Author paloma22 Posted February 10, 2018 Author Share Posted February 10, 2018 Reading more and more...sleeping with you while you were sick as a dog - wanting you to wear certain outfits...this guy is a submissive and he wants you to dominate him. Maybe not physically but probably that way as well. OOC, what was he like in bed? Was he a take control type or the opposite (and not, I'm not trolling for details, just broad strokes, no pun intended)? You might just ask him if that's what he's into. Then, if he is, you have to decide how you feel about that. Just understand that people who have fetishes don't ever really let go of that fetish so if it's true, don't expect it to be a phase. Still, it could be worse. At least you get treated decently if this were true. More than decently, really. just googled the femdom stuff. its bang on again. in fact it even talks about how they love women in high heels - he often talks about how much he loves girls in heels. WEIRD. I secretly love the idea of this. its just.. new. Link to post Share on other sites
Author paloma22 Posted February 10, 2018 Author Share Posted February 10, 2018 Reading more and more...sleeping with you while you were sick as a dog - wanting you to wear certain outfits...this guy is a submissive and he wants you to dominate him. Maybe not physically but probably that way as well. OOC, what was he like in bed? Was he a take control type or the opposite (and not, I'm not trolling for details, just broad strokes, no pun intended)? You might just ask him if that's what he's into. Then, if he is, you have to decide how you feel about that. Just understand that people who have fetishes don't ever really let go of that fetish so if it's true, don't expect it to be a phase. Still, it could be worse. At least you get treated decently if this were true. More than decently, really. oh ya, hes also said he wants me to make him into 'my perfect man'. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 10, 2018 Share Posted February 10, 2018 So, he's essentially looking for someone to fulfill a specific role for him. This is likely not going to result in a so-called "traditional" relationship, if that's what you're looking for. He appears to be lot more interested in what you can do for him rather than in you as a person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gone_girl Posted February 10, 2018 Share Posted February 10, 2018 When I read this I thought that he's one of these guys that like to be humiliated/dominated. And it wasn;t a very serious thought.. until I read that others thought the same thing as I did! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted February 10, 2018 Share Posted February 10, 2018 He is a weirdo. Why would a smart, well educated girl with a great future waste time on something that is so obviously messy? Who cares what his deal is? Get rid of him and get your mental peace back. Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted February 10, 2018 Share Posted February 10, 2018 So, he's essentially looking for someone to fulfill a specific role for him. This is likely not going to result in a so-called "traditional" relationship, if that's what you're looking for. He appears to be lot more interested in what you can do for him rather than in you as a person. Yeah its obvious this is not LOVE. He is just looking for someone to fulfill his weird fetish. He has a sugar daddy fetish.. ha ha. Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted February 10, 2018 Share Posted February 10, 2018 just googled the femdom stuff. its bang on again. in fact it even talks about how they love women in high heels - he often talks about how much he loves girls in heels. WEIRD. I secretly love the idea of this. its just.. new. Just the fact that you are still talking to him is good enough evidence that you are indeed enjoying the attention. Which in turn shows that you have some issues yourself... maybe you really need a man to date? Or you are so impressed by his achievements that you are putting up with bunch of BS? I don't know... because a normal smart woman would get rid of such a guy asap. Also warning, if you break up with him, he may turn into a stalker and harass you. I have bit of an experience with such a guy. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 10, 2018 Share Posted February 10, 2018 I suspect he has other irons in the fire. Anyways he's grooming you. If you want to play along that's fine because he isn't being harmful. Enjoy it while it lasts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author paloma22 Posted February 11, 2018 Author Share Posted February 11, 2018 (edited) I suspect he has other irons in the fire. Anyways he's grooming you. If you want to play along that's fine because he isn't being harmful. Enjoy it while it lasts. what do you mean by this? also, i should add i did double check that he did delete/inactivate and not unmatch me on the dating app we met on. also, i now have his credit card info, he also gave me access to his net worth, which is quite a lot for someone our age. i don't know why he wanted to share this info but i finally let him bc he seemed adamant about it (does this make me a bad person?) he still wants me to buy myself and him things on his dime, and now i understand why he seems ok with it (he has $ to spare). its all weirding me out, but even yesterday we had a long chat about the feasibility of this relationship and he continued to reassure me constantly that he wants to try. he even said he wasn't against moving here... again, i agree. still skeptical but i do believe he's being upfront/honest. i want to walk away but i really have no real reason to yet? i haven't really met anyone around where i currently live/its a small town. yesterday he said he wants to be my bf. he even asked for assurance that if he books his flight i wont cancel on him last minute. so he's obviously got human/emotional concerns too... maybe dating someone like him makes me a weirdo too, or maybe it illustrates my own 'issues' but tbh i kind of appreciate the absolute blunt transparency of all of it. its refreshing, albeit i do realize some of this a bit extreme. in the meantime, i am not closing my eyes to other opportunities out there. he is going on a boys trip south soon and while many of the friends hes going with are married, i have no control over what he does over there and he has none over what i do here. Edited February 11, 2018 by paloma22 Link to post Share on other sites
2much4 Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 (edited) I agree with what cookies said. I think he has a fetish. Some guys get off buying girls stuff. My guess would be this is also part of some kind of role play. Some people like being dominated in bed, while others enjoy being bossed around in day to day life. I guess it depends if you're ok with his fetish or not. If you're cool with this kind of power dynamic, why not. Edited February 11, 2018 by 2much4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author paloma22 Posted March 11, 2018 Author Share Posted March 11, 2018 (edited) Update: he is coming to visit me in 5 days. A bit nervous - he has already bought me gifts; dresses, lingerie, flowers prior to his arrival and allowed me to plan all of our outings, which is getting pretty darn expensive. I offered to help pay for some and he said we can discuss it. 2 weeks together here after only really 4 days worth of dates in total with this man. He has talked about how he wants to be my 'perfect man' while here and cook me dinner while i am at school, make little surprises, etc. Again with all the romantic perfection statements. He has also talked about how he wants to see my girly side/fancy side which is interesting. I must admit I am excited, but my fear is we will have a glorious 2 weeks together, then it will end when he realizes the realities of this 'relationship'/sees where i live, etc. I have an important exam 2 weeks after he leaves, and have asked him to avoid any of 'the talk' while he's here, bc I don't think i can handle the emotional instability if it ends so close to my exam. I am trying to do what I would not normally do; keep it light and fun, allow him to fall in love with my free spirit side (a very small part of me, usually very structured and at times neurotic which i believe he knows). I just want to enjoy it and not always fear and be insecure of it ending/him also dating other girls. Any advice for me ? Edited March 11, 2018 by paloma22 Link to post Share on other sites
heavenonearth Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 just googled the femdom stuff. its bang on again. in fact it even talks about how they love women in high heels - he often talks about how much he loves girls in heels. WEIRD. I secretly love the idea of this. its just.. new. Urgh what a turnoff. Glad my boyfriend prefers a woman who does not need to torture her body in order to turn him on. Heels are a terribly sexist invention. But overall, OP, go ahead if this turns you on. To each their own. Link to post Share on other sites
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