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My brothers GF is having sex with his friend and our younger brother? ***Updated***


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I knew of one such situation. I didn't tell him because he was an abusive ***-hole, and telling him would have endangered her.

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Stephanielady
I knew of one such situation. I didn't tell him because he was an abusive ***-hole, and telling him would have endangered her.

 

Friends hubby?.

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Yes, an old friend was working as a prostitute and her partner didn't know. I was scared of her, she was a tough lady. No longer a friend.

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I knew a woman who started cheating on her abusive husband. I supported her every step of the way - and would have covered for her if need be. It turned out to be the bridge she needed to leave the ex. 15 years later, she's still with the new guy and very happy.

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Have you still not told your brother that your other brother is sleeping with his girlfriend?

 

The advice in your previous thread was unanimous... you need to tell your brother what is happening. There are no absuive husbands here to fear... just one brother betraying another. Telling your brother what is happening is the right thing to do.

 

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/cheating-flirting-jealousy/661234-my-brothers-girlfriend-having-sex-his-friend-our-younger-brother

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Stephanielady
Have you still not told your brother that your other brother is sleeping with his girlfriend?

 

The advice in your previous thread was unanimous... you need to tell your brother what is happening. There are no absuive husbands here to fear... just one brother betraying another. Telling your brother what is happening is the right thing to do.

 

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/cheating-flirting-jealousy/661234-my-brothers-girlfriend-having-sex-his-friend-our-younger-brother

 

No.

 

Shes in the room with my brother and his younger friend

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No.

 

Shes in the room with my brother and his younger friend

 

Are they having a threesome?

 

Stephanie, perhaps it's time for you to move out or go to a friends house... you shouldn't have to deal with this...

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Stephanielady
Are they having a threesome?

 

Stephanie, perhaps it's time for you to move out or go to a friends house... you shouldn't have to deal with this...

 

I think just watching movies and smoking

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Sort of. I worked at a small professional firm. The 2 principles were having an affair with each other. As a low level employee I didn't think it was my place to tell their spouses even though I was introduced to the spouses.

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SouthernIslander

I always stay out of it if it wasn’t someone I was extremely close too.

 

If it’s my sister or extremely close family member, that’s a different ball game.

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One of my best friends started cheating on his now wife right after they got engaged, and continued to do so over the course of a couple months.

It was clear the idea of marriage was putting pressure on him, and he was acting out because of this. The other woman was into him and made a move on him at the right time. After refusing her advances for several weeks, he gave in one night, while we were all reminiscing on our college days and some of the single guys were talking about dating different girls now. Obviously he was flirting with the idea before this, but he was in the right mental state, and once he did cheat, it was easier to make the decision to keep it up.

 

Out of our friend group, only two of us ever knew he was doing this. Neither of us told his now wife, but we did tell him he was being stupid and we put things into perspective for him. He stopped cheating, worked things out with his SO and is happily with his wife now, years later.

 

I think this is how you should go about things at first if its someone you care about doing the cheating. Give them the opportunity to set things right, and be the voice of reason if needed.

 

Of course, even if he didn't set things right, I wouldn't have told his now wife as the next step. I would have tried to convince him to break up with her instead of making a commitment he wasn't going to keep.

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SouthernIslander

I read the link to your other thread.

 

You’re young, so I can understand managing a dysfunctional cluster can be overwhelming. As a seasoned adult member in my family, I’d raise absolute hell about the betrayal against your brother and you by putting you by putting you in that position.

 

Your brother is going to find out either way. They will likely throw everyone under the bus. You are going to get caught in the cross fire since they’ve already proven they aren’t loyal to anyone.

 

You need to tell your brother. If you feel you can’t, ask an older family member that you trust to help you manage this because this is a family issue.

This chick probably won’t end up with either of them and y’all will be left to deal with the damage long after she is gone. So you have got to sit on the right side of this because your brother is at risk of losing his relationship woth both his brother and sister if you continue to hide this from him.

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I'll make this easier for you. Tell your parents that this is going on under their roof. Then let the tide turn.

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Tell your parents that this is going on under their roof.

 

Bingo! If they have any good sense, they will chase this girl down the street and take away your brother's electronics. ;) Not joking. I would be furious if my children were carrying on like this, in my home. They would be looking for somewhere else to live...

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Both times I found out someone I knew was being cheated on I have told them. And both times I got somewhat "scolded" after the fact. The first was my younger sister back in college. I worked with her piece of **** boyfriend, they had been dating for a year. I easdropped/ overheard him telling some other guys at work about a girl he "hooked up" with the other night. I confronted him and he tried to say I misunderstood his conversation. I then told my sister and she was hurt and upset. But then a few days later I saw all was well with them. When I asked her she said he was adamant that I misunderstood and he didn't hook up with anyone. This guy was known for being a player prior to her dating him so I was furious that she didn't believe me. She basically told me to mind my own business after that. About six months later she ended up getting a curable STD from him because he cheated on her. Her and I moved passed it and she eventually got over the guy, but I still give her crap every now and then about the time she didn't believe me.

 

The next time was my roommate at the time. Her and her boyfriend had actually got pregnant after only four months of dating. The guy smoked weed all the time, didn't have a car, and didn't pay child support for his other two kids. He was a real winner. Anyway, she was about six months pregnant and I saw him at a bar downtown with another girl all over him, kissing him and whatnot. The next day I told her I was sorry to tell her this when she was pregnant, but I saw him with another girl. After she spoke with him, I was again told to mind my own business and it wasn't what I thought I saw. After she had the baby she saw his facebook messages and he had been cheating on her since day 1 and even had sex with a co worker of his one week before their daughter was born. She ended up forgiving him though and they are still together four years later. (although her and I aren't close anymore so I don't know what their relationship is like.)

 

My point is, I would STILL tell someone I knew they were being cheated on, I just find some people like to live in the fantasy that their relationship is perfect.

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SouthernIslander
They Still have sex

 

Are you going to do something about this or just share the awful details and do nothing?

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It's kind of sad. A few years ago I knew a guy (acquaintance/friend of a friend) that was a serial cheater and he had a really lovely girlfriend. When she went travelling for a few months, he acted like he was single and hooked up with a few people and tried to make a pass at me while drunk. I actually thought about whether I should contact her, but figured it was not my place to interrupt, especially given the fact that I only met her a handful of times and he was the one I knew better.

 

Two and a half years later and they are still together, she is none the wiser. I think I had the mentality of "what goes around comes around" and thought she'd find out eventually but now I wonder if he had a string of doing things like that behind her back every time she went away. Resurgence of guilty feeling now. Maybe he's a changed man.

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Stephanielady
It's kind of sad. A few years ago I knew a guy (acquaintance/friend of a friend) that was a serial cheater and he had a really lovely girlfriend. When she went travelling for a few months, he acted like he was single and hooked up with a few people and tried to make a pass at me while drunk. I actually thought about whether I should contact her, but figured it was not my place to interrupt, especially given the fact that I only met her a handful of times and he was the one I knew better.

 

Two and a half years later and they are still together, she is none the wiser. I think I had the mentality of "what goes around comes around" and thought she'd find out eventually but now I wonder if he had a string of doing things like that behind her back every time she went away. Resurgence of guilty feeling now. Maybe he's a changed man.

 

Wow a guy that actually got away with having affairs??

Its hard to fathom

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