Making a Relationship "LONG TERM"

[DancerEngineer]

Did you read his e-book 17847837 times?

 

You are a pupil of all knowing Wayne, but admitted to the girl you were a virgin?

 

Joking aside, from what I have read here, using these tactics to emotionally manipulate a woman into liking you (negging, ignoring, etc.), eventually backfires. I think even Wayne would say to get out of this mess.

 

I have read it only once, sadly. I need to read it again and again. But I just applied his video "9 principles to making dates" with her today.

 

Monday she threatened to delete my number, and then i sent her a very FIRM text telling her to STOP CONTACTING ME! I mad it VERY CLEAR She can ONLY contact me if she changes her mind, but if she wants to put me in the friends zone, then she has NO RIGHT to contact me. it was a VERY FIRM AND SOLID TEXT.

Yesterday she sent a simple text:

-Her:"i love the text book you got me."

*ok she reached out to me after i firmly told her not to text me unless she changes her mind, so fine, then I asked her out because she contacted me after I gave her those rules"

Me:"I'm glad I was able to get the text book for you. Sorry for the late response, I was making plans for Greece all day. I'd love to see you, when are you free to get together? Maybe we can make dinner together or something?"

-Her:"make dinner together? Are you asking me to make you dinner? lmao

-Me:"We would make dinner "together" silly! Its just a fun suggestion. We can always go out for dinner. Or I mean if you want to sit there and make lobster for me, go ahead. LOL jk!!!"

-Her:" hahahahah you don't cook tho."

-Me:"That is where I become the Chef's apprentice, but if you rather not lets go out for dinner."

-Her:"ahahahahahaha when do you leave for vacation?"

-Me:"Second week of Augest. Well if you are unsure of your schedule, why don't you just get in contact with me once you find out and we will do something some other time. I gotta run."

-Her:"ok sounds good, and glad you are going on your vacation!"

Summary: She completely BLEW off making plans. Next time she reaches out, I'll just keep it short and say the same thing, "So I suppose you want to get together soon?"

She will obviously say "hurrrr durrrr hurrrr idk!!!"

I'll say the same thing: "Well let me know when you figure out your schedule and well do something then, i'll talk to you later."

 

-Coach Corey Wayne says ONLY ask 2 times, so this is strike 1.

I will only ask 2 times. After the second time asking, you DO NOT ask again and just keep saying, "ah great hearing from you, but i gotta go, keep in touch"

 

 

-If she ever ask me out like she always wants spontaneous dates, I will put it in her face and tell her, I am DONE accepting her offers because every single time she ask me to do something, I had to drop everything I was doing and the past times i tried to set dates and she just blow it off or ignored me, and its ****ing disrespectful. If she wants to continue seeing me, she can't ignore me and if she keeps doing it, this isn't going to work. we have to have mutual respect.

 

I am NO LONGER her errand boy, emotional tampon, male girlfriend. I will NOT accept ANY offers she ask me out on. If she wants to see me, she has to plan a date with me. it is that simple. I'm getting really sick of her disrespecting me.

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BTW, I hate how that other guy in this forum said don't have sex with a virgin. That freaking rude. So what? Now if anyone is a virgin they can't have sex, then I guess the worlds population will die down. Or we all have to wait till marriage. That was rude as heck. I know you didn't say that, but that was rude of Sweetfish to say.

 

Funny you brought up the virgin topic too because she kept telling me that she liked how I was now to sex and didn't have any bad habits. Then told me I was too goo to be a virgin. LOL

[DancerEngineer]

Follow up questions, if and when she ask me to do something, such as an errand, what would be a polite way of telling her no?

After we had the talk I have asked her out once since she started blowing up my phone non stop. She didn't want to set up a date. I will go with Coach Corey Wanes rule of only asking 2 times, and then never ask again.

But lets say she randomly ask me to get dinner or something where it would be convenient for her to get a free meal.

I'm not interested in that. I'm only interested in dating! I don't know how to counter her request for me taking her to home depot or working on her back yard studio stuff.

[MidwestUSA]

I thought you vowed to communicate with her only if she took you out of the friendzone? Now you've given her two more chances? You gave her the rules, she broke them. So you reward her by asking her out?

 

WTF dude? How is 'she's not girlfriend material' so difficult for you to understand?

 

I'm really scratching my head here.

[Violetstar]

First of all sex is awesome!

 

Secondly, it's a lot more emotional for women than men. I think after my 4th or 5th time having sex (at the END of the 1st month), I slipped up and told the guy I loved him. It just felt right to say it.

 

Her saying I love you is scarily too soon. Sure sex is emotional and if she had said it after a few dates and a few times having sex then it would be believable.

 

But there's something weird about it. You guys haven't dated for too long. She said it the first time having sex?

Maybe the sex was just that daaaaayuuuum good?

 

Oh and her talking about the next girl? That's a test! I sometimes say that that to my guy and say something like... "When you're with the next girl," or "When you're married."

 

I love it when the guys say, "There won't be a next girl." Or "Nah, you're my girl."

 

Sometimes it's a way of the girl trying to be cool and keep some emotional distance. She's trying to show you that SHE's chill about the relationship. Or she's testing you to see how much you like her.

 

My 24 year old brother literally asked me why girls say that about 2 weeks ago! I was surprised to learn I'm not the only girl that does that!

 

I'm guessing you two are young... probably between 18-25? Yep, that's us girls!

 

It's obvious she likes you. She may like you A LOT. But she's trying to test you, or she's trying to be cool about.

 

Keep being equally chill, and be cautious. Watch out for any weird questions or statements like that. And don't tell her you love her yet. Keep her waiting. She'll be waiting for it, i guarantee it.

[Violetstar]

So I skimmed through it because it was so painful and repetitive.

 

She's not that into you. She has the time. She can make time no matter how busy she is. She just doesn't want to. I've done the same thing. I've done everything she's done.

 

I go to school full time, I work full time on the weekends, and volunteer for my mom's non-profit. But when I REALLY like a guy, I will make time, no matter how exhausted I am. Because I care for him and I want him to feel loved and cared for.

 

Don't you want to be cared for? To be respected? To be liked just as much as you like them?

 

She is playing so many mind games! In the past, I did the same exact thing. I would change the subject if the guy asked me out for coffee, I would make up excuses not to see them, I would only invite them as a companion to the gym or to go shopping for shoes at the mall.

 

She's selfish. I know you like her. I know she was your first. But she doesn't care enough for you.

Believe me, I wish there were more guys out there like you and less girls like her out here!

 

If you want to keep her around as a companion, hoping for more, go for it. But please, I suggest you get out there and date a little to get her off your mind.

She's immature. She's busy. She doesn't even know what she wants. And she doesn't care about how you feel.

 

But let me tell you something, no one is ever THAT busy. Time can be made for those we truly care about.

Even if it's just to fall asleep in front of the television together.

 

Good luck!

If you want any more info on crazy girls who enjoy mind games go ahead and message back!

[Violetstar]

When she asks you out for an errand no matter HOW TEMPTING it is to tell her yes just to spend time with her..

 

DO NOT RESPOND.

 

You're easy to walk all over. It's so difficult. But DO NOT RESPOND. Only respond to messages that ask how you are or ask you out on a date, or if she's interested in a date.

 

My honest opinion is to drop her. But I can tell you do not want to do that. So pick your messages to respond to.

 

Also, forget the guy who said to never have sex with virgins. I like it because I get to teach them how I like things.

 

All of them did become a little clingy and attached. But they were always incredibly loving and generous. I have no regrets.

But I feel so bad that your first had to be this girl!

 

Start over with someone new. You'll find commitment and love with a girl who wants the same.

[Bastile]

Follow up questions, if and when she ask me to do something, such as an errand, what would be a polite way of telling her no?

 

Mess with her a bit more. Take the piss, and amuse yourself.

 

I wouldn't go anywhere near her iguana. I hate lizards, and they freak me out with the way they scuttle around.

 

I'd just tell her I'm not touching that bloody thing. Sit there with a paper, and watch her do it instead. If she has a problem with that, roll up the newpaper and chase her around the garden with it.

 

Just generally stop taking her so damn serious.

Edited July 7, 2017 by Bastile

[clia]

Monday she threatened to delete my number, and then i sent her a very FIRM text telling her to STOP CONTACTING ME! I mad it VERY CLEAR She can ONLY contact me if she changes her mind, but if she wants to put me in the friends zone, then she has NO RIGHT to contact me. it was a VERY FIRM AND SOLID TEXT.

 

It wasn't a very firm and solid text since, despite the fact that she HASN'T changed her mind, you are right back to where you started, scheming about how to ask her out again and responding to her texts. I'm honestly just shaking my head right now. Stop interpreting her pleas for attention as any further interest on her part.

 

Summary: She completely BLEW off making plans.

 

Why are you surprised? This is what she does. And you continue to put up with it.

 

-Coach Corey Wayne says ONLY ask 2 times, so this is strike 1.

I will only ask 2 times. After the second time asking, you DO NOT ask again and just keep saying, "ah great hearing from you, but i gotta go, keep in touch"

 

You've given her far more than 2 chances. This has been ongoing since you started "dating" her. Isn't this the same plan you proposed weeks ago? You talk a big game, but you don't follow through. That's why she knows she can continue to manipulate you.

 

I am NO LONGER her errand boy, emotional tampon, male girlfriend. I will NOT accept ANY offers she ask me out on. If she wants to see me, she has to plan a date with me. it is that simple. I'm getting really sick of her disrespecting me.

 

Ok.

 

Follow up questions, if and when she ask me to do something, such as an errand, what would be a polite way of telling her no?

 

Just say no. It's not impolite to say no.

 

I've said it over and over again. You are wasting your time with her. She told you she doesn't want to date you.

[Imajerk17]

That's really rude to accuse me of that. Coach Corey Wayne has really good advice on relationships. He isn't a master of pick up artist. I am reviewing his work to help prepare me so I don't **** up like always. I think it would be smart to review his work so I can avoid saying or doing something STUPID! This goes for ALL RELATIONSHIPS IN LIFE!

There is no manipulation here. If you have been reading this post, you would have seen where I said my biggest issue is my anxiety and OCD brain that messes everything up. Don't accuse me of stuff like that. That is very rude. I care very much about this girl.

And perhaps some people have different backgrounds and need books to help them with ALL relationships in life. Not everyone is an expert. That is why these books were written.

 

Awesome. Then if Corey Wayne's advice resonates with you, then why don't you stop asking everyone for advice and just follow Corey Wayne? I mean, that probably would be a huge improvement over what you are doing right now.

 

I am not too familiar with Corey Wayne, but I *am* positive that he wouldn't be advocating you letting her jerk you around like this, while you keep giving her all these additional chances as you post frantically on LS searching for play-by-play advice. I think he would instead be advocating that you get a grip and show some emotional control. (Some people may think he teaches a bit too much emotional control/playing stoic over showing some vulnerability, but given the frantic way you are now posting, you are a ways away from needing to be thinking about being too stoic.)

Edited July 7, 2017 by Imajerk17

[SevenCity]

I have read it only once, sadly. I need to read it again and again. But I just applied his video "9 principles to making dates" with her today.

 

Monday she threatened to delete my number, and then i sent her a very FIRM text telling her to STOP CONTACTING ME! I mad it VERY CLEAR She can ONLY contact me if she changes her mind, but if she wants to put me in the friends zone, then she has NO RIGHT to contact me. it was a VERY FIRM AND SOLID TEXT.

Yesterday she sent a simple text:

-Her:"i love the text book you got me."

*ok she reached out to me after i firmly told her not to text me unless she changes her mind, so fine, then I asked her out because she contacted me after I gave her those rules"

Me:"I'm glad I was able to get the text book for you. Sorry for the late response, I was making plans for Greece all day. I'd love to see you, when are you free to get together? Maybe we can make dinner together or something?"

-Her:"make dinner together? Are you asking me to make you dinner? lmao

-Me:"We would make dinner "together" silly! Its just a fun suggestion. We can always go out for dinner. Or I mean if you want to sit there and make lobster for me, go ahead. LOL jk!!!"

-Her:" hahahahah you don't cook tho."

-Me:"That is where I become the Chef's apprentice, but if you rather not lets go out for dinner."

-Her:"ahahahahahaha when do you leave for vacation?"

-Me:"Second week of Augest. Well if you are unsure of your schedule, why don't you just get in contact with me once you find out and we will do something some other time. I gotta run."

-Her:"ok sounds good, and glad you are going on your vacation!"

Summary: She completely BLEW off making plans. Next time she reaches out, I'll just keep it short and say the same thing, "So I suppose you want to get together soon?"

She will obviously say "hurrrr durrrr hurrrr idk!!!"

I'll say the same thing: "Well let me know when you figure out your schedule and well do something then, i'll talk to you later."

 

-Coach Corey Wayne says ONLY ask 2 times, so this is strike 1.

I will only ask 2 times. After the second time asking, you DO NOT ask again and just keep saying, "ah great hearing from you, but i gotta go, keep in touch"

 

 

-If she ever ask me out like she always wants spontaneous dates, I will put it in her face and tell her, I am DONE accepting her offers because every single time she ask me to do something, I had to drop everything I was doing and the past times i tried to set dates and she just blow it off or ignored me, and its ****ing disrespectful. If she wants to continue seeing me, she can't ignore me and if she keeps doing it, this isn't going to work. we have to have mutual respect.

 

I am NO LONGER her errand boy, emotional tampon, male girlfriend. I will NOT accept ANY offers she ask me out on. If she wants to see me, she has to plan a date with me. it is that simple. I'm getting really sick of her disrespecting me.

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BTW, I hate how that other guy in this forum said don't have sex with a virgin. That freaking rude. So what? Now if anyone is a virgin they can't have sex, then I guess the worlds population will die down. Or we all have to wait till marriage. That was rude as heck. I know you didn't say that, but that was rude of Sweetfish to say.

 

Funny you brought up the virgin topic too because she kept telling me that she liked how I was now to sex and didn't have any bad habits. Then told me I was too goo to be a virgin. LOL

 

Dude, you are completely not following CW...actually you are missing the whole point and giving people the impression that his stuff is garbage. It is not.

 

First, you got all butt hurt. There was no need to send a FIRM text DEMANDING she not reach out to you if she's seeking to friendzone you. You should have shown it through your actions. I would totally meet up with her if I was getting laid, if I was not getting laid I would not hang out with her. Simple as that. Labels are insecurity and a feminine trait. What do you care as long as you are having fun and having sex?

 

I didn't read the last half of the thread because it seemed to be a rehash of everything else (which was exhausting). What I gathered is that you thought getting her to be your gf would somehow alleviate your insecurity. Like having a label would change everything. It doesn't. Ask guys who are married and have their wives cheat on them or leave them (or both). Labels mean nothing.

 

Instead, you should be happy getting laid and leave it at that. The reason why CW says not to ask a woman to be your gf is many guys do that with the intent of locking her down. You experienced this yourself. Having the woman push for the RL ensures you are working on her timetable - you tried to force it. Moreover, secure women just know you are an item but may say something to make it official.

 

The biggest thing CW teaches is to have other options. You are investing yourself 100% in a girl who doesn't care about you very much. Date other woman and see how you feel once you've got other options. You'll eventually meet one who is chasing you and trying to lock YOU down. That's what you want.

 

I get you are OCD and have anxiety but this girl does not seem worth the effort. Any girl will be turned off by you analyzing every single text, sentence, or interaction. You have to be happy with you and have a great life - if a woman joins you great, if she leaves you'll be ok without her.

 

This is the first girl you ever slept with - and she will not be the last.

 

ps: Sweetfish meant by his comment that the way you are acting is the reason why people are warned not to sleep with virgins. That they become all clingy and crazy (like you are). It was not meant as an insult, rather to show your behavior (which is usually reserved for a woman).

 

The first time you had sex you knocked it out of the park and didn't nut too early - bravo! Take that and realize that you can be a great lover by practicing on psycho user chicks like this. When the right one comes along your skills will be master level.

[DancerEngineer]

Mess with her a bit more. Take the piss, and amuse yourself.

 

I wouldn't go anywhere near her iguana. I hate lizards, and they freak me out with the way they scuttle around.

 

I'd just tell her I'm not touching that bloody thing. Sit there with a paper, and watch her do it instead. If she has a problem with that, roll up the newpaper and chase her around the garden with it.

 

Just generally stop taking her so damn serious.

 

Sometimes talking **** about someone helps me get over them. LOLOLOLOLOL! Thanks brother. That actually gave me a little smile. This week is the hardest and the week I have cried like a moron because coming to terms that it actually might be over is the hardest.

[DancerEngineer]

It wasn't a very firm and solid text since, despite the fact that she HASN'T changed her mind, you are right back to where you started, scheming about how to ask her out again and responding to her texts. I'm honestly just shaking my head right now. Stop interpreting her pleas for attention as any further interest on her part.

 

Why are you surprised? This is what she does. And you continue to put up with it.

Ummmm Since last Friday night, our relationship is completely different. I am not where I was in the past. The issue I was having in the past was she wanted all our dates spontaneous, and I wanted to plan then out. WE WERE DATING AT THAT TIME. AND I NEVER SAID WE BECAME OFFICIALLY EXCLUSIVE. SHE WAS NEVER MY GIRLFRIEND!

I'm NOT surprised she blew off trying to make plans.

I am surprised she text me "AFTER" we had the talk and AFTER I sent her that VERY STRONG AND FIRM TEXT telling her to STOP CONTACTING ME IF I AM IN THE FRIEND ZONE, AND ONLY CONTACT ME IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND! I made this so firm, and my friends said I couldn't have made it any more clear! One even said I was a little rude in it because I was getting so annoyed.

And I even made it super clear to her in person Friday night we had the talk that she better not talk to me unless she takes me out of the friend zone. But then she kept texting me non sense that FRIENDS would send, so THEN that is when I sent her the text rephrasing what I told her that past Friday night. She stopped for 2 days of no texting. I thought her 2 days of no texting was her finally getting it to her head that she understood that she had no right to text me unless she changed her mind. But then she texted me 2 days AFTER I sent that text. That is what is shocking because I was so firm and clear.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You've given her far more than 2 chances. This has been ongoing since you started "dating" her. Isn't this the same plan you proposed weeks ago? You talk a big game, but you don't follow through. That's why she knows she can continue to manipulate you.

This is from the time AFTER we had the talk and I sent her that very firm text about when to only contact me.

So we are on strike 1.

Next time she contacts me, I will keep it very simple and say, so I suppose you want to get together then?

Then she will obviously ignore the question.

Then every time she tries and contacts me it will just be along the lines of "ah cool. yeah. that's nice. gotta run stay in touch." And I will NEVER ask her out after strike 2.

If she ask me out to do something spontaneous, I will tell her,

"there is a couple times i tried to set dates and you just blow it off or ignore me, that's ****ing disrespectful. and if you want to continue seeing me, you can't ignore me and she needs to make plans because every time I have seen her in the past I had to DROP EVERYTHING I WAS DOING JUST TO SEE HER, and if you keep doing it, this isn't going to work. we have to have mutual respect."

Maybe this would be a good time to tell her how upset I am that her friends fabricated over blown stories about me, and I am upset she didn't ask me and just went on believing them without talking to me. Because I think she still might believe her friends side of the stories. WHICH ARE FAKE!

 

 

 

Just say no. It's not impolite to say no.

 

I've said it over and over again. You are wasting your time with her. She told you she doesn't want to date you.

 

She only told me she didn't want to date that the night we had the talk.

She never said she didn't want to date me in the past.

SHE even called our previous dates dates.

She obviously doesn't want to date anymore. But this is a complete different issue from the past.

The issue we had when we WERE DATING was that she only wanted dates to be spontaneous.

The NEW ISSUE is that she friend zoned me for those 2 reasons i told you.

 

1) She interpreted me making plans as smothering her and she wanted it to be spontaneous, but I don't think much of this. This is more of an excuse.

 

2) Her friends fabricated over blown stories about me and she believed it. I can absolutely see how this scared her away, but I tried to tell her those stories were false, and told her I did have anxiety, but those stories were OVERBLOWN, but I don't know if she believes me.

 

She apologized about having poor communication and felt like an idiot accusing me of pressuring her and chasing her. But I have no idea what her thoughts were about the stupid game of telephone that was played. But the time the story got to her, it was all completely flawed and twisted.

[DancerEngineer]

I thought you vowed to communicate with her only if she took you out of the friendzone? Now you've given her two more chances? You gave her the rules, she broke them. So you reward her by asking her out?

 

WTF dude? How is 'she's not girlfriend material' so difficult for you to understand?

 

I'm really scratching my head here.

 

View my last post. It will explain it.

[DancerEngineer]

When she asks you out for an errand no matter HOW TEMPTING it is to tell her yes just to spend time with her..

 

DO NOT RESPOND.

 

You're easy to walk all over. It's so difficult. But DO NOT RESPOND. Only respond to messages that ask how you are or ask you out on a date, or if she's interested in a date.

 

My honest opinion is to drop her. But I can tell you do not want to do that. So pick your messages to respond to.

 

Also, forget the guy who said to never have sex with virgins. I like it because I get to teach them how I like things.

 

All of them did become a little clingy and attached. But they were always incredibly loving and generous. I have no regrets.

But I feel so bad that your first had to be this girl!

 

Start over with someone new. You'll find commitment and love with a girl who wants the same.

I just need to think of something cleaver to say to her when she ask me out for an errand.

 

 

 

In response to your other message about making time. The week we had sex, she was asking me every single ****ing day to hang out.

The issue I had when I made this post was that I was being a little moron and insecure about the comments she was making to test me and she wanted everything to be spontaneous, but i didn't want spontaneous, I wanted to make plans.

In my previous comments 2 post up, you can see where I explained where things went down the drain she gave me 2 reasons why she wanted to stop dating. But now that I look back to the week we had sex, she was head over heels over blown in love with me and testing me because she liked me so much. But the stupid communication issues and her friends playing a game of telephone changed everything and how she friend zoned me.

 

 

And I have a date with another girl Sunday night already. So ha! :p:D:p;)

It is another girl who is a lot more mature than this one is, and she is a better dancer too. lol not that dancing skills really matters in a partner to me, but its a plus.

And to be honest, the girl i have a date with gave me the lets just be friends speech this past December, but respected it when i told her not to contact me unless she takes me out of the friend zone. When I asked this girl when she was free, she said,"i'm always free :)" Little more maturity in her head then the last wanting to make everything spontaneous.

[DancerEngineer]

 

What I gathered is that you thought getting her to be your gf would somehow alleviate your insecurity. Like having a label would change everything. It doesn't. Ask guys who are married and have their wives cheat on them or leave them (or both). Labels mean nothing.

 

 

Ok first off, I NEVER asked her to be my girl friend ever. I have said that a million times. I never even called her my girlfriend....ever. We were only dating.

The talk just came up. She was pushing for the talk. And Friday night when we had the talk, that is when she said she just wants to be friend for those 2 reasons I said above.

 

 

Also you said I should have continued to ignore her. Here is the time line.

Friday night we had the talk and I gave her Coach Corey Waynes talk contact me if you change your mind talk. She blew up my phone non stop AFTER I gave her that talk and I didn't respond to ANY text message she sent.

Then on Monday night, she was going bat **** crazy on me and told me she was going to delete my number so I have to contact her if I ever want to talk. THEN Monday night AFTER she said that I sent her that text saying, "MAYBE I DIDN'T MAKE MYSELF CLEAR! BUT LET ME BREAK THIS DOWN FOR YOU. And said Coach Corey Waynes come back to lets just be friends."

I was really annoyed that she kept texting me just random gibberish and wouldn't stop trying to get me to respond. She was blowing up my phone ALLLL FREAKING DAY LONG!

Then she stopped contacting me after I sent her that text Monday night, and then contacted me Wednesday night.

-Coach Corey Wayne says whenever a woman reaches out to you after no contact, always assume its because they want to get together.

So this is where I applied his rejected twice, stop asking rule.

In the past the issue wasn't that she didn't want to hook up, the issue was that she wanted everything spontaneous. I had to drop everything I was doing when she told me to come over or something and it was getting annoying because I didn't want to be spontaneous and she only wanted it spontaneous. We hooked up MANY times AFTER we had sex, but it was just making out and fingering, and her jerking me off.

 

At this point I AM NOT contacting her ever. I decided that after she stopped contacting me and then contacted me, I would go with Coach Corey Waynes advice that is to make a date whenever the girl reaches out to you. And I am using his rejected twice, don't ask rule now.

The this moment we are on strike 1. next time she text Ill say, so I suppose you wanted to hang then? Then she will obviously blow me off, and i will say ok, let me know when you figure it out and we will do it some other time.

And after strike 2, I'm done. Never asking her out ever. She has to invite me to her house. She has to invited me to something that involves hooking up. So this is where I am trying to find stuff to say back to her if she invites me to do errands.

[MidwestUSA]

View my last post. It will explain it.

 

Dude, repeating your story and putting random caps on words for emphasis doesn't make it a different. I got it the first time. Your anxiety is spiraling out of control. That's the most obvious takeaway.

 

She's not abiding by your rules, but you're giving her two more chances (one now).

 

What's your end goal here? It seems like it's changed from wanting her to act like a gf, to being available for you to gat laid when you want to. Did I interpret that correctly?

[Bastile]

I'm going to repeat what I said to you way back.

 

The subject of the thread was “making a relationship long-term”. You've gotten completely off of that topic.

 

The reason for that is very important. It's frame (something else which Corey Wayne probably doesn't talk about, but is one of the most important things). You've allowed this girl to drag you into her reality of gekkos, guest-rooms, and druggy friends.

 

So, let's start talking long-term relationships. The simple fact is that this current marketplace is great for short-term flings, and is an absolute horrorshow for trying to build a great ltr.

 

Corey Wayne's stuff is about trying to manage a low-interest woman. It lacks even the consideration of inviting great people into your life. It's an extremely limited and flawed philosophy.

 

If you want a ltr, then stop allowing this woman to divert you to the extent that she has. You're going to have to go through a lot of different girls to get a really great relationship.

 

Stop micromanaging her, and get back to considering your goals.

 

Stop making this thread about just this one woman. And start making it about finding the right ltr. Broaden your perspective.

[guest569]

My advice:

 

1. Forget the first girl. It didn't work. Stop texting her altogether. Ever. And don't announce this to her. Silence. take back control rather than wasting time wondering if she will change her mind.

 

2. Focus on the girl you are about to go on a date with.

 

3. Forget Corey Wayne. Do you really think that every woman in the world is the same and acts in the same ways and responds to emotional manipulation in the same manner? Learn from your previous experience. If you really need help, learn some more about reading people through their behaviour and body language and social cues to become more aware. Keeping in mind that we are all unique and there is no blanket advice. A lot of it comes down to gut feelings, prior experiences and open and honest communication.

 

4. Keep your cool! Go on a few dates, learn about her, find out if you are compatible or have feelings for each other. Then ask her to be your girlfriend when the time is right and you have had the opportunity to get to know each other (and I don't mean in bed ).

 

Asking a woman to be your girlfriend on a first date, or telling her to take you out of the friendzone before even going on a date? This puts a lot of pressure on her. Let things progress naturally.

 

Good luck! And have fun for goodness sake. There is way too much drama here for a young man. You have plenty of time. No need to rush.

[DancerEngineer]

Dude, repeating your story and putting random caps on words for emphasis doesn't make it a different. I got it the first time. Your anxiety is spiraling out of control. That's the most obvious takeaway.

 

She's not abiding by your rules, but you're giving her two more chances (one now).

 

What's your end goal here? It seems like it's changed from wanting her to act like a gf, to being available for you to gat laid when you want to. Did I interpret that correctly?

 

No, i want her to open up to me about her feelings.

[DancerEngineer]

My advice:

 

1. Forget the first girl. It didn't work. Stop texting her altogether. Ever. And don't announce this to her. Silence. take back control rather than wasting time wondering if she will change her mind.

 

2. Focus on the girl you are about to go on a date with.

 

3. Forget Corey Wayne. Do you really think that every woman in the world is the same and acts in the same ways and responds to emotional manipulation in the same manner? Learn from your previous experience. If you really need help, learn some more about reading people through their behaviour and body language and social cues to become more aware. Keeping in mind that we are all unique and there is no blanket advice. A lot of it comes down to gut feelings, prior experiences and open and honest communication.

 

4. Keep your cool! Go on a few dates, learn about her, find out if you are compatible or have feelings for each other. Then ask her to be your girlfriend when the time is right and you have had the opportunity to get to know each other (and I don't mean in bed ).

 

Asking a woman to be your girlfriend on a first date, or telling her to take you out of the friendzone before even going on a date? This puts a lot of pressure on her. Let things progress naturally.

 

Good luck! And have fun for goodness sake. There is way too much drama here for a young man. You have plenty of time. No need to rush.

 

Who said I ever asked a girl to be my girlfriend on the first date? I have never asked any girl to be my girlfriend. And yes I went out with this girl from last night. I'm not using her as a rebound because I do like this new girl.

[DancerEngineer]

And as for the first girl. She wont stop contacting me. Yesterday she called me 5 times in a row and then finally left me a voice mail after I wasn't picking up. She said,"can you please call me back its very important.. she was crying in her voice mail."

So I figured i better pick up and see whats up maybe she want to be real about her feelings.

When i picked up, she was on her way to LA and she told me she just got a call from her mom that her gecko passed away. So she was crying. I just played it chill and told her i was sorry to hear that. Let her vent just a little so i don't come off as a jack ass after her pet has passed away. then I told her I had to go because I was getting ready to go out with a friend. She instantly asked about it because she was obviously getting jelous and thought i was going out with another girl.

 

Then she continued to text me with all these crying emojis telling me how much her life has sucked this past week and how miserable she was. Which is the week I stopped talking to her. Then started to tell me how much it meant to her that I help her with her gecko in the past. I simply just said, well i'm sorry to hear that, and I have to run.

 

Then today she called me, but I didn't pick up.

 

I made my rules so clear that Friday night we had to talk and told her DO NOT CONTACT ME!

And then after she kept contacting me, I sent her that very solid and demanding text reminding her of my rules and told her she was being extremely disrespectful if she doesn't want to be open about her feelings and to freaking leave me along if she doesn't' want anything serious.

But she wont stop contacting me!!! No girl continues to contact a guy like this and go bat **** crazy over him unless she had some sort of romantic feelings. IDK how to get her to open up about her feelings! She wont open up!!!

I have two options

1) flat out ignore her and say nothing. don't even respond to her text or voice mails unless she opens up about her feelings.

2) continue to not contact her, but when she contacts me, do NOT ask her out just keep it short and be like oh uhh mhmm that's nice cool..., hey I gotta run. Keep doing that until she opens up about her feelings.

 

I did number 1, and all it did was make her angry and threaten to delete my number, but she didn't. I do not know how to get her to open out.

She is very closed about her feelings. Even the day after she told me she loved me, she said, "remember when I told you that." Like she is so closed about her feelings. She can't open up.

 

 

I had fun with the girl i went out on a date with last night, and I'm not using her as a rebound since I do like her, but I couldn't stop thinking about the first girl when i was with her last night.

[DancerEngineer]

You all think ignoring her is the best decision.

Not according to Coach Corey Wayne.

[guest569]

Who said I ever asked a girl to be my girlfriend on the first date?

 

You.

 

I had fun with the girl i went out on a date with last night, and I'm not using her as a rebound since I do like her, but I couldn't stop thinking about the first girl when i was with her last night.

 

You all think ignoring her is the best decision.

Not according to Coach Corey Wayne.

 

If you actually care about the girl you dated last night, or actually want to move on, delete and block the first girl. If not, carry on with the childish games with girl #1 until she suddenly confesses her undying love for you and you can drive off into the sunset.

[MidwestUSA]

She's not going to open up and tell you her feelings, at least not ones you'd like to hear about.

 

You've been an errand/handy boy, and now you're her sounding board for her grief over a gecko (condolences on the loss of your nephew, btw), among other things. Why did her week suck? Did she start her period too (check your app)?

 

Women with a romantic interest in a guy don't put all this crap on a man. You're her bff.

 

I have a feeling you're about to be invited to a memorial service. Ignore.

[Bastile]

Girl #1 simply sounds like the type that gets off on guys treating her badly.

 

I really struggle to see how you have any respect for her. And ironically, it is disrespect that is increasing her interest level again.

 

Can't possibly ltr people like that. Questionable whether you should be answering the phone to her, either.

 

Watch how that increases her interest too

 

She doesn't even seem good quality for FWB, mate. It's a case of treating her badly, and just for sex. Maybe even a "hate F".

 

Sure you want people like that in your life? Wouldn't it be better just to block, and transcend such people?