skywriter Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 You already know the answers to your questions. I suspect you want somebody to talk you down or encourage you to act in a decisive manner. I will provide encouragemant to act ina decisive manner. Please read yoru first post, reread it, and then do what you need to do. I turned 53 today. I'll tell you now that life is far too short to spend with ANYONE who can't love you the way you deserve. Don't settle and get rid of this dummy. He is so blatant about it he is on the borderline of abject stupidity. There are guys out there that wold kill to have a girlfriend like you. So stop limiting your horizons and suppressing your own happiness for a guy that really does not seem to be into you enough to be faithful. Guys like that are guys that end up being alone in their 50's and 60's because they played around too much no one would want to date them for fear of STD's on their own by that age.... Forget about this one...you are better than accepting his silly Lounge Act. ^ What he said^ Happy belated birthday Space Ritual! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 But he wasnt really talking to her until 2 days ago. I wonder how he suddenly changed his mind. And why is he still remembering her? What happened between them was in June and now its February. Today was Valentines but he didnt go to his old uni so does that mean he doesnt care for her? ---- And how is he seeking her out? As per my information tgat was given to me, I found the hair thing very bothering. He used to have long hair and now hes cut it and she asked him about it and he was like yeah its all gone and does it look bad and she most likely he looks great and they basically smiled and laughed. This is a red flag or am i overreacting? The question is: why are you still with a liar? Why are you with someone you can't talk to and can't trust? That will make you old before your time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 I will confront him and if he gets mad at me then I am not staying anymore. That is why i need to know because he wont tell me. He never told me there was some girl he was in love with and he still has her in his head. I never knew You can do this already by just following your gut. Why don't you trust your own instincts? He's never going to tell you and we don't know him, so we can't tell you what he will or won't do. You already know you're dealing with a liar and liars make you crazy. Confronting him will just show him that he's right to keep doing what he's doing. You'll lose your dignity over a liar. Squander that on someone more worthwhile than a liar. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 He spoke to her when he was alone. Exactly like he did last year. He kept watching her and when she saw him, she also did then initiated the comvo. Was he just looking for the perfect oppprtunity to catch her alone and hoping she would talk? As he had messed up his relationship with her? Yes and yes. It's exactly what your instincts are telling you it is. Your relationship is over except for the breaking up if he's seeking out someone else or allowing them to reach out and take hold of him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 So if he never confesses, you will forever be chained to him even tho his actions say he does still have feeling for her? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author natashalove Posted February 15, 2018 Author Share Posted February 15, 2018 Yes and yes. It's exactly what your instincts are telling you it is. Your relationship is over except for the breaking up if he's seeking out someone else or allowing them to reach out and take hold of him. But wgen she asked him if hes free this week he didnt say hes free. He said he has things to do so if he was so interested in her why didnt he join her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author natashalove Posted February 15, 2018 Author Share Posted February 15, 2018 So if he never confesses, you will forever be chained to him even tho his actions say he does still have feeling for her? Also you keep saying he likes her even now but when she asked him if hes free this week he didnt say hes free. He said he has things to do so if he was so interested in her why didnt he join her? He understood she was not angry at him so why decline? Or did he just want space and think over her and his old memories and decide for her and does that mean I will be booted if he goes in her favor? Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 Also you keep saying he likes her even now but when she asked him if hes free this week he didnt say hes free. He said he has things to do so if he was so interested in her why didnt he join her? He understood she was not angry at him so why decline? Or did he just want space and think over her and his old memories and decide for her and does that mean I will be booted if he goes in her favor? Oh young lady, He is lying by omission. I suppose that you are not in favor of changing your name to "things to do". The question is NOT why didn't he join her....the question is why he does a 180 and directs the majority of his attention to someone other than his girlfriend. He is playing both sides against the middle. In his opinion, he can bang about with her and if he gets all his ducks inn a row and make it happen around a timetable to be with you, all the better for him!!! And all the worse for you. Look, I know you are still hoping someone can say something to you that you can latch on to providing you some hope of saving the relationship. The fact however, is that you are wasting your time doing the Pick Me Dance.. I assure you that playing the Pick ME Dance will fail, And you will have only succeeded in allowing him to gaslight you ad nauseum and eventually shatter your heart yet again because of how you feel about him. Seriously, I was not BSing you yesterday when I posted about not wasting your time on him. You have more days ahead of you than behind you. Don't settle on this jerkwad. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author natashalove Posted February 16, 2018 Author Share Posted February 16, 2018 Oh young lady, He is lying by omission. I suppose that you are not in favor of changing your name to "things to do". The question is NOT why didn't he join her....the question is why he does a 180 and directs the majority of his attention to someone other than his girlfriend. He is playing both sides against the middle. In his opinion, he can bang about with her and if he gets all his ducks inn a row and make it happen around a timetable to be with you, all the better for him!!! And all the worse for you. Look, I know you are still hoping someone can say something to you that you can latch on to providing you some hope of saving the relationship. The fact however, is that you are wasting your time doing the Pick Me Dance.. I assure you that playing the Pick ME Dance will fail, And you will have only succeeded in allowing him to gaslight you ad nauseum and eventually shatter your heart yet again because of how you feel about him. Seriously, I was not BSing you yesterday when I posted about not wasting your time on him. You have more days ahead of you than behind you. Don't settle on this jerkwad. Well she clearly remembers him too so is her acknowledging his presence and reaching out to him make him fall for her even more? Considering he messed his relationship with her yet she reached too him? And has no ill feelings for him? Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 But wgen she asked him if hes free this week he didnt say hes free. He said he has things to do so if he was so interested in her why didnt he join her? Here's my question: how do you know so much about something that went on when you weren't even there to witness it first hand? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 But to answer your question: time is on his side--he doesn't have to make a move this week if he's grooming her to be his new girlfriend. He's got all of his future to do that--immediate and distance. We can play speculation games from now til times get better--and I can tick off excuse after excuse he might give you, but at the end of the day, you're never going to know the true answer unless you are a fly on the wall when they are together. Either he is trustworthy or he isn't; he doesn't lie by omission, or do things that require you to turn into someone who snoops his phone or whatever clandestine reconnaissance you engaged in to get the information you're using to base this whole thing on. That ain't love. Love is quiet and assured, not secretive, frenetic and agitated. That quote I've got as my signature line? Go look him up on youtube and watch his videos. It'll be the best thing you've done for yourself this year so far. Link to post Share on other sites
Author natashalove Posted February 16, 2018 Author Share Posted February 16, 2018 (edited) But to answer your question: time is on his side--he doesn't have to make a move this week if he's grooming her to be his new girlfriend. He's got all of his future to do that--immediate and distance. <snip> U actually think they can get together? How can u say so? Edited February 16, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote Link to post Share on other sites
1fish2fish Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 U actually think they can get together? How can u say so? Why do you think they can't? Or won't? Or haven't already? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 He probably knows you are or maybe will be stalking him so they act nonchalant in public. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author natashalove Posted February 16, 2018 Author Share Posted February 16, 2018 Why do you think they can't? Or won't? Or haven't already? Coz he doesnt go to his uni a lot and shes there. Earlier there was tension but now they patched up but he hasnt gone to see her or anything since the last 3 days ???? and my friend said they didnt even exchange nos so they havent gotten together. He does 2 jobs and is trying to get a job. So why will he go for a girl who is still studying at his ex university? Link to post Share on other sites
Author natashalove Posted February 16, 2018 Author Share Posted February 16, 2018 He probably knows you are or maybe will be stalking him so they act nonchalant in public. Thats not true . When he was trying to get with her in June he would act the same. He only prefers talking to her 1 on 1 and in private. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 (edited) Well looks like you will have to come to your own conclusion then. Edited February 16, 2018 by smackie9 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 (edited) U actually think they can get together? How can u say so? Like I said: We can play speculation games from now til times get better--and I can tick off excuse after excuse he might give you I noticed you avoided answering this, so I'm posing it again: Here's my question: how do you know so much about something that went on when you weren't even there to witness it first hand? You're asking us for answers to a question we have none for--we don't know his mind. We don't even know him, so how can we tell you what his intent is? Your guess is as good as ours and since none of our answers seem to satisfy you, you're going to have to come up with your own resolution on this. Why don't you just go up to their university and confront her over this? and my friend said ... Whoever set your hair on fire over this needs to ride with you, since she's the one feeding you this mess about him. Edited February 16, 2018 by kendahke Link to post Share on other sites
Author natashalove Posted February 16, 2018 Author Share Posted February 16, 2018 Like I said: I noticed you avoided answering this, so I'm posing it again: My friend told me every single bit. She overheard everything and saw them too. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 Well she clearly remembers him too so is her acknowledging his presence and reaching out to him make him fall for her even more? Considering he messed his relationship with her yet she reached too him? And has no ill feelings for him? Obviously you are still in deep denial. I understand. We don't like to be told things we know deep down are true, even when scrambling in a crisis made not of out own making Stop blaming her. She is not n a relationship with you. The guy you are so willing to keep who gives not one whit about you is the problem. I wish you well. I find it sad that you are so willing to follow this turd down the toilet while your eyes are wide open. Basically we have tried our best. It is up to you to ether take the advice(which you seem unwilling to even fathom) or not. I hate to see people come back in 6 months saying we were all right from the get go. I realize you will be one of those same people. We take no comfort in being right, and when you return in 6 months or less(which you will), we will not gloat but be here to support you. Best of luck and see you next August 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author natashalove Posted February 16, 2018 Author Share Posted February 16, 2018 (edited) Obviously you are still in deep denial. <snip> What deep denial? :/ I dont understand u say he likes her then why didnt he go to see her after they patched up? Cmon Edited February 16, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote Link to post Share on other sites
olivetree Posted February 17, 2018 Share Posted February 17, 2018 OP, you are in deep denial because you don't want to believe your man is into another woman. But he clearly is. And you know it deep down, otherwise you wouldn't be posting here asking us to convince you he isn't. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 17, 2018 Share Posted February 17, 2018 What deep denial? :/ I dont understand u say he likes her then why didnt he go to see her after they patched up? Cmon Back when I was in high school and I had a "friend" who was running a bit too much interference between me and a guy I liked. She'd have one tale to tell, he'd have a different one. What I learned is best way to get the truth to fall out at your feet is for everyone to be in the same room and letting them know what the other has been saying. Let them fight it out between the two of them. Get you, Miss Pyro, your boyfriend and this girl to all be in the same room and inform her that you're his girlfriend. You will be able to ascertain by everyone's expression if the memo about you being his girlfriend was read by everyone because clearly, as you've been relating this story, there are two people in this scenario who have been acting like that isn't the case. If you'd rather twist yourself up speculating and asking people who can't possibly know him or her and then not taking their advice, then twist away. My friend told me every single bit. She overheard everything and saw them too. If your friend saw and hear all of this, why didn't she step up and check him in front of her? Some friend she is to not say anything--or to not record it with her cell phone, since she brought back this tale to light you up. Life lesson learned the hard way: keep your friends out of your relationship business because this he said/she said mess will spiral out of control. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CatMinx Posted February 17, 2018 Share Posted February 17, 2018 Darling girl, if you trusted him, you wouldn’t have posted here. You know something is wrong here, I think you’re just hoping someone will lie to you and tell you it’s not. Why not go see for yourself if you’re so sure nothings going on? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 17, 2018 Share Posted February 17, 2018 What deep denial? :/ I dont understand u say he likes her then why didnt he go to see her after they patched up? Cmon If it's all so innocent, why did you post with concerns about it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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