When will it be ok to ask her out again after flaking on me? **Updates**

[Cookiesandough]

Oh okay...well, not too shabby for a first date. Mine was a lot worse. If the mood doesn't feel right usually there is not enough chemistry so you have to work on ways to generate some in subtle ways OR you don't do it because it's not there.

 

Do you think she might be shy?

[bobross00]

Oh okay...well, not too shabby for a first date. Mine was a lot worse. If the mood doesn't feel right usually there is not enough chemistry so you have to work on ways to generate some in subtle ways OR you don't do it because it's not there.

 

Do you think she might be shy?

 

 

I don't think she's the shy type. Maybe in certain situations. She's a party girl. The chemistry was there until we got to her place. Her friends were there for a little while, so it was awkward.

 

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I didn't think of what to do past getting dinner. When we left and were about to go into her place i was like "well this is happening". I didn't continue to hit on her.

[olivetree]

You are way too stuck on a girl that you went out with twice in THREE MONTHS.

She isn't interested.

It's clear as day.

 

And for the record, I'm a girl and I say don't ask her out again.

Even if she ends up agreeing to do so, it will be because she is bored, needs validation, etc.

 

You're in college.

There are plenty of chicks in that sea.

Find one that likes you too!

[bobross00]

You are way too stuck on a girl that you went out with twice in THREE MONTHS.

She isn't interested.

It's clear as day.

 

And for the record, I'm a girl and I say don't ask her out again.

Even if she ends up agreeing to do so, it will be because she is bored, needs validation, etc.

 

You're in college.

There are plenty of chicks in that sea.

Find one that likes you too!

 

Do you think she'll come to me if i continue to not pursue her? I see her all the time.

 

Also, we were on vacation for an entire 1.5 months.

[olivetree]

Do you think she'll come to me if i continue to not pursue her? I see her all the time.

 

Also, we were on vacation for an entire 1.5 months.

 

No I don't, because she's not into you.

 

BUT, forgetting about her is your best chance.

 

You really need to meet other girls.

[bobross00]

No I don't, because she's not into you.

 

BUT, forgetting about her is your best chance.

 

You really need to meet other girls.

 

 

Shes probably not interested now but she HAD enough interest to go on a date and actually show that she WANTED to end up at her or myapartment. Hopefully forgetting works.

 

 

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Ultimately i think its my lack of social skills and neediness after the date that screwed me. If your social skills are on par and youre funny, you can get any girl. Im not worried about my looks

Edited January 12, 2018 by bobross00

[bobross00]

I went out with this girl a few times months ago. When i first met her at the bar, i blatantly said "you should come home with me". We just exchanged numbers. Eventually she ended up standing me up and made up a bs excuse

 

Since then she has tried to make me jealous since i did the same to her. Time has gone by and i flat out asked her what she wanted. She said 'nothing'. I then pause for a little bit and she makes a weird face. I then said "im curious, what did it". She said "it just wasn't there". I then said that i'm glad she told me so i don't have to waste my time and was nice to meet her. She said she'll see me around. I just kind of made a face

 

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This all took place in a packed bar. She then starts dancing wildly (she never does) and looks to see if i'm looking at her. When she realizes i'm not, she just stares at me (i saw it in my peripheral vision). I start talking to this one girl and she's just there taking glances at me and occasionally dancing. There's another point where she blatantly stares at me while i walk past her, i just don't look at her.

 

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Also, she's been bringing other guys with her to the bar. I don't know what all of these actions mean. I know she said she wants 'nothing', but her actions afterwards confuse me.

 

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What is this? And why did she start dancing around after talking to her (she usually never does) and occasionally look at me?

 

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edit:

 

Also I wasn't looking at her first. As she was dancing, she saw me walk past. I completely looked straight ahead. When she realized i wasn't looking, she stared me down as i walked past.

 

**tl;dr**: This girl said she wanted nothing, when i simply asked her what she wanted. She then proceeds to dance (usually doesnt) and sees if i'm looking. She's looking at me as i talk to other girls and continues to dance. What is going on here? What's the psychology behind it?

[Imajerk17]

OK I give up. What the hell is with all these threads lately where someone is confused by someone who says not interested but keeps staring.

 

Getting back to the OP's situation. All this is just way too much drama. Dating just should not be this hard. Move on.

[Cookiesandough]

I'm confused. You said you went out with this girl a few times, then you say that when you asked her out the first time she met she flaked. Did you go out with her or no?

 

 

Also, how do you know if she's blatantly staring at you if you aren't staring at her??? lol. Even if you're looking in your peripheral, you don't know if she's staring at you or someone behind you or just in your general direction or at all. And even if you went out with her a few times, you don't know that she "never" dances crazy like that. Unless you've been stalking her or something?? You barely know her.

 

If she said she's not interested, she's just not, and it's better to just move on. You can't make someone jealous if they aren't interested. When I see guys I have passed on with other girls I am happy for them.

 

It really sounds to me like the psychology behind this is that you are looking too much into things because you are interested in her. She probably notices this, and although she's not interested, she doesn't mind the attention of getting to you. When you asked "What did it" she was honest and told you it just wasn't there. Just move on.

[bobross00]

I'm confused. You said you went out with this girl a few times, then you say that when you asked her out the first time she met she flaked. Did you go out with her or no?

 

 

Also, how do you know if she's blatantly staring at you if you aren't staring at her??? lol. Even if you're looking in your peripheral, you don't know if she's staring at you or someone behind you or just in your general direction or at all. And even if you went out with her a few times, you don't know that she "never" dances crazy like that. Unless you've been stalking her or something?? You barely know her.

 

If she said she's not interested, she's just not, and it's better to just move on. You can't make someone jealous if they aren't interested. When I see guys I have passed on with other girls I am happy for them.

 

It really sounds to me like the psychology behind this is that you are looking too much into things because you are interested in her. She probably notices this, and although she's not interested, she doesn't mind the attention of getting to you. When you asked "What did it" she was honest and told you it just wasn't there. Just move on.

 

I went out with her technically two times. We ended up at her apartment (we didn't have sex) and we made out.

 

 

And she's at the same bar that i go to every weekend, but everyone on campus goes there. Usually she doesn't dance.

 

And she definitely was staring. I posted this elsewhere and people claimed it was all in my head. It's really annoying because i know what i saw. As soon as i walked past her (without looking), she stopped dancing and was trying to see if i would take a peak. When i was talking to another girl, she just stood there for a little bit and was looking at me. I looked up once, and indeed, she was eyeing me. She then started dancing and i looked up once another time, she's looking at me again, and averts her gaze.

[Jj66]

There is a lot of crazy out there. Best to run along, run along.

[bobross00]

Also, i've been noticing that the people close to her looking at me. Two of her friends came up to my friends and i, and they were noticeably nicer to me.

 

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Her guy friend (idk if they have anything going on or not), was literally eye f*cking me yesterday while i was at a different bar.

[Cookiesandough]

I went out with her technically two times. We ended up at her apartment (we didn't have sex) and we made out.

 

 

And she's at the same bar that i go to every weekend, but everyone on campus goes there. Usually she doesn't dance.

 

And she definitely was staring. I posted this elsewhere and people claimed it was all in my head. It's really annoying because i know what i saw. As soon as i walked past her (without looking), she stopped dancing and was trying to see if i would take a peak. When i was talking to another girl, she just stood there for a little bit and was looking at me. I looked up once, and indeed, she was eyeing me. She then started dancing and i looked up once another time, she's looking at me again, and averts her gaze.

She sounds like a typical college girl whose lifeblood is attention from boys so even though she doesn't want to date you she still wants your attention on her. Don't feed it and move on is my best advice.

[bobross00]

She sounds like a typical college girl whose lifeblood is attention from boys so even though she doesn't want to date you she still wants your attention on her. Don't feed it and move on is my best advice.

 

I don't think she's the type looking for a 'relationship' from what i know about her. I think she wants the whole casual experience.

Edited January 21, 2018 by bobross00

[d0nnivain]

Next time you see her in the bar, ask her to dance. It's college. No need to get more involved. Elaborate dates are not the norm until after you graduate.