Author misspalmy Posted July 4, 2017 Author Share Posted July 4, 2017 (edited) The kind of woman who's family has spiraled out of control because her husband had sex with OW and the OW decided to keep the baby. You had choice in this - she did not. You are giving her every woman's worst nightmare. If she can prove that he's not the father, you will be out of her life IMMEDIATELY and this will be a win for you all. Given your past sexual choices, it's more than fair for her to assume that the child's father could be any one of many men out there. But if he is proved to be the father, she can start taking the legal steps to sort out access and other financial considerations. She needs to know. If Nordic people can take their babies out in cold weather, so can you. You chose to put yourself in this situation, so you'd better toughen up. she could have kick him out didnt have to take him back. and the baby was plan by both of us, just now hes turn on his son, but if she wanted me out of the life the dna should be done the other week but she was playing games, its going to court, if she comes and say something she will get a cat fight cos she pisses me off, she needs to move on and forgive both of us not for me but for her, I was willing to do the dna test that cow ruin it. it would been cheaper to keep it out of court. Edited July 4, 2017 by misspalmy spelling Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 she needs to move on and forgive both of us Have you ever given her a sincere apology? Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 the thing is is brother is my other kids father an ex, should i tell his brother? hopefully that won't interfere with the DNA results. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 what kind of woman sets up at appt for me to get dna test at a lab. taking a baby out in winter as a sick joke, thats not payback she put the baby at risk getting sick when he wasnt getting it down, anyway i have move on from him i dont hardly think of him now, he is nothing but a lair and she can clean up after him and shes got deal with his snoring and lairing I cant stand snoring i like my sleep to much, Not sure what you mean by this? Most people take their babies out during winter or when it's chilly out. she needs to move on and forgive both of us Why should she forgive you? She doesn't and shouldn't have to forgive you. You're full of hate and resentment towards her! Seems your anger and hate is directed more at her than your exMM, her husband. If you're truly over him then it's you who has to forgive so you can be the one to move on and feel indifferent towards both of them. Counseling can help you through that so you can heal in a healthy way. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 she could have kick him out didnt have to take him back. and the baby was plan by both of us, just now hes turn on his son, but if she wanted me out of the life the dna should be done the other week but she was playing games, its going to court, if she comes and say something she will get a cat fight cos she pisses me off, she needs to move on and forgive both of us not for me but for her, I was willing to do the dna test that cow ruin it. it would been cheaper to keep it out of court. Are you going to forgive the W for being pissed off because you had sex with her husband? Afterall, you should do it for your own healing and for the sake of your baby. You are swarming in bitterness and it's not pretty. How is her getting a dna going to get you out of her life? Are you saying the baby is not her husbands? Link to post Share on other sites
wmacbride Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 she could have kick him out didnt have to take him back. and the baby was plan by both of us, just now hes turn on his son, but if she wanted me out of the life the dna should be done the other week but she was playing games, its going to court, if she comes and say something she will get a cat fight cos she pisses me off, she needs to move on and forgive both of us not for me but for her, I was willing to do the dna test that cow ruin it. it would been cheaper to keep it out of court. Oh for goodness sake, this is real life, not the Jerry Springer show. I have tried to see this from your point of view, and I expect it's been painful. The problem is you keep going back for more and stirring the pot. Why? Look, I know you're hurting, but inserting yourself into their lives isn't going to make you feel any better. As for the vitriol against your ex-mm wife. - she didn't force you to get involved with a married man - she didn't force you to sleep with him -she didn't force you to try and get pregnant -she didn't break you and your mm up ( he doesn't see you because he doesn't want to) -she isn't the one who has created this whole mess I get that it's easier to blame everyone else in your situation, and it hurts a lot less that facing that the only one responsible for this stress in your life is you. The thing is you have a choice here, and you are really lucky for it. I know that sounds weird, but if the crud in your life comes from yourself, then you have the power to make it stop. You can choose to step up an act like an adult. Sure, you messed up, but you have a beautiful new baby now to love. Giving your new little one the best life possible will mean letting go of your bitterness about the situation and finding the joy in your new life. You will move on and you will be happy....if you let that happen. Let your ex-mm and his wife find their own way now. I know it's hard, but wish them well. None of this happened to you, you made it happen as a willing participant, and it imploded. That is likely incredibly painful, but it doesn't mean you aren't worthy of love from a single guy who will make you ( and your child) the centre of his world. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 (edited) she could have kick him out didnt have to take him back. and the baby was plan by both of us, just now hes turn on his son, but if she wanted me out of the life the dna should be done the other week but she was playing games, its going to court, if she comes and say something she will get a cat fight cos she pisses me off, she needs to move on and forgive both of us not for me but for her, I was willing to do the dna test that cow ruin it. it would been cheaper to keep it out of court. If the MM is denying that he is the father or has doubt that he is the father and you are suing him for child support you won't be able to refuse a DNA test. The court will order one and you will have to comply. Also you will not get to decide how cheap or expensive child support will be for him. That will also be decided by a judge. You seem to think you have some magical power over people just because you squeezed out a baby fathered by a married man and now everyone has to do your bidding. I feel so sorry for your kids. Siblings who were fathered by brothers who were both cheating on their partners and now your kids will be ostracized by their fathers' families because of all the drama, hurt and just plain awkwardness of the situation. If you love your kids you will focus on trying to make their lives as normal as possible instead of putting so much of your energy into this low class childish drama you have going on with the MM and his wife. I've never heard of anybody refusing to take their babies out of the house in the winter. I live in Canada. We bundle our babies up and take them outside in the winter. It's not child abuse. Trying to paint the MMs wife as some evil witch just because she asked for a DNA test in the winter is really reaching. Edited July 5, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Troll callout ~T 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author misspalmy Posted July 7, 2017 Author Share Posted July 7, 2017 Have you ever given her a sincere apology? I have said i was sorry and i had no right to sleep with him, but unsure if she got the message may have been block, I'm not block on ex mm phone Link to post Share on other sites
Author misspalmy Posted July 20, 2017 Author Share Posted July 20, 2017 she the wife rings my mums place telling her everything, dont get why when i didnt cheat on her, then mm took the ph telling her about the dna test he wants done but made it seem like i was playing games, they stood me up when i went last time, i think he just got the papers for court, she was being a ...... in the background calling me names, shes very bitter and spikefull shes now been ringing up and hanging up his wife, waking me kids up, thoses two really belong to each other just as bad as each other, Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 His wife did it because she's wreaking revenge on you for your part in all of this. How you do not comprehend this is beyond me. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 Well imagine if someone actually married you and another woman was having sex with him and ended up pregnant. I doubt you would be calling her sweetheart. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
K.K. Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 Personally I think the only reason the other woman tells the wife is spite. Straight spite. They use that excuse "well I thought she should know" like they're doing her a favor. But they weren't telling her when they were with the married man. It's only when it's ending that they get this need to tell the wife. I would never tell. Because I know I would be doing it out of spite. Which would make me even lower than being just a collaborator in cheating. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ConInLA Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 I disagree with the post above. I understand why some OW tell. Who cares if its out of spite? These men should be outed for the cheaters that they are. The wife should know that her beloved husband is putting her health at risk. Yes, it is out of spite but what do you expect from a person doing such an immoral thing. Also, I have read that sometimes it helps lift the fog when the affair is outed to the spouse. There is no loyalty amongst thieves. Chalk it up to the game. Now to the OP, you need to block and cut all communication with these people. You've done enough. No offense, but at this point you're making a fool of yourself. So is the wife. You both disrespected her but her husband is the one who's job it was to protect her from situations like this. As other posters mentioned, go through the courts. He isn't a prize. I have no clue why you two women are acting like he is. I understand the kids aspect but still, come on! I wish you luck because this situation is extreme. You have to reclaim your life before its too late. You made some mistakes but don't let them ruin your life. There's a lesson in this somewhere. You have to open your eyes and use your mind. Learn from it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author misspalmy Posted July 21, 2017 Author Share Posted July 21, 2017 Well imagine if someone actually married you and another woman was having sex with him and ended up pregnant. I doubt you would be calling her sweetheart. i would kick him out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author misspalmy Posted July 21, 2017 Author Share Posted July 21, 2017 His wife did it because she's wreaking revenge on you for your part in all of this. How you do not comprehend this is beyond me. then she is worse than me and her cheating man. she wasting me trying hurt me when she could be trying fix her life. hes going to cheat again. with another chick Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 she the wife rings my mums place telling her everything, dont get why when i didnt cheat on her, then mm took the ph telling her about the dna test he wants done but made it seem like i was playing games, they stood me up when i went last time, i think he just got the papers for court, she was being a ...... in the background calling me names, shes very bitter and spikefull shes now been ringing up and hanging up his wife, waking me kids up, thoses two really belong to each other just as bad as each other, You invaded their marriage, had an affair with her husband. She doesn't like you and reacted by telling people what you did. Of course you didn't cheat on her as you're not married to her but you helped her husband betray her. Far from innocent here. Affairs are messy and many get hurt. her telling your mom that you had an A with her husband is just part of the consequences of your actions. You can't blame her for blowing up your world when you blew up hers. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 then she is worse than me and her cheating man. she wasting me trying hurt me when she could be trying fix her life. hes going to cheat again. with another chick She isn't worse at all, she's reacting to you invading her life and the affair. She was and is protecting her marriage and fighting for her husband. Your anger is directed at the wrong person here. It's him you should be mad at. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BTDT2012 Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 i would kick him out. I think everyone knows what they would do before they find themselves in a given situation. Link to post Share on other sites
wmacbride Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 (edited) she the wife rings my mums place telling her everything, dont get why when i didnt cheat on her, then mm took the ph telling her about the dna test he wants done but made it seem like i was playing games, they stood me up when i went last time, i think he just got the papers for court, she was being a ...... in the background calling me names, shes very bitter and spikefull shes now been ringing up and hanging up his wife, waking me kids up, thoses two really belong to each other just as bad as each other, I have tried to be kind to you, as you sound like you are hurting and angry, but I really need to tell you this. You are a MOTHER now. It's time to grow up and face some facts. You don't get to act like a little kid who got her toy taken away and now she's going to throw a hissy fit. NONE of this is on anyone elses head but your own. You inserted Yourself, uninvited by her, into her life, and you wonder why she's so ticked off? not only have YOUR actions caused her a huge amount of mental stress, YOUR actions are going to harm her children and you wonder why she's angry? Seriously, if you can't understand that, then you have some sort of issue and need help. You sleep with two married brothers, got pregnant and you think it's his wife that is the problem here? Really, come on. It's time to grow up, cut the crap and realize that this isn't your world and the rest of us just happen to live in it. If you hurt people, they may well fight back, and when they do, you may not like the consequences. Instead of wasting your time and mental energy chasing your tail, just stop. Think about hat is most important right now. Your new baby. Get a DNA test then sort out the legal side of the situation, including child support. Realize that you have invited his wife into your life for at least the next 18 years, and like it or not, your have to put your child first and find some way to be civil. Keep in mind that she has a huge pile of reasons to be angry at you, and you really have no reason to have any beef with her, as all of your situation lies 100 percent on your shoulders. I know that sounds harsh, but you are actually one damned lucky woman. You caused this crap in your life, but that also means that you can push it back out. If your new baby is his, and you can't find some way to get along with him and his wife, get some mediation. You'll be able to sort out visitation child support, custody arrangements, etc. If you still can't do it, think of the future. What do you want ( and be realistic) your child's life to look like say, five years from now? What steps will you need to take to get there? I can tell you that all the bitterness, projection and trying to divest yourself of any responsibility for the situation won't help you get there. You obviously have a lot of spark and fire in you. Find some way to harness this that will benefit and not hurt you. You might just find you have a huge well of untapped potential in yourself . Try to focus on that instead of him and his wife. Edited July 21, 2017 by wmacbride 4 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 i would kick him out. Sure you would. You also thought by telling her she would kick him out so you could have him. That didn't work. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 I think you need to stop blaming her and stop blaming him..... And take a long hard look at yourself. You are 100% responsible for the position you find yourself in and unless and until you face up to that, you will continue to face difficulties in your life. I don't understand how you plan to have a child with a MM. She has the right to tell your mum or anyone else she chooses to. You can't control her, just like she couldn't control you. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author misspalmy Posted July 21, 2017 Author Share Posted July 21, 2017 I think you need to stop blaming her and stop blaming him..... And take a long hard look at yourself. You are 100% responsible for the position you find yourself in and unless and until you face up to that, you will continue to face difficulties in your life. I don't understand how you plan to have a child with a MM. She has the right to tell your mum or anyone else she chooses to. You can't control her, just like she couldn't control you. all it proves is she a bitter woman Link to post Share on other sites
Author misspalmy Posted July 21, 2017 Author Share Posted July 21, 2017 Sure you would. You also thought by telling her she would kick him out so you could have him. That didn't work. I told her to end the affair. was the only reason i could brake free of him. and it work. i was getting unwell. i try to walk away he was like a drug Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 all it proves is she a bitter woman I'd be bitter, too, in her position. I'd also be vengeful. Be happy she hasn't shown up at your house with a weapon. The last OW I saw irl had to have her jaw wired back together surgically. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author misspalmy Posted July 21, 2017 Author Share Posted July 21, 2017 I'd be bitter, too, in her position. I'd also be vengeful. Be happy she hasn't shown up at your house with a weapon. The last OW I saw irl had to have her jaw wired back together surgically. what about the man hes the one who cheated, anyone who does that is not right in the head, makes them look worse than the 2 people that had a affair,why risk going to jail over a lieing man, Link to post Share on other sites
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