Author Riot21 Posted November 16, 2017 Author Share Posted November 16, 2017 He also said he and her are not compatible. He said he and I were way more compatible but he likes her because she really likes him. He said she has a bad job, drinks too much at times, has crippling anxiety that she takes lots of meds for, is lazy, likes to play video games, and isn't motivated in her career. I just don't know what he sees in her to be honest. He is motivated in his career, works out daily, and really wants to build his business. Do people work these kinds of differences out? He and I talk almost daily still and he still is willing to see me and hang out with me. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 Why wouldn't he want to hang out with you? He gets sex with no commitment. He gets to have sex with 2 different women -- you and her. You also stroke his ego because you keep buying into his lies. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
trustyourself Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 Hey Riot, I am dealing with something similar. My ex has a hard time letting me go. I did not speak with her for almost 4 months and she reached out to me out of the blue. I was curious, so I met up with her, and it was like the old days. sparks flew and we ended up kissing. The bad part? She told me she was dating someone.. I met up with her a second time (she started texting me during the week with good mornings and constant texting throughout the day) as I needed to understand what this was. She told me the exact same stuff your ex is saying. That she needs more time to work on herself, that she is lost, etc etc. She said she didnt know what this was (her reaching out) but that it was obvious we had a special something. The kicker? She is still seeing the guy, and said she wanted to give it a chance with him. I told her we could not see each other or talk if she was with him, and restated that I could not just be her friend as obviously we have too much chemistry. I had to set the boundaries for my own sake, and it has brought me down again. I miss her so much, and its only been 3 days since we talked. You need to stop talking to him and meeting up with him for your own sake. She has made her choice for right now, and so has your ex. And that is to try it with someone else. Is there a possibility in the future? Maybe. But dont sit there drowning while they try to figure it out. I know it hurts. I am right there with you. But we need to move on and live our lives. Meet people, make friends, meet someone new. That is what they are doing, and we need to as well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 Asking why a guy who can get no-strings sex from you wants to spend time with you is like asking why someone would pick up a hundred dollar bill off the ground. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riot21 Posted November 16, 2017 Author Share Posted November 16, 2017 So he's a ****ty person for using me. And basically was using her also. She really likes him and he said he couldn't open himself up to her in the past because he promised me he would never fall in love with someone else. So he's a ****ing liar. He does love her and wants to be with her and had me on a string the whole time. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 And? I feel like people were telling you this about him in other threads about him. Don't be obtuse and keep trying to figure him out when who he is and what he's doing isn't at all complex. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 So he's a ****ty person for using me. And basically was using her also. She really likes him and he said he couldn't open himself up to her in the past because he promised me he would never fall in love with someone else. So he's a ****ing liar. He does love her and wants to be with her and had me on a string the whole time. It's as clear as day... You just haven't been willing to hear it or accept it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riot21 Posted December 24, 2017 Author Share Posted December 24, 2017 My ex says he likes this new girl a lot but doesn't see her as the one because of her negative qualities. He texts her often every day and says he likes her a lot because she's sweet and because he can probably fix her as a person because she is depressed, lazy, sad, unmotivated, and unhealthy. He wants to change her life and make her better before they break things off. They've been seeing each other for four months but they're not an official couple but we had sex yesterday and he said he felt guilty after. He things things are too tense between us and thinks we should speak in six months. Why does he want to do this? What benefits does he get from fixing someone who he sees as broken then leaving when he thinks she a better person. Link to post Share on other sites
avvril3000 Posted December 24, 2017 Share Posted December 24, 2017 Sounds like he is in both relationships (you, and her) just for the sex. If he actually cared about either of you, he would not fool around with both people. he doesn't love her, he is attracted to her and is enjoying the sex for now, until she becomes too hard to handle and will eventually break it off. with you, he says "things are too intense" meaning, he really only wants to have sex with you and not bother about the other parts of being with someone. Aka a casual thing. If i were you, i'd stop having sex with him. Go find a man who knows what and who he wants. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 25, 2017 Share Posted December 25, 2017 Why do you care? He's an EX. I have an EX who dumped me because we were too competitive professionally & he wanted a more traditional stay a home wife. I never thought he didn't care about me or love me on some level. I just wasn't who he wanted as the mother of his children. He got what he wanted & years later hinted that he'd love to have an affair with me. I just rolled my eyes & walked away. I have another EX who deeply loved me but not enough to marry me because he doesn't believe in marriage. Almost 2 decades later he's still unmarried. Love doesn't always conquer all nor does it mean forever . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Beachead Posted December 25, 2017 Share Posted December 25, 2017 Sounds like he is in both relationships (you, and her) just for the sex. If he actually cared about either of you, he would not fool around with both people. he doesn't love her, he is attracted to her and is enjoying the sex for now, until she becomes too hard to handle and will eventually break it off. with you, he says "things are too intense" meaning, he really only wants to have sex with you and not bother about the other parts of being with someone. Aka a casual thing. If i were you, i'd stop having sex with him. Go find a man who knows what and who he wants. I agree. He's using you and he's using her. Don't encourage his behavior by participating. Find someone who cares about giving you what you want and deserve. - Beachead 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riot21 Posted December 25, 2017 Author Share Posted December 25, 2017 My ex and I had sex. After, I realized how serious his so called casual relationship was with this other woman. I want to tell her that he lied to her about what he was doing and tell her what he actually was doing. She said she would get a restraining order against me if I talked to her again. I love my job and don't want to lose it. Should I just let it be and know that with time she will realize how terrible of a person he is? Link to post Share on other sites
HumanMachine Posted December 25, 2017 Share Posted December 25, 2017 Maybe she is enjoying a casual sexual relationship with your ex? What business is it of yours? Jeez you’ve already been threatened with a restraining order, hasn’t that served as a wake up call?!???!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riot21 Posted December 25, 2017 Author Share Posted December 25, 2017 My ex said he felt guilty after so I have no idea the nature of their relationship and my ex is a professional liar. He straight up was telling her that he was playing golf with his friends while I watched him type that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riot21 Posted December 25, 2017 Author Share Posted December 25, 2017 Maybe she is enjoying a casual sexual relationship with your ex? What business is it of yours? Jeez you’ve already been threatened with a restraining order, hasn’t that served as a wake up call?!???!! They text every day and she even once said she loved him.... Link to post Share on other sites
HumanMachine Posted December 25, 2017 Share Posted December 25, 2017 They text every day and she even once said she loved him.... And how is that any of your business? He’s your ex, you’re the one that chooses to still mess with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riot21 Posted December 25, 2017 Author Share Posted December 25, 2017 And how is that any of your business? He’s your ex, you’re the one that chooses to still mess with him. He still wants to talk to me and check up on me and wants to go on a date in six months. Link to post Share on other sites
HumanMachine Posted December 25, 2017 Share Posted December 25, 2017 He still wants to talk to me and check up on me and wants to go on a date in six months. So what? Why haven’t you got him blocked? He is literally keeping you as a backup plan in 6 months time, should it not work out with the new girl. If you’re silly enough to entertain this situation then you need to take responsibility of the consequences. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riot21 Posted December 25, 2017 Author Share Posted December 25, 2017 So what? Why haven’t you got him blocked? He is literally keeping you as a backup plan in 6 months time, should it not work out with the new girl. If you’re silly enough to entertain this situation then you need to take responsibility of the consequences. He swears it's just going to be a time where we will air things out and can forget our resentment. If he is a liar to mean isn't he going to continue to be a liar to anyone to get what he wants? Link to post Share on other sites
HumanMachine Posted December 25, 2017 Share Posted December 25, 2017 He swears it's just going to be a time where we will air things out and can forget our resentment. If he is a liar to mean isn't he going to continue to be a liar to anyone to get what he wants? So you’re going to put your life on hold for some pointless talk with your ex in 6 months time? Regarding him being a liar.. who knows? Why are you so bothered? He is your ex who you should’ve blocked. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riot21 Posted December 25, 2017 Author Share Posted December 25, 2017 So you’re going to put your life on hold for some pointless talk with your ex in 6 months time? Regarding him being a liar.. who knows? Why are you so bothered? He is your ex who you should’ve blocked. I mean if he is willing to lie to his new girl about ****ing me he is always going to be a liar? He always made me feel like I was the reason he lied to me all the time Link to post Share on other sites
HumanMachine Posted December 25, 2017 Share Posted December 25, 2017 I mean if he is willing to lie to his new girl about ****ing me he is always going to be a liar? He always made me feel like I was the reason he lied to me all the time Why does it matter?! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riot21 Posted December 25, 2017 Author Share Posted December 25, 2017 Why does it matter?! Because then I will know I dodged a bullet from a guy who will lie no matter who he is talking to and I won't hate myself so much for making him lie to me Link to post Share on other sites
HumanMachine Posted December 25, 2017 Share Posted December 25, 2017 Because then I will know I dodged a bullet from a guy who will lie no matter who he is talking to and I won't hate myself so much for making him lie to me You have most definitely dodged a bullet, however you must now take responsibility for your own actions and stop playing into his hands. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riot21 Posted December 25, 2017 Author Share Posted December 25, 2017 You have most definitely dodged a bullet, however you must now take responsibility for your own actions and stop playing into his hands. It is nice to know he is just a liar and it isn't my fault as he led me to believe for many many years. If he is willing to lie to this girl he will be willing to keep to anyone. I can't believe I loved someone like this so hard for so long. Link to post Share on other sites
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