i love my ex gf. why play these games?

[HiCrunchy]

Thank you for your haste response. Unfortunately, I can't switch gyms. There is something specific in that gym that I cant get anywhere else.

 

Is that thing worth your sanity? It would be easier for you to heal will getting away from her for a little while. This means getting off her social media as well, if you don't wanna block, unfollowing works well. Deleting her number too etc.

 

If you completely get over her, you can return to that gym but I think people like to hold on to bits of the ex (social media, trying to get back their stuff that they know deep down isn't worth much, staying in the same gym) because as you said you still love her.

 

You don't have to put up with her games if you don't want to. But you have to make the choice.

Edited October 21, 2017 by HiCrunchy

[Art Vandelay]

Thank you for your haste response. Unfortunately, I can't switch gyms. There is something specific in that gym that I cant get anywhere else.

 

There is no piece of equipment in any gym more important than your well being. Not even close.

[Blanco]

How many more threads do you plan to start on this basically covering the same thing?

[crazyguy123]

So long story short...

 

I met her at the gym. (so yes, we do see each other on a weekly basis) We didn't date for very long. She broke up with me 5 months ago and right after that, she played a lot of mind games. Other people noticed it too. It was quite obvious.

 

Anyways, I started to talk to this girl, who is strictly a friend. My ex would give her the dirty looks and stare at her. She would make my friend feel very uncomfortable coming to the gym. Somedays, she would even have a mean attitude.

 

I ended up blocking her on all social media. Continuing on, the next time I see her after the block, she has the worst attitude I have ever seen. Absolutely negative and attention seeking.

 

Last friday in the gym, I partnered with one of her closest guy friends. He said a lot of good things about me and such.

 

Continuing on with the story to this Tuesday, she started to tease me that I was a bad partner for her friend in class. In addition, she threw a playful kick at me. I returned back with a tease of my own.

 

Last night, I saw her at the gym again as I walked by her and she would stare. Her gym bag was next to mine and as I was going for my gym bag, she made small talk and I left it at that.

 

I saw her again this morning, as she was walking by me, she made small talk and heard about a muscle competition I was going to do. I told her not to come. Then she walked back my way, and I told her "because I don't want her to take topless photos of me anymore". Just as a tease. Then, she smacks my arm and walks away and says "one day you'll grow up"

 

Just so you know, she stares at me a lot!

 

Give me your thoughts????

 

Why is she talking to me again??

[Scarlett.O'hara]

The simple answer is that is difficult to ignore someone who you see all the time, especially when you have some history together. Also, it sounds like you are an active participant in all the games and drama.

 

The whole situation could easily be avoided by changing gym, then you would never have to associate with one another again. However, something tells me you wouldn't even if you could, so you must be getting something out of it.

 

Maybe you both just enjoy the attention, or perhaps there is still some unfinished business?

[basil67]

Perhaps you can't change gyms because you have a membership. What about changing days/times so that you can avoid her?

 

Staying away from her would be your best option.

[alterest]

You can be very polite and say that you have done with her and have nothing to talk to her. If she complain or try to small talk to you, just says the same thing you said once. I understand why you keep going to the same gym, but you don't have to talk to her anyway.

[Gr8fuln2020]

She's communicating with you b/c she likes to play mind games. She likes to manipulate you (and/or others) and you're playing along. People like her are at their most active when their target of interest doesn't given them the attention they want. They find it more of a challenge and up their game or continue the games until they let go on their own terms.

 

 

She mentioned that 'one day you'll grow up.' Was that a slight regarding your past behavior?

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

 

Why is she talking to me again??

 

Because you are flirting with her?

[crazyguy123]

She's communicating with you b/c she likes to play mind games. She likes to manipulate you (and/or others) and you're playing along. People like her are at their most active when their target of interest doesn't given them the attention they want. They find it more of a challenge and up their game or continue the games until they let go on their own terms.

 

 

She mentioned that 'one day you'll grow up.' Was that a slight regarding your past behavior?

 

Honestly, I simply kept my space and remained no contact. I would only walk when she would initiate. Other than that, that’s about it.

[crazyguy123]

You can be very polite and say that you have done with her and have nothing to talk to her. If she complain or try to small talk to you, just says the same thing you said once. I understand why you keep going to the same gym, but you don't have to talk to her anyway.

 

I try my best to distance myself from her. Just curious as to why she is talking to me bow.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I try my best to distance myself from her. Just curious as to why she is talking to me bow.

 

Because there is still sexual tension going both ways. This is not rocket science lol!

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I try my best to distance myself from her. Just curious as to why she is talking to me bow.

 

I somehow doubt that. You flirted by telling her not to take topless pics of you. Did you wink when you said that, too?

 

You also seem to know for a fact she stares are you. How do you know unless you're also looking at her?

 

What do you mean about the guy you partnered up with saying good things about you? To whom? And how does that fit in with the story?

[lolablue17]

She has this huge playground in which she lives in. Her reality contains many mind games, manipulations, lies, show offs, intrigues, and a lot of hanky panky.

 

Now, it seems that it doesn't work for her with you. She can't control you the way she wants. So she tries harder with the tools she knows. The more you don't buy her BS, the more she is frustrated with it. Just ignore, she will stop after she's left with no more tricks to perform.

[crazyguy123]

I somehow doubt that. You flirted by telling her not to take topless pics of you. Did you wink when you said that, too?

 

You also seem to know for a fact she stares are you. How do you know unless you're also looking at her?

 

What do you mean about the guy you partnered up with saying good things about you? To whom? And how does that fit in with the story?

 

I only talk to her when she talks. Other than that, that’s about it. Yes I notice her staring at the corner of my eye.

 

The guy who said good things about me is her close guy friend.

[crazyguy123]

She has this huge playground in which she lives in. Her reality contains many mind games, manipulations, lies, show offs, intrigues, and a lot of hanky panky.

 

Now, it seems that it doesn't work for her with you. She can't control you the way she wants. So she tries harder with the tools she knows. The more you don't buy her BS, the more she is frustrated with it. Just ignore, she will stop after she's left with no more tricks to perform.

 

She’s been talking to me lately. Is that her part of her mind game?

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I only talk to her when she talks. Other than that, that’s about it. Yes I notice her staring at the corner of my eye.

 

The guy who said good things about me is her close guy friend.

 

I'm not sure what your question is. It seems like she's talking to you again because she's still interested on some level. Are you disagreeing with this?

[crazyguy123]

I'm not sure what your question is. It seems like she's talking to you again because she's still interested on some level. Are you disagreeing with this?

 

Well I’m just curious as to why she is talking to me and all that. Is she interested in getting back together? You know?

[Marc878]

There's a thing called self respect. She dumped you played games and now is feeding you some breadcrumbs.

 

And you want that back because?

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Well I’m just curious as to why she is talking to me and all that. Is she interested in getting back together? You know?

 

If you want that, then just ask her.

[marky00]

If you want that, then just ask her.

 

Hmmm. NO. Do not ask her.

 

 

If she really wants to be with you, at some point her advances will be more healthy in their nature. Let the dust settle and let the games settle down.

 

 

Definitely stop reacting to these games, because your actions are also enabling them. She is throwing her A game at you because you have continued to remain stoic. Just stay strong and only ever react to healthy types of advances (otherwise ignore).

 

 

But to be honest, for her to have played games this long, she has a lot of self-work to do so even if she does start approaching you in more healthy ways, sounds like she has a lot of work ahead of her.

[crazyguy123]

Hmmm. NO. Do not ask her.

 

 

If she really wants to be with you, at some point her advances will be more healthy in their nature. Let the dust settle and let the games settle down.

 

 

Definitely stop reacting to these games, because your actions are also enabling them. She is throwing her A game at you because you have continued to remain stoic. Just stay strong and only ever react to healthy types of advances (otherwise ignore).

 

For the most part, I do ignore. I only talk to her when she talks to me. Other than that, that’s it. Is there something else I should be doing?

[Marc878]

IMO stop the engagement.

 

Speak and go on your way

[crazyguy123]

IMO stop the engagement.

 

Speak and go on your way

 

I don't initiate contact. She does.

[marky00]

doesn't matter if she is initiating.

 

 

u got to start reading between the lines. We have people on here that are dumped and 2 days prior the dumper was talking about marriage etc.

 

 

anyone can act and say things that don't line up with the true feelings that lie beneath.

 

 

your going to have to step a way for a while and after a while you will start to work out what is behind the actions and you will probably realise its not for reasons that are good for you.

 

 

Play it smart for a while and try to go at times when she less likely to be there. You need some time to yourself so you can see things with more clarity.