ffar Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 (edited) If he can lead his thought processes in terms of positives instead of all the things he doesn't do, he will hopefully find more confidence. Positive thinking will only make you only feel better. Sometimes can even lead to lie yourself by saying that everything is fine, when it is not. I was not negative, I was realistic in my previous post. I am done with self pity, negativity for years already, nothing changed except fact I am looking with more rational way. With is great but that's it. What you offer is wishful thinking. Edited February 11, 2018 by ffar Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 Positive thinking will only make you only feel better. Sometimes can even lead to lie yourself by saying that everything is fine, when it is not. I was not negative, I was realistic in my previous post. I am done with self pity, negativity for years already, nothing changed except fact I am looking with more rational way. With is great but that's it. What you offer is wishful thinking. If you're done with self pity, why are you on here talking about being a nice guy who was rejected again a week ago? It sounds to me like you haven't yet given up. Hence trying to help you see yourself in a more positive light. Thing is, if you can only lead with your failings, then this is all others will see in you. Do you want support or should I just go away? Link to post Share on other sites
ffar Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 (edited) I guess because I wanted to agree with AlphaMale, and disagree with people who are talking opposite. I don’t think that anyone can totally give up, ups and downs. So yes, I was sad about that fact I got another fail but that does not mean I need hugs or wishful thinking believes. Like, soon you will find the one, or she did not deserve you and most important girls like nice guys. I use to believe in them, but I end up no more farther 11 years later. And yes, I am not happy with that, I am not happy with fact I am lonely, but I won’t force anyone to love me. But I am still here facing that, not crying, it is something that happens. I am trying stay strong, sometimes I can't. Suicide thoughts are present, b Don’t go away, let me tell you that I have feeling that you got me totally wrong. The best prove for me that people don’t finding me as self-pity person(in real life – because online, you did), is that they often asking me for advices, and how I am handling all of this. For example people at work, who can’t stand it anymore, asking me, how I am doing it, since job is so rubbish. Girls like me, they like talk to me, but all I am, is a friend. A friend who help with painting, will listen how bad their boyfriends are(and how cool I am – but some of them reject me as a boyfriend – ironic). No material for boyfriend, because like I said before, they finding my person as boring person or even else, I don’t know. And again, I just giving a facts about that. Not self pity here. But if you ask me if I prefer myself to being seeing as good boyfriend material or friendzone dude, I would say of course boyfriend. But I am not. If it comes for self-pity, I know a man who had lots of girlfriends and one-night stands, and he is full of self-pity, and complains about many things. At the moment he is in relationship with girl who rejected me as well. Besides, I think we have different definition of Self-Pity. For me it Is someone who is telling everyone how his life sucks. Not a person who has its own demons, everyone has them. Edited February 11, 2018 by ffar Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 I knew a woman MS degree Low six figure income Always slim, well groomed Not a ten, but at least a 6. Slightly better than average Appeared to have good social skills, though I never saw her when she was being hit on or how she interacted with single men, this is where I suspect her problem was Was she too picky, I do not know She did not find a man to marry her until she was forty Link to post Share on other sites
ffar Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 I wonder it that men was really someone special for her or regular men who she would never find attractive when she was younger and in her eyes I guess more beautiful and attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 (edited) Ha, thanks to you too Imajerk. It's not so much about the ffar selling himself to women, but selling himself to himself. If he can lead his thought processes in terms of positives instead of all the things he doesn't do, he will hopefully find more confidence. See as someone who used to struggle making connections I actually don't think I agree w this though. There is just something deeper, a masculine presence, that we as guys need to have to attract women. If you have that, then women will be attracted even if you have lots of problems. You can't really get that w positive self-talk, especially since (I think) ffar ALREADY knows he has more going for him than the average bear. His frustration, I'm getting, is seeing guys who don't have nearly as much going for themselves, getting w the women he wants to date. Edited February 11, 2018 by Imajerk17 4 Link to post Share on other sites
kkm994 Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 (edited) The only female you will get in bed when you are nothing short of "NICE" to this women is hookers!I think even hookers would like some respect...... Edited February 11, 2018 by kkm994 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ffar Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 See as someone who used to struggle making connections I actually don't think I agree w this though. There is just something deeper, a masculine presence, that we as guys need to have to attract women. If you have that, then women will be attracted even if you have lots of problems. You can't really get that w positive self-talk, especially since (I think) ffar ALREADY knows he has more going for him than the average bear. His frustration, I'm getting, is seeing guys who don't have nearly as much going for themselves, getting w the women he wants to date. Well actually painful part is when you hear after you have been put in friendzone that she wishes her present boyfriend would be so nice and good like you are... But yes, girls LOVE NICE GUYS... this was one of the statement I use to believe. Girls were telling me that. Who knows better than them who girls truly want? I use to believe in that, experience tells something different. And since so many men can confirm it, it is becoming actually offending that when you are giving false believe. Shame that lady quit conversation, but thanks anyway for try. Shame that lady quit conversation, but thanks anyway for try. Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 Well actually painful part is when you hear after you have been put in friendzone that she wishes her present boyfriend would be so nice and good like you are... But yes, girls LOVE NICE GUYS... this was one of the statement I use to believe. Girls were telling me that. Who knows better than them who girls truly want? I use to believe in that, experience tells something different. And since so many men can confirm it, it is becoming actually offending that when you are giving false believe. Shame that lady quit conversation, but thanks anyway for try. Problem is that most girls don't screw nice guys. Link to post Share on other sites
ffar Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 Well you are right. Actually they may love them in lot's of aspects. But don't make love with them. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 (edited) The only female you will get in bed when you are nothing short of "NICE" to this women is hookers!I think even hookers would like some respect...... even hookers huh.... you can judge a mans metal (what he is made of) or what makes a real man truly nice.... by how "nice" he treats a hooker on a street corner who smells like sex and nonoxynol 9......or the homeless man asking for a dollar who hasnt had a bath since circa 1980... or the old woman trying to cross the road in peak hour traffic holding up the cars as she struggles with a walker............ a nice man is a man who is nice to those who others aren't or others who are supposedly nice who don't even acknowledge there peoples as having the right to breathe the same air......he isnt just nice because others are nice to him or is he just nice because he will gain anything from being nice......he is nice because it is who he really is..and really nice women....can tell the difference....a nice guy wouldnt say even hookers deserve respect....he would say all women deserve respect and not sexualise a woman or base respect on sexual habits of a woman.........deb Edited February 12, 2018 by todreaminblue 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 even hookers huh.... you can judge a mans metal (what he is made of) or what makes a real man truly nice.... by how "nice" he treats a hooker on a street corner who smells like sex and nonoxynol 9......or the homeless man asking for a dollar who hasnt had a bath since circa 1980... or the old woman trying to cross the road in peak hour traffic holding up the cars as she struggles with a walker............ a nice man is a man who is nice to those who others aren't or others who are supposedly nice who don't even acknowledge there peoples as having the right to breathe the same air......he isnt just nice because others are nice to him or is he just nice because he will gain anything from being nice......he is nice because it is who he really is..and really nice women....can tell the difference.......deb Also known as chivalry. Real chivalry is shown to all around, not just those who we wish to romance. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 Also known as chivalry. Real chivalry is shown to all around, not just those who we wish to romance. too true basil.....chivalry is the new black.....deb Link to post Share on other sites
ffar Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 Yeee chivalry. „Listen, I like you, but I feel like a disable in front of you, because I know how to hold umbrella or open the door”. or “I like confident men, not the one who try to buy my hart with flowers or being nice servant” many of quotes like that. Helping old lady go across street? Or give some money to homeless who is asking for it. Absolutely yes. Link to post Share on other sites
LurkerXX Posted February 13, 2018 Share Posted February 13, 2018 Yep, most people, including the pretty woman, know what you are all about if you hold the door open for a pretty woman, while an old couple are struggling to get the door open with what they are carrying. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted February 13, 2018 Share Posted February 13, 2018 Yep, most people, including the pretty woman, know what you are all about if you hold the door open for a pretty woman, while an old couple are struggling to get the door open with what they are carrying. too true.......i have taught my kids to open doors for all people....if you walk through a door first you hold it for the next person....what warms my heart to see is young men who go to my church holding the doors open for their mums or others...its just...how it should be.....chivalry aint dead.....because if i see men fail in this department...ill hold the door open.....as will my kids.....my granddaughter...how you keep chivalry's heart beating is you teach it...by example....its a contagion....it will spread...because it actually feels....wonderful to do....it uplifts you as much as it does others.....its hands on what is good and right in the world.....chivalry..deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyKatLady Posted February 13, 2018 Share Posted February 13, 2018 You know what I say..."F**k mean people Link to post Share on other sites
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