Author girlinNYC Posted June 3, 2018 Author Share Posted June 3, 2018 PhD fine. Go back to my original advice. Speak up. 18 - 24 year old frat boy, say nothing. Serious PhD candidate understands the value of long term goals & a solid relationship. Great, thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted June 3, 2018 Share Posted June 3, 2018 I remember your previous thread. How did your previous hangouts happen? Who initiated? Were they just the two of you? How many times have you met in person? You called him your best guy friend in your previous thread. I can’t believe it’s so hard for you to suggest meeting up when you’re in his area. When my good friends are in town, they would naturally ask to meet up, and vice versa. Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted June 3, 2018 Share Posted June 3, 2018 I am working 1 mile from his college for the next 2 weeks, so should I send him a message to say that I will be around for that period of time, and if he wants to catch up we can lock in a time? I feel weird about doing it, even if we are really close but I guess that's due to me being clouded by the nervousness. Thoughts? I had to scroll back to last week because I thought I recognized you. My bad if I don't. YOU'RE THE WOMAN (or 'little girl' with the way you're acting) WHO I COMPARED TO MARY CRAWLEY! Doh ... YES send him a message! If he doesn't 'want to catch up' I'm more of a horse's backside than I have already admitted to being. Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted June 3, 2018 Share Posted June 3, 2018 Huh? This is a long-term friend (albeit one you now have feelings for) and you're going to be in the same location for 2 weeks. Why on earth WOULDN'T you ask to catch up? Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted June 3, 2018 Share Posted June 3, 2018 Actually many would be offended if one of their best friends are going to be in their area and don’t bother to ask to meet up. In terms of romantic interest, I probably have a different opinion compared to other posters. I think it’s rather odd that he’s CONSTANTLY joking about having a future with you, but takes zero concrete step to advance your friendship in that direction (especially you’re in communication almost daily). Does he show that he cares about your well-being? Has he gone out of his way to do things for you? Pursuing a Ph.D. can be a very lonely process, so it can well be that he’s texting you and other buddies when he gets bored at work. That said, I think you should take this opportunity to talk in person to clear things up so that you won’t keep wasting your romantic energy on him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author girlinNYC Posted June 4, 2018 Author Share Posted June 4, 2018 Actually many would be offended if one of their best friends are going to be in their area and don’t bother to ask to meet up. In terms of romantic interest, I probably have a different opinion compared to other posters. I think it’s rather odd that he’s CONSTANTLY joking about having a future with you, but takes zero concrete step to advance your friendship in that direction (especially you’re in communication almost daily). Does he show that he cares about your well-being? Has he gone out of his way to do things for you? Pursuing a Ph.D. can be a very lonely process, so it can well be that he’s texting you and other buddies when he gets bored at work. That said, I think you should take this opportunity to talk in person to clear things up so that you won’t keep wasting your romantic energy on him. I think it's odd too, hence my post. He is a shy guy by nature, I have always had that in the back of my mind so since there could be feelings on his end in light of the 'jokes' about a future together he could be suddenly nervous, I'm not sure. My intent is to see him and put all my cards on the table, hopefully he agrees to see me... Link to post Share on other sites
Author girlinNYC Posted June 4, 2018 Author Share Posted June 4, 2018 Huh? This is a long-term friend (albeit one you now have feelings for) and you're going to be in the same location for 2 weeks. Why on earth WOULDN'T you ask to catch up? I guess I'm scared of the response, if he says he can't etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Author girlinNYC Posted June 4, 2018 Author Share Posted June 4, 2018 I had to scroll back to last week because I thought I recognized you. My bad if I don't. YOU'RE THE WOMAN (or 'little girl' with the way you're acting) WHO I COMPARED TO MARY CRAWLEY! Doh ... YES send him a message! If he doesn't 'want to catch up' I'm more of a horse's backside than I have already admitted to being. Sorry, is it abnormal to be nervous in regards to someone you like? That makes you a "little girl"? Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 Sorry, is it abnormal to be nervous in regards to someone you like? That makes you a 'little girl'? Apologies. No offense intended. Your 'story' is so NORMAL and upbeat compared to most of the stuff that gets posted here on LS that your reluctance to tell your male bestie your romantic feelings is playing out like a rom com. It's not abnormal to be nervous. However IMO it's a bit extreme (and immature, hence 'little girl') to be as timid as you are. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 Have you asked him to meet up already? Even if he’s not interested romantically, it’s good for you to get it over with. You said a couple of times that you’re in love with him, so you really don’t wanna get deeper. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted June 7, 2018 Share Posted June 7, 2018 If you don’t mind me asking: Is he the same guy you made a few threads about earlier this year? He spoke about marrying and having kids with you even before you first met in person and had met online only for a week? If it’s the same guy, then no, he’s not interested in you romantically. I’m not sure what in what sense he’s your best friend and you’re in love with him. Have you not just met in person less than a handful of times? Link to post Share on other sites
Malin889 Posted June 12, 2018 Share Posted June 12, 2018 Yes- ask him to hang out. If you’re his friend, he’ll want to hang out with you! Link to post Share on other sites
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