Girlfriends friends obsessed with men

[guest569]

 

 

This is highlighting the double standard with men and women. The responses wouldn't be negatively charged towards the OP if he was a woman.

 

Agreed, the guy would be labelled a player im sure.

 

I see it as pretty obvious immature game playing, attention seeking.. regardless of whether OP and her are official or exclusive. No one is saying that she "owes" OP anything. Or should lose her social life. But if she is serious about him then she should have more respect and stop boasting to him about clubbing in sexy clothes with sex crazed friends and random men. Come on!

 

Whatever, I see it as inappropriate and crappy behaviour to be frank. From a 30 yr old woman. (I am a 30 yo woman btw)

[kendahke]

 

Seriously? She sounds like a party girl to me... who hangs out with other party girls. If she won't take a guy serious on day 1, why would he expect that to change by day 40? or 60?

 

And right now, at less than 28 days in, she can be a party girl til times get better.

 

She's been who she's always been and has every right to be. Therein lies the difference here.

 

OP invested way too hard before even figuring out what kind of character she has and he's all blown up because HIS FANTASIES surrounding her have been crushed by her reality that he chose not to consider just because she's posting pics on facebook and it "almost seems" like they're a couple.

[Cobra_X]

And right now, at less than 28 days in, she can be a party girl til times get better.

She's been who she's always been and has every right to be. Therein lies the difference here.

OP invested way too hard before even figuring out what kind of character she has and he's all blown up because HIS FANTASIES surrounding her have been crushed by her reality that he chose not to consider just because she's posting pics on facebook and it "almost seems" like they're a couple.

 

I agree. OP got emotionally involved too quickly. He should not have pulled back when he realized she was a party girl.

 

I mean there is nothing wrong with party girls. It's just stupid to try to date them. It's also important to understand that they don't change. If they stop partying for a while, it's just temporary.

[heavenonearth]

I agree. OP got emotionally involved too quickly. He should not have pulled back when he realized she was a party girl.

 

I mean there is nothing wrong with party girls. It's just stupid to try to date them. It's also important to understand that they don't change. If they stop partying for a while, it's just temporary.

 

Why does everyone keep saying that OPs girl is a 'party girl' in the sense that it is a negative thing? Why necessitate a negative connotation?

I go party with my girlfriends a lot, but I am not a 'party girl' in that sense. The reason I go out with them is because they are younger than me and this is what they like to do. I enjoy it too, but I don't do drugs, I don't smoke, and I don't sleep around.

 

A woman can thoroughly enjoy herself and a few drinks in the company of her girlfriends without doing something stupid, you know?

And on other nights, I do the same with just my boyfriend and me. The two of us love going out dancing together as well.

 

I prefer a partner who likes to socialize and go out over someone who just wants to netflix and chill for eternity. Life's short.

 

Oh, and 30 is the new 20. Don't forget.

 

(I am 30, my partner is 38, by the way).

[OneLov]

But if she is serious about him then she should have more respect and stop boasting to him about clubbing in sexy clothes with sex crazed friends and random men. Come on!

 

But if she is not as serious about him, she would likely not change anything. That’s the point some of us are trying to make. OP seems far more invested in the idea of a serious relationship than she does at this point.

 

Dating is similar to applying for a job. IME, a guy or girl who is head-over-heels for someone will do everything in his/her power to get his/her “dream job." He/she would most certainly be weighing every interaction to ensure he/she is presenting him/herself in the most favorable light.

 

I don’t see that here. I see a more keepin-it-real approach that’s usually used when someone is applying for a job that he/she isn’t even sure of yet. Often, the thought is he/she can always politely decline the job offer if nothing changes after the application process.

 

Personally, I don’t see games or tests—it’s not that deep nor is it about the OP. It is likely plain ol’ indifference. No one employees a reverse psychology strategy when they’re seeking relationships or jobs. I know the person’s ego on the other end would like to interpret it as “gamesmanship,” but it is often more or less the person isn’t as invested in the job/relationship prospect.

Edited October 18, 2017 by OneLov

[Cobra_X]

Why does everyone keep saying that OPs girl is a 'party girl' in the sense that it is a negative thing? Why necessitate a negative connotation?

I go party with my girlfriends a lot, but I am not a 'party girl' in that sense. The reason I go out with them is because they are younger than me and this is what they like to do. I enjoy it too, but I don't do drugs, I don't smoke, and I don't sleep around.

A woman can thoroughly enjoy herself and a few drinks in the company of her girlfriends without doing something stupid, you know?

And on other nights, I do the same with just my boyfriend and me. The two of us love going out dancing together as well.

I prefer a partner who likes to socialize and go out over someone who just wants to netflix and chill for eternity. Life's short.

Oh, and 30 is the new 20. Don't forget.

(I am 30, my partner is 38, by the way).

 

30 is still 30. Party girls are still party girls. Your talking to a guy that's been down this road before. Just because she didn't do something stupid this time doesn't mean it won't happen the next time. Eventually she will do something stupid, it's like rolling dice.

 

There is a reason she surrounds herself with thirsty men. She isn't Mother Theresa.

 

But if she is not as serious about him, she would likely not change anything. That’s the point some of us are trying to make. OP seems far more invested in the idea of a serious relationship than she does at this point.

 

I would not view her as relationship material. Any man who does, makes this mistake at his own peril.

[heavenonearth]

30 is still 30. Party girls are still party girls. Your talking to a guy that's been down this road before. Just because she didn't do something stupid this time doesn't mean it won't happen the next time. Eventually she will do something stupid, it's like rolling dice.

 

There is a reason she surrounds herself with thirsty men. She isn't Mother Theresa.

 

 

 

I would not view her as relationship material. Any man who does, makes this mistake at his own peril.

 

You talk like you know the girl. All you have heard so far is OPs interpretation of what happened.

[OatsAndHall]

If I were in you shoes, I would take a step back and look at the whole situation objectively. I wouldn't try to analyze why she was behaving the way she was and just focus on the behaviors themselves and see if this is really what you want from a woman.

 

Red Flag 1: Posting a ton a Facebook pics of the two of you after only knowing each other for a short while. That strikes me as odd behavior from a 30 year old woman and more like something I'd see out of a teenager. It seems like attention seeking behavior. But, I really hold my privacy dear when it comes to social media and don't like my face plastered all over it.

 

Red Flag 2: The friends... I honestly wouldn't be dating a woman who kept company with a social group that partied hard and hooked up with random guys. There is something that pulls her towards that social scene and I wouldn't be comfortable with it. She's entitled to do whatever she wants but I could just see myself on edge every time she had a "girl's night out".

 

Red Flag 3: Sending you pics of herself in a "clubbing outfit" and talking about the other men that were joining them. She may be playing games or she might just be clueless but it wouldn't matter to me; the behavior isn't acceptable to me.

 

So, all and all, I would have told her to have a good time (simply because I would want to enjoy my night without drama), turned off the phone, played video games and dumped her the next morning. Some women would call me a jealous a-- but I don't really care. At the heart of it, this is just a woman that doesn't fit the mold of what I am looking for in a relationship.

[stillafool]

 

Oh, and 30 is the new 20. Don't forget.

 

 

So this means if you are 20 you are now a 10 year old?

[phineas]

Back in the day, I had friends who liked to go out to bars and hook up with men. That wasn't my scene. Yes I went with them. Yes I chatted with a few guys. NO, I didn't take any home with them because I HAVE SELF DISCIPLINE. I do nothing I do not want to do. Period. Fin. Guess what? A lot of young women are the exact same way.

 

If you can't understand self discipline, then you're lost.

 

There is NOTHING in OP's post where he says that his girlfriend is easily led and will do whatever her girlfriends do. All I'm reading is an insecure guy whose panties are in a wad over a chick he hasn't known a month. She's not even his girlfriend and he has no claim on her in any way, shape or form.

 

And so what if they're younger than her? Are we in freaking kindergarten here? Or worse--junior high school?

 

There is nothing in opie's posts that state she is actually his GF.

 

Personally for me if a woman who hasn't asked to be exclusive is going out when i'm around i really don't care.

she isn't my GF.

 

however i really do not want to hear details about her low quality friends night out.

As was said i'm pretty sure no woman i'm seeing wants to hear about me accompanying my buddies on a booze and drug fueled mission of slaying.

even if i'm the designated driver.

[guest569]

Yeah the posting of couple photos of you two on Facebook is interesting too. More attn seeking and maybe trying to make other guys or exes jealous ?

[JEG88]

You're investing way too much emotional energy into a girl you've known for a few weeks from a dating site.

 

You should be going out on other dates too. You're not exclusive, and it's obvious she thinks the same.