grays Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 What kind of stuff is he lying about? If he's such a bad liar that it's obvious and you call him on it, you'd think he'd get the hint and stop. Sounds very cringe-worthy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Taryanoriley Posted January 16, 2018 Author Share Posted January 16, 2018 He lied about a girl being his sister. He lied about telling his family about me. He lies about going to school after work. He lies about going places. He lied about having tinder on his phone and then deleted it. Basically at this point I don't trust him and he accuses me of not trusting him and turns it around on me and makes me feel bad. Is this normal? Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 Its not a healthy relationship! I can tell you that much. He lies all the time. He shows his lack of respect for you by lieing to your face. He shows his lack of respect by turning things around on you when he is in the wrong. He shows his lack of respect, commitment, and love by manipulating you with threats and breaking up with you. He hides you from his family. From what you have told us, this sounds like a terrible relationship that leaves you feeling poorly, and has no future due to religious reasons. Here are some questions for you: Why do you allow yourself to be treated this way? Why do you let someone lie to your face and just take it. Why do you cling to someone who shows your so little respect Why does he have the power in the relationship? Why is it that he treats you badly, yet is also the one to break up with you, and control you? Why don't you demand better for yourself? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 He lied about a girl being his sister. He lied about telling his family about me. He lies about going to school after work. He lies about going places. He lied about having tinder on his phone and then deleted it. Basically at this point I don't trust him and he accuses me of not trusting him and turns it around on me and makes me feel bad. Is this normal? NO Not normal, and not acceptable. If you are inexperienced, this is setting a Terrible precedent. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 The question is not why he lies. The question is why you beg a guy who you don't trust to take you back each time he dumps you. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 He lied about a girl being his sister. He lied about telling his family about me. He lies about going to school after work. He lies about going places. He lied about having tinder on his phone and then deleted it. Basically at this point I don't trust him and he accuses me of not trusting him and turns it around on me and makes me feel bad. Is this normal? Do you believe in your head that it is NORMAL behavior that people function through life, work and relationships by compulsively lying? You have start taking a hard look at yourself - asking such a question is truly baffling. It is indicative of your own dysfunction. He may be a compulsive liar but what about YOU keeps you staying with a man like him? 6 Link to post Share on other sites
LilySun Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 Do you really want to marry a habitual liar and be stuck with that forever? Come on now... Surely you know that deserve much better? Ask your self, are you really happy? It doesn't seem like it. Only happy couples want to get married.. Well usually. Lol. And knowing he's a huge liar, you don't think he's using you for a green card? Think about this. I have a friend that married a Turkish guy in college. After marriage he was also a big liar, and physically abusive. Turns out, he was definitely in it for the green card. They were divorced by senior year. She was miserable and even though he treated her terribly, she married him anyway. She would tell you now it was the biggest mistake of her life. They also had a "connection". Get out NOW while you can. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 OMG! Are you still with this clown? You KNOW he's a user. You KNOW he's a liar. You KNOW he's no good for you. Where is your self respect? What is he doing to your self esteem? You could do so much much better than him. Heck your Grandma could go down to the county jail and pick up some drunk at random and probably do better. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Taryanoriley Posted January 22, 2018 Author Share Posted January 22, 2018 So we have been together for 5 months and he only wants to see me once a week and when he does make a plan it's ways last minute. For example today I asked if he wants to hangout on Friday and he said he does but he doesn't know if he will work so he will tell me on Thursday for sure. The thing is he works on Fridays and finishes at like 4. Why is he saying "if he works" when I know for a fact that he does work. I just said k and don't feel like talking to him. Is this an excuse? Also these last few weeks he would always say he feels sick and he doesn't know if he can hangout. For me that was a red flag because you can't be sick every week:/. Please help guys:( I feel like breaking it off because this is not what a real relationship should be like. Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 Yep, big, huge red flag. He's just using you to fill the void. You're worth more than that. Tell him to fill his own void and find yourself someone who values you and wants you around more often than when they want their once-a-week shag. I'd really like it if you told him he's the worst shag you ever had and you faked all your orgasms. He deserves it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 He's a known liar yet you ask these questions. Are you so blind? When does sense knock itself into your head? You've got all kinds of red flags slapping you when it comes to your boyfriend yet you act clueless as to his behavior. You should have broken up with him a long time ago. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 Fishy, go back and re-read all your posts about this guy. How long are you going to stay in a relationship which is clearly unsatisfactory to you? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 ...I'm guessing there's some backstory. I think I'd be fine with seeing a bf once a week. Or less. But there's definitely some backstory. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 When are you going to respect yourself and demand better treatment? It's never going to come from this guy. Break it off before you get an even more skewed idea of what is okay in a relationship. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Taryanoriley Posted January 23, 2018 Author Share Posted January 23, 2018 Thanks for your advice guys. My intuition and gut have been telling me something is not right but I am just ignoring and staying with him because of my low self esteem Link to post Share on other sites
olivetree Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 I didn't read your other threads. But he's either not that into you, distancing himself before he breaks up with you, or is keeping you at arms length. All of these things don't lead to a good, happy relationship. Best to break it off. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 Thanks for your advice guys. My intuition and gut have been telling me something is not right but I am just ignoring and staying with him because of my low self esteem Maybe it's time to work on that self-esteem because that is something you can change and your life can be so much better. You can't change him therefore, staying is only going to kick you further down a dark hole. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 Definitely not a good thing, your bf should def want to see you more if he is free. Sounds to me like he has other women on the side and he doesn't want to lose you just in case other women don't work out. Any day my bf and I are free, we spend it together. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
heavenonearth Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 I sometimes see my Boyfriend only once per week when he works a lot. But he still makes an effort to see me more than that. If you feel like he is not making an effort at all, why bother ? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 Thanks for your advice guys. My intuition and gut have been telling me something is not right but I am just ignoring and staying with him because of my low self esteem You need to trust your gut. I've seen a couple of your threads, this guy just keeps messing you around and clearly isn't giving you what you need from a relationship. Your self esteem is something you need to work on. As Zahara said, you can't change him, or anyone else for that matter. The only thing you can change is yourself and your actions - as you work on it you'll feel much happier in yourself - even if you're not in a relationship! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LilySun Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 If he's off work at 4 then why couldn't he make plans with you for that evening? And yeah, being sick that often doesn't make sense and sounds like excuses not to see you. It sounds a lot like you are not the only girl in his life, and if you are, he's definitely not very into it. Sorry 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 Thanks for your advice guys. My intuition and gut have been telling me something is not right but I am just ignoring and staying with him because of my low self esteem Well you getting your self esteem to a more robust level is YOUR heavy lift. No one else's. When are you going to get around to the task of seeing to it? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
heavenonearth Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 Wow, I just saw your back story in the previous threads... You need to dump the guy! He is just dragging you along until he finds something better.... either that, or he is just too cowardly to break up with you! Please just leave him and move forward with someone who's admiring you and who wants to spend all his time with you! Don't settle for less. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Taryanoriley Posted January 25, 2018 Author Share Posted January 25, 2018 I have terrible relationship anxiety. Everytime my bf doesn't write back quick enough or responds in an indifferent way or doesn't say goodnight I love I get super anxious and cant stop thinking and it's killing me. In my head I think he has already broken up with me and it's over and I can't sleep and eat. Guys what is wrong with me?((( How can I stop feeling this way? It's killing me Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted January 25, 2018 Share Posted January 25, 2018 (edited) You've written three threads already on your relationship, where you were told time and time again how unhealthy your relationship was. You didn't take any of the advice though. So what is the point of this thread. What advice do you expect to get different from your previous threads. Are you hoping to finally be told something more to your liking? Edited January 25, 2018 by Imajerk17 6 Link to post Share on other sites
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