Fair Posted January 20, 2018 Share Posted January 20, 2018 They used to do this all the time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
clist8511 Posted January 20, 2018 Share Posted January 20, 2018 I definitely would. I would prefer it to someone who was 'on' everything 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ZayKayWill Posted January 20, 2018 Share Posted January 20, 2018 They used to do this all the time. </thread> Lol. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
maxi105 Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 (edited) I guess if you are serious about dating someone...and the word used was serious, then surely its about what the person is like and if you are a good match or believe yourselves to be. if you are in a situation where for some reason circumstances change or someone you really like doesn't have social media then your validity to that person and the relationship will be tested; so wouldn't it be better then to step up to your commitment to them as a person and to what you are trying to do, get to know a person properly if you both agree you'd like to do that without all the baggage and negative judgements and hurdles before you can really see their true worth or what they are made of? surely if you are serious in your intent to date wouldn't you at least go for that date or give them a chance? I don't believe anyone one with strong feelings would reject or be able to ignore someone they felt attraction to because if your heart feels for someone it feels for them and that's how it is. so yes, I do think its rather shallow and would think it pretty silly or childish if someone would be prepared to not give someone a chance or wish to date them for not having social media. there was life before social media and there was love before it as well..not to mention people able to communicate and think and evaluate things in a more balanced way without the social comparrisons, insecurity and surface judgements. but for those that wouldn't date others on that gorunds then good luck to you, it isn't something I would put down as an important means of telling you about a person...and lets face it...how much of what you read on people's social media is the truth or what they really think or feel half the time, theres a lot of "******" on line and pretence to try and bolster an image, fear of not fitting in, needing to appear busy with what is for most people a lot of the time pretty mundane occurances dressed up to show off, keep a profile or show you are one of the crowd. I guess its nice sometimes to date someone who can think for themselves and keep a conversation flowing with things that are not always about the self or material achievements and acquisitions and that kind of thing. I guess ot all boils down to what you want from a date, do you want to know about them or be hooked up with his/her best mates, work friends, relatives, places they've been on holiday.....its better face to face and in real time in the real world. that for me is the best kind of dating, not pressing endless buttons or having a concensus on endless trivial things simply because I can access them. but that's how it works for me. I try to take people as I find them in a dating context in the real world and real for me is accepting them for what they are when I meet them and treating them with a courtesy that will allow them to be who they are and not feel degraded, belittled or ashamed if they don't have this or that because the majority do. ah well...lil ole fashioned me, if you like someone you adapt, there are quite a few posts on OLD's and any social media posts that people feel regretful for not giving people the chances they desearve....if you are looking to meet someone, then you have to be willing to give them a chance, as they will have done to accept the date or invite you. good wishes to you all. maxi. Edited January 21, 2018 by maxi105 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 I have a question... Wouldn't you find out more "true" information about a potential date by checking public records versus social media?? I, personally, don't have any social media presence, but I imagine if I wanted to impress a potential date on a social media site, I would "cherry pick" certain pictures, quote Franz Kafka or Elizabeth Bishop and write a "middle of the road" opinion on all controversial topics... All of which could be complete BS. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 What’s wrong with that? I only date people who earn enough to be self-sufficient, because I’m nobody’s meal ticket. I only date people who drive small cars, preferably electric or hybrid. I would not date someone who drove a diesel (unless a work vehicle like a tractor) or a SUV (unless they were a game ranger) or any car that cost more than the most modest home. It’s about finding people who share your values. Huh? I'm not sure if you have a particular opposition to diesel fuel or what but they typically have a lot better gas mileage than gasoline engines. If your issue is they are not environmentally friendly you should do more research. They are present in a lot of cars in Europe for that reason (and they refine it better). Regarding the social media, I found that most people create drama from it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hoosfoos Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 In a heartbeat - social media is garbage. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 It's the digital age and a lot of dating has gone digital. I hear a lot of people say they e-stalk their dates to get a better idea of who the person is. I am wondering how many people would date someone with no social media at all. Let's say you didn't meet through friends or family, but they seem great but they don't have a facebook,linkedin,instagram or even a whitepages page.You cannot find one trace of this person online. Would you date them? Why not? All this means is, you learn to use your own intuition and gut instincts about the guy. People dated and got to know one another without social media in the past and many turned out totally fine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 (edited) It's the digital age and a lot of dating has gone digital. I hear a lot of people say they e-stalk their dates to get a better idea of who the person is. I am wondering how many people would date someone with no social media at all. Let's say you didn't meet through friends or family, but they seem great but they don't have a facebook,linkedin,instagram or even a whitepages page.You cannot find one trace of this person online. Would you date them? Yes. I'm older. I grew up during a time cell phones and computers didn't exist. Hell, phones without a cord didn't exist. Beepers were all the rage in high school, but only "dealers" had them. When I was getting close to giving birth, my husband had a beeper for easier and faster communication. I remember when those big, clunky cell phones came out. I remember the first VCR. Our remote control for the VCR had a cord. I know why the remote is called a "clicker." I grew up without cable and was the victim of only having cartoons for a few hours on Saturday morning, the atrocity! Those holiday specials were what we lived for! The great Pumpkin! I love Google. I used to buy a detailed book of map every other year and would utilize it heavily...now we have directions on this phone announcing when to turn left. Some have FB, some don't. Twitter, instagram, snapchat...totally clueless on those. In my world, social media isn't a deal-breaker. I know a lot of people who have an account, but rarely use it. It's really a non-issue for me, personally. I'm curious where people land that grew up in a world with internet and social media, Xbox live, texting, etc. It seems far more important them, but this is the world they grew up in. Edited January 21, 2018 by act00 Spelling, far, not fare. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 In my generation the question would be would you seriously date someone without a telephone? My parents would have laughed and said sure, who has a phone? People met at school or church or USO dances Hence, I get why young folks who've known social media for much of their lives live it. Among my social group most of the oldsters who use it do so because their grandchildren are all over it and they want to keep up with their far-flung families. I don't mind the stuff, different strokes, but don't have your head in it while we're on a date 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 I'm on FB for TWO very important reasons: - schedule Dungeons and Dragons games - schedule high school reunions. My class has had two that we scheduled through FB. The one before that was scheduled through a combination of email and snail mail. We also use FB to plan mini-meetings when someone who has 'moved away' returns to town for some reason. FB is great to schedule these and other types of group events. Other than that ..... meh. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toots Posted January 22, 2018 Share Posted January 22, 2018 Huh? I'm not sure if you have a particular opposition to diesel fuel or what but they typically have a lot better gas mileage than gasoline engines. If your issue is they are not environmentally friendly you should do more research. They are present in a lot of cars in Europe for that reason (and they refine it better). Thank you for patronising me, but I’m fully aware of the situation. You may wish to read this article which admits that the UK policy of encouraging diesel cars was wrong, and led to the horrific levels of air pollution that cities like London are now struggling with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toots Posted January 22, 2018 Share Posted January 22, 2018 I'm curious where people land that grew up in a world with internet and social media, Xbox live, texting, etc. It seems far more important them, but this is the world they grew up in. Maybe I’m even older. We didn’t even have TV. One phone per household, for quick calls only. If you wanted to chat to your friend, save up your change and go use the phone box round the block. We were certainly not dependent on tech, in the way old people accuse today’s kids of being. But we use it. All my friends have social media. Co-workers too, those older and those younger. It’s like a portal for news, info, sharing. Like email used to be in the 90s. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted January 22, 2018 Author Share Posted January 22, 2018 (edited) I should have drawn a distinction, but I classed 'whitepages.com' under social media, even though that is more public record. I have a problem with both and don't want to share mine. The trouble is especially apparent when online dating. People often want to add you to their social media right away. They use it to get a bunch of info on you. That would be telling them my surname. I try to dodge these questions. I have given fake names to some guys. Too many weird experiences to hand it out, but don't want to come off paranoid. Some of these men call me out and say "you're nowhere online!!!" I am very grateful I didn't give my surname/social media to my last date. I might have found a sacrifice on my doorstep. Edited January 22, 2018 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted January 22, 2018 Share Posted January 22, 2018 I try to dodge these questions. Why would you try to dodge them? Why not just tell them flat out no, my social media is personal, I don't give it out until I know you well enough? Nothing paranoid about that, it's common sense. I wouldn't want a perfect stranger to be able to go through all my holiday photos from 10 years ago. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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