ThisisIt606 Posted January 4, 2018 Posted January 4, 2018 Break up with him, now! Cut off all contact. Tell your friends and family what he has done (the physical and verbal abuse) so they are aware and can help protect you if needed. Get a restraining order if needed. You owe him nothing. He's a monster and you should be thinking of yourself and your own safety. You don't need this abuse or stress. Better to be alone than to be abused. 2
Author fixandfix Posted January 4, 2018 Author Posted January 4, 2018 Thanks all. I've told my family and some friends about it. They told me to leave him as well. I'm trying my best to sort out my emotions now before I meet him to tell him. It hurts so badly, I cry everytime I think about it, and I cry myself to sleep that it's so so so unhealthy. But I cannot hold back my tears. I'll leave him, but I'll need a lot of courage to do so. Especially when I'm reminded of the 6 years we have together, I cannot just say leave and leave that's it. I need some time to sort out these emotions in me even after I've left. It hurts and it's my first long term relationship and we've even had plans to settle down this year.
d0nnivain Posted January 4, 2018 Posted January 4, 2018 You can't stay based on the sentimentality of the 6 years you have had together. He's becoming dangerous. Maybe it was good once but it's bad now. When you feel weak, think about the violence. It should give you the impetus to move forward & away from him notwithstanding your long history.
Author fixandfix Posted January 5, 2018 Author Posted January 5, 2018 Okay, i will talk to him about the break-up tomorrow and see whats going to happen. I've informed my family members about my decision.
kassy Posted January 5, 2018 Posted January 5, 2018 Good luck, but it's not a discussion. You are going in to tell him it's over. The result will be it's over. You need to be firm on this in your mind as he will try to stop you from leaving and he knows how to get to you, he won't play fair. Whether he is as sweet as candy or makes you feel bad about yourself, or physical. Be strong, do this for yourself, your happiness, safety and future children.
d0nnivain Posted January 5, 2018 Posted January 5, 2018 How did he take the news, fixandfix? How are you?
Author fixandfix Posted January 5, 2018 Author Posted January 5, 2018 I'm telling him today. I'm meeting him in a few hours time. But my friends have been asking why the sudden change and losing patience so easily? He said it was because of job but my friends tell me could it be because of another girl? Idkk. Cos people who've met him before or my friends were all shocked. Even my family members.
RecentChange Posted January 5, 2018 Posted January 5, 2018 Abusers are often very good at hiding their behavior from others. They are sweet and nice to everyone, then terrible to the one they supposedly loved. When my sister was young she was in a long term, abusive relationship. Us family members had no clue until she told me about the things he did behind closed doors after she got the courage to break up with him. My dad used to love him, "he's so nice, polite, and takes care of my daughter". I really liked him, I thought he was a fun, cool, friendly guy. He also used to tie her to a chair, and scream in her face that she as worthless. We had NO CLUE. Again, he has no respect for you. Shoving food in your face? Grabbing your ear as if you were an unruly toddler? Your mother unfortunately set a terrible example. Partners in a relationship should be equal, you are not subservient to him.
Author fixandfix Posted January 5, 2018 Author Posted January 5, 2018 Abusers are often very good at hiding their behavior from others. They are sweet and nice to everyone, then terrible to the one they supposedly loved. When my sister was young she was in a long term, abusive relationship. Us family members had no clue until she told me about the things he did behind closed doors after she got the courage to break up with him. My dad used to love him, "he's so nice, polite, and takes care of my daughter". I really liked him, I thought he was a fun, cool, friendly guy. He also used to tie her to a chair, and scream in her face that she as worthless. We had NO CLUE. Again, he has no respect for you. Shoving food in your face? Grabbing your ear as if you were an unruly toddler? Your mother unfortunately set a terrible example. Partners in a relationship should be equal, you are not subservient to him. This time I am determined. I wrote down my speech (lol) to make sure I don't get distracted and make sure I tell him what he has done to me is wrong and I'm out. If he wants me back, he will need to sort his **** out first and not do it onto me. 1
hippychick3 Posted January 5, 2018 Posted January 5, 2018 This time I am determined. I wrote down my speech (lol) to make sure I don't get distracted and make sure I tell him what he has done to me is wrong and I'm out. If he wants me back, he will need to sort his **** out first and not do it onto me. We are rooting for you! Stay safe!
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