Captivating Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 Thing is I really need to get out of this area we moved down here together and everything reminds me of her, we went everywhere together...I am not the most social person, on the other hand she was...i just can't figure out where to go...I have tried to contact her, foolishly. No reply...I just don't get it she wrote such loving letters and did such loving things for so long. I think she does not want to face the guilt, she does not want to deal with it. Selfish , inconsiderate thinking. She will though in a matter of a year perhaps ... when the rosy glasses wear off a bit and she starts to see who she is dating. Focus on yourself, no contact will help you immensely. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MarkTorr Posted November 18, 2017 Author Share Posted November 18, 2017 I made the mistake of making her my world...I never thought she would do this Link to post Share on other sites
wishyouneverleft Posted November 18, 2017 Share Posted November 18, 2017 I made the mistake of making her my world...I never thought she would do this I feel for you, sir. I made the same mistake, and although it was no where near your time frame, the loss was like falling into a bottomless pit. I didn't see the light and think I wouldn't be here typing this if someone hadn't helped me overcome this. I would of definitely needed time off from work and was on the cusp of losing EVERYTHING. I hope all goes your way and wish you a healthy recovery and may everything go your way. The older I get the more I realize how fickle matters of the heart can be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MarkTorr Posted November 18, 2017 Author Share Posted November 18, 2017 Thank you kind poeple, I really thought she would be with me forever, Link to post Share on other sites
Author MarkTorr Posted November 18, 2017 Author Share Posted November 18, 2017 How long ago was your breakup Mark? I hear myself in what you're saying. 22 yrs for me, 5 months ago. Its that state of shock feeling, just as if you had just been in car crash. You're not thinking straight. I'm still not thinking straight either, though I sometimes see glimpses of being rational these days. Still cuts to the bone though like nothing else in life though. I left in June, we stayed in house fora couple months, thing is I need to contact her for some items Link to post Share on other sites
Jdoublenn Posted November 18, 2017 Share Posted November 18, 2017 When the going gets tough, the women start quitting... I saw this quote and just had a mantel breakthrough. This is the quote of my LIFE right now. Except it is literally "When the going gets tough, the man started quitting" . Sorry to distract from the OP. But i had to say this. Thank you OP I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through. I pray you find your peace in time and are able to pick up and move on. Your soulmate is out there, i guess it just wasn't her. Im so sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
chinadiary Posted November 18, 2017 Share Posted November 18, 2017 Same here, except I'm female. 11 years. I've moved to a beautiful island. Paradise really, and I'm in a mess. Can't sleep, work is a mess, can't focus on anything. How do people do this to others? I don't get it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MarkTorr Posted November 19, 2017 Author Share Posted November 19, 2017 I am not saying I was perfect, I worked a lot of hours and was on call a lot. But I don't get why someone would go that far in life with me and profess her love just to leave when we got our dream home...It has taken the wind from my sails Link to post Share on other sites
alterest Posted November 19, 2017 Share Posted November 19, 2017 Woah.. 17 yrs is long enough. I can't even imagine your pain. But the only thing you can do right now is improve yourself and invest in your life. Don't hide your emotions tho. If you need to cry, go to your badroom and cry a lot, if you need to punch something, go to a gym and do some fight class. Be gentle with yourself and allowed the pain to go out your body. Don't hide it in your heart and don't try to reach her out... It's pointless. Go NC and every time you think about her, go cook something, go to a walk, do something to take her out of your mind. And don't blame yourself or her or the other guy. When you do that you only put yourself inside more pain and more suffering, cut that chain from you. The path of pain is easier but lead you into a f**** darkness. Try new hobbies, spend some time with your beloved ones and even with yourself... And I know it's pretty hard to spend time alone after a break up, but is good to your healing process. I'm so sorry again, man... Must be harsh as hell for you, but I know you will get over this. Keep strong and do your best! Link to post Share on other sites
Author MarkTorr Posted November 19, 2017 Author Share Posted November 19, 2017 i guess people change,,,she was the best 4 along time Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted November 19, 2017 Share Posted November 19, 2017 I am not saying I was perfect, I worked a lot of hours and was on call a lot. But I don't get why someone would go that far in life with me and profess her love just to leave when we got our dream home...It has taken the wind from my sails You never really know people. All you can do is sever any contact remove her things and go your own way. Hard to do upfront but it's all you have. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted November 19, 2017 Share Posted November 19, 2017 i guess people change,,,she was the best 4 along time You never really know people. All you can do is sever any contact remove her things and go your own way. Hard to do upfront but it's all you have. At the end of my relationship I found I had fallen in love with a woman who would throw it all away for nothing. It's what she's done her entire life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MarkTorr Posted November 20, 2017 Author Share Posted November 20, 2017 Mark, did you get half of the money when your house sold? Or did you lose it? You mentioned she sold all the belongings. You receive that money as well? Or did she clean you out? we had house in her name, she gave me a few thousand, it made over 30k. I git some stuff but she got most of it, I am living with relatives spare room. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted November 20, 2017 Share Posted November 20, 2017 Okay, first.....how the hell would you know that she's living the life in AZ? Unless, you're keeping tabs on her to which you need to stop doing. Time to go full NC (NO CONTACT) with her so you can heal. You're at a low point. Hell, probably the lowest you can go. Well, there's only one direction to go and that's up! Start to re-build yourself. You need to pick yourself up. You need to start making positive changes to your life. Personally, I'm jealous that you're in Florida Right now. I LOVE that state. So, maybe you need to pull yourself up and move to a small little coastal town. (if you're not there already). You need to get to the gym. Run your ass off on the thread mill and push weight. One thing about guys over 50, women are used to seeing guys with "Dad Bod's" So, work out and eat right and give them something different! Then, find yourself some new hobbies. Things that you will enjoy doing. Then, find clubs in your area that have people that have the same shared interest and join them! Put yourself out there and meet them! So, go do something! Maybe a cooking class, or get you dive certification. Or join a cycling club, or co-ed sports! Keep busy and have fun!!!!! Then, go see the world! Travel! See what's out there! Expose yourself to different people and see different cultures! Dude, you're life isn't over. You just opened up a new chapter. So, don't let it end like a Greek tragedy. Make it adventurous! Time to heal dude. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MarkTorr Posted November 20, 2017 Author Share Posted November 20, 2017 I want to heal...It is hard...I made all the mistakes, Why would she come so far with me just to give up? I know she is in az because we lived together for 4 months before she left, she gave me hope we would work it out, she said I needed to move out, we just needed to separate for a while, so she could miss me. Florida is ok, but all it does is remind me of her, even watching the local news, knowing she is so far away...I need to move, but she was my home. She told me I was her everything, she also took my beloved dog and cat...I have tried antidepressants but they scare me. The sence of loss is overwhelming, we looked for our dream home for so long...I feel so embarrassed amongst my family as they loved her to, she was a huge part of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted November 20, 2017 Share Posted November 20, 2017 I want to heal...It is hard...I made all the mistakes, Why would she come so far with me just to give up? I know she is in az because we lived together for 4 months before she left, she gave me hope we would work it out, she said I needed to move out, we just needed to separate for a while, so she could miss me. Florida is ok, but all it does is remind me of her, even watching the local news, knowing she is so far away...I need to move, but she was my home. She told me I was her everything, she also took my beloved dog and cat...I have tried antidepressants but they scare me. The sence of loss is overwhelming, we looked for our dream home for so long...I feel so embarrassed amongst my family as they loved her to, she was a huge part of my life. Cheater script she move you out to get rid of you. Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted November 20, 2017 Share Posted November 20, 2017 Sounds like she screwed you over, buddy. That's nothing to be embarrassed about. She may have been cheating on you throughout some of the later part of the relationship, at least, emotionally. And then she took your pets? Man, that's cold. People change. Maybe she had a midlife crisis. Maybe the guy she's with will one day do the same to her. Whatever the case, this story is over and it is time for a new one for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MarkTorr Posted November 21, 2017 Author Share Posted November 21, 2017 (edited) it so hard, I feel so stuck...at ths age i had it all, now have to start over ugh Edited November 21, 2017 by MarkTorr Link to post Share on other sites
Daniella D Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 my now ex as in he broke up with me 2 weeks ago but we share a house together..and it just hit home last night .Over the weekends its all a romantic bubble until Monday comes round and he pulls away ...and I need to remember we have broken up..I cant take it He was my best friend my lover my business partner for 4yrs..And just overnight he decides his no longer in love with me.. And he wont tell me why?? Damn its harsh I know how you feel Link to post Share on other sites
Author MarkTorr Posted November 21, 2017 Author Share Posted November 21, 2017 my now ex as in he broke up with me 2 weeks ago but we share a house together..and it just hit home last night .Over the weekends its all a romantic bubble until Monday comes round and he pulls away ...and I need to remember we have broken up..I cant take it He was my best friend my lover my business partner for 4yrs..And just overnight he decides his no longer in love with me.. And he wont tell me why?? Damn its harsh I know how you feel It is hell isnt it? nobody can relate unless it happend to them Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 It is hell isnt it? nobody can relate unless it happend to them I think most adults either have felt or will feel this pain. Not only is the divorce rate over 50%, but a marriage isn't always the first relationship. Suffice it to say this is part of life, but a brutally painful part at that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MarkTorr Posted November 22, 2017 Author Share Posted November 22, 2017 I know the stats, it doesn't make it any easier...is it really 50 %...i think that is exaggerated number Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted November 22, 2017 Share Posted November 22, 2017 what suck is I still love her and the hoildays are gonna be hard But you Love who you THOUGHT she was... and evidence shows she isn't that person. So you lived someone she pretended to be. It's difficult - but needs to be reconciled for yourself. Believe I did the same thing with my exH - had to process that all those 23 years he never was who he pretended to be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MarkTorr Posted November 23, 2017 Author Share Posted November 23, 2017 she was that person, she was so sweet to me, i am totally lost without her Link to post Share on other sites
Author MarkTorr Posted November 26, 2017 Author Share Posted November 26, 2017 How do I ever recover? I made all my plans with her. It does seem possible. Link to post Share on other sites
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