lana-banana Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 We warned you! Seriously, it's doable, but even for low-maintenance brides like us it's really not a lot of time. And congratulations to you, Elswyth---if you think time is flying now, just wait! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 We have met with our priest. He gave us lots of information. I didn't know that Convalidation was basically a Catholic wedding. We still have to go through pre marital counseling but we only need two sessions due to our relatively long civil marriage. We're going to book our favorite restaurant for our reception. We're meeting with the manager on Friday. I've already talked to a make up artist so that will be booked soon. Our photographer will be booked next month. Our wedding is in October of 2019 so we have so much time. I prefer to book certain early so that I will not be stressed. I'm attending university again so I don't want to have too much on my plate. We're not booking transportation, decor, and our wedding cake baker until sometime next year. We'll be using artificial flowers so we won't need a florist. I never thought that an intimate wedding would require so much planning! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Els Posted May 22, 2018 Author Share Posted May 22, 2018 (edited) We warned you! Seriously, it's doable, but even for low-maintenance brides like us it's really not a lot of time. And congratulations to you, Elswyth---if you think time is flying now, just wait! We have met with our priest. He gave us lots of information. I didn't know that Convalidation was basically a Catholic wedding. We still have to go through pre marital counseling but we only need two sessions due to our relatively long civil marriage. We're going to book our favorite restaurant for our reception. We're meeting with the manager on Friday. I've already talked to a make up artist so that will be booked soon. Our photographer will be booked next month. Our wedding is in October of 2019 so we have so much time. I prefer to book certain early so that I will not be stressed. I'm attending university again so I don't want to have too much on my plate. We're not booking transportation, decor, and our wedding cake baker until sometime next year. We'll be using artificial flowers so we won't need a florist. I never thought that an intimate wedding would require so much planning! Thanks for the support, ladies! BettyDraper - yeah, October 2019 is plenty of time - I wouldn't sweat that, haha! Currently I'm thinking that we might need to settle for "good-enough" in some aspects. There are so many things that we have in our heads that we want to realize, like a custom ceremony, creative invitations, a kick-ass pre-wedding shoot with our wedding clothes, etc etc.... but at the end of the day we will likely need to cut down on SOME things to maintain our sanity, lol. I wonder if we will regret cutting down on those things, later on. Edited May 22, 2018 by Elswyth Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 Everybody has to make hard choices about their wedding. You can't do or afford everything. You will regret not going good photos. The rest all kind of blends together in a big blur. The one thing I really regret not taking more time to enjoy my own cocktail hour & not being pickier about my wedding cake. I took a hands off whatever approach & the cake was ugly. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 Thanks for the support, ladies! BettyDraper - yeah, October 2019 is plenty of time - I wouldn't sweat that, haha! Currently I'm thinking that we might need to settle for "good-enough" in some aspects. There are so many things that we have in our heads that we want to realize, like a custom ceremony, creative invitations, a kick-ass pre-wedding shoot with our wedding clothes, etc etc.... but at the end of the day we will likely need to cut down on SOME things to maintain our sanity, lol. I wonder if we will regret cutting down on those things, later on. You can still have creative invitations! http://https://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/wedding-cards-stationery/wedding-invitations?categoryCode=93692 https://www.elegantweddinginvites.com/shop/laser-cut-wedding-invitations-2/ Don't skimp on food, the ceremony and photography. Your guests will remember the wedding meal and the ceremony. You will need good photographs for your own memories. As for a your gown, my dress for my civil wedding was a Mori Lee and it was only $700. Maybe that's because it was rather simple. $700 is cheap for a designer gown. Try to find a trunk or sample sale to save on costs. You may also be able to rent your wedding gown as well. We're changing our venue to a small luxury inn. The inn specializes in intimate weddings and it is more cost effective than the restaurant we were going to use. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Els Posted May 23, 2018 Author Share Posted May 23, 2018 Everybody has to make hard choices about their wedding. You can't do or afford everything. You will regret not going good photos. The rest all kind of blends together in a big blur. The one thing I really regret not taking more time to enjoy my own cocktail hour & not being pickier about my wedding cake. I took a hands off whatever approach & the cake was ugly. This makes a lot of sense, thanks! Our Save the Dates were very simple and I didn't regret those, so I'm pretty sure I won't regret sending out cliche albeit pretty invites. Besides, apparently they usually go in the recycling bin... You can still have creative invitations! http://https://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/wedding-cards-stationery/wedding-invitations?categoryCode=93692 https://www.elegantweddinginvites.com/shop/laser-cut-wedding-invitations-2/ Don't skimp on food, the ceremony and photography. Your guests will remember the wedding meal and the ceremony. You will need good photographs for your own memories. As for a your gown, my dress for my civil wedding was a Mori Lee and it was only $700. Maybe that's because it was rather simple. $700 is cheap for a designer gown. Try to find a trunk or sample sale to save on costs. You may also be able to rent your wedding gown as well. We're changing our venue to a small luxury inn. The inn specializes in intimate weddings and it is more cost effective than the restaurant we were going to use. Haha, I already have my dress - I may be a procrastinator, but I'm not THAT bad! Our wedding is this year. All the best with your planning. The venue selection was one of my favourite parts. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 Think about all the weddings you have ever been too. What do you remember? If you are like most people you remember maybe where it was; what you wore; and whether you had fun. Not much more about somebody else's wedding sticks in your head. My attitude was I threw a kick-a$$ party. If you didn't have enough to eat or drink & you didn't have fun, that was your fault because I put all the elements in place. I didn't do any kitchy gimmicks: no photo booth, no signature cocktail, no champagne toast (although good champagne was available at the open bar for those who like it but since most don't & it sits there getting warm, skip the expense), no choreographed dance (we just kind of stood there & swayed, very boring but I would have been freaking out trying to remember dance steps). Everybody said our wedding was one of the best they ever attended. At times the whole room was up dancing. Just have fun. After your vows, the rest is just details. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted May 24, 2018 Share Posted May 24, 2018 You will only regret doing or not doing something which matters to you. If fancy pieces of paper don't matter, don't sweat it. Don't pressure yourself to become a beautiful, flawless, stress-free fairytale princess. Just be you. There are people who will say you can't have your dream wedding, that all brides experience things going wrong, that there will be things you wish were different. It's not true. I had my dream wedding and then some just because we were laser-focused on what we cared about: food and drink. We held our party at the best cocktail bar in the country (where we had many of dates and got engaged) and had Michelin-starred chefs do the food and dessert. No ceremony, no dancing, nothing but a swank atmosphere and an incredible meal. Even now our friends say it's the best wedding they've ever been to. Think about what experience you want to create for your guests, and what you want to remember about your wedding day afterwards. Do you envision everyone energetic and giddy, or relaxed and at peace? Do you think you'll be swanning around from table to table, or would you rather them come up to you in a reception line? Know what you want to do and try to make it happen. My wedding day flew by but I ultimately couldn't be happier. If you have a ceremony with a priest or speaker, see if you can get a copy of the remarks beforehand. There are few things more awkward than a lovely ceremony with a speaker who goes rogue or rambles on for too long. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 24, 2018 Share Posted May 24, 2018 There will be a hiccup or two but in the long run some little imperfection won't matter. We had more then our fair share but they don't matter. The limo forgot to pick up my parents; so I was "late" because I refused to start without them. The priest & the DJ called my husband the wrong name. Like I said I hated my cake. Our best man was hospitalized & couldn't make. DH's grandmother died 2 weeks before our wedding. My uncle died the day after. When I saw it in photos I hated my dress. If we let all of that drag us down, we would have never made it down the aisle or would have gotten divorced before we got home from the Honeymoon. Now we just laugh about it. Even grandma's passing -- we say she wanted to dance with grandpa at the wedding but the only way she could do that was to go to him. Do pay attention to the details before hand but seriously don't sweat the small stuff. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted June 8, 2018 Share Posted June 8, 2018 Welp....my mom is already making demands and she isn't even paying. The utter audacity is astounding. I don't want to invite certain cousins because they have spread nasty rumors about me. They are jealous of my mother so they direct their bitterness toward me. My mother is insisting that I invite them because it "looks bad". I'm going to invite them while gritting my teeth. I don't want any drama or headaches. My mother is already hinting at not attending unless I invite certain people. Nice huh? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 8, 2018 Share Posted June 8, 2018 It's a shame that weddings bring out the worst in people. I don't want any drama or headaches. My mother is already hinting at not attending unless I invite certain people. Nice huh? Tell her you are sorry she feels that way & you will miss her. Don't let her into blackmailing you into having miserable people there. My mother tried this. She wanted us to invited the son of her BFF. 6 months earlier that guy had tried to literally kill my then Fiancé -- seriously, the guy smashed a bottle on a bar in a drunken rage & came at my beloved with the jagged glass. Mom said she wasn't coming if this animal wasn't invited because her BFF was upset & was threatening not to come. We assured both my mom & her BFF that we would miss them but that there was no way this jerk son was getting an invite. Both of them came but the son did not. Never heard another peep out of either of them on the subject. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted June 8, 2018 Share Posted June 8, 2018 It's a shame that weddings bring out the worst in people. Tell her you are sorry she feels that way & you will miss her. Don't let her into blackmailing you into having miserable people there. My mother tried this. She wanted us to invited the son of her BFF. 6 months earlier that guy had tried to literally kill my then Fiancé -- seriously, the guy smashed a bottle on a bar in a drunken rage & came at my beloved with the jagged glass. Mom said she wasn't coming if this animal wasn't invited because her BFF was upset & was threatening not to come. We assured both my mom & her BFF that we would miss them but that there was no way this jerk son was getting an invite. Both of them came but the son did not. Never heard another peep out of either of them on the subject. When we were engaged, my mother tried to take over our wedding. We wouldn't allow that so she became very belligerent and started gossiping about us to other family members. We eloped partly to get away from her. The fallout led to an estrangement on my side and very hurt family members on my husband's side. Now that we are having our Catholic wedding, we are inviting our families and both of us would like each set of parents to be at least partly happy with our arrangements. We feel guilty for hurting our parents so badly when we eloped so we're just going to acquiesce. It's just not worth the arguments. I'm glad that you didn't invite that awful man to your wedding. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted June 10, 2018 Share Posted June 10, 2018 Congrats We are getting married next year too. Our only disagreement: I want our dogs at the ceremony:lmao: 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Els Posted June 10, 2018 Author Share Posted June 10, 2018 Congrats We are getting married next year too. Our only disagreement: I want our dogs at the ceremony:lmao: Congratulations to you too! Man, I am so tired of paying extra for rush fees and priority deliveries, lol. If only we'd given ourselves a few months more, everything would be so much easier! And this isn't even the sort of mistake you can learn from "for next time". Getting pretty exhausted with all the prep, but it's surprisingly enjoyable at the same time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
georgia girl Posted June 11, 2018 Share Posted June 11, 2018 Just a quick thought, Elswyth... For our wedding, I also didn’t want cookie cutter invitations so I went to the local stationary store and bought blank cards with all of the accoutrements, including a gold leaf border. Cost me about $100 for 100 invitations. I then designed and printed my own, creating a watermark from a design someone had drawn for me, adding the language and fonts I wanted and they turned out spectacular. No rush fees - and no rush - and totally custom. While most people do just toss the cards, I actually had a couple of people ask me where I got my invitations from because they wanted to use the same watermark. ? If you are creative and enjoy doing things like this, it’s an awesome way to save money and get the custom look you want. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Els Posted June 11, 2018 Author Share Posted June 11, 2018 Just a quick thought, Elswyth... For our wedding, I also didn’t want cookie cutter invitations so I went to the local stationary store and bought blank cards with all of the accoutrements, including a gold leaf border. Cost me about $100 for 100 invitations. I then designed and printed my own, creating a watermark from a design someone had drawn for me, adding the language and fonts I wanted and they turned out spectacular. No rush fees - and no rush - and totally custom. While most people do just toss the cards, I actually had a couple of people ask me where I got my invitations from because they wanted to use the same watermark. ? If you are creative and enjoy doing things like this, it’s an awesome way to save money and get the custom look you want. This sounds amazing! But we are lacking time much more than we are lacking money at the moment, haha. Wedding planning feels like an additional part-time job, albeit one with high job satisfaction! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jenitta Posted June 19, 2018 Share Posted June 19, 2018 First of all, Congratulations!! And well regarding your question, I think its completely fine. In fact, its a great idea.!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Els Posted June 19, 2018 Author Share Posted June 19, 2018 First of all, Congratulations!! And well regarding your question, I think its completely fine. In fact, its a great idea.!! Thanks. We didn't actually need to make the stipulation - the couple close to us with small kids couldn't come for other reasons. There is another couple less close to us, but with them we just decided to name the couple on the invite and set the online RSVP system to only accept 2 people for that household. Didn't need to mention it otherwise, all of our other guests either have older (and very well-behaved) children or are child-free. Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 Thanks. We didn't actually need to make the stipulation - the couple close to us with small kids couldn't come for other reasons. There is another couple less close to us, but with them we just decided to name the couple on the invite and set the online RSVP system to only accept 2 people for that household. Didn't need to mention it otherwise, all of our other guests either have older (and very well-behaved) children or are child-free. That's a relief for you! We have booked our decorator and our venue. I was going to invite a cousin of mine but she became very negative about my ideas. When I told her that it would be best if she didn't attend, she threw a tantrum and insulted me. I'm glad that we won't be speaking anymore. My husband can't stand her because she's rude and she constantly brags. Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted June 22, 2018 Share Posted June 22, 2018 Thanks. We didn't actually need to make the stipulation - the couple close to us with small kids couldn't come for other reasons. There is another couple less close to us, but with them we just decided to name the couple on the invite and set the online RSVP system to only accept 2 people for that household. Didn't need to mention it otherwise, all of our other guests either have older (and very well-behaved) children or are child-free. This is smart but I wouldn't necessarily assume they got the message. People's feelings about kids at weddings transcend reason, logic, even basic mathematics. You can check plenty of wedding etiquette forums and find guests who thought "2 persons" obviously still included kids. If you have any uncertainty whatsoever, try to double check. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Els Posted June 22, 2018 Author Share Posted June 22, 2018 This is smart but I wouldn't necessarily assume they got the message. People's feelings about kids at weddings transcend reason, logic, even basic mathematics. You can check plenty of wedding etiquette forums and find guests who thought "2 persons" obviously still included kids. If you have any uncertainty whatsoever, try to double check. What, really?!?! How would you recommend I check in with them about it, especially given that they're only an acquaintance? I still feel so new to all this stuff despite having been in it for months now, haha.... Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 23, 2018 Share Posted June 23, 2018 Congratulations! I'm sure that there will be some people who are offended... You can't please all the people all the time and some people just don't understand why others don't find their children as delightful as they do... But, it is your day. Do as you like and don't worry if people are unhappy. They will get over it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted June 23, 2018 Share Posted June 23, 2018 Congratulations! I'm sure that there will be some people who are offended... You can't please all the people all the time and some people just don't understand why others don't find their children as delightful as they do... But, it is your day. Do as you like and don't worry if people are unhappy. They will get over it. I agree with this. Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted June 23, 2018 Share Posted June 23, 2018 Congratulations! I'm sure that there will be some people who are offended... You can't please all the people all the time and some people just don't understand why others don't find their children as delightful as they do... But, it is your day. Do as you like and don't worry if people are unhappy. They will get over it. I agree with this. People will always have something to criticize regardless of the decisions we make. Sorry about the double post. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 I have to give you props, Elswyth. In reading your thoughts on another thread I'm very impressed with the way you view marriage/life partnerships. You've got a great head on your shoulders and a very kind heart. I wish you a long lifetime of happiness with your fella. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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