Jealous & Being Overprotective

[Wookin Pa Nub]

I won't pretend to be in shape like a yoga teacher but I got a good figure and generous boobs. I get attention and I get gentlemen offering me their numbers at times. I never take them and I ALWAYS.....always tell them I have a boyfriend. Last time a stranger offered me to grab a coffee with him I thanked him, told him I was flattered but I had a 'boyfriend' waiting for me at home. That's what your girlfriend is not doing and should be and that to me is a red flag.

 

 

 

That is true. She started off saying she's not worried, he's married. From what I can tell from his facebook page he is not married. Not one pic with wife or kids. Is this another lie she told?

 

 

She said he asked her to coffee to talk about divorce bc he's been thru divorce. She said "no thanks, I am doing great".

 

 

A - how did he know she was divorced?

B - why didn't she bring me up?

[Gaeta]

That is true. She started off saying she's not worried, he's married. From what I can tell from his facebook page he is not married. Not one pic with wife or kids. Is this another lie she told?

 

 

She said he asked her to coffee to talk about divorce bc he's been thru divorce. She said "no thanks, I am doing great".

 

 

A - how did he know she was divorced?

B - why didn't she bring me up?

 

 

I am in a relationship and you cannot tell by looking at my FB so it's not enough to accuse her of lying about it.

 

I don't understand, does he wants to talk about his divorce or he's offering her to speak about hers? and yes he seems to know about her being divorced but not about her being in a relationship.

 

How long have you been dating?

[Wookin Pa Nub]

I am in a relationship and you cannot tell by looking at my FB so it's not enough to accuse her of lying about it.

 

I don't understand, does he wants to talk about his divorce or he's offering her to speak about hers? and yes he seems to know about her being divorced but not about her being in a relationship.

 

How long have you been dating?

 

 

 

In his text he said something like "if you want to grab coffee or whatever and just talk..divorce is hard...I've been there". For him to know she was divorce he would have talked to her before or after class and asked about her situation. But maybe she volunteered that info in class but I doubt it.

 

 

We have been dating over a year.

[Gaeta]

In his text he said something like "if you want to grab coffee or whatever and just talk..divorce is hard...I've been there". For him to know she was divorce he would have talked to her before or after class and asked about her situation. But maybe she volunteered that info in class but I doubt it.

 

We have been dating over a year.

 

 

Well one thing for sure is she is lying to you about not having his phone number. She did turn down his invitation you saw it. Why she doesn't admit this communication was over text (not after her course) may be because she knows you are jealous and she doesn't want a scene from you?

 

 

 

Ask her does your admirer know you are in a relationship the answer would be interesting.

[Lotsgoingon]

I think the issue is what YOU are feeling. If you feel uncomfortable with the way this woman (with her fake DD's) carries herself in the world and the energy (and sexual energy) she puts out ... that's legit.

 

If you feel uncomfortable with her, and you sense she has trouble setting boundaries, listen to that ... No need to criticize her. Simply pay attention to your discomfort.

 

Quick tip: drop the blinding fantasy of changing her thinking by "explaining" danger to her. If she doesn't know how to say no to a random male stronger coming along ... if she doesn't know to say no to inviting such a stranger inside, then what exactly makes you think you have the magic power to change her thinking? You think the world has never made this point to her?

 

I'd go with the "as is" question. Assume she will act in six months and in one year ... exactly as she is acting now ... and assume she will respond to your inquiries about messages in the same way ... and decide if this is someone you are comfortable with ... You may simply have fun hanging out with her ... or not.

 

Just for the record brother: men will always check out a super-hot woman, regardless of whether that woman is arm in arm with another man or surrounded by aliens from a UFO.

Edited May 25, 2018 by Lotsgoingon

[Poutrew]

I would hazard a guess that she hasn't told anyone about you. The reason could be as simple as purely business - as long as her male customers (is that what you call them?) think she is single they will keep paying for lessons. She is promoting the fantasy that she may date them in the future if only they keep trying.... then again, she may not want anyone to know about you because having orbiters is a ego boost she isn't willing to give up. My feeling is that if she can lie to your face about the small stuff, and her defensiveness is a clue that she is lying, then she can lie to your face when she comes home late because she was banging one of her admirers, and you'd be none the wiser. My take on this is to just enjoy the DD's for as long as you can... but be aware that nothing lasts forever...

[snowboy91]

Reading through the rest of the thread, I feel the only bad thing so far is that she hasn't told the other guys that she's with OP. She's still saying no to the guys in her class, so from a physical point of view the outcome is the same (being faithful) but when trying to imagine her thought process, something isn't adding up.

 

t's possible that as Poutrew says, it's a business reason (draw male customers by pretending to be single), but to me that's lying to your customers and therefore a red flag for an entirely different reason. It could be a weird feminist-style belief, like believing they should not rely on the "boyfriend" excuse for rejecting someone (I know a handful of women who think along those lines). Or it could be the ego boost - which has the possibility of becoming a slippery slope if unchecked.

 

Either way, I stand by my previous response - try not to be too overbearing. Guys are going to look, you have a hot GF. Interacting with said guys is necessarily a part of her life. She has been for the most part honest, it's just this one little thing that needs addressing, and you need to try and approach this in such a way that isn't restrictive.

[Gaeta]

Reading through the rest of the thread, I feel the only bad thing so far is that she hasn't told the other guys that she's with OP. She's still saying no to the guys in her class, so from a physical point of view the outcome is the same (being faithful) but when trying to imagine her thought process, something isn't adding up.

 

t's possible that as Poutrew says, it's a business reason (draw male customers by pretending to be single), but to me that's lying to your customers and therefore a red flag for an entirely different reason. It could be a weird feminist-style belief, like believing they should not rely on the "boyfriend" excuse for rejecting someone (I know a handful of women who think along those lines). Or it could be the ego boost - which has the possibility of becoming a slippery slope if unchecked.

 

Either way, I stand by my previous response - try not to be too overbearing. Guys are going to look, you have a hot GF. Interacting with said guys is necessarily a part of her life. She has been for the most part honest, it's just this one little thing that needs addressing, and you need to try and approach this in such a way that isn't restrictive.

 

What about her lying to him about not having this guy's phone number? And lying about him communicating with her through messenger when it's not true? I don't think it's a small thing he should tip toe around.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

It could be a weird feminist-style belief, like believing they should not rely on the "boyfriend" excuse for rejecting someone (I know a handful of women who think along those lines).

 

I don't think it's weird at all for a woman to not disclose her relationship status in a professional setting. She should not have to. Nobody would expect a man to do this.

 

And I'm not even a feminist.

[Gaeta]

I don't think it's weird at all for a woman to not disclose her relationship status in a professional setting. She should not have to. Nobody would expect a man to do this.

 

And I'm not even a feminist.

 

 

But she revealed to this man she's divorced so she doesn't obey by that rule it seems.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

But she revealed to this man she's divorced so she doesn't obey by that rule it seems.

 

Ah, missed that .

[Wookin Pa Nub]

I spent the weekend with her. I think I don't want to push her anymore.

 

 

I didn't ask her if she told the yoga guy she was seeing me but she never said she did tell him that. She got asked out a few months ago by student and she told me that she said that she was seeing someone.

 

 

I checked her phone and she didn't delete his text. My gf get's confused at times and is not tech savvy. I think I am concluding she got texts from him and only responded with a thanks regarding a meditation video. She may have also received a FB message from him too because what she described to me was how FB handles messages from non FB friends. She probably forgot about the texts and just remembers the FB messages.

 

 

She told me she asked another lady at this fitness club about the guy. This lady said the guy tries to get down all the ladies pants and once you tell him to back off he stops coming to your class. My gf said he didn't show up on Thurs.

[Gaeta]

I am glad things have settled for you. If she is not tech savy then a text and a message on messanger will look the same to her. I agree with that.

 

 

 

Enjoy the summer together :-)

[coolheadal]

Me and girlfriend had a couple incidents recently that upset me and made me a bit jealous. I am a jealous guy but try not to show it. I am 46 divorced and my gf is 44, also divorced. She lives two hours from me so she is alone much of the time. She is a very fit yoga teacher who has absolute perfect fake DD breasts. She likes to wear revealing and tight clothing to show off her figure. I am ok with it as long as it's not too revealing - ie easy for boob to slip out. I will start with the minor incidents and end with the more serious one.

 

 

 

 

1. It was nice day yesterday and we were running errands. She had tight tank top on with bra that really accentuated her breasts. I noticed guys checking her out as usual but a couple did more than the quick glance. I am standing right next to her for pete's sake. One older guy was staring at her for like 10 seconds. I almost said something to him. Should I do say something to guys that do the obvious stare down?
   
2. She has what she calls "admirers" - guys who take her yoga classes. She's been asked out a few times by her students. She recently added a couple classes at a new fitness club. She shows me a business card she got from an admirer and she acts annoyed by him. My gf says he's from this new club and sent her some meditation videos. I let it go. Later I am thinking how did he send her videos? I looked at her phone and there were texts from him. She mostly ignored him. The last text he asked her to coffee after class to talk about divorce. I don't understand why she would give her phone number out to a guy. She is overly nice person which men interpret as flirting.
   
3. My gf was mowing her grass and had trouble with the lawn mower. Her elderly neighbor was with her. My gf mows the neighbor's grass for her. A guy stopped his car and offered to help which she accepted. He ended up asking her name and asked her to lunch. He was persistent and repeatedly asked her. She kept saying no and finally walked away. She saw his car drive by two more times. I worry about her bc she is alone a lot. She tells me not to worry but I think she should be making better decisions.
   

 

My friend you think like I use too do. You need to stop otherwise you loose this one, because we men do not have the right to tell a grown woman what to do and say and act. If you do that then your no better than her dad! She's not a kid she's a grown woman. Let her think for herself. Don't do that for her as that shows controlling factor on your part. She runs a yoga that peace of mind and she going to do what she needs to do too make that business stand-out so you need to chill on that too. As for men hitting on her not much else you can do there. I am sure you not going to sell your house to move in with her just yet. Own keep both house and run them and spend more time with her. 2 hrs each way so she's about 4 hours drive round trip. You want this woman or are you too worried about driving so far? Stop think and listen to yourself. Make the right move and go to her. Stop thinking about the drive but about the woman you want to be with. You got to change your ways if you want her. She's doing her ways also. If she wants to change them for you, she needs to do that on her own without your input. Don't be a father to her be her man, her lover!

[Blanco]

You have a lot of jealousy and insecurity issues with this woman dating back a year now. I can't help but think that somewhere in your mind, you know that this woman was culpable of sleeping/dating a married man (you), so you're never totally at ease. After all, she's shown a willingness to break a boundary that many people would not cross. Who's to say she wouldn't transgress again?

[BaileyB]

May I ask, why are you looking through your girlfriend's phone?

 

Are you her boyfriend, or her parent? Reading this discussion, it sounds like you are her parent...

 

Seriously, she is a grown woman. She is very capable of making her own decisions about the people with whom she wants to talk, or ask for help... If you don't trust her, then don't date her.

Edited May 28, 2018 by BaileyB

[basil67]

I must admit that I'm completely confused about her being expected to say "no" to a person who stops to help her. I remember that time when I was changing a flat tyre and a man stopped and insisted he do it for me. I kindly accepted as I wasn't really dressed for tyre changing. Accepting chivalry not only helps the person in need, but makes the supporting person feel good about themselves too.

 

I frequently stop and help people who need it. Recently a lady's shopping bag had broken in the mall recently and made quite a mess. I found paper towels to help clean and gave her one of my bags to put the remaining stuff in. I helped an old guy pack his groceries into his backpack when he clearly couldn't manage. Moving my car so that a disabled person could have my parking spot closer to the store.

 

Meanwhile, so many people complain about chivalry being dead. I tell you, if we stop accepting chivalry and shut out those who want to do a good deed, chivalry will indeed die.

 

In short, she did nothing wrong by accepting a bit of chivalry.

[Blanco]

And never forget: If she wants to cheat, she will cheat, regardless of how many proactive measures you take to prevent; ultimately, maybe BECAUSE of those measures.

[Wookin Pa Nub]

May I ask, why are you looking through your girlfriend's phone?

 

Are you her boyfriend, or her parent? Reading this discussion, it sounds like you are her parent...

 

Seriously, she is a grown woman. She is very capable of making her own decisions about the people with whom she wants to talk, or ask for help... If you don't trust her, then don't date her.

 

 

 

I know it looks bad but many months ago we were talking about cell phones, facebook, etc and she said you can look at my phone anytime. I usually do not look at her phone. Her first comment about the yoga guy was he sent me some stupid meditation videos. It took me a minute but I thought how did he send her videos (phone, email)? She had told me she never gives out her phone # to students. Sure enough there were texts from this guy.

[usa1ah]

I know I have defended your gf in the past. I’m not defending her any longer. She has no boundaries WPN.

[Wookin Pa Nub]

Me and gf were talking about all the famous men in the news for sexual harassment. She said it happens a lot. One of her places she teaches yoga is a national fitness club. Obviously as yoga teacher she has to wear yoga pants and other form fitting clothing.

 

 

She said she gets comments all the time from the male staff at the fitness club - like "looking good today" or "i'd like to be standing next to you in class today" and I am sure there are other comments that she doesn't tell me about. She says she just ignores and keeps walking to the yoga room.

 

 

I would never make such comments to ladies I work with. Just because she is in fitness world doesn't give the male staff permission to make such comments. I think I may file an on-line anonymous complaint to the manager.

[Gaeta]

Your GF doesn't say anything because she enjoys the attention. I think we had already established that. If she didn't like it she'd ask them to stop or she'd tell them it's inappropriate. The same with the other dude that wanted to take her out, she didn't shut him down, she let him know she was divorced, she doesn't have the intention on following up with him BUT she does enjoy his attention so she doesn't shut him down.

 

 

 

I have noticed that people that are jealous often date show-off and attention seekers. People that are obsessed with cheating will date cheaters, or people afraid of being taken advantage of will date freeloaders. It's an interesting phenomenon.

[DrReplyInRhymes]

Your GF doesn't say anything because she enjoys the attention. I think we had already established that. If she didn't like it she'd ask them to stop or she'd tell them it's inappropriate. The same with the other dude that wanted to take her out, she didn't shut him down, she let him know she was divorced, she doesn't have the intention on following up with him BUT she does enjoy his attention so she doesn't shut him down.

 

 

 

I have noticed that people that are jealous often date show-off and attention seekers. People that are obsessed with cheating will date cheaters, or people afraid of being taken advantage of will date freeloaders. It's an interesting phenomenon.

 

That is fascinating, is this from personal experiences and such?

I've never really read into that but it sounds like an interesting experiment to conduct!

[Gaeta]

That is fascinating, is this from personal experiences and such?

I've never really read into that but it sounds like an interesting experiment to conduct!

 

 

I noticed this by reading 15 thousands stories on here :-)

[Wookin Pa Nub]

Your GF doesn't say anything because she enjoys the attention. I think we had already established that. If she didn't like it she'd ask them to stop or she'd tell them it's inappropriate.

 

 

I think she does like the attention. She is proud of her body and likes to show it off. She commented on her low cut shirts, "I didn't get boob job to hide them under turtleneck sweaters".

 

 

Overall I think she doesn't put herself in bad situations. She is a very friendly person and men see that as flirting. I have told her men will latch on to any form of friendliness. She said she is seeing that more and more.