Author Nadine123 Posted October 18, 2017 Author Share Posted October 18, 2017 let me explain a bit further. I had a one night stand and we had a great time (we did it three times). He asked if he can sleep over (his room was right next to me so he could have easily left) and in the morning he invited me to go with him on a day trip but i said no. he left the country but since then he dint msg me. for the last month all he does is comment and like my things on social media literally 3 secs after i post something. yesterday i poste 3 pictures and he liked them all in different timings. he came back to my city 10 days ago for 1 day but didnt contact me. Usually guys will just dissapear and not give all this attention on social media or anything else. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 Nadine123 I'm confused. You asked about women ghosting but you described low contact by a guy after sex. He more or less ghosted you. If he wanted something more I would think he'd reach out through something other than likes after he returned. Why was the onus on you, since he was the one who was leaving? Link to post Share on other sites
Myasylum Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 As they say, actions speak louder then words. Social Media to me is just that, words. All that stuff just depends on the person. I'm a guy and would hate a one night stand. I have friends however that could care less. Depends on the person. Personally, I'd always follow up since I'm not one to hurt anyones feelings, and if they don't care... so be it, but I did my part. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadine123 Posted October 18, 2017 Author Share Posted October 18, 2017 I didnt contact him either. the question was on him because im curious about how he feels. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 If you want to know, you have to contact him. If he doesn't respond you know he was only down for that one night. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadine123 Posted October 18, 2017 Author Share Posted October 18, 2017 but doesnt all this attention on social media mean nothing? orry im a bit young so im still learning. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 The social media attention can't be deciphered. If you are young & learning, learn this: Be clear & direct in your own communications. It solves or prevents many problems. If you want to know what is going on with him, talk to him. Stop trying to decipher some hidden meaning from the fact that he clicked a button on a mouse. From where I sit the fact that he hasn't reached out shows lack of interest. It was a one off thing for him & he doesn't care about you as a person. Since that is an assumption, if you want the real truth you need to ask him. He could be shy, uncertain or socially clueless & he's waiting for you to make the 1st move. Whether he says yes or no, if you talk to him, you will get an answer. To my way of thinking that is better than sitting here wringing your hands trying to figure out what his behavior means. Link to post Share on other sites
rightondude Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 attention on social media takes 0 effort whatsoever. Ooh I "liked" this pic, guess she'll now know I like her. And am thinking about her. Or, "geez I don't feel like talking to her. Maybe I'll just "like" this pic and that'll do." Which is it? Who knows? Link to post Share on other sites
kassy Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 I don't think it necessarily means nothing, I just doesn't tell you anything one way or another. Is he coming back to where you live to also live there or does he usually live in another town/country? If he doesn't live in the same place them don't worry about it and just move on. If he lives in the same place as you then send him a message. See if he replies and take it from there. If he does and you want more than just sex make sure you next meet up for a date. How old are you? How old is he? I find it's nice to send a message after a date or hook up if you had fun. If you want to see them again say something like "hi James, was a great time tonight, thanks for dinner (or whatever you did). Would be great to meet up again, we should go see/do (something you discussed on your date like a movie or a restaurant or a park or something) sometime if you are up for it. If you don't want to see them again, a text that says Hi James, lovely to meet you tonight. Thanks for dinner and your company. I unfortunately didn't feel there was any chemistry, but wish you the best with your dating and adventures. I mean obviously change them to sound like you and also to fit the guy and date. I find that their reply to the first one lets you know if they are interested or not. And the second one lets them know you had fun but aren't. In my opinion it makes it much easier to know where you stand and also communicate that to them. If they aren't interested, it's much easier to find out right away rather than waiting. And I know some people will disagree and have different approaches. But for me this makes things less anxious. Best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 I should have read this thread before replying to your other one. When you said he was in the room next door, I thought dorm room or maybe apartment, not hotel. You were a holiday fling, nothing more. Him liking your stuff on social media but not doing anything else is a sign of keeping you on the back burner. Because you are gobbling it up & thinking it means something, if he comes back again AND Contacts you (I realize he was already back once without a word to you) you will sleep with him. That is all he wants. A warm, willing body while he's in town. Especially after sex, messaging a man 1-2x afterwards makes you direct, not clingy. Reaching out more then twice without a response headed to can't take no for an answer. Messaging in the double digits without a response, stage 5 cling-on but once or twice is just fine. You didn't even have to say much; a simple thanks I had fun would have been OK. This was particularly key here because you declined his offer to spend the next day together. He may have thought you were uninterested or that you only wanted a ONS with him. How was he supposed to know that you were playing coy & wanted to be chased? The advice I gave you in the other thread remains: be clear in your own communications. You are the one playing the read my mind, I want you to chase me game. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 he came back to my city 10 days ago for 1 day but didnt contact me. Usually guys will just dissapear and not give all this attention on social media or anything else. So you do this regularly? My guess is that he is either interested in going again or feels like he is being polite. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 let me explain a bit further. I had a one night stand and we had a great time (we did it three times). He asked if he can sleep over (his room was right next to me so he could have easily left) and in the morning he invited me to go with him on a day trip but i said no. he left the country but since then he dint msg me. for the last month all he does is comment and like my things on social media literally 3 secs after i post something. yesterday i poste 3 pictures and he liked them all in different timings. he came back to my city 10 days ago for 1 day but didnt contact me. Usually guys will just dissapear and not give all this attention on social media or anything else. You are just a fond vacation memory. He's going to keep it there and not invest further. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 but doesnt all this attention on social media mean nothing? orry im a bit young so im still learning. No. It just means he likes something about what you posted. Social media is the hub of all things fake and superficial. Yes, there are some truths that percolate to the surface, but by and large, it's a lot of fronting. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 One of two things.....keeping you on the back burner list, just in case he wants to get laid again, OR he wants to contact you but is worried about being rejected so he just shows himself as still around, and leaving it up to you to contact him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadine123 Posted October 19, 2017 Author Share Posted October 19, 2017 Thank you for all your advice. As I said before I am young so im still learning and I really appreciate all your help. He just liked my new picture on facebook and then he like the exact same picture a couple of hours later on instagram so im guessing that means something. what do you think i should msg him? Link to post Share on other sites
TheWoman Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 He's keeping you warm. It's bread crumbs, costs nothing, might pay off later. Men who are really interested... it is obvious. I think since you are emotionally invested, it would be better for you to cut him off. If you didn't care, do the same back, likes and nothing more. But sounds like you do, so protect yourself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 Yes. I think you should message him. He is the only person who can give you answers. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
olivetree Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 He had fun with you for one night while he was in town. He extended his stay for a week and STILL didn't bother to continue hooking up with you for his remaining time there (correct me if I have my timeline wrong). Forget him liking your pics. It's like the most minimal effort thing in the world to do. He might like everyone's pics on his friend's list, who knows. If he were remotely interested in getting to know you better, he would have messaged you by now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 . He just liked my new picture on facebook and then he like the exact same picture a couple of hours later on instagram so im guessing that means something. Sure it means something - like if it was convenient he would have sex with you again. Look - do you really want a "relationship" with a guy who can't bother to send you a message? Can't be bothered to show his interest, can't be bothered with making you feel special and show you how he cares about you? Clicking like on a picture means NOTHING. It's beyond easy to do. It takes no effort - but like others said, maybe it will keep you sweet enough to have sex with him again. You are wasting too much time and emotion on this. I am not a gambler but I would be willing to wager a large bet that he isn't thinking about you, nearly as much as you are thinking about him. You are clinging to the smallest gesture and hoping it "means something" when it doesn't. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 Usually guys just dissapear if it''s a one night stand, but the constant attention without msging is a bit strange. As i said i posted 3 different things today and he commented on them within seconds. He's doing it to keep you in his orbit, so he can hit you up for sex again. Ask any guy, and they will tell you that they keep several women around for sex when they are single or hitting a dry spell. I'm sorry. Something that's really essential for women to learn is that men and women view sex differently. Men are capable of having sex apart from emotions. Women rarely are. It's just something most women have to learn the hard way. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 but doesnt all this attention on social media mean nothing? orry im a bit young so im still learning. It takes no effort to "like" something, though. He just clicks a button. Or writes a comment, which takes all of 10 seconds. Done. What matters here is that he is not making any real effort to communicate with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadine123 Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 I just found out that he came back twice to my city and didnt contact me so i get the point by now. Its okay guys I guess I have noone to blame but myself but i really thought hes a good guy from our week together. you live and you learn Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 I just found out that he came back twice to my city and didnt contact me so i get the point by now. Its okay guys I guess I have noone to blame but myself but i really thought hes a good guy from our week together. you live and you learn It's better that you discovered this, because now you can really move past him. I understand why you're bummed. It stings. But it's also important not to get too caught up in short flings with someone who is virtually a stranger. The lust of a few days just isn't enough to determine who a person really is and whether their interest is strong. Tuck this one away in your Fond Memory File and keep truckin' 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lobouspo Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 As a man, anyone who hops in bed with me on the first date is not relationship material. I just wouldn't be able to trust someone like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadine123 Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 As a man, anyone who hops in bed with me on the first date is not relationship material. I just wouldn't be able to trust someone like that. thats alright, because most woman wont want to be with someone who thinks like that either 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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