I miss her more and more everyday

[Throwawayaccount12]

I know your hurt. And you want to tell her all these things that your thinking but let me tell you something: the more you beg,ask to talk to her,media stalk her the more you push her away. You being silent will do more for you then begging.

You want to say something for her or you have something on your mind write it down in a notebook but don't send it to her.

 

I've already done this and it's pushed her away and into the arms of someone else. I don't think she's ever gonna come back.

[Redhead14]

She's with a rebound now and has been 9 days after leaving me -- Don't for one minute think that she wasn't messing around with this guy while you two were together. That thought should piss you off and help you realize you haven't lost anything.

 

Yes, you block/delete/ignore on every available communication venue possible. You call your buddies and you go out and have a friggin good time!

 

I can't help thinking that things might change in future. -- Sure, her new guy might not work out the way she'd hoped it would and she'll come running back to you and then you can have his sloppy seconds. Sorry to be blunt, but I want to paint a picture for you that will turn you off of her.

 

Things wouldn't have to change, she would and that's not likely. She'll go back to you and settle for a while until she finds another one who sparks her fancy. If she's got GIGS, she'll try the grass in a bunch of yards.

[Throwawayaccount12]

I've heard from a lot of people and its being plastered all over the net that 'ex's do come back eventually'. Is this true?

 

My ex of almost 4 months is in a rebound and has been 9 days after she left me. We were together for 1.5 years.

 

Do rebounds last? I know I can't do anything about it, and I'm not. I tried before because I was hurt and wanted to fix everything, but everytime I tried, I pushed her into the arms of the rebound.

 

I think the longer I stay away to heal for myself, it'll remove the chance of the rebound using me to strength the relationship with my ex. Example: the rebound would, and still does, posts things about my ex online. The privacy settings would constantly go from private to public, and I go from being blocked by the rebound to unblocked. Each time this has happened, something has been posted online for me to check and get hurt, react angrily, and push my ex away into the rebound's arms.

 

I tried to tell my ex what was happening, but she didnt believe me (even though ive never lied to her), and I was doing what the rebound wanted. Last time I checked was a few weeks ago where I saw the rebound posted online my ex's sext texts without consent, with my ex's face identifiable. So I would see, get hurt, react, etc. This time, I didnt react the way the rebound wanted to. I screenshot everything as evidence, just in case. I didnt tell my ex. I told my friends because I was hurt, but they all convinced me to not say anything because its not my job to protect her anymore. She left me. I didnt leave her.

 

Yet, I still want to be with her. The thoughts fluctuate. One day I'll hate her, the next I'll miss her. It's been almost 1 month NC, and I'm trying hard to not break it. I managed to break it before this time. I lasted 32 days but I broke it because it was my birthday and I missed her more than anything.

 

 

I dont know if the rebound and my ex are compatible. There are competing values and morals in terms of drugs, crime etc. I don't try to find out about anything anymore cause it hurts and im tired of hurting myself.

 

 

But I still think about her coming back and admitting she made a mistake and wants to fix things. I know I shouldnt be thinking these things, but its hard.

 

It might not seem like im making progress, but i am. I used to break NC almost every day. I used to try to see her a lot, too. But I havent done any of these things for a month and dont plan on breaking it, although its getting harder because I miss her terribly.

 

 

People say if she wants to talk to me, she will. I'm trying my best to remind myself of that, but considering she unblocked me randomly and then reblocked me a few days after, I just feel lost still.

 

 

I try to avoid going out in certain places in case I run into her. I'm trying my best to not undo my progress and to be emotionally okay for my studies.

 

But I still want the rebound relationship to **** up and want her to come back. I know I cant make her want to come back etc, and I'm not. Sigh idk why im writing this, perhaps its to vent. It's been a bit of a rollercoaster since bumping into her randomly when I tried so hard to not see her and then seeing she unblocked me (getting slightly hopeful of possible reconciliation in future), and then having her reblock me and getting crushed again. My friend checked the rebounds twitter, and its now back on private. Shocker.... (sarcasm)

 

She was my best friend, more than anything. And it still feels like im mourning 3 people. My best friend, my girlfriend, and me.

 

 

I dont care how rude this sounds of me, but i want the rebound to **** up. I dont want her to get hurt, but i dont want her to be with this douche bag, either. I do want her to come back. I wouldnt take her back right away, but it would be nice if she fought for me because I spent 2-3 months trying to fight for her (before I knew she was already ****ing and seeing someone else... I'm an idiot).

 

I know shes tired of me. I understand that now. Who wouldnt be after a rough patch of 6 months? I know I tried my best. I understood why she wanted to leave. I was okay-ish with it. But it wasnt okay that she had an orbiter sniffing around while she was with me. Now shes with that douche.

 

 

Sigh.

[Goodguy05]

I've heard from a lot of people and its being plastered all over the net that 'ex's do come back eventually'. Is this true?

 

My ex of almost 4 months is in a rebound and has been 9 days after she left me. We were together for 1.5 years.

 

Do rebounds last? I know I can't do anything about it, and I'm not. I tried before because I was hurt and wanted to fix everything, but everytime I tried, I pushed her into the arms of the rebound.

 

I think the longer I stay away to heal for myself, it'll remove the chance of the rebound using me to strength the relationship with my ex. Example: the rebound would, and still does, posts things about my ex online. The privacy settings would constantly go from private to public, and I go from being blocked by the rebound to unblocked. Each time this has happened, something has been posted online for me to check and get hurt, react angrily, and push my ex away into the rebound's arms.

 

I tried to tell my ex what was happening, but she didnt believe me (even though ive never lied to her), and I was doing what the rebound wanted. Last time I checked was a few weeks ago where I saw the rebound posted online my ex's sext texts without consent, with my ex's face identifiable. So I would see, get hurt, react, etc. This time, I didnt react the way the rebound wanted to. I screenshot everything as evidence, just in case. I didnt tell my ex. I told my friends because I was hurt, but they all convinced me to not say anything because its not my job to protect her anymore. She left me. I didnt leave her.

 

Yet, I still want to be with her. The thoughts fluctuate. One day I'll hate her, the next I'll miss her. It's been almost 1 month NC, and I'm trying hard to not break it. I managed to break it before this time. I lasted 32 days but I broke it because it was my birthday and I missed her more than anything.

 

 

I dont know if the rebound and my ex are compatible. There are competing values and morals in terms of drugs, crime etc. I don't try to find out about anything anymore cause it hurts and im tired of hurting myself.

 

 

But I still think about her coming back and admitting she made a mistake and wants to fix things. I know I shouldnt be thinking these things, but its hard.

 

It might not seem like im making progress, but i am. I used to break NC almost every day. I used to try to see her a lot, too. But I havent done any of these things for a month and dont plan on breaking it, although its getting harder because I miss her terribly.

 

 

People say if she wants to talk to me, she will. I'm trying my best to remind myself of that, but considering she unblocked me randomly and then reblocked me a few days after, I just feel lost still.

 

 

I try to avoid going out in certain places in case I run into her. I'm trying my best to not undo my progress and to be emotionally okay for my studies.

 

But I still want the rebound relationship to **** up and want her to come back. I know I cant make her want to come back etc, and I'm not. Sigh idk why im writing this, perhaps its to vent. It's been a bit of a rollercoaster since bumping into her randomly when I tried so hard to not see her and then seeing she unblocked me (getting slightly hopeful of possible reconciliation in future), and then having her reblock me and getting crushed again. My friend checked the rebounds twitter, and its now back on private. Shocker.... (sarcasm)

 

She was my best friend, more than anything. And it still feels like im mourning 3 people. My best friend, my girlfriend, and me.

 

 

I dont care how rude this sounds of me, but i want the rebound to **** up. I dont want her to get hurt, but i dont want her to be with this douche bag, either. I do want her to come back. I wouldnt take her back right away, but it would be nice if she fought for me because I spent 2-3 months trying to fight for her (before I knew she was already ****ing and seeing someone else... I'm an idiot).

 

I know shes tired of me. I understand that now. Who wouldnt be after a rough patch of 6 months? I know I tried my best. I understood why she wanted to leave. I was okay-ish with it. But it wasnt okay that she had an orbiter sniffing around while she was with me. Now shes with that douche.

 

 

Sigh.

 

 

Why not payback time send ur ex the photos of what he did there's always consequences to people's actions so if he's being immature i say send it to her hurt both of 2m at this stage it's not about even getting her back she crushed u and so he's he pull out ur artillery and fire back I would definatly

[basil67]

Change all your settings so that you don't see either of them online. She's not coming back, so you're best to start on the path to healing.

[ExpatInItaly]

I'm sorry for your pain, OP. She isn't rebounding; she left you for someone else. That's a different ball of wax. A rebound is usually what dumpees engage in when they're mourning their broken relationship and trying to fill the void an ex left behind. This doesn't mean her new relationship will last, of course, but the reasons she entered it are very different from those of a rebounder.

 

Sadly, it's not true that all exes come back. I myself have ended relationships and never gone back. I had thought about it, realized there was no future, and ended it. In my experience (observing friends and family), exes who do come back often don't stay back. I have to admit I've seen very few truly successful reconciliations.

 

I would just delete her/him off your social media altogether so that you don't waste any more time wondering what their behaviour means. It's not helping you to move forward. Do it for you.

[Been]

They always show back up at the time you least expect it. And usually it doesn't work out.

More then likely this will not workout for her and that's when you'll end up seeing or hearing from her.

NINE DAYS. Less then two weeks to replace you is all it took her to jump into a relationship with someone else. Keep that in mind when she comes knocking.

[Popsicle]

Mine do not.

[Reddice]

I've had several relationships and none of them ever came back.Closest I got to a reconciliation were the traditional breadcrumbs.

 

But with regards to your story, please stop following up on her and her new bf on facebook. The NC guidelines apply to facebook as well. And as you can see for yourself, it's not giving you any peace of mind.

 

I agree with your friends that you should NOT confront her with anything you see on facebook. She might very well know what her current bf is up to, you have no way of knowing that. Confronting her with this information will completely backfire, that's a guarantuee. You will be labeled as the stalker ex that just can't take no for an answer. She will not only lose respect for you, but common friends will also loose respect for you. Imagine walking down the streets and hearing girls say to eachother "Ieeewww, that's ...X...'s stalker. He's so creepy." Because that's what you will get if you don't withdraw 100%.

[Protec]

Some ex's come back, some won't. Usually not. So don't wait for a comeback. Live on. If she comes back she will but DON'T WAIT.

 

You deserve a happy relationship. She left you. Don't forget it.

[Throwawayaccount12]

I'm sorry for your pain, OP. She isn't rebounding; she left you for someone else. That's a different ball of wax. A rebound is usually what dumpees engage in when they're mourning their broken relationship and trying to fill the void an ex left behind. This doesn't mean her new relationship will last, of course, but the reasons she entered it are very different from those of a rebounder.

 

Sadly, it's not true that all exes come back. I myself have ended relationships and never gone back. I had thought about it, realized there was no future, and ended it. In my experience (observing friends and family), exes who do come back often don't stay back. I have to admit I've seen very few truly successful reconciliations.

 

I would just delete her/him off your social media altogether so that you don't waste any more time wondering what their behaviour means. It's not helping you to move forward. Do it for you.

 

 

Sigh. I can tell their values are incompatible from what I've seen a few weeks ago. I think it's the excitement about having sex with someone new and being more sexually attracted to them. Idk. It hurts a lot either way.

 

I've removed everything but I'm not sure if I should block in case of reconciliation.

[Throwawayaccount12]

And although I'm doing my best to focus on myself, I still want her back. If I knew the last time she kissed me was going to be the last time, I never would've stopped. I don't even remember the last time she kissed me.

 

I want her to reach out to me and say it was all a mistake... that she still loves me and wants to be with me, but I doubt it'll ever happen. And it pains me to think that. I'm not even worth a breadcrumb, but perhaps that's a good thing. My worth isn't linked to whether someone talks to me or not.

 

It's been over a month nc. I don't intend on reaching out first. I sent a 2,000 word email saying I'm done trying to fight for her when she just invalidates me and screams at me, anyway. It just scares me to death that this nc might be forever... I don't know how I'm supposed to not say anything forever.. to be okay with her becoming a stranger again, forever.

 

 

Sigh. I miss her so much. More than she knows or cares.

 

I hate that I think about her, miss her, want her, and love her when she probably thinks and feels none of these things. It makes me feel like an idiot. That I'm not good enough when I really tried my best with the ****ty cards I was dealt with.

 

Had she only just left me, I'd feel indifferent. But she left me and jumped onto an orbiter less than 2 weeks later and told me she has feelings for them 3 weeks after leaving me. She told me when I was at my cousins house because she took me away out of fear I would seriously hurt myself.

 

Sigh.

[nothingsintheflowerz]

A 2,000 word email sounds a bit obsessive (I'm glad you're doing NC). Keep doing it for at least a couple more months, or, ideally, until you get over her. I know it's hard, but there will be a day that, maybe you don't stop missing her, but that part of you gets smaller, and you're able to hold those memories in your heart without allowing them to control your life.

[Throwawayaccount12]

A 2,000 word email sounds a bit obsessive (I'm glad you're doing NC). Keep doing it for at least a couple more months, or, ideally, until you get over her. I know it's hard, but there will be a day that, maybe you don't stop missing her, but that part of you gets smaller, and you're able to hold those memories in your heart without allowing them to control your life.

 

It was so long because there was a lot of things I wanted to say for 2-3 months and she screamed at me every time I tried to let it out. It was always about her. Like I was competing with her in terms of who's allowed to feel more hurt. Who's allowed to talk, etc. I had enough, said what I needed to say, left the door open to her, and started to walk away for myself.

 

I'm trying my best to keep nc for at least 6 months, but she's the one that has to reach out for me to break it. It hurts knowing deep down that she might never reach out even though I want her to.

[nothingsintheflowerz]

Oh, okay, that makes sense. I'm assuming you didn't get a reply?

 

Yes, I've been there too, and the truth is, they probably never will break NC. And if they do, it most likely will be for a self-serving purpose. The point of NC, though, is to give yourself the self-care and space to heal and move on. If NC is successful, which it will be as long as you commit to it, there will be a point in which you remain indifferent to the prospect of her contacting you at all.

[bummer]

But she left me and jumped onto an orbiter less than 2 weeks later and told me she has feelings for them 3 weeks after leaving me.

 

You honestly want this troll to contact you again after jumping ship and climbing aboard with someone new IN TWO WEEKS??

 

WHY? She sounds awful. You need to remind yourself when the warm fuzzy memories rush in and the pangs of loneliness well up inside you that this troll was happy enough to run to someone else in a blink of the eye!

 

She doesn't love you, doesn't want you, and if she does contact you it's to jiggle the hook and make sure you're still on her fishing line. She left you for someone else. Let her eat her cake alone.

[Throwawayaccount12]

Oh, okay, that makes sense. I'm assuming you didn't get a reply?

 

Yes, I've been there too, and the truth is, they probably never will break NC. And if they do, it most likely will be for a self-serving purpose. The point of NC, though, is to give yourself the self-care and space to heal and move on. If NC is successful, which it will be as long as you commit to it, there will be a point in which you remain indifferent to the prospect of her contacting you at all.

 

No, I didn't. I still wonder if I'll ever get one. I had to send her a message a few days after though, telling her to get her new rebound to leave me alone and stop getting their friends to harass me. My ex later said she saw the email and didn't show anyone. I was going to ask what she thought about it, but I didn't think there was a point in asking.

 

She said angrily a few times she doesn't plan on coming back in my life after saying really angry and hurtful things after finding out about the other person so soon after her leaving me, but in my stupid head, I keep thinking that people say angry things in the moment and things change. I guess that's why I said to her in the email, "the door will always be open for you but I'm not waiting anymore - you're blocked from literally everything, but I know if you wanted to reconcile, you'd find a way to reach me". Sigh.

[Throwawayaccount12]

You honestly want this troll to contact you again after jumping ship and climbing aboard with someone new IN TWO WEEKS??

 

WHY? She sounds awful. You need to remind yourself when the warm fuzzy memories rush in and the pangs of loneliness well up inside you that this troll was happy enough to run to someone else in a blink of the eye!

 

She doesn't love you, doesn't want you, and if she does contact you it's to jiggle the hook and make sure you're still on her fishing line. She left you for someone else. Let her eat her cake alone.

 

 

Sigh. And even though I understand why she hurt me like this out of tiredness from the rough patch, even though it's not okay and never will be, I still want her because I know that she's not a terrible person. Idk. Hurts regardless.

[nothingsintheflowerz]

Sigh. And even though I understand why she hurt me like this out of tiredness from the rough patch, even though it's not okay and never will be, I still want her because I know that she's not a terrible person. Idk. Hurts regardless.

 

Your standards are incredibly low. Most people aren't "terrible people". Most people simply aren't compatible with every single person they meet in a relationship, and that should be enough to move on. She just isn't compatible with you.

[Throwawayaccount12]

Your standards are incredibly low. Most people aren't "terrible people". Most people simply aren't compatible with every single person they meet in a relationship, and that should be enough to move on. She just isn't compatible with you.

 

In what way was she not compatible? We were together for 1.5 years, so I still think on some level we are. It was my first relationship, first love, and first heartbreak, so I dont really know much. Just that I want her, lol. :/

[Throwawayaccount12]

A lot of ladies tend to treat relationships the way most of us treat jobs. They won't quit one without having another one already lined up. It's quite possible that she isn't into this new guy any more than she is you, or was for you early on anyway, but is just with him out of convenience. He was at the right place at the right time.

 

I wouldn't bother blocking her. Quite a few ladies I know have a 2nd Facebook page that they use to circumvent being blocked. If she wanted to get around you blocking her, she could. It's a waste of time.

 

I'm trying my best to look after myself, but thinking about NC for an indefinite amount of time scares me. But there's really nothing I can possibly do than leave her unblocked and focus on doing the things I want/need to do. I've only left her unblocked on Facebook. I can't be bothered unblocking her on everything. It still shocks me that she's gone, and it frustrates me all the same wanting to reconcile. Almost 4 months break up, just over 30 days NC a second time around.

 

The rebound will probably last a while, considering I was breaking nc a lot. And even though people keep telling me I deserve better, and I believe I deserve to be treated better, someone else gets to be with her - the woman I love - at the end of the day. I hate wanting something sooo bad and knowing deep down I'll probably never ever get it. The hope goes away, but comes back. Sigh.

[bummer]

I hope the day is soon when you pull your balls out of this self-imposed castration device you got.

 

You'll bounce back. Just as soon as you get under someone new.

[Blanco]

You two both sound young. You both will have plenty of more relationships and heartbreaks in the years to come. So chin up!

[Throwawayaccount12]

Your story is just another example of why I really hate orbiters, and why it is so important to date someone that knows precisely how to handle them. This dude did what he could to break you two up, and because of your GF's inability to deal with him properly, his efforts paid off. It's not his fault because guys would stop playing that game if those women would be more loyal.

 

Do exes come back? Mine always do. There is a trick to it. Instead of sitting around pining after some girl that is currently banging some other dude, move on with your life. Like, right now. Women have to respect a guy to want to be with them. When most people get dumped, they act like sad little pathetic puppies that just cannot survive without the person who just dumped them. This is what you are doing right now. Your behavior does nothing but lower your value to her. You need to be the guy that she fell for, to begin with. Even better, improve on that guy. You can't control how you feel, but you can control what you do. Move on and work on self-improvement.

 

When it comes to self-improvement, you want to make some long term efforts and some short term, easily visible changes. First thing, hit the gym. Not just a little, but a lot. Find a type of exercise that appeals to you and work at it. Whether that be weight training, running, martial arts, or a combination of those, but really work at it. It doesn't take long before you make some noticeable improvements. I also suggest to most people that they either go to college, go back to college, or at least take some classes. When I got divorced, I went back to school, and even though I was depressed over the loss of my marriage, spending some quality time with pretty young girls is a very good cure for that sort of thing. Maybe work towards a better career too. Get a raise, find a new job, whatever. Just move up.

 

My plan won't get your ex back next week. Maybe not even next month, but if anything has a chance to work, it is the advice I just gave you. Maybe a year from now, when you are in better shape, looking good, made some cool new friends, and met some new women, your ex will look in on you. They almost always do, especially with social media being a thing. You want her to like what she sees. You want her to see you out somewhere one night, take a look at you, and wonder WTF she was thinking when she let you go. Then, you can make a choice. Do you want to try again with the same girl that left you for some other dude, or do you wanna take this new girl out that you met while you were at the gym, or taking classes, or at your new job?

 

 

My ex views my friends social media stories (that I sometimes feature on), religiously.

 

My friend told me this over lunch. I knew my ex checked but my friend said it's so frequently, that anytime anything is uploaded, my ex is usually the first to check what it is. Before the breakup, it wasn't as often or frequent, but apparently afterwards it's been overwhelmingly a lot to my friend.

 

My friend told me she blocked my ex because it was annoying. I said I believe it's because she misses me and wants to see what I'm doing (aka having fun times without her). Even though my friend said she doesn't deserve to know what I'm up to, I'm hoping she sees it, sees how happy I am (for the most part) and regrets her decision.

 

Given I still would like a chance at reconciliation one day, I've blocked her off literally everything bar email and instagram (my profile is private anyway). Would it be better for my friend to reblock my ex from checking the stories, or just leave it? I don't want to tell my friend what to do with her social media, and I said that, but she said she didn't give a **** whether or not my ex checked. She just thought it was creepy.

[Throwawayaccount12]

There's not a lot of info out there, except on a definition of what it is - essentially swinging from one person to another while still in a relationship.

 

How long do these relationships last? Is it similar to a rebound in terms that 90% fail?

 

 

How do I accept I was monkey branched when it hurts like a mofo?

 

 

Do you consider monkey branching to be emotional cheating?

 

 

Dumb question but I'll ask anyway: do monkey branchers go back to the ones they left for someone else?

 

 

Just not sure what to do or think. I'm finding it difficult to move on with my life (although I am) when I've been monkey branched. I thought it was a rebound, but the person was lurking in the background while I was with my ex. Doesn't make it hurt less.