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31 years old & want baby, he doesnt

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On 6/15/2017 at 7:08 PM, Amas5750 said:

Yesterday i broke up with him, even though we still love each other, because i am needing to have a baby and he cant at all commit to having a baby 'right now'.

He is highly anxious, 'in survival mode' and is 'being pulled in a million direction'. He has an incredibly high power/stress job.

Having children is something i was very honest about from the beginning. I absolutely must have them (not negotiable).

We often speak of compatible vs incompatible partners on this forum.


There are several levels of compatibility.

First and foremost you need a person with a compatible character. So you can like and understand each other.

But there's also the level of where you are in life and in which direction you're planning to go. 


It of possible to be with a partner who's compatible as a person, but not on the level of directions. You want children, he does not. That's incompatible.


(At least, he says "not now". But without any guarantee or even a reasonable expectation that tomorrow will be different. And his window of opportinity is schrinking. I fathered my second child at 40, which is a good age, but I don't think I'd want more children when significantly past 40).


Edit: I accidentally bumped an ancient post. 

Edited by Will am I
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On 7/5/2022 at 2:40 AM, stillafool said:

Good for you that you got to have your babies.  Are you now in a happy relationship too?

Yes. I’m married to a really good man now. I feel lucky and feel devastated for people still being treated like crap in relationships (like I was for 10-15 years). 
thank you very much for asking 

Edited by Amas5750
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