I broke no contact with an email...

[NewPageTurner]

Its okay. You will learn with time what works for you but you have to kind of trust everyone on here since most people have been through something similar. In my first breakup, I couldn't fight the urges for the first few months and I made a fool of myself by eventually sending her an email and letter in the mail as those were the only forms of communication I had left. It all just made me feel worse. I look back on it now and think how foolish it was of me.

 

You need to go pretty strong on NC. I even went as far as having websites like twitter and instagram blocked so I physically couldn't look at her social media. I would also count the days of NC until I stopped caring (>100). You can get through this but the first thing you need to do is accept that its over and that she will never contact you again and that its for the best.

 

It's such a hard thing to accept. We were best friends for 4 years. I never ever thought she would turn her back and be okay with not talking to me ever again.

[Fever of love]

It's such a hard thing to accept. We were best friends for 4 years. I never ever thought she would turn her back and be okay with not talking to me ever again.

 

Yes it's surreal. Mine was 22 years, living in each others pockets and talking every single day. Then they're gone, as if they never existed, never going to speak again.

 

It reminds of that conjuring trick, The Magic Curtain: 'One minute you see 'em, the next you don't!'

 

It's food for thought, to say the least.

 

Good luck on your journey.

[Mystyry]

OP, I want to say that I do feel a lot of empathy for you. I am sorry you are struggling so much with this and, though debatable whether it was a good move or not, seems like reaching out seemed to help you and brought some peace.

 

I wonder, reading your wonderful and thoughtful email, what her side of the breakup story is, given that you are certain she won't respond to such a heart-felt message. Reading your post and some responses, it seems like there are many stories of "breakups out of the blue" - meaning everything was perfect, and suddenly one person breaks up and blocks someone one social media. I am certainly not meaning to generalize and I am sure there are some instances of sudden unexpected breakups out there. But usually something had to have happened, you had to have seen that somehow - either by relationship dynamic, or somewhere else. My advice would be to keep those differences in mind, learn from them and use them to help you move on.

 

Moving on is different for everybody. If it helps to be angry in the process to speed up the healing, as long as you are able to emerge a healthy strong you, that's ok. But remember that breakups happen for a reason, incompatibility reason usually. Stay strong and best wishes to you.

[NewPageTurner]

OP, I want to say that I do feel a lot of empathy for you. I am sorry you are struggling so much with this and, though debatable whether it was a good move or not, seems like reaching out seemed to help you and brought some peace.

 

I wonder, reading your wonderful and thoughtful email, what her side of the breakup story is, given that you are certain she won't respond to such a heart-felt message. Reading your post and some responses, it seems like there are many stories of "breakups out of the blue" - meaning everything was perfect, and suddenly one person breaks up and blocks someone one social media. I am certainly not meaning to generalize and I am sure there are some instances of sudden unexpected breakups out there. But usually something had to have happened, you had to have seen that somehow - either by relationship dynamic, or somewhere else. My advice would be to keep those differences in mind, learn from them and use them to help you move on.

 

Moving on is different for everybody. If it helps to be angry in the process to speed up the healing, as long as you are able to emerge a healthy strong you, that's ok. But remember that breakups happen for a reason, incompatibility reason usually. Stay strong and best wishes to you.

 

 

Our relationship saw many hardships that were heavy for her to carry due to her lack of life experience. I made many mistakes and felt like everything I did to make it better was always unwanted and got me nowhere. I just fight to keep my head up and focus on me. I have friends and family beside me, and of course the anonymous community here does give a shoulder in it's own unique way.

I love her so much, but I'm understanding more each day that I can't chase someone that doesn't want me.

One day I'll be a man worth keeping despite my down falls. I don't want to settle with the first woman that gives me attention, but one day I hope to find that level of love and passion again.