OatsAndHall Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 LOL. The solution to this is to never expect a return text. Send the morning hello cause you want to and then, no expectation. I'm dating someone now. I send morning texts. I'm up really early so I do it so it there when she wakes up. I literally tell myself I am sending this because I want to. if she doesn't respond, it ok. I will remind myself that texting time is not a good indicator of anything. I'm learning that I need much larger flags to address. this gives me peace But if you ask many folks, "Good morning" texts are unacceptable and "creepy" as well.. Yet another unwritten "rule" of the current dating world. I agree, text messaging is a pain and it drives me nuts. I still use it as an indicator of interest, though. I understand that people get busy and texting someone they just met on an OLD site isn't at the top of their priority list during the day. With that being said, it's not asking too much for a response that day. And, the hot and cold communication is a HUGE red-flag for me. I have had women text bomb me for three to four straight days (dozens of texts going back and forth) and then they either stop out of the blue or I start getting three-four word responses every couple of days. So, I stop texting them and then it kicks up again, full force a few days later. That just screams "ROLODEX!" to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 So . . . it's the next morning What happened? i'd like to know too! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 We like a man to touch base with us between dates. It doesn't mean we're controlling or needy. it DOES mean you're controlling and needy Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 I swear the texting is such a killer. You can't win. Either something gets misrepresented, or a paragraph is too much or 3 texts in a row is too intense and no response at all is disheartening. The excuses I would get for the no responses when I knew very well the other person had plenty of time were such nonsense. I would send a morning hello to someone and get nothing until noon because she was "out walking". Yet whenever I was with her, she was always tapping away on her phone. And none of it would really mean anything if people picked up the phone more. Text is so impersonal. Call on the cell is the best. This date was doomed, not good if you don't hear from the woman in question. Gn - Good night (girl names goes here) Gm - Good morning (girl name goes here) Ga - Good afternoon(girl name goes here) Gb - Good bye (girl name goes here) Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 it DOES mean you're controlling and needy Woman tends to like to control a man. It's nature.. Come for dinner it's ready. The means ones would say come to dinner now dumb axx you better get down here right now jerk, get off the computer now! Mean woman is for brawny tough guy Nice woman is for handsome, sweet, nice guy 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 it DOES mean you're controlling and needy Would you care to elaborate on why it's needy for a woman to like a brief contact between dates? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
knabe Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 I don't understand this weird rule about reconfirming what you have ALREADY confirmed. You set the date, time, and place. Why do you have to restate that the day of? I have NEVER done that whole "are we still going to do what we said we would do?" thing, and I have never been stood up, nor have I stood up someone else. I mean, it's not a doctor's appointment, where they robocall you the day before lol. Does the younger generation ENJOY making dating as convoluted and difficult as possible? 8 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 Would you care to elaborate on why it's needy for a woman to like a brief contact between dates? because you want to make sure we're not running around with other women Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 I don't understand this weird rule about reconfirming what you have ALREADY confirmed. You set the date, time, and place. Why do you have to restate that the day of? because a lot of people flake at the last minute. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
heavenonearth Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 seems like this date did happen, otherwise OP would probably come back to report. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 because you want to make sure we're not running around with other women Why am I suppose to care if you are running around with other women? The only thing I care is that you be a gentleman with me by touching base and showing your interest. I am the least controlling woman you will come across. Even my bf says I don't have one controlling bone in me. Him and I had our first date on a Tuesday, then he invited me out for the following Saturday. If he had not contacted me at all between that Tuesday through that Saturday he would have ended up alone on his Saturday date. Why? because I am not interested in filling a man's agenda just for the sake of filling it. I want someone that will show a continued interest and not contacting a woman for 4 days straight is not showing a continued interest. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 Why am I suppose to care if you are running around with other women? The only thing I care is that you be a gentleman with me by touching base and showing your interest. I am the least controlling woman you will come across. Even my bf says I don't have one controlling bone in me. Him and I had our first date on a Tuesday, then he invited me out for the following Saturday. If he had not contacted me at all between that Tuesday through that Saturday he would have ended up alone on his Saturday date. Why? because I am not interested in filling a man's agenda just for the sake of filling it. I want someone that will show a continued interest and not contacting a woman for 4 days straight is not showing a continued interest. I agree with you on that one.. Your wording sounded like you got a little upset there. OP of this thread said someone off key maybe that's why she never contacted him. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 Your wording sounded like you got a little upset there. that's an understatement Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 I too think you should have kept up at least some contact until the planned date, OP. Who knows how it played out, but I don't think days of silence before a date is a great move, from either party. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 I too think you should have kept up at least some contact until the planned date, OP. Who knows how it played out, but I don't think days of silence before a date is a great move, from either party. everyone has a different MO leading up to a date. I for one don't contact because it comes off as needy and insecure. (Are we still on?? I can't wait to see you kissy kissy. You're not going to cancel on me are you?) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 I don't understand this weird rule about reconfirming what you have ALREADY confirmed. You set the date, time, and place. Why do you have to restate that the day of? I have NEVER done that whole "are we still going to do what we said we would do?" thing, and I have never been stood up, nor have I stood up someone else. I mean, it's not a doctor's appointment, where they robocall you the day before lol. Does the younger generation ENJOY making dating as convoluted and difficult as possible? Amen. I'm not sure I'm following why everyone is up on arms about 'no contact for DAYS'. If I read correctly, they spoke on Thursday. OP posted on Sunday, early, the day of the date. Assuming contact was late Thursday evening, they've been out of touch for a whole 60 hours? Yes, a simple 'Looking forward to tonight' would be fine, but shouldn't be necessary. 'Are we still on?' is negative, and gives the impression you're giving her an out if she wants it. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
knabe Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 because a lot of people flake at the last minute. Never happened to me. And if it did...I'd wait 15 minutes, leave, and go dark. It's not the end of the world. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 everyone has a different MO leading up to a date. I for one don't contact because it comes off as needy and insecure. (Are we still on?? I can't wait to see you kissy kissy. You're not going to cancel on me are you?) That is not exactly the type of communication I was referring to. It is possible to maintain some friendly contact without sending messages like those above, and thus avoiding coming across as needy and insecure. It doesn't need to be all-or-nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 I'm all for re-confirming. I reconfirm business meetings, even ones that were made the day before. It's just common courtesy. I'm not taking about the kissy face emoji nonsense somebody mentioned but a quick text the day before OR about 2 hours before is appreciated: just confirming we're meeting at [location with street address] at [time]. See you then or looking forward to it. Life happens so especially off OLD it's best to get a closer in time confirmation, IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
Art Vandelay Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 Exactly. There's a big difference between: Are we still on?? I can't wait to see you kissy kissy. You're not going to cancel on me are you? and Hi, just confirming out date for tomorrow night. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 because you want to make sure we're not running around with other women How inefficient would a man need to be not be able to run around with other women AND send a quick "hey. how's your day? looking forward to seeing you thursday" text. I do this all the time when Im multidating. takes like 3 seconds max and let's the other person know you are still interesting in seeing them 3 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 How inefficient would a man need to be not be able to run around with other women AND send a quick "hey. how's your day? looking forward to seeing you thursday" text. I do this all the time when Im multidating. takes like 3 seconds max and let's the other person know you are still interesting in seeing them look, if a woman has agreed to a date with me (time, place, etc) I don't need to keep contacting her to reassure myself she's still going out with me. it reeks of desperation and neediness. i'll pick her up at 8pm on sat nite like I said I would. I've never had a problem with this method. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 look, if a woman has agreed to a date with me (time, place, etc) I don't need to keep contacting her to reassure myself she's still going out with me. it reeks of desperation and neediness. i'll pick her up at 8pm on sat nite like I said I would. I've never had a problem with this method. Did we say Keep contacting her? Did we use words like reassure her? It would be nice if you didn't put additional words we didn't say in our mouth. I don't know how many women came on here and said it's nice to have 1 touch base communication when the date is days away. Yet you keep on insisting you know better than women what they like. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 Did we say Keep contacting her? Did we use words like reassure her? It would be nice if you didn't put additional words we didn't say in our mouth. I don't know how many women came on here and said it's nice to have 1 touch base communication when the date is days away. Yet you keep on insisting you know better than women what they like. :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
knabe Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 This is part of why asking a bunch of people what something means when said (or not said) by another complete stranger is silly. Even all of us on this thread operate differently. It's ridiculous for any of us to think we know exactly what this woman is thinking. Because we don't. No, we don't. Link to post Share on other sites
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