Author Rko28 Posted July 6, 2017 Author Posted July 6, 2017 One thing I've learned, and you learned as well, is women only mean what they say in that moment. Any "I'll never leave you" or "I love you" should not be taken with too much weight. All it means is they are happy AT THAT TIME. Understand that their minds work differently than ours and are subject to change without notice. As you've found out. I always thought women were meant to be the more reliable of sexes when it comes to their emotions and feelings?
springy Posted July 6, 2017 Posted July 6, 2017 I always thought women were meant to be the more reliable of sexes when it comes to their emotions and feelings? My ex told me he loved me almost daily and uttered the phrase I'm not going anywhere just 3 weeks before he dumped me; followed by a full 3 page graduation speech in front of about 50 people in which he gushed about how much I meant to him so these types of actions are not gender specific. 1
SevenCity Posted July 6, 2017 Posted July 6, 2017 My ex told me he loved me almost daily and uttered the phrase I'm not going anywhere just 3 weeks before he dumped me; followed by a full 3 page graduation speech in front of about 50 people in which he gushed about how much I meant to him so these types of actions are not gender specific. There are guys like this but the behavior (and most dumping) is primarily from women. There are also women who mean it forever and always when they say they love you but they are rare. I've yet to meet one. You'll see this story again and again. Guy thought everything was fine because the woman said I love you forever and then she leaves. It's not as common for men to do it.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 6, 2017 Posted July 6, 2017 I always thought women were meant to be the more reliable of sexes when it comes to their emotions and feelings? I've seen this apparent flip-flopping in both genders. As a woman, I can tell you I have met more than one man who is guilty of doing so too. 2
Author Rko28 Posted July 6, 2017 Author Posted July 6, 2017 As i was thinking, both sides are as guilty for it 1
Funny bunny Posted July 7, 2017 Posted July 7, 2017 You need to forgive yourself. I'm having a hard time doing that too and pretty much torture myself but we are humans and we make stupid mistakes but that's what they are MISTAKES. Pray and ask for forgiveness.
Author Rko28 Posted July 7, 2017 Author Posted July 7, 2017 2 nights in a row without dreaming of her and 1st time I've woken up without that gut wrenching sad feeling in me. Of course, all this can change in the next few hours if I can't manage to hide from her
JJNY Posted July 7, 2017 Posted July 7, 2017 Forgiving myself is the hardest part lately. Zero sleep last night, again. I close my eyes and only picture her face. Driving me nuts. I have a long way to go to heal from this. Hope you're both well.
Author Rko28 Posted July 7, 2017 Author Posted July 7, 2017 Ok so I managed to avoid seeing her today, I saw the family from across the street but she wasn't with them and I don't think they saw me. Massive heart in the mouth moment
Author Rko28 Posted July 8, 2017 Author Posted July 8, 2017 So I avoided seeing her yesterday although did see some family members albeit they didn't see me, hit me hard. Today is the wedding but luckily I'm spending the whole day with friends and I've woke up feeling not as bad as I thought I would. Tomorrow hopefully spending with my little brother as there is a wedding party on that I was going to. Toughest weekend ahead now, get through this and I'm hoping things will start getting easier now 2
Author Rko28 Posted July 9, 2017 Author Posted July 9, 2017 Ok maybe with hindsight we can say it wasn't bluntly but when suggesting a holiday the night before it was still very much out the blue. This weekend has been difficult with the wedding, my thoughts have been with her all weekend. I went to another music festival with friends yesterday, had some beer with everyone and got drunk, I didn't text her, yes I don't have her number but I still know it so I'm glad I didn't. I got approached by quite a few girls too, my friends can't believe that I was turning them away, had to explain my head and heart isn't there, it's still with her. Again, I'm hoping things will be easier after this weekend as from now apart from 1 week in august, I literally have no idea what she's up to or her plans
1fish2fish Posted July 10, 2017 Posted July 10, 2017 Hey, The weekend is nearly over, and you made it through! AND you didn't contact her. Well done! Baby steps.
Author Rko28 Posted July 10, 2017 Author Posted July 10, 2017 Baby steps indeed. I just feel like bawling my eyes out today, I miss her so much, everything about her. I just want her to take me back 1
FailedFirstLove Posted July 10, 2017 Posted July 10, 2017 I wish we didn't have to go through heart break like this... I See other people and they cope just fine. They couldn't care less and my anxiety hrs and the pain seeps through. My nightmcares go on most nights and I wake up wishing that this wasn't reality hang in there.
Author Rko28 Posted July 12, 2017 Author Posted July 12, 2017 (edited) I've been pursuing YouTube past few nights on tips how to stay strong during NC and other help in getting over a break up. Stumbled upon [a guy called breakupbrad] who seems to talk a lot of sense. Anyone used his methods? The most interesting is how to get an ex back, going full on NC for 30 days then drop a friendly text reminding them of a happy time. It all is psychological and fundamentally changing their thoughts about you. He says this works a very high percentage of the time. Anyone ever used him? Edited July 12, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Edit title and plug for commercial content
Blanco Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 Never heard of him, but let me guess: He's got at least one book and a program he's trying to sell. 3
SevenCity Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 Your gf is not going to change her mind in a magical 30 days. If she wants back she'll let you know. Best thing you can do is NC forever and move on. 2
SammySammy Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 Never used NC as a trick to get somebody back. It's always be time and space for me to recover. For me, the problem with getting exes back - especially so soon - is what caused the breakup is usually still there. Just prolongs the misery. Best to get a fresh start. Alone or with someone else. jmho 1
springy Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 Doesn't seem like a ground breaking concept. Many people commit to nc for 30 days (or try to) in order to break it with the intention of trying to rekindle feelings. It doesn't sound like he's offering any advice that isn't on these boards? Is this what you plan to do?
basil67 Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 So, he's suggesting that a person refuses to speak to their ex for 30 days and then suddenly does a 180 and deems to speak to them? I will never understand the rationale behind this. If someone refused to speak to me, it would only further cement my opinion that I'm better off without them. 3
Blanco Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 So, he's suggesting that a person refuses to speak to their ex for 30 days and then suddenly does a 180 and deems to speak to them? I will never understand the rationale behind this. If someone refused to speak to me, it would only further cement my opinion that I'm better off without them. It's funny, because this technique (down to the 30 days part) seems to be the cornerstone of just about any of these "systems." I'm all about capitalism, but it's unfortunate that so many of these supposed gurus are ready to pounce on the heartbroken with parlor tricks that do nothing but make the peddler buckets of cash. 3
carhill Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 I've seen this strategy, or coincidence, with a few over the decades but my thoughts have always been, hey you're dead to me so why try to resurrect yourself? Oh, right, you think because I'm a guy that sex is always a draw. Heh, try someone else honey. You already leveraged my love bank for all you're gonna get in this life. 2
Chin Up Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 All those "ex back" clowns are just that. They're feeding you false hope and in return they hope when it's not working (and 99% of the time it doesnt) that you panic and spring for their "ultimate ex back guide! Have them chasing you in a month or less for $49.99 GUARANTEED!" and then a bunch of bs testimonials.. "I tried (insert charlatans name here) super mega ex recovery and I can't believe it! Oh my golly gee wonkers he was kicking my door in on a unicorn and now we're married! Thanks con man for your useless advice!!" -sonso in wherever. Don't waste your time with these, they suck you in cuz they make shiny promises of what you want you want to hear, but almost never deliver. Watch videos on how to get OVER your ex instead. 1
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