Men, Pregnancy, and trust

[GemmaUK]

This is a personal decision, and while you might find it odd, the reality is not everyone wants to be a mother or a father, and they will take measures to permanently stop the ability to do so and avoid any accidents if they are that confident that this is their path.

 

I remember my office manager from many years back who didn't want children...ever. I found it so strange. I was very young and while I had known another couple that didn't want children, I was still very naïve. I have no idea if my office manager permanently sterilized herself or if her husband did, but what I do remember is that she stated she had a hard time finding a mate who equally didn't want children. The biggest issue was finding a man who had the same mindset as far as offspring.

 

It's my understanding that young people of childbearing age have a greater level of difficulty getting these procedures done, particularly if they haven't already had children. I think very few doctors easily go in for a "snip and a clip" unless there is serious backup that this choice is well thought out.

 

I don't think anyone has addressed the OP's choice to permanently disable pregnancy and child-rearing, as it really isn't the issue at hand...she doesn't want children. No one gets to judge her for it.

 

As it pertains to dating and relationship, the potential spouse needs to be of like mind, and the OP needs to be open to the fact that children are not an option. Her potential mate may have already had a vasectomy by now.

 

I'm not questioning any of that at all.

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I just find it quite hard to believe that a medical professional would agree to it at such a young age as there would usually be extenuating circumstances for medics to agree to it.

 

OP must have battled for years to get to the point where this was agreed especially since she has no children.

[smackie9]

I haven't read the whole thread and I'm sure someone will have addressed it but I don't understand how you got your tubes tied at age 25.

Tho many doctors would hesitate, when I talked to my surgeon how my doctor kept putting me off til I was in my 40's (never had or wanted kids), he told me that when you are an adult, you can have them tied if that is your decision. He would have had np doing the surgery. I was pissed because I wanted it done at 28. If I had only known, I could have bypassed my stupid doctor I would for sure had it done.

 

I think it's a woman's right to do whatever to her own body.

 

I think the OP may have had a medical reason that granted her the surgery.

[GemmaUK]

Tho many doctors would hesitate, when I talked to my surgeon how my doctor kept putting me off til I was in my 40's (never had or wanted kids), he told me that when you are an adult, you can have them tied if that is your decision. He would have had np doing the surgery. I was pissed because I wanted it done at 28. If I had only known, I could have bypassed my stupid doctor I would for sure had it done.

 

I think it's a woman's right to do whatever to her own body.

 

I think the OP may have had a medical reason that granted her the surgery.

 

I asked my doc when I was 32. There was no way it would happen.

At 40 I asked again, again it was a no.

 

OP would likely have had to go through the courts to get a medic to do this at 25. It just doesn't happen unless there is an extreme reason or set of circumstances.

Even ailments such as PCOS or endometriosis are not enough for a medic to agree to this procedure at any age from research I have done on it.

[BaileyB]

We digress... But...

 

My brother had a vasectomy after baby #2. His doctor tried to talk him out of it, suggested he give it a little more time because he may reconsider. My brother was adamant that this would not happen, and he had the procedure.

 

Five years later... HE changed his mind. He had a vasectomy reversal and I am now the proud auntie of a beautiful new neice!

 

Although I do understand that some people are sure that they will never want to have children, it is possible to change your mind about these things...

 

And, it's obviously much different for women.