Author Lou1973 Posted January 4, 2018 Author Share Posted January 4, 2018 So I was thinking alot about all this today and it's good that I have been able to see very clearly the reasons why this could never have worked between us, I'm not trying to convince myself as it became crystal clear and I wanted to share that with you all as you have all been a tremendous help do here are the massive red flags and dealbreakers for me in no particular order: He does not take into consideration my feelings and thoughts He does not communicate effectively and at times not at all He has no coping skills in or during conflict He does not handle criticism He has a complete lack of respect for me as his partner He has some aggressive behaviour He does not face confrontation or show a willingness to calm down and try and sort out any issues instead choosing to ghost me and keep on ignoring me which is a form of emotional and mental abuse He does not role model healthy behaviour in front of his kids and my child and let's them hear and see unsavoury behaviour Also i kind of feel that his lack of contact since Sunday morning has kind of made me feel used for my home in some ways. Not just on the weekend with the kids but he had stayed that week at the beginning of the week at my place while I went to work. Sure he made dinner once and cleaned up around the house but I guess it's better to use someone elses electricity and Water and Wi-Fi instead of your own. It's better to place yourself in a location that serves your purpose to be close to beaches and stuff when you dont have that near your own home and when all you did was hand over a $50 that would hardly have covered half the grocery bills for the week. Yes I'm a fool and only have myself to blame for being so soft but I'm a fool no more.... also i forgot to add : Our different parenting styles and attitudes And that our morals and values were not in alignment Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 So I was thinking alot about all this today and it's good that I have been able to see very clearly the reasons why this could never have worked between us, I'm not trying to convince myself as it became crystal clear and I wanted to share that with you all as you have all been a tremendous help do here are the massive red flags and dealbreakers for me in no particular order: He does not take into consideration my feelings and thoughts He does not communicate effectively and at times not at all He has no coping skills in or during conflict He does not handle criticism He has a complete lack of respect for me as his partner He has some aggressive behaviour He does not face confrontation or show a willingness to calm down and try and sort out any issues instead choosing to ghost me and keep on ignoring me which is a form of emotional and mental abuse He does not role model healthy behaviour in front of his kids and my child and let's them hear and see unsavoury behaviour Those are all definite deal breakers for me. Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 So I was thinking alot about all this today and it's good that I have been able to see very clearly the reasons why this could never have worked between us, I'm not trying to convince myself as it became crystal clear and I wanted to share that with you all as you have all been a tremendous help do here are the massive red flags and dealbreakers for me in no particular order: He does not take into consideration my feelings and thoughts He does not communicate effectively and at times not at all He has no coping skills in or during conflict He does not handle criticism He has a complete lack of respect for me as his partner He has some aggressive behaviour He does not face confrontation or show a willingness to calm down and try and sort out any issues instead choosing to ghost me and keep on ignoring me which is a form of emotional and mental abuse He does not role model healthy behaviour in front of his kids and my child and let's them hear and see unsavoury behaviour Also i kind of feel that his lack of contact since Sunday morning has kind of made me feel used for my home in some ways. Not just on the weekend with the kids but he had stayed that week at the beginning of the week at my place while I went to work. Sure he made dinner once and cleaned up around the house but I guess it's better to use someone elses electricity and Water and Wi-Fi instead of your own. It's better to place yourself in a location that serves your purpose to be close to beaches and stuff when you dont have that near your own home and when all you did was hand over a $50 that would hardly have covered half the grocery bills for the week. Yes I'm a fool and only have myself to blame for being so soft but I'm a fool no more.... Hopefully, you are exploring what led you to let this man stay at your house after just one month of dating, especially when there were children involved. This smacks of extremely poor judgement on your part. No matter how great he may have seemed initially, you cannot know someone in just a month. That you would bring a stranger into your home where your daughter lives is alarming. This part of the situation is squarely on you and where you should be focusing your introspection, imo. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
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