sandylee1 Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 So was she asking if her Ex was in the same town she was in for the course? She on a course in one town asking if he is in a specific town. What are all these courses she's going on anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
SmartDude Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 She still wants to hear about my past women. It turns her on...she even at the start wanted for us to say who was attractive when we were out. I did not think is was good, as we both display a little jealousy sometimes. However she told me last night that she respects me very much and loves me, too. Do women have a different concept of ‘respect’? Really? Respect is respect in my book! I think the majority of decent ladies really understand the concept...if I’m wrong please tell me I remember she used to ask about group sex and exposing herself on he beach... all fantasy... but does she know where to draw the line in real life! I think not and she is emotionally selfish. Rant over. I have my own business, I do well, is this s part of why I’m gaslighted...can a person really call you the best thing in their life, and be gaslighting! I’m losing faith in everything... and she had the gall to accuse me of being an ‘animal ‘ because I’ve had more experience sexually in the past. Gaslight time. I think this is a big clue right here. Your wife may be a rare person who does not believe that sexual monogamy has any real purpose. I understand this woman because I am going through a phase like this in my life. I enjoy spending quality time with women but I despise monogamous relationships. It is actually very limiting to be in a committed relationship! Despite the common belief that this is somehow anti-moral or deviant behavior, it actually is not. It is simply a preference that some people have. I see that she is trying to get YOU to join her on this journey. She lets you know this by talking about the fantasy of you having sex with other women. And she said she wants you to watch? She wants to give you the freedom to have sex with other women so she can have sex with other men. She has all the signs of a "female cuckold", even though technically there is no such thing. She probably likes sex more than she tells people. Western society is very anti-sex and puritanical. So women like her are often misjudged. This is most likely a sexual compatibility problem. Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 I think your wife's behavior is rude and disrespectful. I don't expect my husband not to notice attractive women. However, he shouldn't be gazing and grinning at other women all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Accessed her phone and she has contacted her ex 7 times between them Tuesday to thursdsy. She on a course in one town asking if he is in a specific town. Later she told me she wants to go away on more courses! I asked and she says her ex needs advice on an issue or about kids..who he forgets most of the time! He cheated on her before they got divorced. I'm sure what's going on now. Oh wow! I just saw this. I'm sorry for your situation. Time to leave. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whitehart Posted March 10, 2018 Author Share Posted March 10, 2018 Somebody said about access to phones. In a 16 day period 22 calls with ex. Obvious what is happening and times have specific pattern. Only calls to me 1/3rd more in same period. The best lie is in your face blatant type. That’s what’s going down. Appreciate everyone’s comments...even the heavy negative ones, but I didn’t come on here for anything but honest opinions. Also came across another email address. Clocked out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whitehart Posted March 10, 2018 Author Share Posted March 10, 2018 Watched a video on ‘Are you being gaslighted?’ I checked 14 out of the 20 signs. My identity has not been eroded, deceived yes. Time to do the same back....return the way I’ve been dealt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whitehart Posted March 10, 2018 Author Share Posted March 10, 2018 We have, have had a good sex life and fantasy was a big part of it. But did she take out and use it in the street...undoubtedly so. Playing sexy eye games with strangers, yes...her ex....very probably Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 (edited) We have, have had a good sex life and fantasy was a big part of it. But did she take out and use it in the street...undoubtedly so. Playing sexy eye games with strangers, yes...her ex....very probably staring & smiling is the most common way of communication between opposite genders, when they want to say to each other "I'm available, open and curious". Those guys wouldn't have allowed themselves flattering about her tits, if they didn't think she's transmitting the "I'm available, open and curious". Remember that men and women make a move differently. Men usually make the practical move, while women spread hints causing men to make the actual "hitting". So for a woman, staring and smiling, is equal for a man to make the explicit act of hitting. That's how women hit - staring and smiling This alone isn't a proof of cheating. But it makes it very easy for her to cheat, because she practically invites men to hit on her intensively and consistently when they read the "I'm avalable, open and curious" signs. Now you add that she goes out a lot without you, travels a lot without you + overnights, she has a hidden email... well... it makes it worse. Imagine how she reacts to men hitting on her (and they do, a lot) when you're not there + there is an intimate available bedroom just a few steps away. In order NOT to cheat she must intensively say NO to men all the time. The only thing to her favor is that she doesn't change when you ask her to. A common sign of cheaters is when you start noticing their behavior, they try to pretend their faithful by behaving very innocently and going under the radar. Oddly, the fact that your wife keeps doing thses annoying things in front of you, is for her benefit. Yes, she may have never cheated. It seems to me that with this level of trust (zero trust), you should fully investigate, or start the divorce proccess. Edited March 10, 2018 by lolablue17 Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Hi Whitehart, so what are you planning to do? What concrete steps are you planning to take to resolve this issue one way or another rather than just fulminating on a forum like this one? Someone suggested employing a PI to check on her and find out if there is any truth to your suspicions. That might be a good place to start. Also, you could question her about these courses that she keeps needing to go on. How important and necessary are they? Try and get to the bottom of what is going on rather than just assuming the worst. After your investigations your wife might come out to be a blackguard or a saint. I hope for your sake she comes out a saint. However, stop torturing yourself with conjectures. Warm wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Hi Whitehart, so what are you planning to do? What concrete steps are you planning to take to resolve this issue one way or another rather than just fulminating on a forum like this one? Someone suggested employing a PI to check on her and find out if there is any truth to your suspicions. That might be a good place to start. Also, you could question her about these courses that she keeps needing to go on. How important and necessary are they? Try and get to the bottom of what is going on rather than just assuming the worst. After your investigations your wife might come out to be a blackguard or a saint. I hope for your sake she comes out a saint. However, stop torturing yourself with conjectures. Warm wishes. It really doesn’t matter if she is cheating or not. Her overall behavior of eyeing others is obnoxious, humiliating, insulting, disrespectful and degrading anyway. OP, yes, all those photos, vacations , holidays , courses etc , was a lie. Sex with a partner who is crazy for you , is the real sex . It’s the desire for your partner and not imagining the guy she saw on the beach or the train or at work. Fantasy is fine , once in a blue moon though. I would put her through a nasty divorce. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whitehart Posted March 12, 2018 Author Share Posted March 12, 2018 I think as I check that it’s more than just looking. She is interacting, flirting heavily...all the naughtier for her as behind my back. Reacting to waves, and standing close together with them when I go off to photograph kids or a view. I am building up evidence and pattern of behavior which is not just built on hunches. The information with ex is important, too. Link to post Share on other sites
Maraud3r Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 I think as I check that it’s more than just looking. She is interacting, flirting heavily...all the naughtier for her as behind my back. Reacting to waves, and standing close together with them when I go off to photograph kids or a view. I am building up evidence and pattern of behavior which is not just built on hunches. The information with ex is important, too. Then divorce her? Why are you staying and doing this to yourself? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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