Visa denied- What do I do now?

[strawberry1984]

Yes, thank you.

 

I talked with him one last time and asked him to meet me in Canada. He said he can't do it because he is tired and this is his final decision.

 

I said ok.

 

I felt that through all this he was angry with me and he denied that he was, because the day before his interview he was perfectly normal and said that he loved me. He really didn't take the visa decline well and has been angry and cold ever since. The hardest part of all this is the sudden change in his personality.

I really don't think he was after a USA visa, if he was he could have done the finance visa or married in the UK, he's just a lonely guy looking to start a life easy with nice girl and he's impatient to wait further.

 

He know his mother doesn't accept me in his country and he doesn't have his own house, so he probably doesn't see a future there.

 

He says he will visit me in Ireland and also says have a nice life so I don't know what is wrong with him, but it seems like he is depressed and not well.

Edited March 13, 2018 by strawberry1984

[Gaeta]

If he entered Canada then he doesn't have a criminal past. If he has applied for a Canadian Visa THEN he will be refused in the US. Both our countries have an agreement, you cannot immigrate to the US if you have applied to Canada and vice-versa.

 

Have you seen his rejection papers? I think this man is feeding you a lot of BS. Are you familiar with North African culture? I beg you to look into it and to forget about this man. At this time he already has found another American woman to con. One with a job and money.

 

I also suspect he is not pursuing with you because even if you married him you would not qualify to sponsor him into the US. To sponsor a spouse you have to be able to financially provide for them for 5 years or 7 (I think) in the US. You do not have that financial capacity as a student.

[stillafool]

I completely agree with Gaeta. This guy has said good bye, have a nice life more than once to you so he has moved on. I think you need to stop contacting him. It's a dead end.

[Els]

Have you seen his rejection papers?

 

You don't get rejection papers if you fail the US tourist visa interview. Your only "rejection paper" is a lack of visa and being told at the interview that you will not be granted a visa. It's like a job interview, basically - not every employer is nice enough to get back to you. The US certainly isn't one of the nice ones (although at least they tell you verbally that you didn't make it).

 

I really wish that people would actually try applying for one or talking to a non-OECD citizen who has applied for one before making assumptions. The procedure is NOT the same as immigration procedures that you are used to as an OECD citizen. Believe me. In fact, I personally found the experience extremely off-putting and somewhat dehumanizing. You are told to come at 8am and clear your entire morning, no specific appointment times granted, then you queue up for a security check for 30 minutes before being led into the large interview room. You queue up for an hour to do biometrics. Then all 50 of you wait in the "holding room" until they call your name. The officers are extremely unfriendly, you are not allowed to bring any food or drink into the room or leave for the toilet, and you might wait for up to 3 hours. If I had been declined a visa, I would not have reapplied, it wouldn't have been worth it.

 

Again, I agree that the OP should leave, but I disagree that he's necessarily lying about his tourist visa application.

Edited March 13, 2018 by Elswyth

[Gaeta]

You don't get rejection papers if you fail the US tourist visa interview.

 

So he was lying when he told her he was rejected because he didn't have enough attachment to his home country?

 

I don't think he made it to an interview, I understood his written requests were rejected.

[Els]

So he was lying when he told her he was rejected because he didn't have enough attachment to his home country?

 

I don't think he made it to an interview, I understood his written requests were rejected.

 

In her post on this page she says he attended the interview.

 

As I said, they tell you verbally that you are rejected on the spot. They don't bother giving you any papers.

[Gaeta]

In her post on this page she says he attended the interview.

 

As I said, they tell you verbally that you are rejected on the spot. They don't bother giving you any papers.

 

Ok so it's even easier to lie about why his Visa was denied.

[Els]

Ok so it's even easier to lie about why his Visa was denied.

 

But why is the default assumption that he is lying? Is that how you would approach a relationship, never believing that anything is true unless they have the papers to prove it?

 

I'm not saying he's not lying. Of course anyone can lie, regardless of nationality. All I'm saying is that factually, his experience lines up with the actual process.

[Gaeta]

But why is the default assumption that he is lying? Is that how you would approach a relationship, never believing that anything is true unless they have the papers to prove it?

 

I'm not saying he's not lying. Of course anyone can lie, regardless of nationality. All I'm saying is that factually, his experience lines up with the actual process.

 

If he were in Sweden trying to visit the US my opinion would be different.

 

If I consider all of the details, he is from a north African country, maybe Lybia or Algeria, she is not naming the country because it would not help her story with us. He has been refused several times to your country and each time he fails to fix the situation, he is cruel with OP and inconsiderate of her feelings, he refuses to meet her in a neutral country like Canada. All indicates this man is out to accomplish 'no good'.

 

ADD to that

 

Another issue, he seems to be feeling that he is "old" or time is running. When I suggested we apply for K1 visa he said he didn't want to because he felt he would never be approved by USA and that it takes too long. He seems very lonely and needy for love NOW.

 

This man is not looking for love, he's looking for way in.

Edited March 13, 2018 by Gaeta

[Els]

If he were in Sweden trying to visit the US my opinion would be different.

.

 

Wow, really? So your main reason for believing him a liar is his nationality??? Yes, you mentioned a bunch of other reasons, some of which I agree with, but this comment pretty much shows the true colors here.

 

FTR, if he was from Sweden he WOULD be lying, because Swedes don't have to attend an interview to get a visa to the US, and are rarely declined a visa.

 

To me it's quite clear why his visa was declined. When they issue tourist visas they want to be sure you will return home. If you show that you are in a relationship with someone in the US they will obviously not be convinced that you will return home. It all checks out.

 

Another issue, he seems to be feeling that he is "old" or time is running. When I suggested we apply for K1 visa he said he didn't want to because he felt he would never be approved by USA and that it takes too long. He seems very lonely and needy for love NOW.

 

This man is not looking for love, he's looking for way in.

 

 

This makes no sense. If he was genuinely just wanting a green card he would have jumped at the offer (which btw I think the OP should absolutely not make). The fastest way to get in is to start now. Leaving her does not make it happen faster.

Edited March 13, 2018 by Elswyth

[Gaeta]

This makes no sense. If he was genuinely just wanting a green card he would have jumped at the offer (which btw I think the OP should absolutely not make). The fastest way to get in is to start now. Leaving her does not make it happen faster.

 

OP is not a good candidate for marriage. I don't know your laws but here if you marry a foreigner you have to open your bank account and provide a proof you can financially support them for 5 years. If you cannot then your spouse will have to obtain their citizenship the good old ways and from remaining in their country of origine.

 

I am not prejudiced against anyone, but I am not naive either. The social conditions of someone coming out of an industrial country are completely different than someone trying to come out of a poor country that is world-known for running scams on women from Industrial countries.

[Els]

OP is not a good candidate for marriage. I don't know your laws but here if you marry a foreigner you have to open your bank account and provide a proof you can financially support them for 5 years. If you cannot then your spouse will have to obtain their citizenship the good old ways and from remaining in their country of origine.

 

I am not prejudiced against anyone, but I am not naive either. The social conditions of someone coming out of an industrial country are completely different than someone trying to come out of a poor country that is world-known for running scams on women from Industrial countries.

 

Like I said, the OP should NOT offer him a marriage visa and should go NC with him.

 

I am simply refuting the assumption that he must be lying about his tourist visa being declined. It feels like we are going in circles here.

 

If what you meant was that he left because she was not a good sponsor, surely he would have known she was a student for the first year that they were together. Why bother with her for all that time if this was all he was after, and then stop immediately when it is offered?

Edited March 13, 2018 by Elswyth

[Gaeta]

Why bother with her for all that time if this was all he was after, and then stop immediately when it is offered?

 

He is across the globe. For all we know he's been working on a couple of other women at the same time and one paid off. I know I am being negative but this whole story smells fishy to me.

[bathtub-row]

He is across the globe. For all we know he's been working on a couple of other women at the same time and one paid off. I know I am being negative but this whole story smells fishy to me.

 

He’s a foreigner and she doesn’t know a thing about him. That’s the crux of the problem here. There are too many shady people nowadays to trust anyone like that. Even if they’re U.S. born and bred, if you don’t know a person and are only talking to them via internet, texts, etc., then putting any kind of trust in them is risky.

[strawberry1984]

I provided him a letter of invitation and affidavit of support as recommended by my friend who is an immigration lawyer. I work for a large company in marketing and have good income and have been with my employer 2 years. But none of this seemed to help the interview process. He showed me a copy of his rejection letter.

 

He said the interviewer wrote a lot in the computer and that he was almost sure he would be approved, but in end was denied. He has a Canadian tourist visa and a UK tourist visa that also allows him visit France, he showed the stamps from these visits but alas no approval for visa.

 

I believe one of the main reasons he didn't want to do the fiance visa is because I told him about my friends suggesting to me that he is after a visa. He said he didn't want to go that route and that he would prove to me he could come on his own. He said he wanted to prove he could come to his love like all overs do, without help.

Edited March 14, 2018 by strawberry1984

[ExpatInItaly]

Honestly, OP, I think he's just lost interest at this point.

 

Logistical reasons or not, you still don't know him all that well and he's telling and demonstrating to you that he doesn't want to try again.

[d0nnivain]

For one minute, casting the other evidence aside, let's assume he's telling the truth about wanting a simple tourist visa to the US & being frustrated at his inability to get one.

 

The reasons this relationship remains unworkable are as follows:

 

1. These 2 people have not seen each other since some Mexican vacation.

 

2. The guy is unwilling to allow the OP to travel to his country & meet his family.

 

3. The OP was originally unwilling to meet this guy in a neutral 3rd country.

 

4. When she offered up Ireland as a possible place to meet, he rejected that idea.

 

5. The guy is now being mean & cold to the OP, saying that he no longer wants to try & offering other excuses.

 

That last one is the biggie. He's done, strawberry1984. You can't change his mind & this immigration hurdle is probably unsurmountable. At some point you need to accept that this wasn't meant to be & move on.

[strawberry1984]

He said If I go to Ireland that he will meet me there. But at same time he says he can't marry me and have a nice life.

 

I guess this is so confusing because you don't wish someone a nice life and then offer to meet them in Ireland. I think he is not well.

 

He said he no longer feels jealous of another man meeting me, which is a 360 since when he applied for his visa 3 weeks ago. Its hard to accept this sudden jekyl and hyde change but perhaps it is what must be done.

Edited March 14, 2018 by strawberry1984

[d0nnivain]

Alas it is what must be done. For me, even if he's resigned to the situation, that is no reason to be mean to you. It may be a coping mechanism but I think you have to let this dream die. Sorry.

 

 

LDRs are hard enough. I did a bi-coastal one for almost 2 years before cell phones & the internet. I don't know why somebody would even consider starting an international LDR. It just seems like heart ache waiting to happen. I'd rather the person just be my exotic vacation fling, a smile on my face at the memory but dragging this out & getting my hopes up for the impossible . . . no thanks.

[clia]

I provided him a letter of invitation and affidavit of support as recommended by my friend who is an immigration lawyer. I work for a large company in marketing and have good income and have been with my employer 2 years. But none of this seemed to help the interview process. He showed me a copy of his rejection letter.

 

Of course a letter from a woman in the US inviting him to visit and offering financial support wouldn't help bolster his argument that he would return to his own country. I'm flabbergasted that an immigration attorney gave you that advice. The tourist visa has nothing to do with you and everything to do with his own situation. It's no wonder they decided his home ties weren't strong enough.

[Els]

I provided him a letter of invitation and affidavit of support as recommended by my friend who is an immigration lawyer. I work for a large company in marketing and have good income and have been with my employer 2 years. But none of this seemed to help the interview process. He showed me a copy of his rejection letter.

 

He said the interviewer wrote a lot in the computer and that he was almost sure he would be approved, but in end was denied. He has a Canadian tourist visa and a UK tourist visa that also allows him visit France, he showed the stamps from these visits but alas no approval for visa.

 

I believe one of the main reasons he didn't want to do the fiance visa is because I told him about my friends suggesting to me that he is after a visa. He said he didn't want to go that route and that he would prove to me he could come on his own. He said he wanted to prove he could come to his love like all overs do, without help.

 

Did you even tell your lawyer friend that he was applying for a tourist visa? I am shocked that you would be advised to play up your relationship for a tourist visa. Anyone who has any knowledge of the process would have told you that it's a terrible idea - of course he was rejected because they doubt he will ever return home. He would have been much better off showing them his employment letter, bank account, ties to family at home, details of places he wanted to visit in the US - ANYthing but a letter from you!

 

Anyway. He's done, OP. Frankly, so should you be. There isn't much hope in this relationship. LDRs are hard enough when both people are 100% committed. Given that he's not interested in putting in any effort anymore, it would be best for you to go NC with him and date locally. Even if you stayed together, you cannot possibly know enough about him to sign over the next several years of your life to him via a visa sponsorship.

Edited March 14, 2018 by Elswyth

[strawberry1984]

yes it didn't seem right that I would need to submit a letter and affidavit for him to visit, however I went by the advice of the lawyer who said its better to have the letter and be honest than lie. The first time he tried without mentioning me, he just said he wanted to visit and he was denied.

 

Does anyone have any experience with a transit visa? Like perhaps if they had a plane ride to LA and then taking a cruise to Canada, the transit visa allows them to stay here until the cruise leaves (up to 30 days).

[justwhoiam]

The U.S. government has people who can do their job. The job they're paid for.

 

He was not visiting for tourism, he was not visiting for work, and he was not visiting to marry you. They caught him in lies. And they can tell.

 

A lie is enough for being denied. And insisting won't help getting what he wants.

[justwhoiam]

Does anyone have any experience with a transit visa?

Yes, they are very strict with transit visa too. The only higher (but not sure) chance not to get denied the transit would be having a paid tour with a tour operator. Transit is usually same day or next day.

 

I guess they allow a maximum of 30 days due to weather conditions, so cruises might postpone the departure. But if you leave thinking you'll be staying 30 days, they'll surmise treachery.

 

Ask your lawyer friend.

[Gaeta]

Does anyone have any experience with a transit visa? Like perhaps if they had a plane ride to LA and then taking a cruise to Canada, the transit visa allows them to stay here until the cruise leaves (up to 30 days).

 

Why do you want to see this man at all? His family don't approve of you, he cannot go to your country, how is that gonna turn into a fairy tale in your head?