bradt93 Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 Dude, I would break up with her. She would scare the crap out of me. Hurting animals is a deal breaker. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
heavenonearth Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 I'm reconsidering the relationship at this point. The part about poisoning the dog (someone else's pet) nearly made me puke. How could I have missed anything? I would RUN! And don't have sex with her again! You do NOT want to get this woman pregnant! Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 I would RUN! And don't have sex with her again! You do NOT want to get this woman pregnant! No worries. She'll probably just smother the baby. Link to post Share on other sites
DarrenB Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 Vile human being, don't associate yourself with such horrid people/behaviors 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gone_girl Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 This is very shocking... Doesn't matter that she was a kid/teen. Healthy kids have a lot of love in them. Sometimes they can be clumsy with their affection, eg ruining a butterfly's wings, or keeping a snail in a jar (and it dying) etc. But stabbing a cat?!?! Poisoning a dog?!! These are dangerous people. Just like the James Bulger case. Doesn't matter that they're kids, it's how they were born and how they will be for the rest of their lives. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 I don't care if it happened when she was a kid. Point is, it happened. Run away as far as you can and don't look back. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 My gf has been evasive with my recent questions about her childhood and her past relationships. Her answers were vague and she expressed her disappointment in my distrust. She doesn't want to seek help either because she thinks she's cured already and it was so long ago. It's been nearly 6 hours since she isn't speaking to me at this moment because I supposedlyhurt her feelings with my doubts and questions about our relationship. Not sure if this might have been a sign but from the beginning, she never shared in details about her childhood other than the 4 different school names she went and her favorite school subjects. Upon meeting her family, they seemed like a nearly perfect family. In addition, I don't know too much about her sexual past other than she had a couple relationships and lost her virginity at the age of 15. She would change the topic fast and suddenly, I would forget the conversation and disregard it. This is what her recent answers were like - The last time she hurt and killed an animal: a couple months after her 13th b-day - If the cat was the first one she stabbed to death: nope it wasn't - If she hurt another pet: someone else's dog was ruled to have died out of old age but she poisoned its food - If she has any remorse: yes but doesn't want to talk about it anymore - What she felt at that moment: control, power trip and somewhat thrill "A nearly perfect family"....Hmmm, you don't see too many of those, and when you do you can almost guarantee that underneath the shiny surface there's some murky mess going on. All those behaviours say to me 'repressed rage'. Killing someone's loved pet is an act of malicious jealousy and revenge, the dog/cat/rabbit is getting more love than her, is more valued than her, and she's mad as hell about it, deranged with fury. Caring, loving, responsible parents would have taken her to see a mental health professional the moment they became aware, it's quite unusual for a girl to exhibit that level of sadism and violence. So that begs the question, why didn't they get help for her? Maybe because the intervention of a professional would expose something that the parents wanted kept quiet? It's downright strange that they chose to ignore it. Your GF's unwillingness and irritation at you questioning her also suggests that there's something that she feels she has to hide or wants to keep buried. Are any members of the family especially 'perfect'? It's possible that one of the main reasons she doesn't want to go into it all is because in order to explain she may have to point the finger at the 'perfect' family member/s and she may already know from experience that this will lead to gaslighting and ostracision. When a victim of emotional/psychological abuse acts out and does disturbing things it makes it so much easier for the abusers to gaslight the victim, because hey, there's the physical evidence that she's crazy. I suspect something creepy has gone on in your GF's family. I agree with some other commenters that your GF should get psychotherapy before ever considering having a family. Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 The replies on this thread are interesting. So, what is the answer? Do we round up all kids who exhibit cruelty, no matter what their age, and isolate them from the rest civil society? Maybe put them on a remote island where a Lord of the Flies situation can develop, or at the least, permanently tattooing a mark of some kind on their forehead so the rest of us normal types wont get fooled by them later in life after they have learned skills to mask their behaviors? Am I being too melodramatic? From the sound of it, there isn't anyone who would want this woman as a neighbor... Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 (edited) The replies on this thread are interesting. So, what is the answer? Do we round up all kids who exhibit cruelty, no matter what their age, and isolate them from the rest civil society? Maybe put them on a remote island where a Lord of the Flies situation can develop, or at the least, permanently tattooing a mark of some kind on their forehead so the rest of us normal types wont get fooled by them later in life after they have learned skills to mask their behaviors? Am I being too melodramatic? From the sound of it, there isn't anyone who would want this woman as a neighbor... when kids exhibit behaviors that are behaviors that include not respecting a life...you love them enough to get them help....you dont isolate them .tattoo them or chuck them away....you get them the help they need......all life needs to be respected.....including people or kids that dont have respect for life themselves....but...if you have unsafe people around you...you should seek support not only for them ...but for you....and therefore you instead of a victim become a defender ...a protector...a guardian for the vulnerable around you as well..or...you can ignore the problem.....and that kid grows up and then becomes ....an invisible risk...an unstable time bomb.....ticking away....till one day someone or some animal gets hurt and dies...or that adult who never got the help they needed when it could have made a difference.... marries someone and has their own child.....to destroy and manipulate.. if you dont get children help who need it in most cases...it will be society that bears the brunt of the rage of an unstable child in an adult body.deb Edited March 12, 2018 by todreaminblue 1 Link to post Share on other sites
waterwoman Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 She gets extensive therapy or you dump her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KevinDuff90 Posted March 12, 2018 Author Share Posted March 12, 2018 todreaminblue, It seems the boy in your story was acting out from the traumatic experience he witnessed happening to his sister. Hopefully he got the help he needed. I still can't get a hold of her. I tried calling to break up and it's either her voice message or she hangs up right away. I've left a message that we really need to talk because I can't be in this relationship anymore. I've been tried texting her and don't get a single reply back. She's there online and my message shows up as read. She's giving me the cold shoulder from the looks. I've never seen this reaction in our whole relationship before. gone_girl, The James Bulger case was the most disturbing and horrific case I've ever heard in my life. If I'm not mistake, one of that toddler's killer (Jon Venables) has been back to jail for child pornography; he's still the same he was as a kid; a monster. That poor baby that had to suffer a terrible death. I think it's a stupid rule to give anonymity to young killers. At least let them out with their same names so the people, esp those with kids know who they are. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KevinDuff90 Posted March 12, 2018 Author Share Posted March 12, 2018 She gets extensive therapy or you dump her.I'm dumping her. So far she's still refusing to speak with me, not even through text. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KevinDuff90 Posted March 12, 2018 Author Share Posted March 12, 2018 The replies on this thread are interesting. So, what is the answer? Do we round up all kids who exhibit cruelty, no matter what their age, and isolate them from the rest civil society? Maybe put them on a remote island where a Lord of the Flies situation can develop, or at the least, permanently tattooing a mark of some kind on their forehead so the rest of us normal types wont get fooled by them later in life after they have learned skills to mask their behaviors? Am I being too melodramatic? From the sound of it, there isn't anyone who would want this woman as a neighbor...Apart from her behaviors from her youthful years, her recent reactions are alarming. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 todreaminblue, It seems the boy in your story was acting out from the traumatic experience he witnessed happening to his sister. Hopefully he got the help he needed. I still can't get a hold of her. I tried calling to break up and it's either her voice message or she hangs up right away. I've left a message that we really need to talk because I can't be in this relationship anymore. I've been tried texting her and don't get a single reply back. She's there online and my message shows up as read. She's giving me the cold shoulder from the looks. I've never seen this reaction in our whole relationship before. gone_girl, The James Bulger case was the most disturbing and horrific case I've ever heard in my life. If I'm not mistake, one of that toddler's killer (Jon Venables) has been back to jail for child pornography; he's still the same he was as a kid; a monster. That poor baby that had to suffer a terrible death. I think it's a stupid rule to give anonymity to young killers. At least let them out with their same names so the people, esp those with kids know who they are. I'm dumping her. So far she's still refusing to speak with me, not even through text. Sounds if she has already dumped you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 Sounds if she has already dumped you. It’s a pre-emptive strike. She knows the knowledge of her actions has changed everything. She’s probably hoping that by cutting him off, he’ll go running back to her. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 KevinDuff I applaud your decision to end the relationship, not just for what she did then as a child but more importantly for her trivialization of those events now as an adult. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 KevinDuff I applaud your decision to end the relationship, not just for what she did then as a child but more importantly for her trivialization of those events now as an adult. I agree with the above and, thank God, you came across this information before you got more deeply involved. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KevinDuff90 Posted March 12, 2018 Author Share Posted March 12, 2018 She just send me an icon on my fb messenger just now. It's a drawing of a forest and a door open that reads: If you want to walk out of my life, then please go. Hell, I'll even hold the door open for you'' Then she wrote: For your information, I don't chase anyone. It's ok with me if that's what you want. Though I must block you afterwards. I don't accept friendships after a break-up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KevinDuff90 Posted March 12, 2018 Author Share Posted March 12, 2018 KevinDuff I applaud your decision to end the relationship, not just for what she did then as a child but more importantly for her trivialization of those events now as an adult.She's ending it too. Looks like she was one step ahead. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 Her message is a power play. Let her have it. Intentionally pissing off a psycho by playing any of her games is a bad plan. Seriously, you dodged a bullet. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 Hopefully you've seen the last of her. Hopefully. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 Her message is a power play. Let her have it. Intentionally pissing off a psycho by playing any of her games is a bad plan. Seriously, you dodged a bullet. Amen to this! Kevin, I know break-ups are tough and I’m sorry you have to go through this but I’m sure, in your heart of hearts, you know it’s the best thing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Keats Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 Let her break up with you. She has to do that, to ensure she doesn't have the urge again, to feel power and control through other means. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 She just send me an icon on my fb messenger just now. It's a drawing of a forest and a door open that reads: If you want to walk out of my life, then please go. Hell, I'll even hold the door open for you'' Then she wrote: For your information, I don't chase anyone. It's ok with me if that's what you want. Though I must block you afterwards. I don't accept friendships after a break-up. She has a great need to have power as evidenced by her behavior as a child and also by the above. If she had a way to exercise more power over you than the above, she would do it. Hopefully, that's the end of this, but, watch your back. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
heavenonearth Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 Power play. That's what she is doing by breaking up with you before you can utter the words to her. Don't contact her again. Glad you ended this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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