Author ericw899 Posted July 27, 2018 Author Posted July 27, 2018 Could be because less than 5 days ago he said this: Right and I see the reason for skepticism. But once we began our friendship, I found myself just wanting to talk and hang out with her, not try and win her back.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 28, 2018 Posted July 28, 2018 Right and I see the reason for skepticism. But once we began our friendship, I found myself just wanting to talk and hang out with her, not try and win her back. How friendly will you feel when you find out she's dating someone else? 1
Author ericw899 Posted July 29, 2018 Author Posted July 29, 2018 Looks like everyone has been right about a friendship not working. This past week she has been all friendly and texting me quite a bit, yet since Thursday night she hasn't really reached out to me at all. It looks like she was never looking for even a friendship with me, maybe just some attention. Btw: we still have plans to go somewhere in October & wanted to ask her out to catch up in 2 weeks, so we can get used to being around each other again. I don't see how that happens now.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 30, 2018 Posted July 30, 2018 Looks like everyone has been right about a friendship not working. This past week she has been all friendly and texting me quite a bit, yet since Thursday night she hasn't really reached out to me at all. It looks like she was never looking for even a friendship with me, maybe just some attention. Btw: we still have plans to go somewhere in October & wanted to ask her out to catch up in 2 weeks, so we can get used to being around each other again. I don't see how that happens now. Yes, exactly. You're way too convenient, and she doesn't respect you. It's time for you to accept that so you can let go. This is not healthy for you.
Author ericw899 Posted July 30, 2018 Author Posted July 30, 2018 Yes, exactly. You're way too convenient, and she doesn't respect you. It's time for you to accept that so you can let go. This is not healthy for you. The only thing is what do I do, since we have agreed to go to an event together in October?
ExpatInItaly Posted July 30, 2018 Posted July 30, 2018 The only thing is what do I do, since we have agreed to go to an event together in October? Don't go. It won't be worth it. 1
Author ericw899 Posted July 30, 2018 Author Posted July 30, 2018 Don't go. It won't be worth it. True. It just sucks cause its an event I would really enjoy
ExpatInItaly Posted July 31, 2018 Posted July 31, 2018 True. It just sucks cause its an event I would really enjoy You don't need to go with her, you know. You can still go without her. Work on developing your own social life over the next little while, and invite a friend to go with you. 1
Author ericw899 Posted July 31, 2018 Author Posted July 31, 2018 You don't need to go with her, you know. You can still go without her. Work on developing your own social life over the next little while, and invite a friend to go with you. I'll give it a shot. I just don't want it to be known as the event that was supposed to be with her
d0nnivain Posted July 31, 2018 Posted July 31, 2018 Btw: we still have plans to go somewhere in October & wanted to ask her out to catch up in 2 weeks, so we can get used to being around each other again. I don't see how that happens now. Neither of those things was ever a real option; it was you hoping she'd come back. As for the October event, how much do you care about the event vs how much did you care it was to be with her? It seems to me that the event was secondary in which case there is no reason to go. If you truly want to go to the event, go with somebody else & have a great time even if it's just to spite her.
Author ericw899 Posted July 31, 2018 Author Posted July 31, 2018 Neither of those things was ever a real option; it was you hoping she'd come back. As for the October event, how much do you care about the event vs how much did you care it was to be with her? It seems to me that the event was secondary in which case there is no reason to go. If you truly want to go to the event, go with somebody else & have a great time even if it's just to spite her. It's hard to say, as it is something I really enjoy and am willing to pay good money for. But not going to lie, seeing her really makes it more interesting for me
ExpatInItaly Posted August 1, 2018 Posted August 1, 2018 I'll give it a shot. I just don't want it to be known as the event that was supposed to be with her The likelihood of you two actually going together was low, OP. You've been broken up a little while now. By October, the chances are that she will have met someone else and won't be going anywhere with you. 1
Author ericw899 Posted August 2, 2018 Author Posted August 2, 2018 Yikes...she just told me she loves me. Coversation: Me: You would love me being drunk Her: I love you sober too Me: I love you too Her: Aw, we had a moment
ExpatInItaly Posted August 2, 2018 Posted August 2, 2018 Yikes...she just told me she loves me. Coversation: Me: You would love me being drunk Her: I love you sober too Me: I love you too Her: Aw, we had a moment I hate to be a wet blanket, but you have nothing here but some silly banter if this isn't followed up by plans to work things out. She's not exactly coming out and telling you she loves you; she responded to your leading comment about loving you sober too. Given that she sounds young and immature in general, I would not put a lot of stock into declarations of love from an ex like this. If it's not backed up by a serious conversation about trying again, you need to avoid engaging in dialogue like this. 1
d0nnivain Posted August 2, 2018 Posted August 2, 2018 All that means is she doesn't hate you. It does not mean she wants you back. 1
Author ericw899 Posted August 2, 2018 Author Posted August 2, 2018 All that means is she doesn't hate you. It does not mean she wants you back. Didn't mean to say I think it means she wants me back, but isn't it an odd thing to say to a guy you broke up with four months ago, and has repeatedly said you don't want a relationship with?
ExpatInItaly Posted August 2, 2018 Posted August 2, 2018 Didn't mean to say I think it means she wants me back, but isn't it an odd thing to say to a guy you broke up with four months ago, and has repeatedly said you don't want a relationship with? Eh, based on my observations, a lot of the younger set toss around "I love you" without a lot of serious meaning behind it. It can be a term of endearment for some, but not necessarily a serious declaration of love. Try not to read into it, unless she suddenly becomes open to getting back together.
Becky_19 Posted August 2, 2018 Posted August 2, 2018 I dunno the ins and outs of your relationship or your girlfriend personally, but I’m young and my friends are young and i definitely don’t think we casually throw around I love you to an ex if it didn’t actually have something behind it. I know nobody wants to get your hopes up, but that convo to me comes across as heavy flirting. Now she still hasn’t said she wants to be in a relationship with you but to me it’s obvsiouly something is building up between the two of you. Keep doing what you’re doing, and enjoy the experience, take it one step at a time.
Author ericw899 Posted August 2, 2018 Author Posted August 2, 2018 I dunno the ins and outs of your relationship or your girlfriend personally, but I’m young and my friends are young and i definitely don’t think we casually throw around I love you to an ex if it didn’t actually have something behind it. I know nobody wants to get your hopes up, but that convo to me comes across as heavy flirting. Now she still hasn’t said she wants to be in a relationship with you but to me it’s obvsiouly something is building up between the two of you. Keep doing what you’re doing, and enjoy the experience, take it one step at a time. I don't want to get my hopes up either, but I agree things feel different. To give you an idea a couple months ago we had an argument & she was furious with me and would hardly talk to me, let alone making plans to see me or saying "I love you" A couple weeks ago she was seeing a guy but it only lasted 5 days and has seemed to come back to me right after. Maybe the grass isn't greener?
ExpatInItaly Posted August 3, 2018 Posted August 3, 2018 I don't want to get my hopes up either, but I agree things feel different. To give you an idea a couple months ago we had an argument & she was furious with me and would hardly talk to me, let alone making plans to see me or saying "I love you" A couple weeks ago she was seeing a guy but it only lasted 5 days and has seemed to come back to me right after. Maybe the grass isn't greener? And this is precisely why I say you can't take "I love you" seriously from her. She is not sincere and she will not stick around. 2
Author ericw899 Posted August 3, 2018 Author Posted August 3, 2018 And this is precisely why I say you can't take "I love you" seriously from her. She is not sincere and she will not stick around. But do I take advantage while she is vulnerable to make my move and ask her on a date to rekindle what we had lost?
Normm Posted August 3, 2018 Posted August 3, 2018 But do I take advantage while she is vulnerable to make my move and ask her on a date to rekindle what we had lost? Sure why not? You're not going to listen to any advice to the contrary so I'm telling you what you want to hear. Good luck with that. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted August 4, 2018 Posted August 4, 2018 But do I take advantage while she is vulnerable to make my move and ask her on a date to rekindle what we had lost? No, because it will all fall apart again when she's got her confidence back. OP, this is not how good, long-lasting relationships start. At all.
ElKay Posted August 4, 2018 Posted August 4, 2018 The more you let her walk over you by accepting anything just for some minimal contact, she will keep losing respect for you and know that you're a free booty call whenever she's feeling the itch...
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