Weird Breakup out of the blue [UPDATE: Horrible coping 6 months]

[Wobugan]

gosh i miss her, 4 months post breakup i am moving away 4 hours from her and i feel so damn terrible.

 

I miss her so damn much, please god don´t let it be that she exchanged me for someone else if thats the case all i can say is that the image i have of her is completely ruined.

 

Her ****ing name is on my grandfathers tombstone, he was his little girl.

 

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCJK

[ExpatInItaly]

gosh i miss her, 4 months post breakup i am moving away 4 hours from her and i feel so damn terrible.

 

I miss her so damn much, please god don´t let it be that she exchanged me for someone else if thats the case all i can say is that the image i have of her is completely ruined.

 

Her ****ing name is on my grandfathers tombstone, he was his little girl.

 

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCJK

 

What do you mean?

[Wobugan]

What do you mean?

 

 

Her grandfather died in cancer when she was 3 and as she was so close to my family she always saw him as her grandfather.

 

He was so much for her and she was so much for him, we gave her everything our family. We gave her so much everyone of us.

 

I introduced her to everyone in my homecountry in Croatia everyone loved her no one said anything bad.

 

She ****ing pissed it all away, she really ****ing did.

[Wobugan]

I havent heard a single beep from her it is obvious she exchanged me for someone else right?

 

Even if this friend were not to tell me this it would be pretty obvious?

 

Trying really hard to flirt with other girls to move on but it is hard...

[ExpatInItaly]

You're not ready to flirt with other girls yet,OP. And that's totally okay. Don't pressure yourself.

 

As for the ex - yes, she could be with someone else. But even if she isn't, when one person is able to make their exit like she did, the relationship was already failing. So even if she wasn't getting close to another guy, the end was probably drawing much nearer than you realized. Yes, it's a crappy way to go. I have also been betrayed, so I know how you are feeling. It shakes you. It changes your perception of the person you thought you knew.

 

It hurts when you feel like you've opened your heart to someone, and they just bow out. Most of us have been where you are now, at some point in our lives. Partners become part of the family, and then they're just no longer there after a break-up. It's painful, but also have to realize that an ex is not obligated to stay just because you or your family are kind to them. That's a separate matter from how your ex is feeling, and the fact that she checked out.

 

Believe me, it's better that you haven't heard from her now in a little bit. How confusing would that be? It would set you back once again. Detaching takes time, and No Contact is a good way to achieve that.

[Wobugan]

You're not ready to flirt with other girls yet,OP. And that's totally okay. Don't pressure yourself.

 

As for the ex - yes, she could be with someone else. But even if she isn't, when one person is able to make their exit like she did, the relationship was already failing. So even if she wasn't getting close to another guy, the end was probably drawing much nearer than you realized. Yes, it's a crappy way to go. I have also been betrayed, so I know how you are feeling. It shakes you. It changes your perception of the person you thought you knew.

 

It hurts when you feel like you've opened your heart to someone, and they just bow out. Most of us have been where you are now, at some point in our lives. Partners become part of the family, and then they're just no longer there after a break-up. It's painful, but also have to realize that an ex is not obligated to stay just because you or your family are kind to them. That's a separate matter from how your ex is feeling, and the fact that she checked out.

 

Believe me, it's better that you haven't heard from her now in a little bit. How confusing would that be? It would set you back once again. Detaching takes time, and No Contact is a good way to achieve that.

 

Yeah i just try to talk to girls online om tinder etc just to get away from the "oneism".

 

Also made a lot of New female friends Though my best friends gf.

 

Yeah this was really wierd i feel truly blindsided and left behind.

[ExpatInItaly]

Yeah i just try to talk to girls online om tinder etc just to get away from the "oneism".

 

Also made a lot of New female friends Though my best friends gf.

 

Yeah this was really wierd i feel truly blindsided and left behind.

 

Yes, it is a strange and painful feeling. But as time goes on and as you heal, it will begin to feel less weird, not having her in your life.

 

You will also likely begin to see things you can't see now, such as the fact that the relationship was probably not as wonderful as you remember it right now. With time and space, we begin to shift our perspective and often come to the conclusion that the break-up was not entirely a bad thing. Sometimes we don't want to see it as it's happening so we feel blindsided, but these types of splits are usually a while in the making. Sometimes the signs are obvious, and sometimes very subtle. But you will heal.

[Been]

She didn't tell you about things because most people are COWARDS when it comes to that. They just hope you'll "go away" eventually or if they stop giving you attention you'll just leave.

It didn't come out of the blue. You were just so infatuated with her you didn't see it. But it was there.

I'll tell you what - she's got some balls. Telling you that eventually you will get back together AFTER she's going to be with someone else.

Your going to hurt. Its natural. Just do not contact her. And BLOCK her number. You'll thank me latter for this advice.

Your silence to her will speak VOLUMES more to her then anything you could ever say to her.

And I tell you when she wants to talk to you about what happened-and she will at some point- DO NOT do it. You won't get closure. You won't get the full truth. And it isn't going to make you feel better.

Take the time to work on YOU. Go to the gym. Accomplish something you always wanted to but didn't.

[Wobugan]

Can anyone give me the specific signs that i am missing her or just someone?

 

What is the signs for missing the actual person or just someone?

[Wobugan]

She didn't tell you about things because most people are COWARDS when it comes to that. They just hope you'll "go away" eventually or if they stop giving you attention you'll just leave.

It didn't come out of the blue. You were just so infatuated with her you didn't see it. But it was there.

I'll tell you what - she's got some balls. Telling you that eventually you will get back together AFTER she's going to be with someone else.

Your going to hurt. Its natural. Just do not contact her. And BLOCK her number. You'll thank me latter for this advice.

Your silence to her will speak VOLUMES more to her then anything you could ever say to her.

And I tell you when she wants to talk to you about what happened-and she will at some point- DO NOT do it. You won't get closure. You won't get the full truth. And it isn't going to make you feel better.

Take the time to work on YOU. Go to the gym. Accomplish something you always wanted to but didn't.

 

Why didnt har ****ing communicate with me i am having so much anxiety now över not visiting more often then Every 2 weeks.

 

What the **** have we done....

 

 

I have done ****loads of improvements stopped plsyingn poker stopped smoking started working out 3-4 Times per week dressing 10x more proper acting more maturely got Into UNI got my own apartment. Started cooking more as well

 

I ****ing hope to god she comes back, i know everything i have done wrong. Neglecting her taking her för granted etc etc.

 

Is there any hope even if i move 4 hours away?

 

Shall i just try to move on? Talk with other girls to get the oneism away.

 

In so much ****ing pain

 

She added some wierd quote on Instagram "everything Will be Ok" something about us ?

Edited August 10, 2017 by Wobugan

[Wobugan]

Apparently she has started seeing some ex from 5 years ago as well????

 

 

WTF is this is the rebounding? Wtf

[ExpatInItaly]

Apparently she has started seeing some ex from 5 years ago as well????

 

 

WTF is this is the rebounding? Wtf

 

Dumpers aren't typically the ones who rebound, so I'd say no, it's not a rebound.

 

But how do you know this is true? Who told you?

[Wobugan]

Dumpers aren't typically the ones who rebound, so I'd say no, it's not a rebound.

 

But how do you know this is true? Who told you?

 

This is 100% true its really ****ing wierd

[ExpatInItaly]

This is 100% true its really ****ing wierd

 

I'm sorry to hear it.

 

Unfortunately, I have seen this more often than I care to acknowledge. Exes seemingly suddenly go back to their exes. It happened to me, many years ago now. It stings.

[Wobugan]

This is so damn strange this guy is maybe a 1/10 in regards to me be us a compl3te loser takes drugs and just basically an unintillegent idiot.

 

This makes ABSOLUTELT NO SENSE.

 

He hurt her extremely bad a couple of years ago it was out of my mind that she would go back there hahaha what the actual ****

 

So she grew out a relationship with me and not exchanged me for this ****ing hillbilly hahahahaha wrddddddd is going on here????????!!!!

 

What shall i do? Just block her from everything?

Edited August 12, 2017 by Wobugan

[Wobugan]

All my family have unfollowed her from social media today how the **** does she have the guts to still be in contact with my family through social media like nothing happened?

 

When she is with Another ****ing guy what the actual ****.

 

Absolutely discusted how she musr have just started talking to hon literally weeks after we had broken up.

 

Makes me want to vomit

Edited August 12, 2017 by Wobugan

[ExpatInItaly]

This is so damn strange this guy is maybe a 1/10 in regards to me be us a compl3te loser takes drugs and just basically an unintillegent idiot.

 

This makes ABSOLUTELT NO SENSE.

 

He hurt her extremely bad a couple of years ago it was out of my mind that she would go back there hahaha what the actual ****

 

So she grew out a relationship with me and not exchanged me for this ****ing hillbilly hahahahaha wrddddddd is going on here????????!!!!

 

What shall i do? Just block her from everything?

 

Yes, that would be the perfect response. You need to take care of yourself now, and having any access to her will only hurt you.

[Marc878]

You are acting like a teenager. She found someone else and dumped you for him.

 

You block her on everything and have your family do the same. If you don't find your balls to do this you'll just waste a lot of time stalking her. For what?

 

This isn't the end of the world and she's no special snowflake. Life goes on.

 

It's time to go your own way like she did.

Edited August 12, 2017 by Marc878

[Wobugan]

She is obviously trying very hard to hide this from me, she does probably not yet know that i know.

 

How can she ****ing go to a guy in the same city as me invite him to her Home in Gothenburg and everything literally weeks after our breakup.

 

While blaming our breakup on the distance what the actual **** is going on here? Immedietly jumpinf Into Another LDR.

 

Immedietly starting a "new" relationship.

 

Giving me the "i love you but i am not in love with you etc etc si much ****ing bullsjit what the actual ****.

 

This girl can **** OFF

[Wobugan]

You are acting like a teenager. She found someone else and dumped you for him.

 

You block her on everything and have your family do the same. If you don't find your balls to do this you'll just waste a lot of time stalking her. For what?

 

This isn't the end of the world and she's no special snowflake. Life goes on.

 

It's time to go your own way like she did.

 

No, this is even more wierd it was not the initial guy this was a guy she already been with which she now is back with.

[Wobugan]

So i found out from my friends it is 100% confirmed she started seeing this guy just after we broke up. "The old friend".

 

Its an old "kinda ex" of her which hurt her EXTREMELY bad called her names treated her like **** and is a complete loser and the total opposite of me.

 

I don´t have words to describe how absolutely discusted i feel about the thought of her just literally a few weeks after our breakup starting to see him and being intime with him.

 

It´s like she is straight out taking a piss on our whole relationship our family and everything we had 4 ****ing years. any other guy i would be ok with especially if it was someone at UNI or smth that would be understandable. But this ****ing piece of crap.

 

She is going into another relationship with exactly the same logistical issues the distance etc.

 

She is NEVER going to get what we had with this guy there is no way in hell.

 

Just hearing how she invites him to her city cooks for him and everything is so ****ing discusting its exactly those things she used to do for me.

 

Is she rebounding? isn´t it extremely fast to move on just a few weeks after? Did she start talking to him prior to our breakup perhaps?

 

Why does she choose to go to something which once was familiar? Is it the comfortness? it is really wierd.

 

I have removed her from everything as well as my family.

 

 

She called me out on why. I explained to her that a relationship requires communication and that we have failed to do it. Also i told her you cannot treat people like crap and expect them to be their friends, i also told her how she could crawl back to that hillbilly literally weeks after our breakup.

 

She told me it was nothing there and that i knew they have been friends for the last 7 years.

 

told her don´t you ****ing lie to me i deserve an explanation.

 

Then she told me she had "hanged" with him a little over the summer.

 

Hearing from my ****ing friends that they are dating hearing from my friends he is there in her apartment she in his.

 

What the actual **** this guy is a complete loser takes drugs goes to raves drinks and is not even in the same "group of people" that she hangs with.

 

He is literally a complete piece of crap, a total hillbilly.

 

What is it that she is seeing here? wtf has she done?

 

Is she so damn stupid to realize that she is only going to get used and get hurt again.

 

****ing girls

 

I will never in a million years want her back, **** how i miss what we used to have. If someone would told me this was how it would end i would place a 1000000000 to 1 chance of it happening.

 

Everything i ever thought about her is in complete ****ing ruins.

 

When i was home laying and ****ing crying she was with this guy, everyone thought our **** would workout. Now she has just taken one big ****ing piss on "us" i am so dissapointed.

Edited August 17, 2017 by Wobugan

[Wobugan]

Just wanted to give a quick update.

 

I still feel terrible longing and sadness Every day still, i just want to be happy again.

 

I am now Into UNI 4 hours away from her meeting New People new girls got my own first apartment began studying international business management and working out a lot but i really need to find happiness within myself.

 

In 3 years i will have a degree in Bachelor of business and science, i Will work hard as hell.

 

I miss what we used to have and how we used to be so loving and caring för eachother. Her going back to an old dirty hillbilly ex just weeks after we broken up feels horrible, absolute horrible.

 

I have been with one girl since we broke up absolute horrible just how different these two are.

 

I deleted her from everything some of ny family as well.

 

Guess NC is the Only way för me to go?

Edited September 9, 2017 by Wobugan

[springy]

NC and lots of time. Her choices are likely something you will never fully understand. Just know that many people have experienced being left for someone else. Keep looking forward to your future and pursuing your goals. The pain will dissipate slowly over time. NC all the way. Tell friends no more updates, nothing they share with you about her will be helpful. Sorry.

[Wobugan]

NC and lots of time. Her choices are likely something you will never fully understand. Just know that many people have experienced being left for someone else. Keep looking forward to your future and pursuing your goals. The pain will dissipate slowly over time. NC all the way. Tell friends no more updates, nothing they share with you about her will be helpful. Sorry.

 

Hos likely is it that she started talking to hon while in the actual relationshio?

 

We broke up in may and from what i know she started seeing him in the beginning of june.

 

When i confronted her about it she told me "you know him and i have been best friends for 7 years"

 

Then later on admitted it.

Edited September 10, 2017 by Wobugan

[Been]

It hurts I know. You trusted someone and they let you down and the on top of that they lied to you. So now your so mad at them because they ruined everything and now even the memories you have of them are tainted in your eyes.

I can't tell you for sure why people do things or why they treat people the way they do. I could write a list of reasons and more then likely one of those reasons would be it.

But I can tell you without a trace of doubt and from experience that no matter the reason given to you it HURTS ALOT. And that the hurt goes from being hurt to being angry. And when people are angry and hurt the first instinct is to lash out at someone. To return the hurt.

Don't carry the anger and resentment around because eventually it will eat you up from the inside and you'll change into a resentful person and future relationships that you have will suffer from a past relationship that is no longer.

In order to move on you have to go NC. No social media. No text. No phone number no updates from friends-nothing.

And then use your time to heal YOU. And you will get buy this.