 I don’t know about all that since he seems to have his GFs back in all of this when he said some people need to lay off her because this isn’t her fault. Why are you looking to put all the fault on her? I don’t think any of this is her fault, at all. She’s just trying to avoid dealing with her bf’s suspicions, considering how hypersensitive he is. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 I don’t think any of this is her fault, at all. She’s just trying to avoid dealing with her bf’s suspicions, considering how hypersensitive he is. So now it’s his fault this guy is creeping on his GF? Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 If something arises afterwards it is harassment or stalking. What if it arises during? Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 So now it’s his fault this guy is creeping on his GF? All I’m saying is the gf considers the file closed; it could be that she has befriended the neighbor and didn’t tell the OP the whole story. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Orokotikki Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 What if it arises during? Then call the police. Look its the next door neighbor right? Who is married with children next door. I am sure OP's GF or the OP can figure out a way to safely do this, if their neighborhood is so bad, then maybe they should move. But ok, you could send a certified letter, or get a lawyer to borrow you a letterhead. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 Up until this post, I had been giving the g/f the benefit of doubt. But given the nature of this latest photo, I am now convinced that she's knowingly playing up her body for the admiration of strangers and neighbours. And yes, I now think she totally plays it up at the gym and is happy to flirt with male clients How many of you dabble in photography? It would be near impossible to get a candid photo of someone mowing their lawn which is worthy of putting on display. You'd want near perfect natural light and a considered posture. Ever flick through a trashy paparazzi magazine while in a waiting room? Even professional paps can't get candid photos which are wall worthy. She knew they were taking the photo and participated. OP, you're being completely controlling telling her what she can and can't wear. She's got a hot body and likes to flaunt it. Her choice. If you can't embrace her attitude, then find another woman. I also suspect that your girlfriend enjoys your jealousy and control. She probably sees it as love in her own damaged way. I also suspect she will continue to invoke it. Let's see what she comes up with next...... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 All I’m saying is the gf considers the file closed; it could be that she has befriended the neighbor and didn’t tell the OP the whole story. Probably not since the store owner described her as his neighbor, not as his friend. She probably hadn’t felt threatened by him since he has a wife and kids and she has dogs but since learning about the unknown picture she’s changed the way she dresses which seems to me that he’s starting to creep her out. I don’t know why it’s this one’s fault or that one’s fault when really it’s the creeper’s own fault for being a creeper. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 Some shyt needs to be handled one man to another...Some asshat taking pictures of another guys woman and then having the stones to put it up in a convenience store is one of those occasions... Me? One visit and it would never happen again..He might even put the house up for sale right on the spot... C'mon people...It aint her fault.... TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 Probably not since the store owner described her as his neighbor, not as his friend. She probably hadn’t felt threatened by him since he has a wife and kids and she has dogs but since learning about the unknown picture she’s changed the way she dresses which seems to me that he’s starting to creep her out. I don’t know why it’s this one’s fault or that one’s fault when really it’s the creeper’s own fault for being a creeper. You are the one who constantly brought up the term “fault”, I was simply describing the probably scenario, based on the history of his threads. I’ve personally befriended a number of neighbors while living in different areas; unless we became very good friends, I would call them my neighbors. Now, I’m wondering if this neighbor ran out of body wash recently... Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 Thank.you.TFY It’s like saying you were asking to be photographed because you were swimming in your pool and looked nice in your bathing suit when you got out of the water. That’s just silly. And very creepy! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 Thank.you.TFY It’s like saying you were asking to be photographed because you were swimming in your pool and looked nice in your bathing suit when you got out of the water. That’s just silly. Except she probably *was* asking. Note the OP has mentioned nothing on her part in the way of shock/fear/surprise/anger. Combine that with her history of wanting to be admired and the fact the photo was a good one, I'm sure she had choice in this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 Except she probably *was* asking. Note the OP has mentioned nothing on her part in the way of shock/fear/surprise/anger. Combine that with her history of wanting to be admired and the fact the photo was a good one, I'm sure she had choice in this. Agree. It's following a pattern where OP finds something offensive or inappropriate that has been done TO his hot girlfriend, she figuratively twirls her hair and agrees maybe she should stop doing XYZ, and then just does something else to attract attention to herself. She wants attention and OP is not OK with that. This is all this is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 Agree. It's following a pattern where OP finds something offensive or inappropriate that has been done TO his hot girlfriend, she figuratively twirls her hair and agrees maybe she should stop doing XYZ, and then just does something else to attract attention to herself. She wants attention and OP is not OK with that. This is all this is. That's all this is... Agreed. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 Some shyt needs to be handled one man to another...Some asshat taking pictures of another guys woman and then having the stones to put it up in a convenience store is one of those occasions... Me? One visit and it would never happen again..He might even put the house up for sale right on the spot... C'mon people...It aint her fault.... TFY I really hope the OP would do something like this in all these situations, instead of being passive aggressive to his gf. Then, at least the neighbor can corroborate/refute her story. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 Ok, my issue with this is that the OP did not see the picture. A friend claimed to see the picture and reported it to him/his gf and the friend claimed to have the conversation with the neighbor/store owner. The picture isn't there now. There is nothing beyond this friend's story that indicates the picture ever existed and/or the conversation about it took place. There is nothing to go to the police about. Before OP considers confronting the guy or going to the police he, in my opinion, should have something more than what the friend said if he doesn't want to look foolish. The other posts have covered the rest of the issue quite well. I just wanted to raise the issue of the actual basis of OP's post. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 Agree. It's following a pattern where OP finds something offensive or inappropriate that has been done TO his hot girlfriend, she figuratively twirls her hair and agrees maybe she should stop doing XYZ, and then just does something else to attract attention to herself. She wants attention and OP is not OK with that. This is all this is. Yep, this this this. And I wonder how much of it is exaggerated by the OP. He had serious insecurity and control issues with his ex, who he described as not attractive. Passive agressiveness, issues with "attention" flirting and control were dominant factors in his failed marriage as well. Maybe his hot girlfriend has a stalker.... Or perhaps this is another saga in a long standing issue. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 Some shyt needs to be handled one man to another...Some asshat taking pictures of another guys woman and then having the stones to put it up in a convenience store is one of those occasions... Me? One visit and it would never happen again..He might even put the house up for sale right on the spot... C'mon people...It aint her fault.... TFY I was going to respond that if she knew they were taking the photo and allowed it, he'd make a fool of himself with this show of bravado. But the other half of me argued that she enjoys his jealousy and would probably quite like it. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 I was going to respond that if she knew they were taking the photo and allowed it, he'd make a fool of himself with this show of bravado. But the other half of me argued that she enjoys his jealousy and would probably quite like it. You know what, the OP might enjoy his own jealousy and insecurity too, at least subconsciously: he can go on and on about how hot his gf is. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 I was going to respond that if she knew they were taking the photo and allowed it, he'd make a fool of himself with this show of bravado. But the other half of me argued that she enjoys his jealousy and would probably quite like it. To me, as a guy., its not so much about what she did or didn't do....Brought it on herself or didn't...or liked it or didn't like it...whatever....Its about not letting another guy eff around in my business/life...It would be no different if he knowingly let his dog shyt on my yard... You guys know the backstory and I don't, so you may have a better perspective of the entire story, but this is how I would handle it and its worked for me in my life... TFY 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wookin Pa Nub Posted September 19, 2018 Author Share Posted September 19, 2018 Thanks for everyone's input. Yes I can be insecure and jealous but this situation is on a different level. My gf was the one who told me I may need to talk to someone then explained what happened. Her good friend saw the picture at the store and asked the owner. It was 100% a photo of my gf. My gf did not like that. After we confirmed that the picture was taken down, my gf just wanted to drop it. I said I should talk to the neighbor and she said ok. My gf does like attention but this creeped her out and bothered me. It's not my insecurities overblowing the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 Sometimes we get what we ask for. This thread reminds me of the move "The Accused" with Jodi Foster. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts