how to like my middle aged body

[basil67]

 

Well, that's not fair.

 

There are men and women on this site who can comment freely on any thread. The thread wasn't hijacked. Some of us were sincerely trying to help and feel that we face similar issues though we may be male. And similar in age.

 

Her problem is not unique to women. As you can see, we face it and struggle with it too.

 

OK, to make it gender neutral...

 

At the very least, I believe a thread started by someone looking for a way to find body acceptance is the place for the opposite sex to start posting about their own preferences on the matter.

[SammySammy]

OK, to make it gender neutral...

 

At the very least, I believe a thread started by someone looking for a way to find body acceptance is the place for the opposite sex to start posting about their own preferences on the matter.

 

Most didn't do that though. Even the guy who mentioned a preference wrote a long post that started with the importance of accepting yourself. A post that was well-received.

 

The OP is one of the most respected people on this board and I think everyone - men and women - was only trying to help.

[basil67]

Most didn't do that though. Even the guy who mentioned a preference wrote a long post that started with the importance of accepting yourself. A post that was well-received.

 

The OP is one of the most respected people on this board and I think everyone - men and women - was only trying to help.

 

I suppose I'm used to us trying to keep the OP's issue at the core of the discussion rather than going off on individual discussions.

 

Anyway, enough from me

 

Peace

[BikerAccnt]

I suppose I'm used to us trying to keep the OP's issue at the core of the discussion rather than going off on individual discussions.

 

Anyway, enough from me

 

Peace

 

Haha, Basil, surely you've been on the internet long enough to know that's not the way message threads work!

[Mumbles]

I find it ironic that a post started by a middle aged woman looking for body acceptance has been hijacked into a discussion by men on what female body types they find attractive....and discussing their own gym workouts.

 

Yeah, thats a fair cop - but though the conversation has flowed most of it is generally gender neutral.

 

Acceptance is important, but theres no real age where we should just wave the white flag in defeat and a lot of the posts have been thoughts and experiences to do with striving - to whatever extent - for health and changing ones appearance whilst also living in the real world with real limitations

[Eternal Sunshine]

I personally think that JA has the perfect body. I like her proportions and the muscle % and it would be something for me to aspire to. I don't really consider her muscular but even that level of muscle takes a lot of work to accomplish for most women. I think Nicole Kidman is way too boyish for example and don't find her body type attractive at all.

 

I have hired a personal trainer, first session is on Monday He thinks that I can get the body I want in 3-6 months. No way am I giving in without a fight.

Edited July 14, 2017 by Eternal Sunshine

[thefooloftheyear]

I personally think that JA has the perfect body. I like her proportions and the muscle % and it would be something for me to aspire to. I don't really consider her muscular but even that level of muscle takes a lot of work to accomplish for most women. I think Nicole Kidman is way too boyish for example and don't find her body type attractive at all.

 

I have hired a personal trainer, first session is on Monday He thinks that I can get the body I want in 3-6 months. No way am I giving in without a fight.

 

 

Terrific!

 

But listen...Don't give up if things don't happen as fast as you like(or your trainer promised)...This stuff takes time and significant changes happen for most people at a tortoise's pace..Just keep at it and you will be rewarded in the end..

 

TFY

[BC1980]

I know my problems especially 150 empty calories in soda. But to lose weight I can only consume 1200 calories per day. To feel full my diet has to be protein, fruit & veggies only. I don't like the taste of diet soda or coffee so I'm left with water & tea only. It gets boring. Also I don't get the caffeine jolt of sugared soda.

 

Have you ever tried a weight loss program like Ideal Protein or HMR? They can be a little pricey, but they are well worth the money IMO. I was always on the roller coaster of gaining and losing weight until I finally decided something had to be done. I would do those crazy deprivation diets and exercise all the time, only to gain the weight back b/c it wasn't sustainable.

 

I signed up for an HMR weight loss program out of sheer desperation, and it was a lifesaver. You learn how to actually eat a lot of food and still loose/maintain your weight. They want you to eat every 3 hours, but the food is high volume/low calorie. Ideal Protein is similar but is a ketogenic diet. HMR is metabolically balanced, so you can have more carbs.

 

Something I learned that was very important is that you can rewire your brain to crave healthy foods. What you crave is all about your reward center, and I had basically trained myself to view sugar as a reward. So you keep craving more of that reward and have to go through what is basically a detox to get it out of your system. But you can do it. You don't have to view weight loss/maintenance as deprivation. I was in that mindset for years, so I know where you are coming from. There's a book called "The Hunger Fix" that also has a plan to help you detox off sugar. It's a very enlightening book that made a lot of sense to me.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

 

Something I learned that was very important is that you can rewire your brain to crave healthy foods. What you crave is all about your reward center, and I had basically trained myself to view sugar as a reward. So you keep craving more of that reward and have to go through what is basically a detox to get it out of your system. But you can do it. You don't have to view weight loss/maintenance as deprivation. I was in that mindset for years, so I know where you are coming from. There's a book called "The Hunger Fix" that also has a plan to help you detox off sugar. It's a very enlightening book that made a lot of sense to me.

 

I think this is probably very true (I'm so fascinated about creating new brain pathways anyway, so this interests me). It's easy for me in the summer in the Northeast to eat healthy because I stop at local produce stands several times a week. I eat so many tomatoes and cucumbers lol. Winter is harder, though because the healthy foods I actually do crave aren't available. I can't imagine living in the arctic.

[Ariadne]

Since you guys said you like the super skinny girls, like Megan Fox, etc, do you think this girl is not attractive and fat? (

) Just curious.

[Ariadne]

Last year I tried diet & exercise while cutting out the soda. I lost almost 20 pounds but that 1200 calorie per day diet was not sustainable. It also did not significantly affect my stomach so I ended up depressed because I failed.

 

You can still eat a "lot" of food with very little calories.

 

Omelettes are your friend, use egg whites and any veggie. You can still eat chocolate, etc, once in a while.

 

If you eat clean and healthy you´ll feel much better and lighter anyway.

 

Yoga is also your friend.

[basil67]

Be careful with PTs and weights.

 

I got a PT about four years ago. She had me lifting the kinds of weight I would never have imagined. The weight just fell off me. But because she pushed me so quickly, I put out two neck vertebrae and my second rib. Spent two years and a small fortune trying different physios and osteopaths to diagnose and fix the problem. They'd release the muscles but none found the cause.

 

Finally found a physio who diagnosed the cause and put my bones back where they should be. And put them back again each time they came out repeatedly. And there was a long period of gentle rehab. Thankfully, I am finally fixed.

 

The upshot is that I'm financially hammered and back to my weight before all this happened. I am now doing moderate exercise and quite happy to accept my middle age body. Yes, I will have that glass of red and enjoy the cheese.

[Imported]

You should enjoy your workouts. Look forward to it and want to go do it. If there is a part of your workout that makes you dread having to go, get rid of it. Do something else. It should be productive, but it also should not make you dread working out. You don't have to go 110% to get results. Especially early on.

 

I usually like running, but when I have gotten out of shape and gained a few pounds, then return....running is torture and makes me hate having to go to the gym. When I was younger, I just grunted my way through pretty much everything. That's no longer really possible. I would just quit completely. Drop all of it over a part of my training that I don't like or just trying to do too much too soon. This last time, I still run to warm up, but it's just to warm up. Then I lift, which I always enjoyed. I decided not to concern myself with actually running till I dropped weight and just concentrate on lifting/diet.

 

I was in the open floor area of my gym where people stretch, push-ups, whatever. I saw some personal trainer running a new guy through stepping/jumping up and down steps/stands. The guy looked like he was going to pass out. I went and lifted for @40min and returned to stretch out before my run. There were EMT's there with a stretcher and not sure if they had to do CPR, but they had that guy on an IV drip and about to wheel him out to the ambulance.

 

There's no such thing as a "middle aged body". Just people that gave up. Probably because they expected too much too soon.

[Cali408]

Once you turn 45, it all goes in one place, your stomach.

 

My advice: The rule of 80

 

80% of your success is your diet.

 

Try to comply with your diet 80% of the time.

 

Limit your carbohydrates to 80 g /day

 

You need to find a way to exercise 5-6 days a week 1/2 hour - 45 minutes and sweating.

 

Walking doesn't count. You should walk every day.

 

If you can't find the time, get up earlier. Find the time.

 

Limit your alcohol intake to 2 days a week, no more than 3 drinks. Better yet, don't drink at all if that's possible.

 

Apple cider vinegar, 2 tbs diluted, 2 tbs of lemon juice, and 12 oz of water will help eliminate bloat. Drink one time daily before your first meal

 

Have one cheat meal a week. Including dessert, a couple of glasses of wine

[basil67]

If you can't find the time, get up earlier. Find the time.

 

I'm not going to be mean, because this is the type of thing I would have said before I had more world experience.

 

Fact is, finding time simply isn't possible for all women. Statistically, women are more likely to be carers than men. In the case of single women (or in the case where their husband is frequently away) who cares for the ones who need to be cared for while the carer is finding time to exercise?

 

I have quite a number of friends who care for disabled children. They don't get to pee in peace, let alone get up earlier and go exercise. Same with mothers of younger children.

 

Then there's the women who are keeping house for their children plus working full time and perhaps with a part time job too. They are already exhausted just keeping a roof over the family's head.

 

Or perhaps the granny who's caring for her grandchildren.

 

It would be nice to a 50 something woman who's caring duties have ended and has a job which doesn't involve onerous hours. I'm sure she could find exercise time. But life isn't like this for all women in this age bracket.

[bebe23]

I'm middle aged too, and I've reached a point in my life where I will exercise because I LIKE it, not because I 'have to' to look a certain way. This body has birthed some pretty damn beautiful children, and there ain't NO way a flat stomach is happening as I approach my 48th birthday this fall.

 

Middle age is awesome and freeing that way. And if you are single and looking for someone- well, most middle aged MEN aren't all that- and we shouldn't be shallow about them, either!

[sorano]

Stop using middle age as an excuse to look a certain way. If that makes you feel better then your going about this all wrong. Just because your 40 or 50 it doesn't mean you have to settle or think you can't look great.

 

Go to someone who knows food. An expert. Do your research. Not your primary care dr. They know nothing. There a primary care dr for a reason. Low scoring student in med school. Or they are lazy and just said eh I'll settle to be a reg dr.

 

Bringing celery and carrots to work and having your protein shake won't work. You have to find out what foods or combination of foods do what to your body. That's where the experts come in. Your body is forced to change. It has to.

 

You need a balanced life. So yes, have your cheat meal. But, with proper food, quality water, not Poland spring, the right vitamin dosage and regimen tailored for your body, eight hrs sleep, CHECKING YOUR HORMONES LEVELS, you WILL BE GOLDEN. The body will change. It's not easy. Go to drs that know what to do. That know hormones and food. The results will surprise you. Don't be a sheep and listen to certain people. Research and research.

 

If you work at this, and adjust and find out what your body needs, you will see how amazing. The human body is. Food food food food. Water. Vitamins. You are what you eat. The body heals through nutrition. Do research on how a VEGANS blood fights cancer cells better than a regular diet. Not saying go vegan but you get what I am getting at. FOOD. I may sound crazy but you will understand me when you learn what to do and say, Sorano was right that crazy bastard.

 

I'm friends with a moms who had five kids, fifty year old men with six packs, seventy year olds who look insane. They aren't special or gifted. What they all have in common is dedication and what I just said. Food, quality water, workout and vitamins. Results will follow.

 

One more tip. Look up different juicing recepies. Cucumbers, asparagus, beets, berries, broccoli. Learn what veggies you need to combine and see how you feel in two weeks. Your friends and family will think your on cocaine. Energy will be ridiculous. Have fun!

[camillalev]

Are you open or have time to work out? Maybe you meet with a personal trainer to get you started on a workout regime that works for you. I've heard doing a cut+cardio then doing a bulk with some weight training works for women. Muscle burns fat, and actually constantly being on a cut and only doing cardio can eat away at your muscle, thereby reducing the amount of fat you actually burn. I've read about a lot of women that developed a better body by weight training and eating more clean calories than they did by only doing cardio and calorie restricting. It's worth a try!

[kazen]

As I'm getting older, I don't worry about loving my body since it's going to decline with age anyways. I'm fine with growing old. My focus is to become a better person so that I would be happy with who I am on the inside. When I die someday, I hope to become the man I had always wanted to be.

[stixx]

UGH.

 

Growing up I was tall & skinny. For most of my life I had an off the rack size 6 body with a flat stomach.

 

Then I hit 40. My metabolism started to slow. I also discovered that I like rich foods, I enjoy my wine & due to "life" I don't get enough exercise. I carry the majority of my weight in my stomach; I actually have a bulge & in tight clothes or empire waist I look pregnant.

 

Last year I tried diet & exercise while cutting out the soda. I lost almost 20 pounds but that 1200 calorie per day diet was not sustainable. It also did not significantly affect my stomach so I ended up depressed because I failed. I have gained back about 8 of the pounds & it's all in my stomach. I have my mother's body. {Every woman who read this just cringed because you know what I'm talking about}

 

I spent yesterday unsuccessfully trying on formal wear. Nothing fit. I really don't want to spend huge amounts of money. I miss the days when I looked great in clothes.

 

How do I adjust my mind to my new body?

 

Adjust your body to a newer mind maybe? Im 6 foot and 186 since high school. I jumped 210 in the army because military guys lug around a bunch of crap and walk all day, but I was a rock. Pure muscle.

 

Now im a middle age dude and fluctuate at about 197 as my last weigh in at the Dr. I told him I was getting fat and he looked at me like I was nuts. He said I look better that most guys my age and under.

 

I cant dump this little pooch I have no matter now many sit ups I do and lemme tell ya...I can bang out 200 fast than heck and my tummy dont feel a thing.

 

My ex told me many times its just a hormone thing that guys my age experience and just live with the small pooch. I will take her word for it. She is way smarter than my Dr will ever be having multiple degrees...

 

...and even though we are not together anymore she said it was good that I had something to finally rub instead of bones. LOL

 

I have to admit the snuggies got better with my small pooch and it felt a bit nice.

 

As long as you dont have a big beer belly embrace the pooch Mr. Pooh bear. haha. Heck I hate a skinny female. I want a small pooch to rub myself. Love it personally. I love a healthy woman......Not a bag of bones.

[Imported]

 

I cant dump this little pooch I have no matter now many sit ups I do and lemme tell ya...I can bang out 200 fast than heck and my tummy dont feel a thing.

 

 

You don't "dump a pooch" by doing sit ups. I swear to God, I keep seeing over-weight people in the gym doing sit-ups and bicep curls, walking on the treadmill and almost nothing else. Walking on the treadmill at a challenging pace will help with "dumping the pooch", the other two things are almost a complete waste of time and energy at that stage.

 

You need to build muscles by working out your major muscle groups, not just doing bicep curls (not saying you do just bicep curls). Get to a point where you're not skinny-fat or fat-fat, but are muscular with fat. Then eat less calories than you need to maintain, while still lifting to reduce losing muscles.

Edited August 11, 2017 by Imported

[stixx]

You don't "dump a pooch" by doing sit ups. I swear to God, I keep seeing over-weight people in the gym doing sit-ups and bicep curls, walking on the treadmill and almost nothing else. Walking on the treadmill at a challenging pace will help with "dumping the pooch", the other two things are almost a complete waste of time and energy at that stage.

 

You need to build muscles by working out your major muscle groups, not just doing bicep curls (not saying you do just bicep curls). Get to a point where you're not skinny-fat or fat-fat, but are muscular with fat. Then eat less calories than you need to maintain, while still lifting to reduce losing muscles.

 

You can get rid of a small pooch fairly fast. Dont tell me about working out I used to be a personal trainer.

 

Im a middle age dude and I dont mind a little pooch. Im in better shape than many guys younger than me without doing a situp or a push up, and a gym is pretty much a waste of money overall.

 

If I had a big fat belly that some guys have I would be concerned. Im only 10 pounds over according to military standards so I'm not overweight in that way. I would be scared if I was.

 

Nothing wrong with a little squeeze on a guy or a gal. Skinny people look horrible. That gaunt herion addict look may be the think with a young "super model" if thats what ppl think pretty is, but I like a healthy person.

[1fish2fish]

Thanks everybody. You made me feel less alone.

 

You also reinforced that I need to get back into the gym. Some cardio & more weight training.

 

 

 

And that is exactly why I will never have a flat stomach again.

 

When I turned 45, I knew it was "now or never" to get into shape. I was slimmish, but had no muscle tone. I call it "skinny fat" because I had more fat on me than muscle. Plus, my genes suck. My sister at 5'0" is over 300 lbs and diabetic.

 

I got the P90X videos from a friend (the original 2004 series) and did them faithfully every day. They sucked. And it was HARD! And for the first 3 weeks I couldn't do any of the exercises more than2 reps.

 

But I stuck with it for an entire year and my body completely transformed. I am strong!! and I have muscles!! lol (side note: there is no way a woman will get bulky by lifting weights, unless she's using steroids. We don't have enough testosterone in our bodies)

 

More muscle is the only way to speed up your metabolism, btw.

 

You will need to get some dumbbells (I got mine from Craigslist - 10 lbs up to 35 lbs) and some bands (Amazon) that attach to a door. And a pullup bar. But that's it. I worked out in my living room, and the workouts are a little less than 60 minutes.

 

Also look up HIIT workouts. (High Intensity Interval Training). They are short burts of intense exercise followed by short rest periods for 20 minutes or so. Most of them are bodyweight exercises, so you don't need equipment.

 

Cardio exercise will only get you so far, and you body will adapt and get "too" efficient over time so you stop seeing results. Actually, that's true of most exercises, and why people give up. Once you plateau and stop seeing results, you need to up the intensity - either by heavier weights, shorter rest intervals, or different exercises.

 

Start with bodyweight exercises - pushups (modified from your knees are fine), crunches (sit ups suck and don't work your abs - and they are terrible for people with lower back issues), burpees, air squats...and go from there. 8-12 reps of each, 10 seconds rest in between each exercise, 3 rounds to start.

[1fish2fish]

Oh - and if you can do 20 reps of any exercise and don't feel a thing, you're either doing it wrong or not using enough weight.

 

[Imported]

I cant dump this little pooch I have no matter now many sit ups I do and lemme tell ya...I can bang out 200 fast than heck and my tummy dont feel a thing.

 

 

I used to be a personal trainer.

 

 

That just doesn't jive, but whatever.

 

Googling, I see the Army max weight for me at 5'11" 47 years old male is 186lbs and ...really????!!!!....a max body fat of 26% is within standards? I'm just guessing if you fail to meet the weight max, then they go by body fat.

 

I'm 5'11",177lbs @high 10% to low 11% BF. I'm also middle age or maybe upper middle age. Abs don't really come in till @9-11% depending. For me, it's lower when it really shows because I don't like bulky looking abs and mainly get them by dieting down to it. My ab routine are pull-ups and swimming. And not eating much. I'll start doing an actual ab workout once I am solidly under 11%.

 

Getting abs that show is more about getting your body fat low than it is about doing an ab workout. If you're happy with everything, that's great. I'm just saying being able to do 200 sit-ups will not equate to having a toned mid-section unless you're doing a whole lot of other things of which sit-ups are a small part of.