Investigation: The begining of the end?

[dichotomy]

Wait ....you left - whose home is it? or do you rent or something?

[4fin]

Wait ....you left - whose home is it? or do you rent or something?

 

OP decided to trade house for all of his other assets. No matter what I'd get off the mortgage to keep my credit from getting ruined or mess up my debt to income if I decided to buy a house. Much respect to you Uncle Boogie for how well you handled an awful situation. I don't think many would have the class you have shown you do. I'd say you're a 1 percent'r. I would say good luck but you have great mental clarity/capacity I'd trade for luck any day. Well done.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

What is a slave phone and how long have you had it?

[WilyWill]

You handled this like a good man would. I'm not sure I could say the same for myself.

[crystalstevens]

Update:

 

So after thinking of ways to confront and humiliate my wife and Dr. Dick, I came to the conclusion that the consequences of this way of thinking serves no purpose at all and all I want is out.

 

I went home Thursday night to confront my wife and waited until she came home from work. I have a slave phone of hers so I am able to read real time emails she writes. While at our house, she emailed to the Dr. that they should meet up one more time before he(me) comes home for one more shot of "fun". It dawned on me that they may come to my house for their "fun" time which would prove unfortunate for the good Doctor. Not wanting to go to jail, I called her and told her I was coming home early and would see her when she got home. Of course the email she sent was what a person would expect ",,,guess who is coming home early so no one shot of fun".

 

When she came home, I was sitting in my recliner in the dark and startled her when she turned on the lights. By the look in her face it think she knew something was wrong. I asked her to follow me to the bedroom and have a seat on the bed. I then pulled the cameras and microphones from the bedroom and said that I have everything on tape which she then put her face in her hands and started to shake. I said that she went to far, to include having sex in our bed and that I was done. She knows my decision making process and knew there reconciliation was not going to happen. I picked up the bag of clothes and other possessions and walked out. As I was leaving I could hear her crying and I almost caved in, but I just kept going.

 

I am now at my friends house recovering and trying to plan out the rest of my life, or more specifically, what I am going to do in the short term.

 

And so it goes...

 

 

I've been reading this from beginning to end and sir, I give you a standing ovation. It's amazing how you've kept your dignity throughout this whole time. You are a smart man and you're going to do well in life. When you least expect it, a nice, respecting, beautiful woman will walk into your life. I'm so sorry about your experience, your soon to be ex wife isn't much of a loss anyway. Glad no kids were involved.

[Mr Blunt]

Uncle Boogie

 

Concentrate solely on you getting the divorce the way that you want…Use everything that you can including your recordings and video…Also, be prepared to withstand a great amount of emotion coming from your wife to try to change your mind…You will be challenged by her emotional out pour to weaken you but you have your recordings to tell you the truth.

 

 

Now the thing that matters the most is you getting the divorce the way you want…You will get tempted to get sidetracked but keep your eye on what matters in the long haul..Use your impressive control and planning to get-r-done!

[Zona]

Update:

 

So after thinking of ways to confront and humiliate my wife and Dr. Dick, I came to the conclusion that the consequences of this way of thinking serves no purpose at all and all I want is out.

 

 

If you want to increase her pain and shame, ghost her. Sounds bad, but think of it as tough love. It might shock her to the point where she won't do it again to some other poor soul.

 

You can just get your lawyer's office to contact her, and tell her to direct all communications to them in regards to the divorce.

Edited June 17, 2017 by Zona

[Uncle Boogie]

If you want to increase her pain and shame, ghost her. Sounds bad, but think of it as tough love. It might shock her to the point where she won't do it again to some other poor soul.

 

You can just get your lawyer's office to contact her, and tell her to direct all communications to them in regards to the divorce.

In a round about way I think I will. I am going to take a assignment overseas that should last around one month. I usually don't go out anymore but I think this is what I need. She is calling like crazy and trying to find out where I am. I am just not ready to see or talk to her, don't know if I ever will be.

[spiderowl]

Sorry it is so tough OP. An experience like this is a journey. You will get through it. An intelligent guy like you will do well.

[Uncle Boogie]

Since I have some free time on my hands, I thought I would try to fill in some of the blanks. Regarding the video, I did not show it to anyone, not even the the Doctor's wife. There maybe legal issues on how it is used, but the camera's and audio devices were installed as in home security that just happened to capture a cheating spouse. This is admissible in this context of law. There might be issues involving any criminal actions, but this situation does not fall into this category. Even though my wife has not seen the video, she knows that I have it and will keep it in the event future actions deem its reveal necessary.

 

Regarding the Doctors wife. She knows that I have the evidence but she has not seen it yet. I don't think I will show it to her unless I get a subpoena for a court case. I am sure my wife will inform Doctor Dick that I indeed have a video and that I will bring it out if needed. I told her I will give any affidavit regarding what I know if it will help her case. She is still on the fence, however I think she is finding more information about his wayward activities. I will let her contact me, I will not contact her.

 

Regarding my wife's family.F#CK THEM. They are cut from the same mold as my wife and they can all rot together. I will never talk or see them again if it is possible. They not longer exist to me.

 

Me. I am still dazed by what happened. Their affair was going strong for months before I became aware and became proactive in finding the truth. It was either dumb luck or good timing that I was able to catch them on tape. I guess it doesn't matter which, since I found out anyway. My wife is going nuts trying to contact me but that won't happen. I can fall off the grid where she will never find me. This is my M.O. for the time being. Taking this assignment away from this toxic environment will be the best medicine for me. I know my path will be difficult for the near future, but I will continue to challenge myself in other activities to help get my mind right. My attorney will contact her in a couple of weeks regarding the previously mentioned division of property which I am hoping she will agree to. We will have to see. Some of those who responded questioned my decisiveness in my actions. This is understandable to those who don't know me. Through my training in federal law enforcement and private business, being decisive in your decisions could is the difference in life or death decision situations. Throughout my adult life, my philosophy has been that once I have made a decision, I will not waiver and see it through to its conclusion. Sometimes this works out other times it does not. People have commented that this way of thinking is too rigid and to some it is, but not to me. My wife knew this when she decided to cheat.

 

Anyway, just a little background about myself and my thought process. Good or bad, it is what it is.

 

And so it goes...

[deadsoul]

[OP, you] are handling this whole situation well. Take care. I admire that you took the high road, it is easy to go the revenge route, but it doesn't help anything. Believe me, she is suffering now and I'll bet Dr. Dick ran for the hills, because he is afraid of being exposed.

Edited June 18, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Commentary on trolling redacted

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I can fall off the grid where she will never find me. This is my M.O. for the time being. Taking this assignment away from this toxic environment will be the best medicine for me.

 

I'm assuming there are no kids involved?

[usa1ah]

UB is like myself. I would not stay if I found out my wife was or had cheated. It would hurt like heck but all she would get from me is divorce papers and a I hope it was worth it. His actions do not surprise me at all. The men the beg and plead are the ones I can't understand, it's like where is your manhood your pride.

 

As fir the POS doctor, after everything is finally in the divorce, report what happened to the hospital HR. That way if it effects your STBX the divorce will be finished and it won't hurt you.

 

He might even find that he accidentally shut his fingers in his car door. Oops.

[Bufo]

You have ripped more than a few pages from the play book of a guy who calls himself SpaceGhost. The role model and hero of another site for those who know that infidelity is a deal breaker.

 

Don't play her "let's talk" game. It's obvious that she knows that OM provides no along term prospects for her. She realized she risked everything for nothing. That's her problem, not yours. There is nothing you can say to her,'or vice versa, that will change history or make you feel better. The overseas assignment sounds like just the medicine you need. Out of sight, out of mind?

 

However, I have a few words of caution for you. Have you made arrangements to protect your assets while you are away? Mortgage and insurance payments come to mind. Have you secured yourself against her running up debt on joint credit cards? Ask a lawyer how to effectively do these things. While not likely to happen,'have you secured yourself against her abandoning the house? Get somebody to check on it. Finally, have you started the divorce? Your lawyer should be told of your forthcoming absence from this country.

 

I don't remember if you have told us the status via a via kids and her employment. So I won't pester you on those obvious points.

 

Finally, talk to your lawyer before you leave about securing your business not only from her but from some shark lawyer who equates self employment with a big potential payday for him. Distance is going to make any court fight problematic.

[Uncle Boogie]

Yep, no kids. She wanted to wait till her career in social work established herself, however, she changed her mind several years ago. This created a wedge between us over time and I guess she found relief with another person.

[Just a Guy]

Hi Boogie, things seem to be going your way. You have played your cards well although the results bring no joy because of their hurtful nature. I am sure that with your capacity to be cool in difficult circumstances, you will be able to chart a successful path out of this mess and come out the other side a much happier man.

 

[]If you are still young enough you could still become a Dad if you want to. Whatever path you take I wish you the very best for this new journey.

Edited June 18, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Off-topic content redacted

[Trtroles]

She cried because she got caught. She never planned to stop her affair,to tell you about it. She couldnt wait for another sex session,she couldnt wait to send you away from home...

 

Before you go make sure to expose cheaters. Go to their jobs,tell friends,family. They will try to make you like a bad guy.

 

Prepare yourself because your wife is going to tell you all kinds of lies,like you never payed atention to me,you worked hard,I was drunk,it was only three times and only kissing at the start... bla bla.

[Zona]

My wife is going nuts trying to contact me but that won't happen. I can fall off the grid where she will never find me. This is my M.O. for the time being.

 

Some of those who responded questioned my decisiveness in my actions. Throughout my adult life, my philosophy has been that once I have made a decision, I will not waiver and see it through to its conclusion.

 

 

Stay strong and continue to ghost her. You are actually doing her a favor in the long run, plus it will allow you to heal faster.

 

People that take decisive action have the best outcome in most cases. Having concrete proof is ideal, because cheaters are expert liars. You have saved yourself the lies, gaslighting, trickle-truthing, minimization, mind-games, etc., that most BS's have to suffer through, which only adds to the pain.

 

I'm sure you will be really careful with those videos. Some states have revenge porn laws that can get you jail time. You really need to keep tight ownership and control of them, as I'm sure you are aware because of your background in law enforcement.

 

I almost wish there was a cheater's registry, similar to a sex offenders registry. I know it is not realistic, but people need to know who they are getting involved with. The trauma from being a victim of infidelity can be just as severe as from rape, armed robbery, etc.

[Buckeye2]

I have a slave phone of hers so I am able to read real time emails she writes.

 

She is calling like crazy and trying to find out where I am. I am just not ready to see or talk to her, don't know if I ever will be.

 

It would be interesting to see what she is emailing Dick and her friends.

[elaine567]

It would be interesting to see what she is emailing Dick and her friends.

 

To what end?

I am sure the hurt runs deep, UB does not need the knife twisted in any further.

[William]

Folks, please don't ever discuss on-forum whether or not a thread or post is a troll, lie, fan-fiction, fabrication, or not. That's a guideline violation and will garner you a minimum of three days off from free posting, as some members just received, in addition to losing PM privileges if you have them. Stay focused on the topic and consider all postings to be authentic content for the purposes of discussion.

 

Feel free to report any suspicions of trolling to moderation *privately* using the 'alert us' button. Thanks!

[doyathinkso]

Do you live in a jurisdiction where you can sue the "doctor" for alienation-of-affection?

[kgcolonel]

I am beyond emotions here....how can UB's wife do this to a man she claimed to have loved or at least valued.

 

I too would love to know what this individual would have to say for herself...what could she possibly say to him after all that she has done????

 

Wow, nothing more just wow.

 

Very sorry you're in this. While I completely understand moving out of any further discussion as it could be a trigger for you, I just wonder what her reason is for blowing up your phone....she's got to know it over.

[Buckeye2]

It would be interesting to see what she is emailing Dick and her friends.

 

To what end?

I am sure the hurt runs deep, UB does not need the knife twisted in any further.

 

To protect himself. The divorce may get nasty and it's always good to know what the other side is up to.

[Mr Blunt]

However, my wife has some type of hold on me, where she can do the meanest things and eventually I forgive. A huge personality flaw on my part

.

 

Forgiveness is NOT a personality flaw but a sign of a strong person…

Forgive because that will be good for YOU!!...Forgiveness does not have to have anything to do with reconciliation and consequences…Forgive for your own emotions and then continue to follow through with your decisions to have a life without her.

 

Before she decided to betray you she stated that you were not home enough...You changed your work situation to please her and you were home a lot more…You sacrificed for her and she responded by choosing to stab you in the back so she could please her selfish ego and sexual feelings…She says that the AP makes her feel better than Uncle Boogie but that she does not want to leave UB because he treats her so well…She likes the things that UB gives her but wants to give her body, loyality, desires, and admiration to some fat player that has no integrity….That would be enough to leave such a cheater and the fact that you have no children with her would make it easier to break the bond.