hippychick3 Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 OP, it's important to know that attraction does not equal attachment. No matter how hot and gorgeous a woman is, the man is not going to become attached to her right away. Love and attachment ONLY come in time. And, if you don't love and value yourself, you will only attract men who don't value you and will never truly love you. When you love and value yourself, you will attract an entirely different group of men. These are the men from which you need to choose. Please stop sleeping with men and work on yourself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 (edited) People treat you the way they feel about you. No one who is sane is going to make someone they don't know a priority after 6 hours of knowing them. That takes week/months to get to that point. Having sex with someone is not a contract or an obligation to elevate you into a priority position. It's just sex and it was a one time event. Unless he told you that day before you parted company that he intended to make you his girlfriend and to begin a relationship with you, ALL of what has transpired is in your head, not out in reality. If you don't want to feel devalued, and you want to have no strings attached sex, then you need to look upon sex as a physical act for that moment, not a step towards togetherness. But if you tie your value to sex, then you have to stop having sex without having had a talk about intention. You cannot be so desperate for a boyfriend that you sell yourself out because in the end, you have to live with yourself--you won't necessarily end up with the guy. Edited June 30, 2017 by kendahke 3 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Please stop dating asap and get some therapy. You're a middle-aged woman, not a girl (when I saw 30 in the post I was surprised after reading the threads before). Your 'almost-ex' was never your BF, this new dude was never your BF. If you continue that way you'd damage yourself psychologically. You need to figure out why you get attached in such an unhealthy way. I suffered through this before and turned to be related very much to my very unhealthy family. I'm sure you can get to a better spot, just give yourself some time to introspect and get some counseling. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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