Dating much younger women

[normal person]

Won't say this is true of anyone participating in the thread, but from my experience the older guys going for younger women in that age range (25 and under) are looking for the naive and noobie types, because they(guys) don't have enough of their own shyt together and get judged by quality women their own age for it...

 

I can't see any real benefit personally...Most girls at that age are flighty, indecisive, inexperienced, don't know what they want out of life, etc...many haven't got the "party girl" out of their system yet, either....Great...That's just what every stable, mature guy needs...

 

TFY

 

I'm in total agreement with you here. There is a noticeable difference in the quality of connection a guy who's 30 is going to have with a 26 year old and a 22 year old. The younger ones are way too naive. I've been out with the younger girls, sure they're fun, but I was banging my head against the wall with them because they're still at a place in life that I've long departed and happy to be out of. I relate so much better to grown women (26+) than to the early 20s girls. With the younger girls I felt more like a guidance counselor.

 

To be perfectly honest, most of the cases I have seen where women in their early 20s specifically wanted to date men in their 30s and older all involved a lot of money. They wanted to be taken to fancy places that the men their age couldn't afford, and that was more important to them than a compatible partner. Of course there are also women who just happen to fall in love with older men, and those cases weren't all about money, but that's very different from women who are specifically seeking such an arrangement.

 

I'm sure this is often the case but let's not deny the fact that plenty of women of any age simply just don't want to be with a bum. They value success, maturity, distinction, etc and they don't want to spend their time gambling on a guy who may or may not make something of his life. They want the guarantee. It's not so much about frivolous things as it is security and certainty. I've dated plenty of girls who weren't after my money, they just like what it represented. Just because a girl appreciates a successful older guy doesn't necessarily mean she's a gold digger. In fact, there have been plenty of times where one of these girls would remind me I'm working too hard, or thinking about finances too much with a "there's more to life than money, you know." That being said, the culture here often dictates guys bust their asses until 30 or so, to a point where they can finally be considered "successful," then have their pick of the best 25-26 year olds.

Edited August 28, 2017 by normal person

[GunslingerRoland]

Why do you only like women under 25? If this was me, I'd be concerned, because it puts a time bomb on every relationship you start. Like you have to become so attached to them in the first couple of years of dating, that suddenly you'll be attracted to them even though they aren't your type. Sure that happens to some degree in every relationship. But you're banking on it more than usual.

 

Is it purely looks? Or is it personality? Are you trying to avoid women looking to settle down, or trying to avoid responsibility?

[stillafool]

Why do you only like women under 25? If this was me, I'd be concerned, because it puts a time bomb on every relationship you start. Like you have to become so attached to them in the first couple of years of dating, that suddenly you'll be attracted to them even though they aren't your type. Sure that happens to some degree in every relationship. But you're banking on it more than usual.

 

Is it purely looks? Or is it personality? Are you trying to avoid women looking to settle down, or trying to avoid responsibility?

 

More than likely.

[Els]

I'm sure this is often the case but let's not deny the fact that plenty of women of any age simply just don't want to be with a bum. They value success, maturity, distinction, etc and they don't want to spend their time gambling on a guy who may or may not make something of his life. They want the guarantee. It's not so much about frivolous things as it is security and certainty. I've dated plenty of girls who weren't after my money, they just like what it represented. Just because a girl appreciates a successful older guy doesn't necessarily mean she's a gold digger. In fact, there have been plenty of times where one of these girls would remind me I'm working too hard, or thinking about finances too much with a "there's more to life than money, you know." That being said, the culture here often dictates guys bust their asses until 30 or so, to a point where they can finally be considered "successful," then have their pick of the best 25-26 year olds.

 

If it was just ambition that they desired, 22 yos don't inherently lack that any more than 32 yos do. Sure there are bums, but they are distributed quite evenly among the age groups IMO.

 

No, it really is the money I think. An ambitious 22 yo is likely either still in university or saving really hard to pay off his student loans or kickstart his career. He is unlikely to have much money yet. Whereas an ambitious 32 yo would likely have accumulated a decent amount of wealth and can take her to places that the 22 yo cannot.

 

When I was in college, a few of the girls I knew were dating significantly older men. They boasted a lot about the 5-star hotels, the fine dining, the expensive holidays, the cruises. I didn't particularly care, but I did feel a bit sad that that was all that seemed to matter to them. I haven't kept in touch with any of them, so I'm not sure if they're still with those guys.

 

As I said, that doesn't necessarily mean that all women dating older men are after money. Some people really just fall in love. I mentioned that I am talking about women in their 20s who specifically and only want to date much older men.

 

O'Malley did bring up quite a good point about readiness for marriage/kids. That could be a potential factor, though I doubt that's what the OP is after at the moment either, and those girls will figure that out and move on real quick probably.

[lucy_in_disguise]

If you are in your early thirties, you must be around plenty of women who are hot and in shape and closer to your age. Assuming one takes good care of oneself, there is not a significant dip in attractiveness between 22 and 33, IMO. So, what is it about women under 25 that you prefer?

 

I've never been into older guys and all my boyfriends have been within a few years of my age. The biggest age difference is with my current bf, who is 5 years younger, though I didn't seek him out for that reason- we just met and hit it off.

 

But, I've observed older men trying to get with younger women at every point in my life. Perhaps it's not an opinion shared by all women, but between my friends and I, the guys trying the hardest came off as desperate and pathetic, even if they were eventually "successful" in snagging someone younger. The more obvious their preference for younger women appeared, the more off-putting it was. Most women of all ages want someone who values them for who they are- not a single aspect they have little control over (age/ youthfulness) - no one likes feeling objectified.

 

That being said, 10 years is not really a huge age gap, and I think many women would not blink twice at that age difference if it was someone they genuinely liked. Unless you are specifically seeking damaged women with daddy issues or superficial women you can "buy" with dinners and gifts, you shouldn't need identifiers to determine who to go for. Go for women you like who appear friendly to you.

 

But please play it cool and don't act like a loserly creep by hitting on everything unden25 that moves. And try to look honestly at your preferences to determine if they're helping you achieve your broader goals.

[The Urbanyst]

Won't say this is true of anyone participating in the thread, but from my experience the older guys going for younger women in that age range (25 and under) are looking for the naive and noobie types, because they(guys) don't have enough of their own shyt together and get judged by quality women their own age for it...

 

I can't see any real benefit personally...Most girls at that age are flighty, indecisive, inexperienced, don't know what they want out of life, etc...many haven't got the "party girl" out of their system yet, either....Great...That's just what every stable, mature guy needs...

 

TFY

 

Painting with a broad brush is always nice.

 

You want to know the main reasons I prefer women under 25 while being in my 30's? I'll tell you:

 

• I'm not interested in marriage anytime soon
  
• I'm not interested in kids anytime soon
  
• Younger women are generally just more physically attractive.. sorry
  

[The Urbanyst]

I recently read an article on the subject (which I can't link here because of the Ts&Cs) saying that a significant majority of guys of all ages want to date younger to much younger women. The older the guys, the younger they want their women to be.

 

The same study reported that on the whole, women preferred to date men their own age or slightly older but the older the women, the less 'fussy' they get (ie cougars).

 

So to sum up, you face fierce competition as most guys seem to be looking for exactly what you're looking for, and a very limited market.

 

True, but a lot of guys let the stigma get to them. I've talked to a lot of men who say they would not date a woman much younger than them. A lot of guys don't want to look like creeps.

 

However, I don't care about looking like a creep, I care about enjoying my life.

[The Urbanyst]

Why do you only like women under 25? If this was me, I'd be concerned, because it puts a time bomb on every relationship you start. Like you have to become so attached to them in the first couple of years of dating, that suddenly you'll be attracted to them even though they aren't your type. Sure that happens to some degree in every relationship. But you're banking on it more than usual.

 

Is it purely looks? Or is it personality? Are you trying to avoid women looking to settle down, or trying to avoid responsibility?

 

I don't only like women under 25. I'm open to anyone under 40. I have a strong preference for women under 25 and those are the women I actively seek out. But if I meet someone who is 30 or 35 and we click and there is attraction, I'm not going to turn them down lol.

[The Urbanyst]

If you are in your early thirties, you must be around plenty of women who are hot and in shape and closer to your age. Assuming one takes good care of oneself, there is not a significant dip in attractiveness between 22 and 33, IMO. So, what is it about women under 25 that you prefer?

 

I'm going to generalize here. Just a warning.

 

• Younger women have less baggage from past relationships
  
• Younger women have more attractive years ahead of them
  
• Younger women have more time to have more kids
  
• You can date a younger woman much longer without marriage and kids coming up
  
• Younger women are not competing with you
  

 

Even though there is not a big dip in physical attractiveness from 22 to 32, there is still a dip.

 

Again.. these are generalizations

[JuneL]

My cousin is happily married to an awesome women with two adorable kids. When they first met, she was in her early 20s (graduating from college) and he was in his early 30s (getting established in his career). While they were in different life stages then, nobody thought my cousin was a creepy older guy. The difference was that he never set it a goal to find a much younger girlfriend (in fact, his ex-gf's were only slightly younger). On a related note, when I was single, I was open to dating guys of different ethnic backgrounds, but would stay away from those who only targeted women of my own ethnic background (even though they were from a different ethnic background themselves); these men just looked soooo creepy to me.

[littleblackheart]

True, but a lot of guys let the stigma get to them. I've talked to a lot of men who say they would not date a woman much younger than them. A lot of guys don't want to look like creeps.

 

However, I don't care about looking like a creep, I care about enjoying my life.

 

If you want to 'date' forever, then wanting a younger woman sort of makes sense. It's bit shallow but that's your problem.

 

Men clearly gunning for younger women are also good for women looking for actual, real men who aren't afraid to deal with women their own age - it's an easy way to sort out the men from the Peter Pans.

 

I'm not really sure there's a stigma attached to men specifically going after younger women anymore; it's just a bit sad, that's all.

[Popsicle]

Early 30's dating early 20's? I truly don't see what the problem is. If they share the same values, it'll work out fine.

[Blanco]

Early 30's dating early 20's? I truly don't see what the problem is. If they share the same values, it'll work out fine.

 

But it's not just values that matter in these cases. Life experiences play a huge role, and frankly, most people in their early twenties just don't have the life experiences the average person in their thirties (or older) have, regardless of how "mature for their age" these people in their twenties are.

[Popsicle]

But it's not just values that matter in these cases. Life experiences play a huge role, and frankly, most people in their early twenties just don't have the life experiences the average person in their thirties (or older) have, regardless of how "mature for their age" these people in their twenties are.

 

Well, he probably doesn't care that she doesn't have a career yet, or just establishing one. He does care that they both don't have kids. He's more closer to her level of maturity than an older woman, so it works out.

[thefooloftheyear]

But it's not just values that matter in these cases. Life experiences play a huge role, and frankly, most people in their early twenties just don't have the life experiences the average person in their thirties (or older) have, regardless of how "mature for their age" these people in their twenties are.

 

 

Agreed....And the "problem" is that more things begin to "happen"(or at least they should) in those 10 years than probably any other decade in your life..

 

Me early 20's

 

• banging around with little real goals..
  
• working as a bouncer in clubs
  
• getting into small time trouble.
  
• broke
  
• living in a tiny/shytty apartment
  
• coming home wee hours of the night doing a lot of things not proud of
  
• bunch of loser "friends"
  

Me early 30's

 

• Operating my own successful business.
  
• Married
  
• Homeowner x 2
  
• real life goals in place.
  
• trouble long behind me, home every night for dinner.
  
• finances in order.
  
• loser's gone
  

I'd imagine that most people could make the same comparative lists...Maybe to lesser extremes, but the point is that period of one's life is a pretty much "find yourself" time...

 

 

At the end of the day, its anyone's free will to do as they please and be with whoever they desire, but to think anyone would want to go back to that previous period, and its people, means that perhaps those folks either never experienced that somewhat drastic period of growth or maturity, or there is some other issue going on...Just a thought...

 

 

TFY

[Eternal Sunshine]

I do think that most men like younger women but under 25 is a bit of a reach for a man that's 35+. They generally tend to view under 25 year olds as casual sex material. Even on OLD sites, most set lower age limit as late 20s and for quite a few it's 30.

[The Urbanyst]

If you want to 'date' forever, then wanting a younger woman sort of makes sense. It's bit shallow but that's your problem.

 

Men clearly gunning for younger women are also good for women looking for actual, real men who aren't afraid to deal with women their own age - it's an easy way to sort out the men from the Peter Pans.

 

I'm not really sure there's a stigma attached to men specifically going after younger women anymore; it's just a bit sad, that's all.

 

There is nothing "sad" about it. A lot of things are "shallow" like refusing to date men shorter than you or men of a certain race. Get used to the real world.

 

Younger women are generally more attractive. And what is a "real man" anyway?

[Blanco]

I don't think it's sad, but the younger woman-older guy dynamic usually shows what the guy values in a relationship. I know some young women in their early twenties who are quite pulled together, driven, and all that. But even then, they still usually lack a lot of the life knowledge stuff that just simply comes with age.

 

Aside from casual flings, I think younger woman-older man relationships only work well when the woman is actually more mature for her age and the guy is a bit immature for his age.

[littleblackheart]

There is nothing "sad" about it. A lot of things are "shallow" like refusing to date men shorter than you or men of a certain race. Get used to the real world.

 

Younger women are generally more attractive. And what is a "real man" anyway?

 

Look, I'm not trying to convince you; I have no vested interest in your personal preferences other than I hope that as she gets older, my daughter will have more sense than to be perpetually 'dating' older guys who have no interest in growing up.

 

Also, maybe you should get used to the real world - 'shorter' men or men of a certain race do, in their majority, find suitable partners. And younger women get older eventually, they don't stay young and attractive forever; are you looking to trade them off as they reach a certain age, all the while getting older yourself?

 

I don't know how you live your life, but very few of the people I know in real life are actually 'shallow'; after a certain age, you just move on from that to try and seek more meaningful connections with people (that's what I mean by 'real man', but I didn't mean it to make it a gender issue - I meant 'real people' in general).

[The Urbanyst]

Look, I'm not trying to convince you; I have no vested interest in your personal preferences other than I hope that as she gets older, my daughter will have more sense than to be perpetually 'dating' older guys who have no interest in growing up.

 

Also, maybe you should get used to the real world - 'shorter' men or men of a certain race do, in their majority, find suitable partners. And younger women get older eventually, they don't stay young and attractive forever; are you looking to trade them off as they reach a certain age, all the while getting older yourself?

 

I don't know how you live your life, but very few of the people I know in real life are actually 'shallow'; after a certain age, you just move on from that to try and seek more meaningful connections with people (that's what I mean by 'real man', but I didn't mean it to make it a gender issue - I meant 'real people' in general).

 

What does "growing up" even mean?

 

Also everything you said can be summed up as "People become more desperate and lower their standards as they get older". Yeah, I already know what.

 

Of course women don't stay young forever. But if I marry a 22 year old now.. she will only be 32 when I'm in my 40's.

[littleblackheart]

What does "growing up" even mean?

 

Also everything you said can be summed up as "People become more desperate and lower their standards as they get older". Yeah, I already know what.

 

Of course women don't stay young forever. But if I marry a 22 year old now.. she will only be 32 when I'm in my 40's.

 

Sure. Good luck eh...

[JuneL]

What does "growing up" even mean?

 

Also everything you said can be summed up as "People become more desperate and lower their standards as they get older". Yeah, I already know what.

 

Of course women don't stay young forever. But if I marry a 22 year old now.. she will only be 32 when I'm in my 40's.

 

I think that, practically, the way to always (even into your 80s) find much much younger girls is to get very very rich. As another poster has pointed out, you can look for girls with very expensive tastes, even though her own background cannot afford that kind of lifestyle. I'm not sure, though, if you have the financial ability to do that.

Edited August 31, 2017 by JuneL

[The Urbanyst]

I think that, practically, the way to always (even into your 80s) find much much younger girls is to get very very rich. As another poster has pointed out, you can look for girls with very expensive tastes, even though her own background cannot afford that kind of lifestyle. I'm not sure, though, if you have the financial ability to do that.

 

I agree completely.

 

This is also why I'm very focused on money and success. It has been my top priority since I graduated college. I learned a long time ago that people come and go, but things cost money forever. So its good to have as much MONEY as you can get your hands on. It just opens more doors.

[JuneL]

I agree completely.

 

This is also why I'm very focused on money and success. It has been my top priority since I graduated college. I learned a long time ago that people come and go, but things cost money forever. So its good to have as much MONEY as you can get your hands on. It just opens more doors.

 

Yeah, I'm sure there are plenty of young girls looking for a sugar daddy to support their expensive tastes and high maintenance lifestyles.

[JuneL]

What does "growing up" even mean?

 

Also everything you said can be summed up as "People become more desperate and lower their standards as they get older". Yeah, I already know what.

 

Of course women don't stay young forever. But if I marry a 22 year old now.. she will only be 32 when I'm in my 40's.

 

But why would you want to keep her until she's as old as 32? Why not just keep having a stream of 20-year-old girls if youth is so important?? I mean, assuming you are a billionaire who can afford to keep supporting a stream of young sugar girls of course.